AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Two parts
It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6
The essay provides a clear answer to the question, with both causes and solutions being explored. However, the examples and arguments can be more detailed and convincing - for example, the claim that workers have to work even when they are sick needs further explanation.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs (one discussing causes, one discussing solutions), and a conclusion. The information is organized logically, and the argument is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: 6
The lexical resources are adequate but not impressive. The terminology is mainly related to the topic, though it does not seem very sophisticated. However, there are some instances where the word choices are non-idiomatic or confusing, such as the phrase "let incorporate employ more people."
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The range of grammatical structures is wide and mostly correct but there are instances of minor errors and slightly awkward phrasing. Yet, the meaning is generally clear.
Overall: 6.5
The essay displays an adequate grasp of the task and some sophistication in language use and organization. However, the student should strive for further detail in their arguments and be more mindful of certain grammatical issues to score higher.
Task Response: 6
The essay provides a clear answer to the question, with both causes and solutions being explored. However, the examples and arguments can be more detailed and convincing - for example, the claim that workers have to work even when they are sick needs further explanation.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs (one discussing causes, one discussing solutions), and a conclusion. The information is organized logically, and the argument is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: 6
The lexical resources are adequate but not impressive. The terminology is mainly related to the topic, though it does not seem very sophisticated. However, there are some instances where the word choices are non-idiomatic or confusing, such as the phrase "let incorporate employ more people."
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The range of grammatical structures is wide and mostly correct but there are instances of minor errors and slightly awkward phrasing. Yet, the meaning is generally clear.
Overall: 6.5
The essay displays an adequate grasp of the task and some sophistication in language use and organization. However, the student should strive for further detail in their arguments and be more mindful of certain grammatical issues to score higher.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Essay:
Nowadays, there is an escalating issue of work-life balance among professionals, which is linked to increased job demands and the struggle to maintain personal commitments. This essay will discuss the reasons for this phenomenon and propose potential solutions to foster harmony between professional and personal lives.
The major cause for the disruption of work-life balance is the excessive work hours imposed on employees. Many professionals find themselves obligated to work beyond the standard nine-to-five routine, often at the insistence of their superiors, leaving little time for personal engagements. This is particularly evident in countries like South Korea, where employees routinely work till late in the evening to ensure improved company performance, even at the cost of their health either mentally or physically.
Addressing this issue requires cooperation from both individuals and authorities. Governments could revise labor policies to limit working hours and encourage companies to hire more workforce if required. This approach would ensure that employees have adequate rest and personal time, which inadvertently benefits the company by maintaining employee productivity and morale. Meanwhile, on a personal level, employees could take up leisure activities or hobbies. Exploring interests, such as joining sports clubs or learning a musical instrument, could serve as an excellent stress reliever and provide an outlet for personal growth and enjoyment.
In conclusion, the challenge of maintaining a work-life balance is presently a concern for many, however, with practical policy alterations and individual initiatives, it can be beneficially tackled.
Word count: 263
Essay translated in Korean:
요즘에는 전문가들 사이에서 직무 수행과 개인 활동 간의 균형 유지에 대한 문제가 점점 더 늘고 있습니다. 이 논문에서는 이 현상의 원인과 전문가들의 가정 생활과의 조화를 유지하는 데 도움이 될 수 있을지도 모르는 가능한 해결책에 대해 논의할 것입니다.
Good expressions:
1. The major cause for the disruption of work-life balance - 직장 생활과 개인 생활의 균형이 파괴되는 주요 원인
2. Addressing this issue requires cooperation from both individuals and authorities - 이 문제를 해결하려면 개인과 당국의 협력이 필요하다
3. Governments could revise labor policies to limit working hours - 정부는 노동 정책을 수정하여 근무 시간을 제한할 수 있다.
4. Exploring interests, such as joining sports clubs or learning a musical instrument - 스포츠 클럽 가입이나 악기 학습 같은 관심사 탐구
Nowadays, there is an escalating issue of work-life balance among professionals, which is linked to increased job demands and the struggle to maintain personal commitments. This essay will discuss the reasons for this phenomenon and propose potential solutions to foster harmony between professional and personal lives.
The major cause for the disruption of work-life balance is the excessive work hours imposed on employees. Many professionals find themselves obligated to work beyond the standard nine-to-five routine, often at the insistence of their superiors, leaving little time for personal engagements. This is particularly evident in countries like South Korea, where employees routinely work till late in the evening to ensure improved company performance, even at the cost of their health either mentally or physically.
Addressing this issue requires cooperation from both individuals and authorities. Governments could revise labor policies to limit working hours and encourage companies to hire more workforce if required. This approach would ensure that employees have adequate rest and personal time, which inadvertently benefits the company by maintaining employee productivity and morale. Meanwhile, on a personal level, employees could take up leisure activities or hobbies. Exploring interests, such as joining sports clubs or learning a musical instrument, could serve as an excellent stress reliever and provide an outlet for personal growth and enjoyment.
In conclusion, the challenge of maintaining a work-life balance is presently a concern for many, however, with practical policy alterations and individual initiatives, it can be beneficially tackled.
Word count: 263
Essay translated in Korean:
요즘에는 전문가들 사이에서 직무 수행과 개인 활동 간의 균형 유지에 대한 문제가 점점 더 늘고 있습니다. 이 논문에서는 이 현상의 원인과 전문가들의 가정 생활과의 조화를 유지하는 데 도움이 될 수 있을지도 모르는 가능한 해결책에 대해 논의할 것입니다.
Good expressions:
1. The major cause for the disruption of work-life balance - 직장 생활과 개인 생활의 균형이 파괴되는 주요 원인
2. Addressing this issue requires cooperation from both individuals and authorities - 이 문제를 해결하려면 개인과 당국의 협력이 필요하다
3. Governments could revise labor policies to limit working hours - 정부는 노동 정책을 수정하여 근무 시간을 제한할 수 있다.
4. Exploring interests, such as joining sports clubs or learning a musical instrument - 스포츠 클럽 가입이나 악기 학습 같은 관심사 탐구
제출한 라이팅
These days, growing number of workers have a difficulty in balancing their work and personal activities. While this is a serous problem, it can be solved by having hobbies or the government's policy. In this essay, I will discuss causes of this problem and some solutions.
One of the main causes of this problem is that most of the men and women are required to work for a long time due to their seniors. Most employees have to work for 9 hours a day and it makes them not to take personal life. For example, in Korea, most workers go to the workplaces to 9am and are required to focus on their tasks until 6pm to increase company's business performance, even though they get a cold or other types of illness.
However, there are solutions of this matter, One of the ways is that the government could change the policies, forcing to make employees work fewer hours in their workplaces. This policy allows workers not only to work less time, but also to let incorporate employ more people. In addition, citizens might have their own hobbies to keep their personal life by themselves. People could enjoy various sports with their family or friends and even they could learn how to play instruments from popular clubs or academies, relieving stress and also taking personal activities.
To sum up, it is clear that balancing work and non-work time is difficult for modern people, but it could be solved by government's policy and enjoying several outdoor or indoor activities.
One of the main causes of this problem is that most of the men and women are required to work for a long time due to their seniors. Most employees have to work for 9 hours a day and it makes them not to take personal life. For example, in Korea, most workers go to the workplaces to 9am and are required to focus on their tasks until 6pm to increase company's business performance, even though they get a cold or other types of illness.
However, there are solutions of this matter, One of the ways is that the government could change the policies, forcing to make employees work fewer hours in their workplaces. This policy allows workers not only to work less time, but also to let incorporate employ more people. In addition, citizens might have their own hobbies to keep their personal life by themselves. People could enjoy various sports with their family or friends and even they could learn how to play instruments from popular clubs or academies, relieving stress and also taking personal activities.
To sum up, it is clear that balancing work and non-work time is difficult for modern people, but it could be solved by government's policy and enjoying several outdoor or indoor activities.
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