AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Two parts
Countries should produce enough food for their own population and import as little as possible. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6
The writer has addressed the question, stated their opinion clearly (they disagree with the statement), and provided reasons and examples. However, the development of the ideas isn't consistently clear and logical.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6.5
Ideas are organised and there's an obvious progression throughout the response, but more sophisticated use of cohesive devices and better paragraphing could improve the score.
Lexical Resource: 6
The writer has demonstrated a wide enough variety of vocabulary to discuss the topic but there are some odd phrases like 'bake a beard' instead of 'bake a bread'. Avoiding inappropriate or inexact words would help to move from 'a mix of simple and complex sentence forms' to 'predominantly complex sentence forms'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 5.5
While there are several accurate sentences, there are nevertheless enough errors ('...the downsides of this independence in producing food are significantly more than import from other countries.', '...countries are lack of them in these days.', 'Iran face a problem in suppling...') to prevent a score of 6.
Overall: 6
This essay satisfies the task, is generally well-organised, has a decent range of vocabulary, and a mix of simple and complex grammatical structures but there's room for improvements in all of these areas. Always remember to proofread and check whether sentences make sense and grammar is correct.
Task Response: 6
The writer has addressed the question, stated their opinion clearly (they disagree with the statement), and provided reasons and examples. However, the development of the ideas isn't consistently clear and logical.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6.5
Ideas are organised and there's an obvious progression throughout the response, but more sophisticated use of cohesive devices and better paragraphing could improve the score.
Lexical Resource: 6
The writer has demonstrated a wide enough variety of vocabulary to discuss the topic but there are some odd phrases like 'bake a beard' instead of 'bake a bread'. Avoiding inappropriate or inexact words would help to move from 'a mix of simple and complex sentence forms' to 'predominantly complex sentence forms'.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 5.5
While there are several accurate sentences, there are nevertheless enough errors ('...the downsides of this independence in producing food are significantly more than import from other countries.', '...countries are lack of them in these days.', 'Iran face a problem in suppling...') to prevent a score of 6.
Overall: 6
This essay satisfies the task, is generally well-organised, has a decent range of vocabulary, and a mix of simple and complex grammatical structures but there's room for improvements in all of these areas. Always remember to proofread and check whether sentences make sense and grammar is correct.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Countries should produce enough food for their own population and import as little as possible. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Essay:
There is a divided opinion regarding the notion that nations should strive to satisfy their food needs domestically, minimizing foreign imports. I disagree with this perspective for two main reasons, environmental implications and realistic constraints.
Commencing with the first reason, it is crucial to note that pushing for domestic food production might pose environmental risks. In certain cases, countries may resort to deforestation, jeopardizing biodiversity, to facilitate agriculture. For instance, many parts of UAE, a desert country, are not naturally suited for farming. Attempting to cultivate certain crops like rice, requiring heavy water usage, can be economically and environmentally unsustainable. Hence, for such nations, food import is the more ecological approach.
Further, the surging global population growth rates render the notion of self-sustenance in food production impractical to achieve in many countries. These nations encounter challenges to feed their growing populace, due to limited resources such as water and arable land. Using Iran as an example, it currently experiences difficulties in procuring sufficient water for agricultural purposes. Being self-reliant under such circumstances may jeopardize not only their food security but also their natural resources.
In summary, while self-sustenance in food production is admirable, it is unrealistic and potentially harmful in certain circumstances. Therefore, for countries facing resource limitations or environmental issues, importing food could be the prudent course.
Word count: 255
Essay translated in Korean:
일부 국가는 국내에서 생산하여 식품 필요량을 충족하고, 외국에서의 수입을 최소화해야 한다는 견해가 있습니다. 저는 이러한 관점에 동의하지 않는데, 그 이유는 환경적 영향과 현실적 제약 때문입니다.
먼저 환경적인 위험을 살펴보면, 국내에서 식품을 생산하기 위한 노력은 환경 위험을 초래할 수 있습니다. 일부 국가는 농업을 촉진하기 위해 삼림 벌채를 택할 수 있습니다. 예를 들어 황사와 같은 많은 부분의 UAE와 같은 국가에서는 물을 많이 필요로 하는 쌀과 같은 작물을 재배하는 것이 경제적이고 환경적으로 변카하다. 따라서 이런 국가들에게는 식품 수입이 더 친환경적인 접근방법이 될 수 있습니다.
Global Expressions:
1. Divided opinion - 나뉘어진 의견
2. Environmental implications - 환경적 영향
3. Realistic constraints - 현실적인 제약
5. Jeopardizing biodiversity - 생물다양성을 위협
6. Economically and environmentally unsustainable - 경제적이고 환경적으로 변동무쌍하다
7. Surging global population growth rates - 급증하는 전세계 인구 증가율
8. Self-sustenance - 자립
9. Potentially harmful- 잠재적으로 유해한
10. Prudent course - 신중한 과정
There is a divided opinion regarding the notion that nations should strive to satisfy their food needs domestically, minimizing foreign imports. I disagree with this perspective for two main reasons, environmental implications and realistic constraints.
Commencing with the first reason, it is crucial to note that pushing for domestic food production might pose environmental risks. In certain cases, countries may resort to deforestation, jeopardizing biodiversity, to facilitate agriculture. For instance, many parts of UAE, a desert country, are not naturally suited for farming. Attempting to cultivate certain crops like rice, requiring heavy water usage, can be economically and environmentally unsustainable. Hence, for such nations, food import is the more ecological approach.
Further, the surging global population growth rates render the notion of self-sustenance in food production impractical to achieve in many countries. These nations encounter challenges to feed their growing populace, due to limited resources such as water and arable land. Using Iran as an example, it currently experiences difficulties in procuring sufficient water for agricultural purposes. Being self-reliant under such circumstances may jeopardize not only their food security but also their natural resources.
In summary, while self-sustenance in food production is admirable, it is unrealistic and potentially harmful in certain circumstances. Therefore, for countries facing resource limitations or environmental issues, importing food could be the prudent course.
Word count: 255
Essay translated in Korean:
일부 국가는 국내에서 생산하여 식품 필요량을 충족하고, 외국에서의 수입을 최소화해야 한다는 견해가 있습니다. 저는 이러한 관점에 동의하지 않는데, 그 이유는 환경적 영향과 현실적 제약 때문입니다.
먼저 환경적인 위험을 살펴보면, 국내에서 식품을 생산하기 위한 노력은 환경 위험을 초래할 수 있습니다. 일부 국가는 농업을 촉진하기 위해 삼림 벌채를 택할 수 있습니다. 예를 들어 황사와 같은 많은 부분의 UAE와 같은 국가에서는 물을 많이 필요로 하는 쌀과 같은 작물을 재배하는 것이 경제적이고 환경적으로 변카하다. 따라서 이런 국가들에게는 식품 수입이 더 친환경적인 접근방법이 될 수 있습니다.
Global Expressions:
1. Divided opinion - 나뉘어진 의견
2. Environmental implications - 환경적 영향
3. Realistic constraints - 현실적인 제약
5. Jeopardizing biodiversity - 생물다양성을 위협
6. Economically and environmentally unsustainable - 경제적이고 환경적으로 변동무쌍하다
7. Surging global population growth rates - 급증하는 전세계 인구 증가율
8. Self-sustenance - 자립
9. Potentially harmful- 잠재적으로 유해한
10. Prudent course - 신중한 과정
제출한 라이팅
Some individuals are of the belief that the proper amount of food ought to provide by governments in their own country for their people and they should bring food from abroad as little as they can. I think this idea is unjustifiable and I disagree with it.
To begin with, providing food for the whole of country need highly many lands and some countries should demolish their forests or cut down the trees to produce more food and grow their agricultures, so in my idea the downsides of this independence in producing food are significantly more than import from other countries. to explain that countries should focus on their field who naturally make profit for them and exchange them to nations having more lands and foods. For example, Iran have a lot of lands for rice, especially in the north which is raining most of the year and farmer have enough water, however, in the another country like The United Arab Emirate, there is no lands for agriculture. If they want to grow rice they waste a large amount of water and it will be expensive, therefore it is better to import rice from another country like Iran.
Moreover, the population of some countries are growing fast and governments are not able to supply enough food for the whole people as their resources are limited. Producing food require significant energy and natural resources which some countries are lack of them in these days. For instance, Iran face a problem in suppling water for agriculture in these days and if they want to be independent in it, they put the nature and the environment in serious danger. As a result, nowadays Iran import a large amount of powder to bake a beard.
In conclusion, I believed that producing the whole food that population need has detrimental effects because of the above-mentioned reasons, therefore countries can import food as much as they need.
To begin with, providing food for the whole of country need highly many lands and some countries should demolish their forests or cut down the trees to produce more food and grow their agricultures, so in my idea the downsides of this independence in producing food are significantly more than import from other countries. to explain that countries should focus on their field who naturally make profit for them and exchange them to nations having more lands and foods. For example, Iran have a lot of lands for rice, especially in the north which is raining most of the year and farmer have enough water, however, in the another country like The United Arab Emirate, there is no lands for agriculture. If they want to grow rice they waste a large amount of water and it will be expensive, therefore it is better to import rice from another country like Iran.
Moreover, the population of some countries are growing fast and governments are not able to supply enough food for the whole people as their resources are limited. Producing food require significant energy and natural resources which some countries are lack of them in these days. For instance, Iran face a problem in suppling water for agriculture in these days and if they want to be independent in it, they put the nature and the environment in serious danger. As a result, nowadays Iran import a large amount of powder to bake a beard.
In conclusion, I believed that producing the whole food that population need has detrimental effects because of the above-mentioned reasons, therefore countries can import food as much as they need.
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