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모범답안 5-8월호 출시
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  • Two parts

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: 7
    The writer has provided a clear response to the presented task by presenting a clear position which is well supported. Some more detail to rationalize the points would be a welcome addition.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 8
    This essay is logically structured with clear and easy to understand sentences. Transition signals and paragraphing are used effectively.

    Lexical Resource: 7
    The writer used a good range of vocabulary. However, there are a few instances where better word choice would make the essay more engaging.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
    The writer showed good command of a variety of grammatical structures. They made some mistakes, but they didn't impede overall understanding.

    Overall: 7.5
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development?
    Essay:
    In recent times, a notable increase has been observed in the number of individuals opting to travel abroad for their vacations. This essay will discuss potential reasons behind this trend and will articulate my views regarding its implications.

    One paramount reason encouraging people to travel internationally is the opportunity to immerse themselves in diverse cultures. The allure of experiencing foreign traditions firsthand, sampling exotic cuisines, and understanding distinct ways of life is indeed compelling. A recent study cited the rise in Chinese students traveling to Europe and the US primarily to explore and experience Western culture. Another major factor is language acquisition. Traveling abroad provides an advantageous, immersive environment which encourages the learning of foreign languages, often deemed difficult when confined to formal education.

    On the contrary, I am of the opinion that the escalating trend of overseas travel poses severe repercussions for local economies. This surge can destabilize domestic tourism sectors, leading to significant job losses. For instance, the Korean tourism industry has been facing a downturn due to the increasing popularity of international travel amongst Korean individuals. Consequently, many within the tourism sector are losing their livelihood or compelled to seek employment in other industries.

    In conclusion, while the desire to immerse in foreign cultures or learn languages fuels a growing trend of international travel, it is essential to weigh the potential disadvantages, such as its negative impact on domestic economies.

    Word count: 259

    Essay translated in Korean:
    최근에는 휴가를 위해 해외 여행을 선택하는 사람의 수가 눈에 띄게 증가하고 있다. 이 에세이에서는 이런 경향의 이유를 논의하고 그 결과에 대한 나의 견해를 제시할 것이다.

    외국 문화를 체험하는 기회가 해외 여행을 장려하는 주요한 이유 중 하나다. 외국 전통을 직접 체험하고, 이국적인 요리를 맛보며, 다양한 생활 방식을 이해하려는 욕구는 분명 매력적이다. 최근의 한 연구는 주로 서양 문화를 탐론하고 경험하려는 중국 학생들의 해외 여행 증가를 보고한다. 또 다른 주요 요소는 언어습득이다. 해외여행은 공식 교육에 구속되어 외국어를 배우는 것이 어려운 사람들에게 유리한 환경을 제공하며 자연스럽게 외국어를 사용하도록 장려한다.

    반면에, 해외여행의 증가 추세는 지역 경제에 대한 심각한 불이익을 초래한다는 의견이다. 이런 급증은 국내 관광 분야를 불안정하게 만들어 직장을 잃는 사람이 심히 많아진다. 예를 들어, 국내 여행지의 인기가 상승함에 따라 한국의 관광업에 치명적인 타격을 입었다. 결국, 관광 부문의 많은 사람들이 생활을 잃거나 다른 산업의 고용을 찾아야 한다.

    결론적으로, 외국 문화에 몸을 던지거나 언어를 배우려는 욕구가 해외 여행의 증가 추세를 부양하고 있지만, 국내 경제에 미치는 부정적인 영향과 같은 잠재적인 불이익을 따져 보는 것이 중요하다.

    Good expressions:
    1. immerse themselves in diverse cultures - 다양한 문화에 몸을 던지다
    2. desirable the allure of experiencing - 외국전통을 체험하는 매력을 느낄수있다
    3. language acquisition - 언어습득
    4. destabilize domestic tourism sectors - 국내 관광 분야를 불안하게 만들다
    5. severe repercussions for local economies - 지역 경제에 대한 심각한 불이익.
    제출한 라이팅
    It is true that a growing number of men and women prefer to go abroad when they choose to go traveling. In this essay, I will explain the cause of this situation and give my opinion.

    The main reason of this situation is that people want to experience various cultures in other nations. For example, according to recent survey, Chinese undergraduates go Europe or USA to experience western culture including food and various styles. In addition, young people go travel to other countries to learn languages. People think that being a bilingual or multilingual could open doors in the job markets, but learning other languages is really difficult for many people because being exposed to other languages for long time is not easy. Enjoying vacation in other countries provides extremely great environment for people and encourages them to speak foreign languages naturally.

    However, I firmly disagree that this situation is a positive development. To begin with, going a journey abroad could affect domestic economy in a negative way. As traveling other countries becomes more common, tourism industry would be fail and tons of employees who work in the field of tourism would lose their jobs. For example, Korea tourism industry is suffering a hard time because of trend to go other nations. As the majority of Korean people go traveling Southeast Asia and Europe, people who worked as a hotel receptionist or a travel manager lose their jobs or move their workplaces into other fields.

    To sum up, a lot of citizens go abroad to enjoy different cultures or learn other languages. This change has a serious problem, since it could affect domestic economy in a negative way.

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