AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Opinion
Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The student presents a clear opinion and thoroughly discusses both sides of the argument. Arguments are developed logically and relevant examples are provided. However, the student could have made a more direct response to the question.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
There is a clear overall progression of ideas. Ideas and arguments are linked across paragraphs, but some connections need further improvement to ensure full clarity.
Lexical Resource: 8
There is a good use of a range of vocabulary and idiomatic language, with good control of meaning and some stylistic flair. Paraphrasing and synonym use are well demonstrated.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
There is a variety of complex structures used accurately. However, occasional minor errors occur, and the use of 'somebody who are' should be 'somebody who is'.
Overall: 7.25
Overall, the student demonstrates a good command of English with some minor areas for improvement. The essay is generally well-argued and supported, although clearer and more direct responses to the question could enhance the score. The student uses a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures accurately, but there are occasional inaccuracies.
Task Response: 7
The student presents a clear opinion and thoroughly discusses both sides of the argument. Arguments are developed logically and relevant examples are provided. However, the student could have made a more direct response to the question.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
There is a clear overall progression of ideas. Ideas and arguments are linked across paragraphs, but some connections need further improvement to ensure full clarity.
Lexical Resource: 8
There is a good use of a range of vocabulary and idiomatic language, with good control of meaning and some stylistic flair. Paraphrasing and synonym use are well demonstrated.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
There is a variety of complex structures used accurately. However, occasional minor errors occur, and the use of 'somebody who are' should be 'somebody who is'.
Overall: 7.25
Overall, the student demonstrates a good command of English with some minor areas for improvement. The essay is generally well-argued and supported, although clearer and more direct responses to the question could enhance the score. The student uses a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures accurately, but there are occasional inaccuracies.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Essay:
The debate of whether arts subjects like painting or drawing should be compulsory for high school students is one with varying opinions. Personally, I lean towards the argument that these subjects can significantly contribute to the holistic growth of students in multifarious ways, which this essay will delve into with detailed arguments and relevant examples.
Firstly, it is not misguided to claim that arts might not be everyone's passion, and imposing it could generate pressure on students who do not have an affinity towards it. For instance, students might feel overwhelmed with arts assignments on top of their heavy academic workload. However, it's crucial to consider an alternative perspective as well.
Although detractors argue that arts might be an imposition, it's necessary to remember the multitude of benefits it offers. Primarily, as high school learners face immense stress to outperform their peers acadically, art can serve as an outlet for self-expression and stress relief. For example, several psychologists commonly use artistic expression as a therapeutic technique for individuals suffering from mental health issues. Moreover, creativity, which is encouraged and nurtured through arts, can help students tackle academic problems with unique perspectives and cultivate problem-solving skills. As such, it can be argued that artistic activities aid students in focusing more on their academic subjects.
In conclusion, though there is a divide on making arts a mandatory subject for academically focused students, it is essential not to ignore the potential benefits it offers. Schools should, therefore, offer a range of options for students to handle academic pressures, including creative outlets like arts.
Word count: 265
Essay translated in Korean:
고등학생들에게 회화나 드로잉과 같은 예술 과목을 필수 과목으로 지정해야 하는지에 대한 논쟁은 다양한 의견이 존재합니다. 개인적으로, 이러한 과목이 학생들의 전방위적 성장에 중요한 기여를 할 수 있다는 주장에 더 입각하는 편이며, 이 에세이에서는 자세한 논란과 관련 예시를 통해 이를 검토할 것입니다.
우선, 예술이 모든 사람의 열정은 아닐 수 있으며, 이를 강제하는 것이 학생들에게 부담을 줄 수 있다는 주장은 일리가 있습니다. 예를 들어, 학생들은 무거운 학업 부담 위에 예술 과제까지 더해짐으로써 압도감을 느낄 수 있습니다. 그러나, 대안적인 견해도 고려해 볼 필요가 있습니다.
비록 일부 반대론자들이 예술이 부담스럽다고 주장하지만, 이것이 제공하는 다양한 이점을 기억하는 것이 중요하다. 주로, 고등학교 학생들이 학업적으로 동료들을 앞지르기 위해 엄청난 스트레스를 받는 가운데, 예술은 자기 표현과 스트레스 해소의 출구로 충분히 활용될 수 있다. 예를 들어, 여러 심리학자들이 정신건강 문제를 겪는 사람들에게 예술적 표현을 치료 기법으로 널리 사용하고 있다. 뿐만 아니라, 예술을 통해 장려 및 키워진 창의력은 학생들이 학문적 문제를 독특한 시각에서 접근하고 문제 해결 능력을 기르는 데 도움이 될 수 있다. 따라서, 예술 활동이 학생들이 학문 과목에 더 집중하도록 돕는다는 주장을 할 수 있다.
결론적으로, 예술을 학업 중심의 학생들에게 필수 과목으로 지정해야 하는지 여부에 대한 의견이 분분하다. 그러나, 이것이 제공하는 잠재적 이익을 무시해서는 안된다. 따라서, 학교들은 학생들이 학업 압박을 다루는 데 도움이 될 수 있는 다양한 선택지, 예술과 같은 창작 활동을 포함하여 제공해야 한다.
Good expressions:
1. holistic growth - 전방위적 성장
2. an outlet for self-expression - 자기 표현의 출구
3. multitude of benefits - 다양한 이점
4. cultivate problem-solving skills - 문제 해결 능력을 기르다
5. academic pressures - 학업 압박
6. creative outlets - 창작 활동.
The debate of whether arts subjects like painting or drawing should be compulsory for high school students is one with varying opinions. Personally, I lean towards the argument that these subjects can significantly contribute to the holistic growth of students in multifarious ways, which this essay will delve into with detailed arguments and relevant examples.
Firstly, it is not misguided to claim that arts might not be everyone's passion, and imposing it could generate pressure on students who do not have an affinity towards it. For instance, students might feel overwhelmed with arts assignments on top of their heavy academic workload. However, it's crucial to consider an alternative perspective as well.
Although detractors argue that arts might be an imposition, it's necessary to remember the multitude of benefits it offers. Primarily, as high school learners face immense stress to outperform their peers acadically, art can serve as an outlet for self-expression and stress relief. For example, several psychologists commonly use artistic expression as a therapeutic technique for individuals suffering from mental health issues. Moreover, creativity, which is encouraged and nurtured through arts, can help students tackle academic problems with unique perspectives and cultivate problem-solving skills. As such, it can be argued that artistic activities aid students in focusing more on their academic subjects.
In conclusion, though there is a divide on making arts a mandatory subject for academically focused students, it is essential not to ignore the potential benefits it offers. Schools should, therefore, offer a range of options for students to handle academic pressures, including creative outlets like arts.
Word count: 265
Essay translated in Korean:
고등학생들에게 회화나 드로잉과 같은 예술 과목을 필수 과목으로 지정해야 하는지에 대한 논쟁은 다양한 의견이 존재합니다. 개인적으로, 이러한 과목이 학생들의 전방위적 성장에 중요한 기여를 할 수 있다는 주장에 더 입각하는 편이며, 이 에세이에서는 자세한 논란과 관련 예시를 통해 이를 검토할 것입니다.
우선, 예술이 모든 사람의 열정은 아닐 수 있으며, 이를 강제하는 것이 학생들에게 부담을 줄 수 있다는 주장은 일리가 있습니다. 예를 들어, 학생들은 무거운 학업 부담 위에 예술 과제까지 더해짐으로써 압도감을 느낄 수 있습니다. 그러나, 대안적인 견해도 고려해 볼 필요가 있습니다.
비록 일부 반대론자들이 예술이 부담스럽다고 주장하지만, 이것이 제공하는 다양한 이점을 기억하는 것이 중요하다. 주로, 고등학교 학생들이 학업적으로 동료들을 앞지르기 위해 엄청난 스트레스를 받는 가운데, 예술은 자기 표현과 스트레스 해소의 출구로 충분히 활용될 수 있다. 예를 들어, 여러 심리학자들이 정신건강 문제를 겪는 사람들에게 예술적 표현을 치료 기법으로 널리 사용하고 있다. 뿐만 아니라, 예술을 통해 장려 및 키워진 창의력은 학생들이 학문적 문제를 독특한 시각에서 접근하고 문제 해결 능력을 기르는 데 도움이 될 수 있다. 따라서, 예술 활동이 학생들이 학문 과목에 더 집중하도록 돕는다는 주장을 할 수 있다.
결론적으로, 예술을 학업 중심의 학생들에게 필수 과목으로 지정해야 하는지 여부에 대한 의견이 분분하다. 그러나, 이것이 제공하는 잠재적 이익을 무시해서는 안된다. 따라서, 학교들은 학생들이 학업 압박을 다루는 데 도움이 될 수 있는 다양한 선택지, 예술과 같은 창작 활동을 포함하여 제공해야 한다.
Good expressions:
1. holistic growth - 전방위적 성장
2. an outlet for self-expression - 자기 표현의 출구
3. multitude of benefits - 다양한 이점
4. cultivate problem-solving skills - 문제 해결 능력을 기르다
5. academic pressures - 학업 압박
6. creative outlets - 창작 활동.
제출한 라이팅
It is often advocated that it is essential for high school students to study arts subjects with opinions divided on its validity. While many advocate for this perspective, I am inclined to the belief that painting or drawing can play a pivotal role in high schools in various terms. This essay will explore compelling arguments and suggest relevant examples to support my opinion.
It is convincing that arts may perhaps be based on individual preferences to some degree primarily because some suggest that creating arts has been led to big pressure to somebody who are not in favor of artistic works. Additionally, supporters of this argument often believe that distractions can intervene individuals who are not interested in arts to concentrate on their study. For instance, the aim of students is to gain practical knowledge within limited period, requiring the maximum efficiency to acquire academic learning. Yet, there still remains a counter-argument that deserves consideration.
Although it may be logical to argue that thinking and behaving artistically can be negative for young learners especially within allocated time, it is essential to acknowledge that arts have a diverse range of benefits to young individuals who get more stress compared to other ages in order to rank higher than competitors. This is due to the fact that expressing their thoughts without any restrictions can be a kind of stress-relieving activities, helping them to throw away their psychological burdens. To exemplify this, it is common for psychologists to utilize self-expression methods to some who have different mental illness. Moreover, it is worth noting that creativity is required of learners to increase their academic scores, which means that high school students will be able to approach math and science difficult problems with an unique logic. Therefore, it is reasonable to assert that creative behaviors assist students to stay focused more on their academic subjects.
In conclusion, there is disagreement concerning whether arts must be considered a mandatory subject for leaners who are obsessed with academic scores. This implies that this topic of debate requires comprehensive deliberation while taking into account additional facets outlined above. Nevertheless, it is vital that the significance of creative activities for stressful leaners should not be overlooked. It is recommended that schools give numerous options to those with mental pressure, supporting them cope with academic strains.
It is convincing that arts may perhaps be based on individual preferences to some degree primarily because some suggest that creating arts has been led to big pressure to somebody who are not in favor of artistic works. Additionally, supporters of this argument often believe that distractions can intervene individuals who are not interested in arts to concentrate on their study. For instance, the aim of students is to gain practical knowledge within limited period, requiring the maximum efficiency to acquire academic learning. Yet, there still remains a counter-argument that deserves consideration.
Although it may be logical to argue that thinking and behaving artistically can be negative for young learners especially within allocated time, it is essential to acknowledge that arts have a diverse range of benefits to young individuals who get more stress compared to other ages in order to rank higher than competitors. This is due to the fact that expressing their thoughts without any restrictions can be a kind of stress-relieving activities, helping them to throw away their psychological burdens. To exemplify this, it is common for psychologists to utilize self-expression methods to some who have different mental illness. Moreover, it is worth noting that creativity is required of learners to increase their academic scores, which means that high school students will be able to approach math and science difficult problems with an unique logic. Therefore, it is reasonable to assert that creative behaviors assist students to stay focused more on their academic subjects.
In conclusion, there is disagreement concerning whether arts must be considered a mandatory subject for leaners who are obsessed with academic scores. This implies that this topic of debate requires comprehensive deliberation while taking into account additional facets outlined above. Nevertheless, it is vital that the significance of creative activities for stressful leaners should not be overlooked. It is recommended that schools give numerous options to those with mental pressure, supporting them cope with academic strains.
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