AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Discussion
Some people say that the extended family is not as important now as it once was. Others think that its worth as not changed because people always need help from their family members. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 8
The essay accurately addresses the task, discussing both views presented in the question. The writer also provides relevant examples and gives a clear and balanced personal opinion in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The information is organized logically, and it's easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning from one point to another. However, there could be a better use of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect points within and between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: 8
There is a good range of vocabulary used, and word choice is generally accurate and appropriate. The writer is able to use some less common lexical items which attributable to clear meaning.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
There is a variety of complex structures, and these are mostly used correctly. Any mistakes do not affect the clarity of the arguments. The writer demonstrates an ability to use a mixture of simple and complex sentence forms.
Overall: 7.75
The essay meets most requirements of the task and demonstrates a good control of language and logical organization of ideas. A few improvements in coherence and cohesion would raise the score.
Task Response: 8
The essay accurately addresses the task, discussing both views presented in the question. The writer also provides relevant examples and gives a clear and balanced personal opinion in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The information is organized logically, and it's easy to follow the writer's line of reasoning from one point to another. However, there could be a better use of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect points within and between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource: 8
There is a good range of vocabulary used, and word choice is generally accurate and appropriate. The writer is able to use some less common lexical items which attributable to clear meaning.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
There is a variety of complex structures, and these are mostly used correctly. Any mistakes do not affect the clarity of the arguments. The writer demonstrates an ability to use a mixture of simple and complex sentence forms.
Overall: 7.75
The essay meets most requirements of the task and demonstrates a good control of language and logical organization of ideas. A few improvements in coherence and cohesion would raise the score.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people say that the extended family is not as important now as it once was. Others think that its worth as not changed because people always need help from their family members. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Essay:
Public consensus suggests a pertinent shift in the relevance of the extended family as we navigate through the societal evolution in recent times. Notably, there are two prominent perspectives - one proposing the unwavering importance of the extended family and the other arguing a noticeable decline due to changes in lifestyle and priorities.
In one viewpoint, the extended family is regarded as an indispensable support system, particularly in households where both parents are engaged in professional commitments. Grandparents often step in as secondary caregivers, making their role invaluable, thus reinforcing the continued importance of larger family connections. Statistics from Korea reflect this sentiment where grandparents' active involvement in childcare has seen a twofold increase in the last ten years, emphasizing the necessity for extended family.
Conversely, a counter view suggests that contemporary young adults are showing a tendency to prioritize personal growth and aspirations over family ties. This is visible in the growing trend of young individuals moving away from their hometowns for educational and career opportunities, leading to physically distant relationships with their extended family. A survey of Chinese university students signaled a wave of post-graduation international migration, despite the possible severed ties with the family, demonstrating a clear shift in attitude towards the relevance of extended families.
In conclusion, the importance of extended family seems to be both context-dependent and generational, with its current role appearing to have been compartmentalized.
Word count: 256
Essay translated in Korean:
대중의 의견은 최근 사회의 진화를 통해 큰 가족의 적절성에 관해 중요한 변화를 보고 있습니다. 특히, 확장된 가족의 변하지 않는 중요성을 제안하는 한 가지 견해와 생활 스타일과 우선 순위의 변화로 인해 눈에 띄는 하락을 주장하는 다른 견해가 두드러지게 나타납니다.
Good expressions:
1. Pertinent shift - 중요한 변화
2. Navigate through the societal evolution - 사회의 진화를 통해 나아가다
3. Unwavering importance - 변하지 않는 중요성
4. Indispensable support system - 필수적인 지원 시스템
5. Physically distant relationships - 물리적으로 떨어진 관계
6. Compartmentalized - 구획화된
Public consensus suggests a pertinent shift in the relevance of the extended family as we navigate through the societal evolution in recent times. Notably, there are two prominent perspectives - one proposing the unwavering importance of the extended family and the other arguing a noticeable decline due to changes in lifestyle and priorities.
In one viewpoint, the extended family is regarded as an indispensable support system, particularly in households where both parents are engaged in professional commitments. Grandparents often step in as secondary caregivers, making their role invaluable, thus reinforcing the continued importance of larger family connections. Statistics from Korea reflect this sentiment where grandparents' active involvement in childcare has seen a twofold increase in the last ten years, emphasizing the necessity for extended family.
Conversely, a counter view suggests that contemporary young adults are showing a tendency to prioritize personal growth and aspirations over family ties. This is visible in the growing trend of young individuals moving away from their hometowns for educational and career opportunities, leading to physically distant relationships with their extended family. A survey of Chinese university students signaled a wave of post-graduation international migration, despite the possible severed ties with the family, demonstrating a clear shift in attitude towards the relevance of extended families.
In conclusion, the importance of extended family seems to be both context-dependent and generational, with its current role appearing to have been compartmentalized.
Word count: 256
Essay translated in Korean:
대중의 의견은 최근 사회의 진화를 통해 큰 가족의 적절성에 관해 중요한 변화를 보고 있습니다. 특히, 확장된 가족의 변하지 않는 중요성을 제안하는 한 가지 견해와 생활 스타일과 우선 순위의 변화로 인해 눈에 띄는 하락을 주장하는 다른 견해가 두드러지게 나타납니다.
Good expressions:
1. Pertinent shift - 중요한 변화
2. Navigate through the societal evolution - 사회의 진화를 통해 나아가다
3. Unwavering importance - 변하지 않는 중요성
4. Indispensable support system - 필수적인 지원 시스템
5. Physically distant relationships - 물리적으로 떨어진 관계
6. Compartmentalized - 구획화된
제출한 라이팅
It is a common belief that the extended family remains as valuable as ever. However, there is a more persuasive argument that the importance of extended family members has diminished greatly because of a change in how family life is perceived.
On the one hand, the rising incidence of grandparents helping to raise their grandchildren shows the contemporary significance of the extended family. With both parents working outside the home, there is now a need for a third party to care for the children during the day. Grandparents often step in to fill this role. In fact, research in Korea shows that grandparents are now twice as likely as they were a decade ago to play a primary role in raising their grandchildren. This suggests that the extended family still plays a significant part in people's lives.
Nevertheless, the extended family is less important for younger generations who often prioritize their education and career over family life. This is evident in the fact that many young people nowadays choose to leave their hometowns permanently to seek education or career opportunities elsewhere. They, therefore, often live in different cities or countries from their families. Thus, the extended family is much less prominent in their lives. For example, many Chinese college students express a desire to emigrate after graduation, even if it means that they would almost never see their families. Although extended families were once very important in Chinese culture, it seems that the extended family is considered much less important now.
To sum up, while it is apparent that the extended family remains valuable in many ways, it is undeniable that its role in people's lives has shrunk.
On the one hand, the rising incidence of grandparents helping to raise their grandchildren shows the contemporary significance of the extended family. With both parents working outside the home, there is now a need for a third party to care for the children during the day. Grandparents often step in to fill this role. In fact, research in Korea shows that grandparents are now twice as likely as they were a decade ago to play a primary role in raising their grandchildren. This suggests that the extended family still plays a significant part in people's lives.
Nevertheless, the extended family is less important for younger generations who often prioritize their education and career over family life. This is evident in the fact that many young people nowadays choose to leave their hometowns permanently to seek education or career opportunities elsewhere. They, therefore, often live in different cities or countries from their families. Thus, the extended family is much less prominent in their lives. For example, many Chinese college students express a desire to emigrate after graduation, even if it means that they would almost never see their families. Although extended families were once very important in Chinese culture, it seems that the extended family is considered much less important now.
To sum up, while it is apparent that the extended family remains valuable in many ways, it is undeniable that its role in people's lives has shrunk.
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