AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Opinion
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The writer has presented their argument consistently throughout the essay. They have provided relevant examples to support their argument. However, the argument could have been supported with even more depth and weight.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7.5
The writer has effectively used linking words to tie their ideas together, creating a smooth flow throughout their essay. The overall structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow. The introduction and conclusion link back to the question effectively.
Lexical Resource: 7.5
The writer has used a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Some minor errors and inappropriate word choices exist but they don't impede understanding.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The writer has demonstrated ability to use a variety of sentence structures, though there are some minor grammatical errors such as the misuse of articles ("a cancer", "an atomic bomb"). However, these errors do not significantly interfere with the reader's understanding.
Overall: 7.25
The writer effectively responded to the task and presented a coherent argument. Their usage of vocabulary and sentence structures is quite good, despite occasional errors. They could potentially reach a higher band by focusing on improving grammatical accuracy and developing their argument in more depth.
Task Response: 7
The writer has presented their argument consistently throughout the essay. They have provided relevant examples to support their argument. However, the argument could have been supported with even more depth and weight.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7.5
The writer has effectively used linking words to tie their ideas together, creating a smooth flow throughout their essay. The overall structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow. The introduction and conclusion link back to the question effectively.
Lexical Resource: 7.5
The writer has used a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Some minor errors and inappropriate word choices exist but they don't impede understanding.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The writer has demonstrated ability to use a variety of sentence structures, though there are some minor grammatical errors such as the misuse of articles ("a cancer", "an atomic bomb"). However, these errors do not significantly interfere with the reader's understanding.
Overall: 7.25
The writer effectively responded to the task and presented a coherent argument. Their usage of vocabulary and sentence structures is quite good, despite occasional errors. They could potentially reach a higher band by focusing on improving grammatical accuracy and developing their argument in more depth.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Essay:
There are varying views on the ultimate objective of science, whether it should be to break new frontiers of knowledge or to better our daily lives. I am of the firm belief that science's most cardinal purpose should be to conspicuously enhance the well-being of mankind.
The essence of science lies in its applicability and benefits to humanity, rather than merely expanding the reservoir of knowledge. While delving into mysteries like space and cells provides a foundation for scientific scholarship, it is rudimentary unless put to practical beneficial use. The pursuit of something as momentous as a cure for cancer demonstrates the real power of science; any knowledge that doesn't directly contribute to human survival and prosperity can be superfluous. Consequently, the merit of science becomes apparent when its fruits are reaped for the betterment of human conditions.
However, it is noteworthy that the intent behind the application of science should be benevolent. An illustrative example from history would be Oppenheimer's creation of the atomic bomb during WWII. His humanitarian intention of ending the war was ultimately perverted into an instrument of mass destruction in Nagasaki and Hiroshima. This asserts the notion that science can be both a savior and a destroyer of human lives. Therefore, the broader implications of scientific advancements should always be scrutinized to preclude catastrophic consequences.
In conclusion, while curiosity should fuel scientific exploration, its ultimate goal must remain the direct enhancement of human lives without inducing adversities.
Word count: 261
Essay translated in Korean:
과학의 궁극적인 목표에 대해 다양한 관점이 있습니다: 새로운 지식의 경계를 넓히는 것인지, 아니면 우리의 일상 생활을 개선하는 것인지. 나는 과학의 가장 중요한 목표는 인류의 복지를 분명하게 향상시키는 것이어야 한다는 확고한 믿음을 가지고 있습니다.
과학의 본질은 단지 지식의 저장고를 늘리는 것이 아니라, 인간의 존재에 대한 실제적이고 이롭게 적용되는 점에 있습니다. 우주와 세포와 같은 미스터리를 탐구하는 것은 과학 학문의 기초를 제공하지만, 실용적으로 이로울 때까지는 기본적인 것 뿐입니다. 암 치료의 이러한 순간적인 추구는 과학의 진정한 힘을 보여줍니다. 인간의 생존과 번영에 직접 기여하지 않는 지식은 다소 불필요할 수 있습니다. 따라서 과학의 공로는 그것의 열매가 인간의 조건을 개선하기 위해 거두어질 때 명확해진다.
그러나 과학의 적용에 대한 취지는 자비로워야 함을 주목할 필요가 있습니다. 역사에서 보여주는 대표적인 예는 2차 세계대전 도중 Oppenheimer가 원자 폭탄을 만든 것입니다. 그의 인도주의적 의도는 나가사키와 히로시마에서 대량 살상 무기로 변질되었습니다. 이것은 과학이 인류의 구세주일수도, 파괴자일 수도 있다는 주장을 강화합니다. 따라서 과학의 발전에 대한 보다 광범위한 함의는 파멸적인 결과를 피하기 위해 항상 신중하게 따져봐야 합니다.
결론적으로, 호기심이 과학 탐구를 추진해야 하지만, 그 궁극적인 목표는 수렁을 늪지 않게하는 인간의 삶을 직접 향상시키는 것이어야 합니다.
Good expressions:
1. Conspicuously enhance (분명하게 향상시키다)
2. Cardinal purpose (중요한 목적)
3. Applicability and benefits (적용성 및 이점)
4. Broad implications (넓은 함의)
5. Ultimate goal (궁극적인 목표)
6. Fuel scientific exploration (과학 탐구를 능가하는)
7. Rudimentary (기본적인)
8. Momentous (중대한)
9. Superfluous (불필요한)
10. Catastrophic consequences (참혹한 결과).
There are varying views on the ultimate objective of science, whether it should be to break new frontiers of knowledge or to better our daily lives. I am of the firm belief that science's most cardinal purpose should be to conspicuously enhance the well-being of mankind.
The essence of science lies in its applicability and benefits to humanity, rather than merely expanding the reservoir of knowledge. While delving into mysteries like space and cells provides a foundation for scientific scholarship, it is rudimentary unless put to practical beneficial use. The pursuit of something as momentous as a cure for cancer demonstrates the real power of science; any knowledge that doesn't directly contribute to human survival and prosperity can be superfluous. Consequently, the merit of science becomes apparent when its fruits are reaped for the betterment of human conditions.
However, it is noteworthy that the intent behind the application of science should be benevolent. An illustrative example from history would be Oppenheimer's creation of the atomic bomb during WWII. His humanitarian intention of ending the war was ultimately perverted into an instrument of mass destruction in Nagasaki and Hiroshima. This asserts the notion that science can be both a savior and a destroyer of human lives. Therefore, the broader implications of scientific advancements should always be scrutinized to preclude catastrophic consequences.
In conclusion, while curiosity should fuel scientific exploration, its ultimate goal must remain the direct enhancement of human lives without inducing adversities.
Word count: 261
Essay translated in Korean:
과학의 궁극적인 목표에 대해 다양한 관점이 있습니다: 새로운 지식의 경계를 넓히는 것인지, 아니면 우리의 일상 생활을 개선하는 것인지. 나는 과학의 가장 중요한 목표는 인류의 복지를 분명하게 향상시키는 것이어야 한다는 확고한 믿음을 가지고 있습니다.
과학의 본질은 단지 지식의 저장고를 늘리는 것이 아니라, 인간의 존재에 대한 실제적이고 이롭게 적용되는 점에 있습니다. 우주와 세포와 같은 미스터리를 탐구하는 것은 과학 학문의 기초를 제공하지만, 실용적으로 이로울 때까지는 기본적인 것 뿐입니다. 암 치료의 이러한 순간적인 추구는 과학의 진정한 힘을 보여줍니다. 인간의 생존과 번영에 직접 기여하지 않는 지식은 다소 불필요할 수 있습니다. 따라서 과학의 공로는 그것의 열매가 인간의 조건을 개선하기 위해 거두어질 때 명확해진다.
그러나 과학의 적용에 대한 취지는 자비로워야 함을 주목할 필요가 있습니다. 역사에서 보여주는 대표적인 예는 2차 세계대전 도중 Oppenheimer가 원자 폭탄을 만든 것입니다. 그의 인도주의적 의도는 나가사키와 히로시마에서 대량 살상 무기로 변질되었습니다. 이것은 과학이 인류의 구세주일수도, 파괴자일 수도 있다는 주장을 강화합니다. 따라서 과학의 발전에 대한 보다 광범위한 함의는 파멸적인 결과를 피하기 위해 항상 신중하게 따져봐야 합니다.
결론적으로, 호기심이 과학 탐구를 추진해야 하지만, 그 궁극적인 목표는 수렁을 늪지 않게하는 인간의 삶을 직접 향상시키는 것이어야 합니다.
Good expressions:
1. Conspicuously enhance (분명하게 향상시키다)
2. Cardinal purpose (중요한 목적)
3. Applicability and benefits (적용성 및 이점)
4. Broad implications (넓은 함의)
5. Ultimate goal (궁극적인 목표)
6. Fuel scientific exploration (과학 탐구를 능가하는)
7. Rudimentary (기본적인)
8. Momentous (중대한)
9. Superfluous (불필요한)
10. Catastrophic consequences (참혹한 결과).
제출한 라이팅
Some people may argue that the most important aim of science is to discover the unknown, such as space and cells. However, I believe that the most significant goal of science is to genuinely improve people's lives. Although exploring and researching the unknown area would help people gain much knowledge about that specific field, it is nothing more than mere knowledge. The search about curing a cancer and improving people's well-being should be considered first and foremost important purpose of science. Because without the existence of human beings, such knowledge about space would become unnecessary. Thus, science gains much credential and value when "human" actually use it and gain advantage from it. At the same time, it is important to note that science should be used to "genuinely" improve people's lives. For example, back in world war II, an American scientist Ophenheimer created an atomic bomb for the sake of ending the continous war in the world. Although his intention of creating such a bomb was totally out of humilitarianism, which is to protect human lives, the creation, an atombic bomb, eventually was used as a destructive weapon in Nagaski and Hiroshima, killing numerous people's lives. This shows that a scientific product may have double-sided effects: protecting and killing people's lives. To prevent such an unfortunate event, when researching or creating a scientific product, considering what kind of impact or double-side effects the research would have on human beings would be first and foremost important. Therefore, I believe that the goal of science should always be improving other people's lives without any double side effects or destructive consequences.
공유
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