AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Opinion
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay appropriately addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. It includes relevant and extended ideas which are adequately supported with examples.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The information is logically organized. However, some sentences are long with slightly awkward linking phrases which may affect the smoothness of reading. The essay lacks a bit in terms of cohesive devices and synonyms.
Lexical Resource: 7
There is a good range of vocabulary with an attempt at some less common words and phrases. The student demonstrates good control of lexical features with rare inaccuracies.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
A good range of complex sentence structures is used, which supports clarity and flexibility. However, some grammatical errors and sentence constructions could slightly hinder the reader's understanding.
Overall: 6.5
The essay adequately addresses the task and displays a good range of vocabulary and variety in sentence structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and the coherence could be improved with more accurate and varied linking phrases. Overall, it is a well-structured attempt.
Task Response: 7
The essay appropriately addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. It includes relevant and extended ideas which are adequately supported with examples.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The information is logically organized. However, some sentences are long with slightly awkward linking phrases which may affect the smoothness of reading. The essay lacks a bit in terms of cohesive devices and synonyms.
Lexical Resource: 7
There is a good range of vocabulary with an attempt at some less common words and phrases. The student demonstrates good control of lexical features with rare inaccuracies.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
A good range of complex sentence structures is used, which supports clarity and flexibility. However, some grammatical errors and sentence constructions could slightly hinder the reader's understanding.
Overall: 6.5
The essay adequately addresses the task and displays a good range of vocabulary and variety in sentence structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and the coherence could be improved with more accurate and varied linking phrases. Overall, it is a well-structured attempt.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Essay:
In recent times, there has been a palpable shift in the advertising strategies of companies with an emphasis on showcasing the novelty of their products. This essay will delve into the reasons behind this phenomenon and examine its implications.
Firstly, the modern marketplace is rife with products that bear a striking resemblance to each other in terms of functionality. Companies, in their quest to stay competitive, have thus turned to stressing on the uniqueness of their new offerings, perpetuating this trend. Furthermore, appealing advertising that emphasizes new, sometimes superficial, features has a tendency to allure consumers into making purchases, often replacing their working older models.
However, despite the apparent benefits to companies, this trend raises valid sustainability concerns. The unrelenting production of similar items has exacerbated air pollution levels with factories churning at an all-time high. Moreover, it contributes to the growing waste problem as perfectly functional products are discarded to make way for the latest models. Financially, this could also spell trouble as it encourages superfluous spending, a problem particularly pertinent to the impressionable younger generation.
To conclude, although the trend of advertising 'newness' helps companies stand out in a crowded market, it appears its drawbacks are more far-reaching, encompassing environmental and financial issues.
Word count: 248
Essay translated in Korean:
최근에는 회사들의 광고 전략에서 그들의 제품의 새로움을 강조하는 것에 대한 뚜렷한 변화가 있었습니다. 이 논문은 이 현상의 이유를 탐구하고 그것의 영향을 검토할 것입니다.
첫째, 현대의 시장은 기능 측면에서 서로 흡사한 제품으로 가득 차 있습니다. 따라서 회사들은 경쟁력을 유지하기 위해 새로운 제안의 독특함을 강조하면서 이 경향성을 영위하고 있습니다. 더구나, 새로운, 때로는 천박한 요소를 강조하는 매력적인 광고는 종종 소비자들을 매혹하여 구입하게 만들며, 종종 그들의 오래된 모델을 대체합니다.
그러나, 회사에 대한 명백한 이점에도 불구하고, 이 경향성은 적절한 지속 가능성에 대한 우려를 제기합니다. 유사한 항목의 끊임없는 생산은 공장이 차고 넘치는 바람에 대기 오염 수준을 악화시켰습니다. 또한, 최신 모델을 위해 완벽하게 기능하는 제품들이 버려지면서 쓰레기 문제가 점점 심각해집니다. 금융적으로도 이는 특히 미숙한 젊은 세대에게 중요한 문제인 불필요한 지출을 촉진하므로 문제가 될 수 있습니다.
결론적으로 말하면, '새로움'을 광고하는 경향성은 회사가 붐비는 시장에서 돋보이는 데 도움을 주지만, 그 단점은 환경적이고 재정적인 문제를 포괄하는 것으로 보입니다.
Good expressions:
1. palpable shift - 뚜렷한 변화
2. rife with -가득한
3. bear a striking resemblance - 놀라울 정도로 닮다
4. exacerbated - 악화시키다
5. impressionable - 수동적인
6. far-reaching - 널리 퍼진
7. encompassing - 포괄하는
In recent times, there has been a palpable shift in the advertising strategies of companies with an emphasis on showcasing the novelty of their products. This essay will delve into the reasons behind this phenomenon and examine its implications.
Firstly, the modern marketplace is rife with products that bear a striking resemblance to each other in terms of functionality. Companies, in their quest to stay competitive, have thus turned to stressing on the uniqueness of their new offerings, perpetuating this trend. Furthermore, appealing advertising that emphasizes new, sometimes superficial, features has a tendency to allure consumers into making purchases, often replacing their working older models.
However, despite the apparent benefits to companies, this trend raises valid sustainability concerns. The unrelenting production of similar items has exacerbated air pollution levels with factories churning at an all-time high. Moreover, it contributes to the growing waste problem as perfectly functional products are discarded to make way for the latest models. Financially, this could also spell trouble as it encourages superfluous spending, a problem particularly pertinent to the impressionable younger generation.
To conclude, although the trend of advertising 'newness' helps companies stand out in a crowded market, it appears its drawbacks are more far-reaching, encompassing environmental and financial issues.
Word count: 248
Essay translated in Korean:
최근에는 회사들의 광고 전략에서 그들의 제품의 새로움을 강조하는 것에 대한 뚜렷한 변화가 있었습니다. 이 논문은 이 현상의 이유를 탐구하고 그것의 영향을 검토할 것입니다.
첫째, 현대의 시장은 기능 측면에서 서로 흡사한 제품으로 가득 차 있습니다. 따라서 회사들은 경쟁력을 유지하기 위해 새로운 제안의 독특함을 강조하면서 이 경향성을 영위하고 있습니다. 더구나, 새로운, 때로는 천박한 요소를 강조하는 매력적인 광고는 종종 소비자들을 매혹하여 구입하게 만들며, 종종 그들의 오래된 모델을 대체합니다.
그러나, 회사에 대한 명백한 이점에도 불구하고, 이 경향성은 적절한 지속 가능성에 대한 우려를 제기합니다. 유사한 항목의 끊임없는 생산은 공장이 차고 넘치는 바람에 대기 오염 수준을 악화시켰습니다. 또한, 최신 모델을 위해 완벽하게 기능하는 제품들이 버려지면서 쓰레기 문제가 점점 심각해집니다. 금융적으로도 이는 특히 미숙한 젊은 세대에게 중요한 문제인 불필요한 지출을 촉진하므로 문제가 될 수 있습니다.
결론적으로 말하면, '새로움'을 광고하는 경향성은 회사가 붐비는 시장에서 돋보이는 데 도움을 주지만, 그 단점은 환경적이고 재정적인 문제를 포괄하는 것으로 보입니다.
Good expressions:
1. palpable shift - 뚜렷한 변화
2. rife with -가득한
3. bear a striking resemblance - 놀라울 정도로 닮다
4. exacerbated - 악화시키다
5. impressionable - 수동적인
6. far-reaching - 널리 퍼진
7. encompassing - 포괄하는
제출한 라이팅
It is true that companies focus on highlighting their new features regarding making an advertisement of their goods, and this trend is escalating these days. In this essay, I will address the reasons why this trend is becoming common and how I consider it.
First, there are several reasons that can cause this phenomenon to happen.
To start with, there are too many similar products already existed in the modern world. Businesses desire to be competitive and make a huge profit from their every newly produced goods, so they initiated to emphasize developed features compared to the earlier one.
In addition to this, these kinds of advertisement focusing on superficially fantastic characters readily mesmerizes the customers so that make people be eager to get a new one, even though some of them have already perfectly working old ones.
In my opinion, these causes described above could lead to negative repercussions.
First of all, manufacturing constantly similar items would induce detriemental consequences from an environment perspective. The more factories are running, the more air pollution is derived, as well as this, the amount of waste would be increased as people throw away things that they already owned.
On top of that, it leads people to spend the money unnecessarily. It could be harmful especially to children whose concept on spending money is not totally foamed.
In conclusion, there are several causes of this trend and it seems to me that its risks outweigh any potential benefits owing to the reasons mentioned above.
First, there are several reasons that can cause this phenomenon to happen.
To start with, there are too many similar products already existed in the modern world. Businesses desire to be competitive and make a huge profit from their every newly produced goods, so they initiated to emphasize developed features compared to the earlier one.
In addition to this, these kinds of advertisement focusing on superficially fantastic characters readily mesmerizes the customers so that make people be eager to get a new one, even though some of them have already perfectly working old ones.
In my opinion, these causes described above could lead to negative repercussions.
First of all, manufacturing constantly similar items would induce detriemental consequences from an environment perspective. The more factories are running, the more air pollution is derived, as well as this, the amount of waste would be increased as people throw away things that they already owned.
On top of that, it leads people to spend the money unnecessarily. It could be harmful especially to children whose concept on spending money is not totally foamed.
In conclusion, there are several causes of this trend and it seems to me that its risks outweigh any potential benefits owing to the reasons mentioned above.
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