AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Discussion
t is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 8.5
The essay fully addresses the task with a clear position, supporting the idea of caring about international events, providing well developed arguments and relevant examples from start to finish.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7.5
The topic is well developed, a logical progression throughout, and successfully uses cohesive devices, paragraphing, and linking words. However, some connections between ideas can be clearer.
Lexical Resource: 8.5
The writer shows an excellent range and control of lexis, employing more complex words ("expeditiously," "ambiguous") correctly, even if with slight misuses here and there.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
A good range of structures are used correctly, with few grammatical errors being only minor. However, there could be more variety in sentence structures.
Overall: 8.1
The essay is well written, with structured arguments and included practical examples. Just a few tweaks for clarity in coherence, a wider sentence range, and minor grammatical errors need to be considered. Overall, a strong and insightful response to the task.
Task Response: 8.5
The essay fully addresses the task with a clear position, supporting the idea of caring about international events, providing well developed arguments and relevant examples from start to finish.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7.5
The topic is well developed, a logical progression throughout, and successfully uses cohesive devices, paragraphing, and linking words. However, some connections between ideas can be clearer.
Lexical Resource: 8.5
The writer shows an excellent range and control of lexis, employing more complex words ("expeditiously," "ambiguous") correctly, even if with slight misuses here and there.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
A good range of structures are used correctly, with few grammatical errors being only minor. However, there could be more variety in sentence structures.
Overall: 8.1
The essay is well written, with structured arguments and included practical examples. Just a few tweaks for clarity in coherence, a wider sentence range, and minor grammatical errors need to be considered. Overall, a strong and insightful response to the task.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
t is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Essay:
The importance of paying attention to global events, regardless of their direct impact on our own lives, is a notion I support. Acquiring knowledge about these events is vital as it guides nations in both assisting others and addressing their own situation.
Primarily, staying informed about international occurrences can facilitate the provision of help to struggling nations. Many nations worldwide repeatedly grapple with disasters such as human rights violations, catastrophic calamities, and warfare. For instance, the international community hastily rallied to aid China during the 2008 Sichuan earthquake, which drastically bolstered their recovery endeavors.
Furthermore, awareness of international affairs can serve as a valuable learning resource for nations wrestling with their own problems. It is common for various nations to encounter similar issues, thereby offering an opportunity to learn from others' mistakes and successes. An appropriate example is Korea’s approach towards dealing with rising numbers of immigrant workers; they drew inspiration from strategies successfully implemented by the UK and Germany.
In conclusion, staying abreast of global events is paramount, both for empathizing with and supporting others, and for learning about effective problem-solving approaches. Overlooking such events could indeed impede our growth potential and readiness for life's uncertainties.
Word count: 258
Essay translated in Korean:
직접적인 영향력이 우리 자신의 삶에 없더라도 세계적인 사건들에 주의를 기울이는 것이 중요하다는 개념을 지지합니다. 이런 사건들에 대한 지식은 다른 나라들을 돕고 자신들의 상황을 처리하는데 있어 나라들에게 가이드라인을 제시합니다.
먼저, 국제적인 발생 사항에 대해 잘 알고 있으면 어려움에 처한 나라들에게 도움을 제공할 수 있습니다. 인권 침해, 재난, 전쟁과 같은 재해로 반복적으로 투쟁하는 많은 나라들이 있습니다. 예를 들어, 2008년 사천 지진 때 국제사회는 중국을 돕기 위해 서둘러 대응했고, 그 결과 중국의 복구 노력을 크게 강화했습니다.
게다가, 국제 문제에 대한 인식은 자신들의 문제에 맞서는 나라들에게 소중한 학습 자원이 될 수 있습니다. 다양한 나라들이 비슷한 문제들에 직면하는 것은 흔한 일이므로, 다른 사람들의 실수와 성공에서 배울 기회를 제공합니다. 이에 대한 적절한 예로, 이민 근로자 수가 증가하면서 생긴 문제를 다루는 한국의 접근 방식이 있습니다. 그들은 영국과 독일에서 성공적으로 시행된 전략에서 영감을 얻었습니다.
결론적으로, 다른 사람들에게 동정하고 지원하며 효과적인 문제 해결 접근법에 대해 배우기 위해 세계 정세를 이해하는 것이 매우 중요합니다. 이러한 사건들을 간과하면 우리의 성장 잠재력과 인생의 불확실성에 대한 준비를 저해할 수 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. facilitate the provision of help - 도움을 제공하는 것을 촉진하다
2. grapple with disasters - 재난에 대처하다
3. staying abreast of global events - 세계적인 사건들을 이해하는 것
4. impede our growth potential - 우리의 성장 잠재력을 저해하다
5. readiness for life's uncertainties - 인생의 불확실성에 대한 준비성
The importance of paying attention to global events, regardless of their direct impact on our own lives, is a notion I support. Acquiring knowledge about these events is vital as it guides nations in both assisting others and addressing their own situation.
Primarily, staying informed about international occurrences can facilitate the provision of help to struggling nations. Many nations worldwide repeatedly grapple with disasters such as human rights violations, catastrophic calamities, and warfare. For instance, the international community hastily rallied to aid China during the 2008 Sichuan earthquake, which drastically bolstered their recovery endeavors.
Furthermore, awareness of international affairs can serve as a valuable learning resource for nations wrestling with their own problems. It is common for various nations to encounter similar issues, thereby offering an opportunity to learn from others' mistakes and successes. An appropriate example is Korea’s approach towards dealing with rising numbers of immigrant workers; they drew inspiration from strategies successfully implemented by the UK and Germany.
In conclusion, staying abreast of global events is paramount, both for empathizing with and supporting others, and for learning about effective problem-solving approaches. Overlooking such events could indeed impede our growth potential and readiness for life's uncertainties.
Word count: 258
Essay translated in Korean:
직접적인 영향력이 우리 자신의 삶에 없더라도 세계적인 사건들에 주의를 기울이는 것이 중요하다는 개념을 지지합니다. 이런 사건들에 대한 지식은 다른 나라들을 돕고 자신들의 상황을 처리하는데 있어 나라들에게 가이드라인을 제시합니다.
먼저, 국제적인 발생 사항에 대해 잘 알고 있으면 어려움에 처한 나라들에게 도움을 제공할 수 있습니다. 인권 침해, 재난, 전쟁과 같은 재해로 반복적으로 투쟁하는 많은 나라들이 있습니다. 예를 들어, 2008년 사천 지진 때 국제사회는 중국을 돕기 위해 서둘러 대응했고, 그 결과 중국의 복구 노력을 크게 강화했습니다.
게다가, 국제 문제에 대한 인식은 자신들의 문제에 맞서는 나라들에게 소중한 학습 자원이 될 수 있습니다. 다양한 나라들이 비슷한 문제들에 직면하는 것은 흔한 일이므로, 다른 사람들의 실수와 성공에서 배울 기회를 제공합니다. 이에 대한 적절한 예로, 이민 근로자 수가 증가하면서 생긴 문제를 다루는 한국의 접근 방식이 있습니다. 그들은 영국과 독일에서 성공적으로 시행된 전략에서 영감을 얻었습니다.
결론적으로, 다른 사람들에게 동정하고 지원하며 효과적인 문제 해결 접근법에 대해 배우기 위해 세계 정세를 이해하는 것이 매우 중요합니다. 이러한 사건들을 간과하면 우리의 성장 잠재력과 인생의 불확실성에 대한 준비를 저해할 수 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. facilitate the provision of help - 도움을 제공하는 것을 촉진하다
2. grapple with disasters - 재난에 대처하다
3. staying abreast of global events - 세계적인 사건들을 이해하는 것
4. impede our growth potential - 우리의 성장 잠재력을 저해하다
5. readiness for life's uncertainties - 인생의 불확실성에 대한 준비성
제출한 라이팅
It is often said that attention need not be paid to global occurrences, unless they directly affect us. However, I hold a contrary opinion, believing that being attuned to international events is essential because it enables nations to aid other countries and also devise ways to rectify their own issues.
Firstly, understanding international issues can be a stepping stone towards aiding global citizens. Scores of nations often face tragic circumstances like human rights abuses, natural disasters and war. Being informed about these incidents paves the way for relief measures, such as resource sharing and financial contributions. A vivid illustration of this is the 2008 Sichuan earthquake, where various nations expeditiously responded and provided significant assistance, thereby amplifying China's disaster recovery efforts.
Secondly, Knowing about global events can provide valuable insights when dealing with our own societal challenges. Frequently, nations are faced with identical dilemmas, hence, studying those nations' failures and successes can guide us towards effective solutions. Case in point is Korea; when faced with heightened numbers of migrant workers and the associated issues, they looked upon the strategies of the UK and Germany and implemented effective laws.
To encapsulate, international awareness is crucial, not just for lending assistance to other nations but also for solving domestic issues. Ignoring global events reduces our chances to evolve and be prepared for life's ambiguities.
Firstly, understanding international issues can be a stepping stone towards aiding global citizens. Scores of nations often face tragic circumstances like human rights abuses, natural disasters and war. Being informed about these incidents paves the way for relief measures, such as resource sharing and financial contributions. A vivid illustration of this is the 2008 Sichuan earthquake, where various nations expeditiously responded and provided significant assistance, thereby amplifying China's disaster recovery efforts.
Secondly, Knowing about global events can provide valuable insights when dealing with our own societal challenges. Frequently, nations are faced with identical dilemmas, hence, studying those nations' failures and successes can guide us towards effective solutions. Case in point is Korea; when faced with heightened numbers of migrant workers and the associated issues, they looked upon the strategies of the UK and Germany and implemented effective laws.
To encapsulate, international awareness is crucial, not just for lending assistance to other nations but also for solving domestic issues. Ignoring global events reduces our chances to evolve and be prepared for life's ambiguities.
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