AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Opinion
If people get a chance to choose between life without work and spending most of the time working, they would choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The student addresses the task, providing a clear position throughout the essay. He presents relevant main ideas but they need clearer explanations and more specific supporting details.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Ideas are logically organized and there is clear progression throughout part of the essay. However, there are some vague phrases and repetitions which make some points hard to understand.
Lexical Resource: 7
The student uses a good range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. However, there are instances of word repetition and some instances where word choice does not fit the context.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is variety in their structures. However, the misuse of articles and prepositions as well as punctuation and capitalisation errors are evident.
Overall: 6.5
Despite some grammatical errors and the slightly unclear expression of ideas, the student has shown a fair understanding of the topic and the ability to develop coherent arguments. More focus on the precise use of grammar and broader vocabulary would improve their score.
Task Response: 7
The student addresses the task, providing a clear position throughout the essay. He presents relevant main ideas but they need clearer explanations and more specific supporting details.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Ideas are logically organized and there is clear progression throughout part of the essay. However, there are some vague phrases and repetitions which make some points hard to understand.
Lexical Resource: 7
The student uses a good range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. However, there are instances of word repetition and some instances where word choice does not fit the context.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is variety in their structures. However, the misuse of articles and prepositions as well as punctuation and capitalisation errors are evident.
Overall: 6.5
Despite some grammatical errors and the slightly unclear expression of ideas, the student has shown a fair understanding of the topic and the ability to develop coherent arguments. More focus on the precise use of grammar and broader vocabulary would improve their score.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
If people get a chance to choose between life without work and spending most of the time working, they would choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Essay:
The debate on whether individuals would choose a life without work, if given the option, over a life filled with work is a contentious one. Some hold the view that an effortless life might seem appealing, but I firmly disagree. I believe that the majority of working people would not abandon their duties despite the struggles they encounter.
First off, it is indisputable that continuous work can lead to exhaustion, both mentally and physically, making quitting an attractive idea. However, the benefits of retaining employment far outstrip the alternatives. Crucially, being part of the workforce exposes individuals to an array of experiences, such as the chance to work overseas. This provides not just essential insights about other cultures, but also a global viewpoint beneficial in today's interconnected world.
On a larger scale, the significance of labour can't be overlooked when considering a nation's development. There's substantial evidence suggesting that countries with industrious workforce tend to progress faster. For instance, many developed nations owe their growth to a persistent work ethic. Thus, an unwavering commitment to work plays a central role in national advancement.
In conclusion, despite the allure of a life without work, it is an option most people are unlikely to choose. The intrinsic and extrinsic rewards of consistent work, along with its impact on national development, overshadow any perceived benefits of an idle life.
Word count: 254
Essay translated in Korean:
일하지 않는 삶을 선택하는 것이 일로 가득 찬 생활을 선택하는 것보다 더 나을 것이라는 논쟁은 분쟁의 여지가 많습니다. 일부 사람들은 노력하지 않는 삶이 매력적일 수 있다고 생각하지만, 저는 강력하게 반대합니다. 저는 대부분의 근로자들이 그들이 마주하는 고충에도 불구하고 자신의 의무를 버리지 않을 것이라고 믿습니다.
우선, 계속해서 일하는 것이 정신적, 신체적으로 고갈을 일으킬 수 있다는 것은 부인할 수 없습니다. 그러나 계속 일하면서 얻을 수 있는 이점은 그 어떤 대안보다 훨씬 우월합니다. 중요한 것은, 직장 생활이 개인에게 다양한 경험을 제공하며, 해외에서 일하는 기회와 같은 중요한 통찰력을 제공한다는 것입니다.
더 큰 범위에서 보면, 노동의 중요성은 국가 발전을 고려할 때 간과할 수 없습니다. 근면한 노동력을 가진 국가들이 더 빠르게 발전한다는 증거가 많습니다. 예를 들어, 많은 선진국들이 지속적인 노동 윤리에 크게 의존합니다. 따라서, 일에 대한 흔들리지 않는 헌신이 국가 발전의 핵심 요소입니다.
결론적으로, 일하지 않는 삶의 매력에도 불구하고, 대부분의 사람들이 선택하지 않을 것입니다. 일관된 노동의 본질적, 외적 보상, 그리고 그것이 국가 발전에 미치는 영향은 게으른 삶의 지각된 이점을 능가합니다.
Good expressions:
1. a contentious one - 분쟁의 여지가 많은
2. intrinsic and extrinsic rewards - 본질적, 외적 보상
3. a global viewpoint - 세계적인 시각
4. an unwavering commitment - 흔들리지 않는 헌신
5. perceived benefits - 지각된 이점
The debate on whether individuals would choose a life without work, if given the option, over a life filled with work is a contentious one. Some hold the view that an effortless life might seem appealing, but I firmly disagree. I believe that the majority of working people would not abandon their duties despite the struggles they encounter.
First off, it is indisputable that continuous work can lead to exhaustion, both mentally and physically, making quitting an attractive idea. However, the benefits of retaining employment far outstrip the alternatives. Crucially, being part of the workforce exposes individuals to an array of experiences, such as the chance to work overseas. This provides not just essential insights about other cultures, but also a global viewpoint beneficial in today's interconnected world.
On a larger scale, the significance of labour can't be overlooked when considering a nation's development. There's substantial evidence suggesting that countries with industrious workforce tend to progress faster. For instance, many developed nations owe their growth to a persistent work ethic. Thus, an unwavering commitment to work plays a central role in national advancement.
In conclusion, despite the allure of a life without work, it is an option most people are unlikely to choose. The intrinsic and extrinsic rewards of consistent work, along with its impact on national development, overshadow any perceived benefits of an idle life.
Word count: 254
Essay translated in Korean:
일하지 않는 삶을 선택하는 것이 일로 가득 찬 생활을 선택하는 것보다 더 나을 것이라는 논쟁은 분쟁의 여지가 많습니다. 일부 사람들은 노력하지 않는 삶이 매력적일 수 있다고 생각하지만, 저는 강력하게 반대합니다. 저는 대부분의 근로자들이 그들이 마주하는 고충에도 불구하고 자신의 의무를 버리지 않을 것이라고 믿습니다.
우선, 계속해서 일하는 것이 정신적, 신체적으로 고갈을 일으킬 수 있다는 것은 부인할 수 없습니다. 그러나 계속 일하면서 얻을 수 있는 이점은 그 어떤 대안보다 훨씬 우월합니다. 중요한 것은, 직장 생활이 개인에게 다양한 경험을 제공하며, 해외에서 일하는 기회와 같은 중요한 통찰력을 제공한다는 것입니다.
더 큰 범위에서 보면, 노동의 중요성은 국가 발전을 고려할 때 간과할 수 없습니다. 근면한 노동력을 가진 국가들이 더 빠르게 발전한다는 증거가 많습니다. 예를 들어, 많은 선진국들이 지속적인 노동 윤리에 크게 의존합니다. 따라서, 일에 대한 흔들리지 않는 헌신이 국가 발전의 핵심 요소입니다.
결론적으로, 일하지 않는 삶의 매력에도 불구하고, 대부분의 사람들이 선택하지 않을 것입니다. 일관된 노동의 본질적, 외적 보상, 그리고 그것이 국가 발전에 미치는 영향은 게으른 삶의 지각된 이점을 능가합니다.
Good expressions:
1. a contentious one - 분쟁의 여지가 많은
2. intrinsic and extrinsic rewards - 본질적, 외적 보상
3. a global viewpoint - 세계적인 시각
4. an unwavering commitment - 흔들리지 않는 헌신
5. perceived benefits - 지각된 이점
제출한 라이팅
The issue regarding the continuity of a job has been controversial for decades on account of the accumulated fatigue of employers. Thus, some people argue that most people choose to live without working in order to live effortlessly if they could opportunity to select options whether the exhibition of working or not. Conversely, there are numerous tangible benefits when they are working continuously. Hence, I strongly disagree that people who are workers prefer not to work if given choosing options about working.
First and foremost, It is unavoidable that a large pool of individuals who have jobs gain a vast amount of fatigue mental and physical, thus they are inclined to quit working as well. However, there are a variety range of merits workers can acquire if they continue to work. Firstly, they could obtain diverse experiences of working including working abroad. For a salient example, when employers go overseas due to the culprit of working, they could acquire insights across the world and also communicate with foreign people.
Moreover, governments cannot be developed owing to the deficiency of labor. In fact, a broad range of developed countries are remarkably advanced because workers strive to work. Therefore, there is no denying that those who are working should continue to work for the advancement of nations.
Last but not least, I definitely disagree that people would choose the option of not working. Furthermore, As I aforementioned, maintenance to work provides not only a variety range of experiences but also contributes to the development of countries.
First and foremost, It is unavoidable that a large pool of individuals who have jobs gain a vast amount of fatigue mental and physical, thus they are inclined to quit working as well. However, there are a variety range of merits workers can acquire if they continue to work. Firstly, they could obtain diverse experiences of working including working abroad. For a salient example, when employers go overseas due to the culprit of working, they could acquire insights across the world and also communicate with foreign people.
Moreover, governments cannot be developed owing to the deficiency of labor. In fact, a broad range of developed countries are remarkably advanced because workers strive to work. Therefore, there is no denying that those who are working should continue to work for the advancement of nations.
Last but not least, I definitely disagree that people would choose the option of not working. Furthermore, As I aforementioned, maintenance to work provides not only a variety range of experiences but also contributes to the development of countries.
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