아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Discussion
some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The writer has presented a well developed response to the task. Both views are discussed and the writer's own opinion is clearly given. The arguments are justified and examples are provided. However, there could be a more clear and direct answer to the question in the introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is logically organized and each paragraph has a clear central topic. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas is not smooth, and some information seems repetitive.
Lexical Resource: 7
The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some collocations and idiomatic phrases. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved, for example "aline" instead of "align" and "later perspective" instead of "latter perspective".
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
Despite a reasonable range of grammatical structures used, there are noticeable errors, such as subject-verb agreement ("Advertisements has become") and some awkward sentence constructions ("Even people could notice them in transportation").
Overall: 6.5
The writer shows a clear understanding of the task with some minor issues relating to organization of ideas and grammatical errors. With a bit more polishing, the score could easily be higher. The writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and improving the flow of thoughts in the essay.
Task Response: 7
The writer has presented a well developed response to the task. Both views are discussed and the writer's own opinion is clearly given. The arguments are justified and examples are provided. However, there could be a more clear and direct answer to the question in the introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is logically organized and each paragraph has a clear central topic. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas is not smooth, and some information seems repetitive.
Lexical Resource: 7
The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some collocations and idiomatic phrases. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved, for example "aline" instead of "align" and "later perspective" instead of "latter perspective".
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
Despite a reasonable range of grammatical structures used, there are noticeable errors, such as subject-verb agreement ("Advertisements has become") and some awkward sentence constructions ("Even people could notice them in transportation").
Overall: 6.5
The writer shows a clear understanding of the task with some minor issues relating to organization of ideas and grammatical errors. With a bit more polishing, the score could easily be higher. The writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and improving the flow of thoughts in the essay.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Essay:
In the contemporary world, advertising dominates every aspect of our lives. It's a topic of debate whether these omnipresent ads successfully convince us to make purchases or if their overwhelming prevalence causes us to ignore them.
On one hand, the ubiquity of advertisements is viewed as so overwhelming that it ceases to have any real impact. Adverts are present everywhere - in our workplaces, on our commutes, throughout our digital devices. Given this saturation, one might argue that we have become desensitized to their message, simply observing them without absorbing the products or services being promoted.
Contrarily, it can also be argued that constant exposure to an ad can subtly influence our preference, making us more likely to choose the more advertised product, even unconsciously. The principle is that repeated familiarity breeds a sense of comfort and trust in the product, thereby prompting us to select it over lesser-known alternatives. For example, while many of us may find ourselves irritated by repetitive advertising, we often realize that these same frequently advertised items end up in our shopping carts.
In conclusion, while the omnipresence of advertising may make it seem less effective to some, I believe it still carries substantial persuasive power. The consistent exposure and familiarity created by ads have significant sway in steering our purchasing decisions.
Word count: 261
Essay translated in Korean:
현대 세계에서 광고는 우리 생활의 모든 면을 지배합니다. 이런 두드러진 광고들이 우리를 성공적으로 구매로 이끄는지, 아니면 그들의 압도적인 존재감 때문에 우리가 광고를 무시하는지에 대한 논쟁의 주제가 됩니다.
한편으로는 광고가 어디에나 넘치는 만큼 사람들이 더 이상 실질적인 영향력을 미치지 못한다고 보는 사람들도 있습니다. 광고는 우리의 직장, 통근, 디지털 장치 등 어디에나 존재합니다. 이러한 포화 상태를 고려하면, 우리는 그들의 메시지에 둔감해져서, 광고를 보는 것은 있지만 홍보하는 제품이나 서비스를 받아들이지는 않는다고 주장할 수 있습니다.
반대로, 광고에 지속적으로 노출된다는 것은 우리의 선호도에 미묘하게 영향을 미칠 수 있다는 주장도 있습니다. 반복적인 익숙함이 제품에 대한 편안함과 신뢰감을 만들어내며, 이로 인해 우리는 알려지지 않은 대안들보다 광고가 더 많이 되는 제품을 선택하게 됩니다. 예를 들어, 많은 사람들이 반복적인 광고에 화가 날 수도 있지만, 우리는 자주 광고되는 아이템이 우리 쇼핑 카트에 들어가는 것을 자주 알게 됩니다.
결론적으로, 광고의 어디에나 존재하는 것은 어떤 사람들에게는 효과적으로 보이지 않을지라도, 제 생각에는 여전히 상당한 설득력이 있다고 생각합니다. 광고의 지속적인 노출과 익숙함은 우리의 구매 결정에 상당한 영향을 미칩니다.
Good expressions:
1. contemporary world - 현대 세계
2. omnipresence of advertising - 광고의 어디에나 존재하는
3. saturating presence - 포화 상태
4. desensitized to their message - 메시지에 둔감해지다
5. subtly influence our preference - 미묘하게 선호도에 영향을 미친다
6. breeds a sense of comfort and trust - 편안함과 신뢰감을 만들어낸다
7. carry substantial persuasive power - 상당한 설득력을 가지다
8. significant sway in steering - 구매 결정에 상당한 영향을 미친다
In the contemporary world, advertising dominates every aspect of our lives. It's a topic of debate whether these omnipresent ads successfully convince us to make purchases or if their overwhelming prevalence causes us to ignore them.
On one hand, the ubiquity of advertisements is viewed as so overwhelming that it ceases to have any real impact. Adverts are present everywhere - in our workplaces, on our commutes, throughout our digital devices. Given this saturation, one might argue that we have become desensitized to their message, simply observing them without absorbing the products or services being promoted.
Contrarily, it can also be argued that constant exposure to an ad can subtly influence our preference, making us more likely to choose the more advertised product, even unconsciously. The principle is that repeated familiarity breeds a sense of comfort and trust in the product, thereby prompting us to select it over lesser-known alternatives. For example, while many of us may find ourselves irritated by repetitive advertising, we often realize that these same frequently advertised items end up in our shopping carts.
In conclusion, while the omnipresence of advertising may make it seem less effective to some, I believe it still carries substantial persuasive power. The consistent exposure and familiarity created by ads have significant sway in steering our purchasing decisions.
Word count: 261
Essay translated in Korean:
현대 세계에서 광고는 우리 생활의 모든 면을 지배합니다. 이런 두드러진 광고들이 우리를 성공적으로 구매로 이끄는지, 아니면 그들의 압도적인 존재감 때문에 우리가 광고를 무시하는지에 대한 논쟁의 주제가 됩니다.
한편으로는 광고가 어디에나 넘치는 만큼 사람들이 더 이상 실질적인 영향력을 미치지 못한다고 보는 사람들도 있습니다. 광고는 우리의 직장, 통근, 디지털 장치 등 어디에나 존재합니다. 이러한 포화 상태를 고려하면, 우리는 그들의 메시지에 둔감해져서, 광고를 보는 것은 있지만 홍보하는 제품이나 서비스를 받아들이지는 않는다고 주장할 수 있습니다.
반대로, 광고에 지속적으로 노출된다는 것은 우리의 선호도에 미묘하게 영향을 미칠 수 있다는 주장도 있습니다. 반복적인 익숙함이 제품에 대한 편안함과 신뢰감을 만들어내며, 이로 인해 우리는 알려지지 않은 대안들보다 광고가 더 많이 되는 제품을 선택하게 됩니다. 예를 들어, 많은 사람들이 반복적인 광고에 화가 날 수도 있지만, 우리는 자주 광고되는 아이템이 우리 쇼핑 카트에 들어가는 것을 자주 알게 됩니다.
결론적으로, 광고의 어디에나 존재하는 것은 어떤 사람들에게는 효과적으로 보이지 않을지라도, 제 생각에는 여전히 상당한 설득력이 있다고 생각합니다. 광고의 지속적인 노출과 익숙함은 우리의 구매 결정에 상당한 영향을 미칩니다.
Good expressions:
1. contemporary world - 현대 세계
2. omnipresence of advertising - 광고의 어디에나 존재하는
3. saturating presence - 포화 상태
4. desensitized to their message - 메시지에 둔감해지다
5. subtly influence our preference - 미묘하게 선호도에 영향을 미친다
6. breeds a sense of comfort and trust - 편안함과 신뢰감을 만들어낸다
7. carry substantial persuasive power - 상당한 설득력을 가지다
8. significant sway in steering - 구매 결정에 상당한 영향을 미친다
제출한 라이팅
In today's society advertisement plays a significant role in people's daily lives. some people think that advertising is so common that we don't pay attention to it anymore, while others consider that advertisement is extremely powerful and persuading, challenging individuals to make wise choices.
These two statement are reasonable. In fact, I personally aline with the later perspective.
Advertisements today are prevailing in may places where people work or play. In everyday human lives, one can see advertisements all over around. Even people could notice them in transportation, their works and through their phones. It is an undeniable fact that advertisements has become too common for anyone. However, this doesn't mean that it is too common for people not to pay attention to them any more.
individuals are more likely to prefer something they are more familiar with that those are not. In that regard, advertisements can lead people to get used to them do that people feel more comfortable with advertised products when they see or use them. Even If common advertisements present everywhere, they have enough power to persuade humans consume the products. For instance, I feel often tired of many advertisements. However, when I consider what to buy, unconsciously I find myself choosing some goods that are advertised more frequently to me.
All things considered, while advertisements are too common in this society, it is still considerably compelling to have an impact on individuals' purchasing goods. All in all, it is an undeniable fact that the frequency of advertisements is closely intertwine with the rate of consumers purchasing.
These two statement are reasonable. In fact, I personally aline with the later perspective.
Advertisements today are prevailing in may places where people work or play. In everyday human lives, one can see advertisements all over around. Even people could notice them in transportation, their works and through their phones. It is an undeniable fact that advertisements has become too common for anyone. However, this doesn't mean that it is too common for people not to pay attention to them any more.
individuals are more likely to prefer something they are more familiar with that those are not. In that regard, advertisements can lead people to get used to them do that people feel more comfortable with advertised products when they see or use them. Even If common advertisements present everywhere, they have enough power to persuade humans consume the products. For instance, I feel often tired of many advertisements. However, when I consider what to buy, unconsciously I find myself choosing some goods that are advertised more frequently to me.
All things considered, while advertisements are too common in this society, it is still considerably compelling to have an impact on individuals' purchasing goods. All in all, it is an undeniable fact that the frequency of advertisements is closely intertwine with the rate of consumers purchasing.
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