AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Two parts
According to the recent survey advertisements much less attract customers than the past. what are the reasons. Do you think this is positive or negative?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [6]
The student put forth a decent argument regarding the subject and provided a few valid reasons. However, for a higher score, it would be appreciated if specific examples were cited or if a more detailed explanation was given.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs and logical progress. The introduction, main argument, and conclusion are clear. However, the connections between sentences could be stronger and the flow of ideas could be improved
Lexical Resource: [6]
The student has a reasonable range of vocabulary and generally uses it accurately. However, a wider variety of phrases and more complex language could have been used for a higher score.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [5]
The student demonstrates a fairly good control of grammar, but the essay contains a number of minor errors such as the wrong usage of determiners, prepositions, verb tenses, and even the wrong choice of words at times.
Overall: [6]
The essay provides a clear argument and has a logical structure, but to improve the score, the student should work on expanding vocabulary usage, grammar, and improving flow between sentences and ideas.
Task Response: [6]
The student put forth a decent argument regarding the subject and provided a few valid reasons. However, for a higher score, it would be appreciated if specific examples were cited or if a more detailed explanation was given.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs and logical progress. The introduction, main argument, and conclusion are clear. However, the connections between sentences could be stronger and the flow of ideas could be improved
Lexical Resource: [6]
The student has a reasonable range of vocabulary and generally uses it accurately. However, a wider variety of phrases and more complex language could have been used for a higher score.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [5]
The student demonstrates a fairly good control of grammar, but the essay contains a number of minor errors such as the wrong usage of determiners, prepositions, verb tenses, and even the wrong choice of words at times.
Overall: [6]
The essay provides a clear argument and has a logical structure, but to improve the score, the student should work on expanding vocabulary usage, grammar, and improving flow between sentences and ideas.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
According to the recent survey advertisements much less attract customers than the past.
what are the reasons. Do you think this is positive or negative?
Essay:
A recent survey suggests that consumers nowadays are less influenced by advertisements than in the past. I see this shift in consumer behaviour as a positive change within society.
To begin with, the inundation of advertisements in our society could be a reason behind this changed behaviour. Ads, in various forms and on multiple platforms, have become so ubiquitous that people have started to ignore them. For instance, cities are replete with billboards and banners on buses and subway stations, causing the audience to become numb to their messages. Thus, the overabundance of these advertisements is leading to their diminished influence.
Additionally, a disillusionment has set in among customers due to the exaggerated claims made by companies in their advertisements. Consumers, after experiencing a number of these overestimated products, have learnt to view advertisements with a grain of skepticism. In essence, people have realised that the primary aim of companies is not to provide consumers with quality products, but to outcompete their rivals and increase their profits.
This shift can be seen as beneficial, as it forces companies to deliver genuine and transparent information in their ads. It can also potentially lead to creative and meaningful advertisements that add value to the customers' experience, rather than just inundating them with marketing spiels.
In conclusion, the reduced consumer interest in advertisements, as revealed by the recent survey, is a positive development that could lead to less misleading and more beneficial ads in the future.
Word count: 258
Essay translated in Korean:
최근의 조사에 따르면 소비자들은 과거에 비해 광고에 덜 영향을 받는다고 합니다. 이런 소비자 행동의 변화를 저는 사회 내에서 긍정적인 변화로 보고 있습니다.
첫 번째로, 우리 사회에서 광고의 홍수는 이런 변화된 행동의 이유가 될 수 있습니다. 여러 형태, 여러 플랫폼의 광고가 너무나도 많아져 사람들은 광고를 무시하기 시작했습니다. 예를 들어, 버스나 지하철 역에 배너와 빌보드로 도시가 가득 차있어, 관객은 그 메시지에 무감각해지고 있습니다. 따라서 이런 광고의 과다함이 그 영향력을 줄이고 있는 것입니다.
또한, 회사들이 광고에서 과장된 주장을 하는 것으로 인해 고객들 사이에 실망감이 생겨 나왔습니다. 이런 과장된 제품을 여러 번 경험한 후에 소비자들은 광고에 대한 회의감을 갖게 됩니다. 궁극적으로 이들은 기업의 주요 목표는 고객들에게 많은 제품을 판매하는 것이 아니라, 경쟁사를 이기려는 것이며, 이를 통해 이익을 늘리려는 것임을 알게 되었습니다.
이런변화는 기업들에게 광고에서 진정성있고 투명한 정보를 전달하도록 강제하는 것이므로 긍정적으로 볼 수 있습니다. 또한 이것은 고객들에게 관련이 있는 것보다는 마케팅 말만 하는 것을 빈번하게 하기보다는, 독창적이고 의미있는 광고를 만들도록 할 수 있습니다.
결론적으로 최근 조사에서 드러난 광고에 대한 소비자 관심의 감소는 미래에 덜 오해하고, 더 유익한 광고를 이끌어 내는 긍정적인 발전이라고 할 수 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. Shift in consumer behaviour - 소비자 행동의 변화
2. Overabundance - 과다함
3. Grain of skepticism - 회의적인 시각
4. Deliver genuine and transparent information - 진정성 있는 정보 전달
5. Marketing spiels - 마케팅 말만
6. Reduced consumer interest - 소비자 관심 감소
7. More beneficial ads - 더 유익한 광고.
A recent survey suggests that consumers nowadays are less influenced by advertisements than in the past. I see this shift in consumer behaviour as a positive change within society.
To begin with, the inundation of advertisements in our society could be a reason behind this changed behaviour. Ads, in various forms and on multiple platforms, have become so ubiquitous that people have started to ignore them. For instance, cities are replete with billboards and banners on buses and subway stations, causing the audience to become numb to their messages. Thus, the overabundance of these advertisements is leading to their diminished influence.
Additionally, a disillusionment has set in among customers due to the exaggerated claims made by companies in their advertisements. Consumers, after experiencing a number of these overestimated products, have learnt to view advertisements with a grain of skepticism. In essence, people have realised that the primary aim of companies is not to provide consumers with quality products, but to outcompete their rivals and increase their profits.
This shift can be seen as beneficial, as it forces companies to deliver genuine and transparent information in their ads. It can also potentially lead to creative and meaningful advertisements that add value to the customers' experience, rather than just inundating them with marketing spiels.
In conclusion, the reduced consumer interest in advertisements, as revealed by the recent survey, is a positive development that could lead to less misleading and more beneficial ads in the future.
Word count: 258
Essay translated in Korean:
최근의 조사에 따르면 소비자들은 과거에 비해 광고에 덜 영향을 받는다고 합니다. 이런 소비자 행동의 변화를 저는 사회 내에서 긍정적인 변화로 보고 있습니다.
첫 번째로, 우리 사회에서 광고의 홍수는 이런 변화된 행동의 이유가 될 수 있습니다. 여러 형태, 여러 플랫폼의 광고가 너무나도 많아져 사람들은 광고를 무시하기 시작했습니다. 예를 들어, 버스나 지하철 역에 배너와 빌보드로 도시가 가득 차있어, 관객은 그 메시지에 무감각해지고 있습니다. 따라서 이런 광고의 과다함이 그 영향력을 줄이고 있는 것입니다.
또한, 회사들이 광고에서 과장된 주장을 하는 것으로 인해 고객들 사이에 실망감이 생겨 나왔습니다. 이런 과장된 제품을 여러 번 경험한 후에 소비자들은 광고에 대한 회의감을 갖게 됩니다. 궁극적으로 이들은 기업의 주요 목표는 고객들에게 많은 제품을 판매하는 것이 아니라, 경쟁사를 이기려는 것이며, 이를 통해 이익을 늘리려는 것임을 알게 되었습니다.
이런변화는 기업들에게 광고에서 진정성있고 투명한 정보를 전달하도록 강제하는 것이므로 긍정적으로 볼 수 있습니다. 또한 이것은 고객들에게 관련이 있는 것보다는 마케팅 말만 하는 것을 빈번하게 하기보다는, 독창적이고 의미있는 광고를 만들도록 할 수 있습니다.
결론적으로 최근 조사에서 드러난 광고에 대한 소비자 관심의 감소는 미래에 덜 오해하고, 더 유익한 광고를 이끌어 내는 긍정적인 발전이라고 할 수 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. Shift in consumer behaviour - 소비자 행동의 변화
2. Overabundance - 과다함
3. Grain of skepticism - 회의적인 시각
4. Deliver genuine and transparent information - 진정성 있는 정보 전달
5. Marketing spiels - 마케팅 말만
6. Reduced consumer interest - 소비자 관심 감소
7. More beneficial ads - 더 유익한 광고.
제출한 라이팅
Nowadays, Customers are attracted to advertisements fewer than past Based on latest survey. I think this is positive and I will mention my reasons in this essay.
Initially, the society are filled with the various advertisements and people are bombard with this amount of information. When individuals see commercial ads in many places, it becomes a habit for them to watch advertisements, so ads will lose their attraction. For example, in big cities companies use public transportation as a place for presenting their products, therefore people see many images and billboards in subway and buses on their way which most of the ignore. Secondly, some companies exaggerate the quality of their products in ads. people purchasing their products and realize that advertisements are not reliable, so they do not attract by something unreal. They found that the purpose of advertisements is to win over their rival companies and make more money by pursuit them to buy more.
In my idea, this is helpful as companies will find that they ought to make an advertisements based on real features of the product and build a reliable relationship with their customers. They should change the way of making ads and find some creative ways for this changeable world. Commercial ads should be more useful and teach something new.
In conclusion, people notice less to ads based on a recent survey and this is positive because of the above-mentioned reasons.
Initially, the society are filled with the various advertisements and people are bombard with this amount of information. When individuals see commercial ads in many places, it becomes a habit for them to watch advertisements, so ads will lose their attraction. For example, in big cities companies use public transportation as a place for presenting their products, therefore people see many images and billboards in subway and buses on their way which most of the ignore. Secondly, some companies exaggerate the quality of their products in ads. people purchasing their products and realize that advertisements are not reliable, so they do not attract by something unreal. They found that the purpose of advertisements is to win over their rival companies and make more money by pursuit them to buy more.
In my idea, this is helpful as companies will find that they ought to make an advertisements based on real features of the product and build a reliable relationship with their customers. They should change the way of making ads and find some creative ways for this changeable world. Commercial ads should be more useful and teach something new.
In conclusion, people notice less to ads based on a recent survey and this is positive because of the above-mentioned reasons.
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