AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Two parts
Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [8]
The essay addresses the question and provides a logically structured argument. The student gives a clear opinion, and the essay is well developed with examples to support statements.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The student transitions between ideas and sections, and there is a clear progression of ideas. However, some ideas could be more cohesively tied together.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student uses a range of vocabulary and expressions appropriate to the context. There are a few repetitions that can be avoided by using varied terms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [8]
The student displays a good command of complex language structures. There are very few grammatical errors that do not affect clarity.
Overall: [7.5]
Task Response: [8]
The essay addresses the question and provides a logically structured argument. The student gives a clear opinion, and the essay is well developed with examples to support statements.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The student transitions between ideas and sections, and there is a clear progression of ideas. However, some ideas could be more cohesively tied together.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student uses a range of vocabulary and expressions appropriate to the context. There are a few repetitions that can be avoided by using varied terms.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [8]
The student displays a good command of complex language structures. There are very few grammatical errors that do not affect clarity.
Overall: [7.5]
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Essay:
Shopping has emerged as a leading leisure activity among young adults in several countries worldwide. This essay will delve into the reasons behind this surge in popularity and provide perspective on its consequences.
An array of factors contribute to the preference of shopping as a pastime. Firstly, the extensive variety of products available today caters to widely diverse interests, rendering shopping a fascinating activity for many, irrespective of their preferences. From clothing to electronics and books, the choice is limitless. Furthermore, shopping has transformed into a social engagement. Friends often plan shopping ventures, taking pleasure in exploring different stores and discovering products that appeal to them, effectively converting shopping into an enjoyable social event.
From my standpoint, this trend of perceiving shopping as a leisure activity is positively inclined. It amplifies domestic consumption, ensuring substantial money circulation, which inadvertently promotes job creation, business growth and improved taxation, all contributing to the betterment of the society. Moreover, vibrant shopping economies attract tourists, significantly bolstering tourism. For instance, shopping is the primary motive that beckons Chinese tourists to Korea, bringing considerable foreign revenue into the country's economy, thus substantiating the positive repercussions of this development.
In conclusion, the wide-ranging product availability and the socialization aspect of shopping have elevated it to a preferred leisure activity among adults. This phenomenon, in my view, yields positive outcomes, given its role in boosting the economy and promoting tourism.
Word count: 265
Essay translated in Korean:
쇼핑은 전 세계의 여러 나라에서 청년들 사이에 레저 활동으로 주목받고 있습니다. 이 에세이에서는 이러한 인기의 뒷받침되는 이유를 탐구하고 그 결과에 대한 견해를 제공할 것입니다.
다양한 요인이 쇼핑을 즐겨 찾는 여가 활동으로 만듭니다. 먼저, 오늘날 사용 가능한 다양한 제품은 넓게 다양한 관심사를 충족시켜 많은 사람들이 쇼핑을 매력적인 활동으로 여기게 만듭니다. 옷에서부터 전자제품, 책까지 선택의 폭이 무한합니다. 또한 쇼핑은 사회적 이벤트로 변모하였습니다. 친구들은 종종 쇼핑을 계획하고, 다른 상점을 탐색하고 매력적인 제품을 찾아내는 즐거움을 누림으로써 쇼핑을 즐겁게 만듭니다.
제 시각에서 보면, 쇼핑을 레저 활동으로 인식하는 이 트렌드는 긍정적입니다. 이것은 국내소비를 확대시키고, 충분한 돈을 유통시키며, 일자리 창출, 사업 성장, 향상된 세금을 촉진하며, 모두 사회 발전에 기여합니다. 더욱이, 활발한 쇼핑 경제는 관광객을 유치, 관광을 크게 부평합니다. 예를 들어, 쇼핑은 중국 관광객을 한국에 불러들이는 주된 동기로, 상당한 외화를 한국의 경제에 대 금액으로 투입하여 이 발전의 긍정적인 영향을 입증합니다.
결론적으로, 다양한 제품의 제공과 쇼핑의 사회화 측면으로 인해 쇼핑이 성인들 사이에서 선호하는 레저 활동으로 인식되었습니다. 이 현상은 제 의견으로는 경제와 관광 촉진을 통해 긍정적인 결과를 얻습니다.
Good expressions:
1. extensive variety - 광범위한 다양성
2. transformed into a social engagement - 사회적 참여로 변모하다
3. amplies domestic consumption - 국내 소비를 확대시킨다
4. vibrant shopping economies - 활발한 쇼핑 경제
5. substantial money circulation - 상당한 돈의 유통
6. wide-ranging product availability - 광범위한 제품 가용성
7. bolstering tourism - 관광 활성화
Shopping has emerged as a leading leisure activity among young adults in several countries worldwide. This essay will delve into the reasons behind this surge in popularity and provide perspective on its consequences.
An array of factors contribute to the preference of shopping as a pastime. Firstly, the extensive variety of products available today caters to widely diverse interests, rendering shopping a fascinating activity for many, irrespective of their preferences. From clothing to electronics and books, the choice is limitless. Furthermore, shopping has transformed into a social engagement. Friends often plan shopping ventures, taking pleasure in exploring different stores and discovering products that appeal to them, effectively converting shopping into an enjoyable social event.
From my standpoint, this trend of perceiving shopping as a leisure activity is positively inclined. It amplifies domestic consumption, ensuring substantial money circulation, which inadvertently promotes job creation, business growth and improved taxation, all contributing to the betterment of the society. Moreover, vibrant shopping economies attract tourists, significantly bolstering tourism. For instance, shopping is the primary motive that beckons Chinese tourists to Korea, bringing considerable foreign revenue into the country's economy, thus substantiating the positive repercussions of this development.
In conclusion, the wide-ranging product availability and the socialization aspect of shopping have elevated it to a preferred leisure activity among adults. This phenomenon, in my view, yields positive outcomes, given its role in boosting the economy and promoting tourism.
Word count: 265
Essay translated in Korean:
쇼핑은 전 세계의 여러 나라에서 청년들 사이에 레저 활동으로 주목받고 있습니다. 이 에세이에서는 이러한 인기의 뒷받침되는 이유를 탐구하고 그 결과에 대한 견해를 제공할 것입니다.
다양한 요인이 쇼핑을 즐겨 찾는 여가 활동으로 만듭니다. 먼저, 오늘날 사용 가능한 다양한 제품은 넓게 다양한 관심사를 충족시켜 많은 사람들이 쇼핑을 매력적인 활동으로 여기게 만듭니다. 옷에서부터 전자제품, 책까지 선택의 폭이 무한합니다. 또한 쇼핑은 사회적 이벤트로 변모하였습니다. 친구들은 종종 쇼핑을 계획하고, 다른 상점을 탐색하고 매력적인 제품을 찾아내는 즐거움을 누림으로써 쇼핑을 즐겁게 만듭니다.
제 시각에서 보면, 쇼핑을 레저 활동으로 인식하는 이 트렌드는 긍정적입니다. 이것은 국내소비를 확대시키고, 충분한 돈을 유통시키며, 일자리 창출, 사업 성장, 향상된 세금을 촉진하며, 모두 사회 발전에 기여합니다. 더욱이, 활발한 쇼핑 경제는 관광객을 유치, 관광을 크게 부평합니다. 예를 들어, 쇼핑은 중국 관광객을 한국에 불러들이는 주된 동기로, 상당한 외화를 한국의 경제에 대 금액으로 투입하여 이 발전의 긍정적인 영향을 입증합니다.
결론적으로, 다양한 제품의 제공과 쇼핑의 사회화 측면으로 인해 쇼핑이 성인들 사이에서 선호하는 레저 활동으로 인식되었습니다. 이 현상은 제 의견으로는 경제와 관광 촉진을 통해 긍정적인 결과를 얻습니다.
Good expressions:
1. extensive variety - 광범위한 다양성
2. transformed into a social engagement - 사회적 참여로 변모하다
3. amplies domestic consumption - 국내 소비를 확대시킨다
4. vibrant shopping economies - 활발한 쇼핑 경제
5. substantial money circulation - 상당한 돈의 유통
6. wide-ranging product availability - 광범위한 제품 가용성
7. bolstering tourism - 관광 활성화
제출한 라이팅
Going out to shop is currently amount the top pastimes for grown-ups in a lot of nations. In this essay, I will explain why this has happened and give my opinion about it.
The first reason modern, adult consumers like to shop is the huge variety of items available. These days, you can buy clothes, electronics, make up, jewelry, home items, books and many other products. This is extremely convenient, and it makes shopping an attractive activity for a lot of men and women, no matter how different their interests are. In addition, it is fun to go buy stuff with friends. Friends can go out as a group or a couple and find a mall or independent shops that suit their budget and purchase products that they like.
In my opinion, shopping as a form of entertainment is a positive development. It ensures that domestic consumption remains high, which means more money being spent, leading to a growth in jobs, businesses and taxes for society to benefit from. As well as this, a robust shopping economy encourages tourism. For example, the main reason Chinese tourists visit Korea is to go shopping. It is also popular with tourists from many other countries. This brings a lot of foreign money into the Korean economy.
To sum up, adults are shopping for fun because of the varied consumer merchandise available to them, and the fact that shopping has become a social activity. I think this is a good thing, due to the domestic economic benefits it brings and the increased numbers of tourism encouraged by world class malls.
The first reason modern, adult consumers like to shop is the huge variety of items available. These days, you can buy clothes, electronics, make up, jewelry, home items, books and many other products. This is extremely convenient, and it makes shopping an attractive activity for a lot of men and women, no matter how different their interests are. In addition, it is fun to go buy stuff with friends. Friends can go out as a group or a couple and find a mall or independent shops that suit their budget and purchase products that they like.
In my opinion, shopping as a form of entertainment is a positive development. It ensures that domestic consumption remains high, which means more money being spent, leading to a growth in jobs, businesses and taxes for society to benefit from. As well as this, a robust shopping economy encourages tourism. For example, the main reason Chinese tourists visit Korea is to go shopping. It is also popular with tourists from many other countries. This brings a lot of foreign money into the Korean economy.
To sum up, adults are shopping for fun because of the varied consumer merchandise available to them, and the fact that shopping has become a social activity. I think this is a good thing, due to the domestic economic benefits it brings and the increased numbers of tourism encouraged by world class malls.
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