AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Discussion
Some people believe that learning a second language should be required in school, just like science or mathematics. Others feel that it should be an optional course. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7.5]
The essay clearly states and reasons both viewpoints and presents a relevant personal position in addition to an introduction and conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7.0]
The message is clear and ideas are logically arranged with a clear progression throughout. The essay could have been better with more cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
Lexical Resource: [7.5]
The essay shows good use of a range of vocabulary for precision and flexibility.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6.5]
There are sufficient range of structures. However, a small number of grammatical errors can be found, such as incorrect verb tense, prepositions, and some word order.
Overall: [7.0]
Task Response: [7.5]
The essay clearly states and reasons both viewpoints and presents a relevant personal position in addition to an introduction and conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7.0]
The message is clear and ideas are logically arranged with a clear progression throughout. The essay could have been better with more cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
Lexical Resource: [7.5]
The essay shows good use of a range of vocabulary for precision and flexibility.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6.5]
There are sufficient range of structures. However, a small number of grammatical errors can be found, such as incorrect verb tense, prepositions, and some word order.
Overall: [7.0]
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people believe that learning a second language should be required in school, just like science or mathematics. Others feel that it should be an optional course.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Essay:
The contention of whether second language learning should be a requisite part of the school curriculum or an optional choice remains a debated topic. This essay will examine both perspectives and express my viewpoint.
The advocates for mandatory language learning underline the global and multicultural nature of today's world, and argue that bilingual individuals have a competitive edge. This edge stems from potential career opportunities with businesses and governments seeking employees who can facilitate international collaborations. Beyond career benefits, they highlight that language learning can also foster cognitive development. Studies have found that it activates previously untapped areas of the brain, thereby enhancing problem-solving, concentration, and creative abilities.
Dissenters, however, emphasize the substantial effort needed to learn a new language and the potential drawbacks it may have on students. They posit that students may lose interest and risk their performance in other subjects, which can even discourage future language learning. Furthermore, they argue that the intense focus on a second language may inhibit the students' proficiency in their mother tongue, especially in young children leading to cultural and linguistic confusion.
In conclusion, while the arguments against mandatory language learning cannot be dismissed, the advantages, in my opinion, far outweigh the potential challenges. Therefore, second language learning should be a compulsory part of the curriculum.
Word count: 230
Essay translated in Korean:
학교 수업일정에 두 번째 언어 학습을 필수 항목으로 해야 할지 선택적으로 해야 할지에 대한 분쟁은 여전히 논란의 여지가 있는 주제입니다. 이 에세이에서는 양측의 견해를 조사하고 제 견해를 표현하겠습니다.
두 번째 언어 학습을 의무화해야 한다는 주장자들은 오늘날의 글로벌하고 다문화적인 세계를 중심으로 다문화 실력이 있는 사람들이 경쟁력을 가지고 있다고 주장합니다. 이런 경쟁력은 기업과 정부가 국제 협력을 촉진할 수 있는 직원들을 찾는 것에서 가능한 경력 기회에서 비롯됩니다. 경력 혜택 이상으로, 그들은 언어 학습이 인지 발달도 촉진할 수 있다고 강조합니다. 연구결과 새로운 언어를 배우면 뇌의 이전에 활용되지 않은 영역을 활성화시켜 문제 해결, 집중력, 창의적 능력을 강화한다는 것을 발견했습니다.
그러나 비판자들은 새로운 언어를 배우는 데 필요한 상당한 노력과 학생들에게 미칠 수 있는 잠재적인 결함을 강조합니다. 그들은 학생들이 관심을 잃고 다른 과목에서의 성적을 위태롭게 할 수 있으며, 이로 인해 미래의 언어 학습을 저해할 수 있다고 주장합니다. 또한, 두 번째 언어에 대한 강한 집중이 특히 어린 아이들의 모국어 능력을 저해할 수 있으며 문화적이고 언어적인 혼란을 초래할 수 있다고 주장합니다.
결론적으로, 필수 언어 학습에 대한 반대 주장이 무시될 수 없지만, 제 견해로는 잠재적인 도전에 비하여 이점이 훨씬 더 뛰어나다고 본다. 따라서, 두 번째 언어 학습은 학업 일정의 필수 부분이어야 합니다.
Good expressions:
1. The contention of whether second language learning should be a requisite part of the school curriculum or an optional choice remains a debated topic - 두 번째 언어 학습을 학교 과정의 필수 부분으로 해야 할지 선택적으로 해야 할지에 대한 분쟁은 여전히 논란의 여지가 있는 주제입니다.
2. advocates for mandatory language learning - 필수 언어 학습을 지지하는 사람들
3. cognitive development - 인지 발달
4. Dissenters, however, emphasize the substantial effort needed to learn a new language - 그러나 비난자들은 새로운 언어를 배우는 데 필요한 상당한 노력을 강조합니다.
5. the advantages, in my opinion, far outweigh the potential challenges - 제 견해로는 잠재적인 도전에 비하여 이점이 훨씬 더 뛰어나다고 생각합니다.
The contention of whether second language learning should be a requisite part of the school curriculum or an optional choice remains a debated topic. This essay will examine both perspectives and express my viewpoint.
The advocates for mandatory language learning underline the global and multicultural nature of today's world, and argue that bilingual individuals have a competitive edge. This edge stems from potential career opportunities with businesses and governments seeking employees who can facilitate international collaborations. Beyond career benefits, they highlight that language learning can also foster cognitive development. Studies have found that it activates previously untapped areas of the brain, thereby enhancing problem-solving, concentration, and creative abilities.
Dissenters, however, emphasize the substantial effort needed to learn a new language and the potential drawbacks it may have on students. They posit that students may lose interest and risk their performance in other subjects, which can even discourage future language learning. Furthermore, they argue that the intense focus on a second language may inhibit the students' proficiency in their mother tongue, especially in young children leading to cultural and linguistic confusion.
In conclusion, while the arguments against mandatory language learning cannot be dismissed, the advantages, in my opinion, far outweigh the potential challenges. Therefore, second language learning should be a compulsory part of the curriculum.
Word count: 230
Essay translated in Korean:
학교 수업일정에 두 번째 언어 학습을 필수 항목으로 해야 할지 선택적으로 해야 할지에 대한 분쟁은 여전히 논란의 여지가 있는 주제입니다. 이 에세이에서는 양측의 견해를 조사하고 제 견해를 표현하겠습니다.
두 번째 언어 학습을 의무화해야 한다는 주장자들은 오늘날의 글로벌하고 다문화적인 세계를 중심으로 다문화 실력이 있는 사람들이 경쟁력을 가지고 있다고 주장합니다. 이런 경쟁력은 기업과 정부가 국제 협력을 촉진할 수 있는 직원들을 찾는 것에서 가능한 경력 기회에서 비롯됩니다. 경력 혜택 이상으로, 그들은 언어 학습이 인지 발달도 촉진할 수 있다고 강조합니다. 연구결과 새로운 언어를 배우면 뇌의 이전에 활용되지 않은 영역을 활성화시켜 문제 해결, 집중력, 창의적 능력을 강화한다는 것을 발견했습니다.
그러나 비판자들은 새로운 언어를 배우는 데 필요한 상당한 노력과 학생들에게 미칠 수 있는 잠재적인 결함을 강조합니다. 그들은 학생들이 관심을 잃고 다른 과목에서의 성적을 위태롭게 할 수 있으며, 이로 인해 미래의 언어 학습을 저해할 수 있다고 주장합니다. 또한, 두 번째 언어에 대한 강한 집중이 특히 어린 아이들의 모국어 능력을 저해할 수 있으며 문화적이고 언어적인 혼란을 초래할 수 있다고 주장합니다.
결론적으로, 필수 언어 학습에 대한 반대 주장이 무시될 수 없지만, 제 견해로는 잠재적인 도전에 비하여 이점이 훨씬 더 뛰어나다고 본다. 따라서, 두 번째 언어 학습은 학업 일정의 필수 부분이어야 합니다.
Good expressions:
1. The contention of whether second language learning should be a requisite part of the school curriculum or an optional choice remains a debated topic - 두 번째 언어 학습을 학교 과정의 필수 부분으로 해야 할지 선택적으로 해야 할지에 대한 분쟁은 여전히 논란의 여지가 있는 주제입니다.
2. advocates for mandatory language learning - 필수 언어 학습을 지지하는 사람들
3. cognitive development - 인지 발달
4. Dissenters, however, emphasize the substantial effort needed to learn a new language - 그러나 비난자들은 새로운 언어를 배우는 데 필요한 상당한 노력을 강조합니다.
5. the advantages, in my opinion, far outweigh the potential challenges - 제 견해로는 잠재적인 도전에 비하여 이점이 훨씬 더 뛰어나다고 생각합니다.
제출한 라이팅
Some people contend that studying other languages needs to be mandatory in school as it has a positive influence on various aspects, while others believe that it could induce negative effects so that it should depend on students’ will whether they choose to learn or not. In this essay, I will address two opposed views and reason out a conclusion.
There are several reasons that some people require students to attend second language classes.
First, as it is a global and multicultural world these days, taking a second language class would be helpful to the students in the long run. In the modern world, it its noticeable that bilingual people are more competitive than those who are monolingual as businesses and governments want them to aid to promote global projects. As well as this, learning another language could bring a myriad of opportunities to the students so that they can develop themselves eventually.
In addition to this, learning a new language helps to develop one’s brain. Some researches say when people speak in other languages, a new brain part is activative. This can result in students to improve their problem-solving, concentrating, and creating skills.
In spite of the merits mentions above, other people are pessimistic regarding this issue.
To start with, learning a new language requires a monumental effort. Some students may lost their interest in it totally and end up to give it up. That could affect to study their other academic subjects as well. On top of that, this remains as a bad memory, so it could discourage them to study other languagues in the future even though they want to do it by themsevles.
As well as this, studying a new language would hinder learning their mother tongue. Especially, the younger the students are, the more it affects to them. As a result, children are confused to what language they need to accept.
In conclusion, it can be observed that there are two contradicting viewpoints, which are both, to a certain degree, convincing. In my opinion, the merits of requiring students to learn other language far outweigh its any potential negative repercussions, owing to the reasons discribed above.
There are several reasons that some people require students to attend second language classes.
First, as it is a global and multicultural world these days, taking a second language class would be helpful to the students in the long run. In the modern world, it its noticeable that bilingual people are more competitive than those who are monolingual as businesses and governments want them to aid to promote global projects. As well as this, learning another language could bring a myriad of opportunities to the students so that they can develop themselves eventually.
In addition to this, learning a new language helps to develop one’s brain. Some researches say when people speak in other languages, a new brain part is activative. This can result in students to improve their problem-solving, concentrating, and creating skills.
In spite of the merits mentions above, other people are pessimistic regarding this issue.
To start with, learning a new language requires a monumental effort. Some students may lost their interest in it totally and end up to give it up. That could affect to study their other academic subjects as well. On top of that, this remains as a bad memory, so it could discourage them to study other languagues in the future even though they want to do it by themsevles.
As well as this, studying a new language would hinder learning their mother tongue. Especially, the younger the students are, the more it affects to them. As a result, children are confused to what language they need to accept.
In conclusion, it can be observed that there are two contradicting viewpoints, which are both, to a certain degree, convincing. In my opinion, the merits of requiring students to learn other language far outweigh its any potential negative repercussions, owing to the reasons discribed above.
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