AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Opinion
It is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The student responds to the task appropriately, providing clear reasons for why he believes that international events are important. Examples are used to support the ideas. Main ideas are developed adequately, demonstrating a comprehension of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Ideas are logically sequenced. Connective words are used well, maintaining cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. However, some points seem abrupt and could have been linked together more smoothly.
Lexical Resource: 7
The student makes use of a wide range of vocabulary, sufficiently expressing their ideas. Some interesting phrases and expressions are used effectively, demonstrating a strong vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The majority of sentences are free from errors, yet some awkward sentence structures seem present. However, compound and complex sentences are generally used and controlled accurately.
Overall: 6.5
The essay meets the task's demands mostly, demonstrating sufficient coherence, grammar and lexical resource. The usage of examples to illustrate ideas is effective. Improvements can be made in how the points are cohesively linked, and grammatical accuracy could be enhanced.
Task Response: 7
The student responds to the task appropriately, providing clear reasons for why he believes that international events are important. Examples are used to support the ideas. Main ideas are developed adequately, demonstrating a comprehension of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Ideas are logically sequenced. Connective words are used well, maintaining cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. However, some points seem abrupt and could have been linked together more smoothly.
Lexical Resource: 7
The student makes use of a wide range of vocabulary, sufficiently expressing their ideas. Some interesting phrases and expressions are used effectively, demonstrating a strong vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The majority of sentences are free from errors, yet some awkward sentence structures seem present. However, compound and complex sentences are generally used and controlled accurately.
Overall: 6.5
The essay meets the task's demands mostly, demonstrating sufficient coherence, grammar and lexical resource. The usage of examples to illustrate ideas is effective. Improvements can be made in how the points are cohesively linked, and grammatical accuracy could be enhanced.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
It is important to be concerned about international events, even if those events have no direct impact on our lives.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Essay:
While some individuals may argue that international events and affairs, which seemingly have no direct repercussions on our daily lives, are irrelevant for us to take notice of, I would argue the contrary. In the era of technological advancements, where the world is significantly interconnected, global issues inevitably hold an impact.
Built upon the foundations of the Industrial Revolution's technological advances, the line between local and global problems has increasingly become blurred. Take for example the fluctuating prices of the American dollar and oil, global commodities that have a ripple effect across the world. The far-reaching influence of these products prompts governments globally to shape their economic strategies in response, highlighting how intertwined we are in this global framework.
Further highlighting the importance of global awareness, we have to take into account the immense potential for societies to share similar issues, learning from each other's experiences. A noteworthy comparison can be drawn between the societal issues in Japan and Korea. Japan, being an early developed nation, faced declining fertility rates and increasing unemployment issues - much like those faced by European nations. Fast forward to today, Korea, in its progressive march towards development, is also grappling with these problems. Consequently, understanding the trajectory of others can equip us to better predict and navigate our own societal challenges.
In conclusion, being attuned to international events and issues is quintessential, not just for acknowledging our interconnected world but also for learning from others' experiences, as we are part of this global ecosystem.
Word count: 257
Essay translated in Korean:
일부 개인들은 우리의 일상생활에 직접적인 영향을 미치지 않는 국제 이벤트와 사안이 우리에게 없다고 주장 할 수 있지만, 저는 그 반대를 주장하고 싶습니다. 테크놀로지가 발전 한 시대에서, 세계는 상당히 상호 연결되어 있으며, 글로벌 문제는 불가피하게 영향을 미칩니다.
산업혁명의 기술 발전을 기반으로 한 국내 및 국제 문제 사이의 대척점은 점점 안개 속으로 사라지고 있습니다. 세계적인 상품인 미국 달러 및 원유 가격 등의 변동을 예로 들 수 있습니다. 이러한 제품의 장기적인 영향으로 인해 정부는 그에 대한 전략을 모든 정부가 변경하는 것에 대한 대안을 형성하여 얼마나 우리가 이 글로벌 구조에 얽혀 있는지 보여줍니다.
일본과 한국 사회에서 겪는 문제 비교가 중요한 사례는 글로벌 인식의 중요성을 강조합니다. 일찌감치 발전한 나라인 일본은 출산율 하락과 실업 문제에 직면했습니다. 에폭 에서 그들이 마주하고 있는 문제이며 현재 한국은 급속하게 발전하면서 이러한 문제에 직면하고 있습니다.
결론적으로, 국제 이벤트 및 문제에 순응을 이해하는 것은 불만이 아닙니다. 우리는 각각의 경험을 배우고, 글로벌 생태계의 한 부분이기 때문에 이를 이해하는 것이 필수적입니다.
Good expressions:
1. ripple effect - 파장, 연쇄 반응
2. far-reaching influence - 장기적인 영향
3. trajectory of others - 타인의 행적, 방향성
4. attuned to - 에 순응하는
5. quintessential - 본질적인
While some individuals may argue that international events and affairs, which seemingly have no direct repercussions on our daily lives, are irrelevant for us to take notice of, I would argue the contrary. In the era of technological advancements, where the world is significantly interconnected, global issues inevitably hold an impact.
Built upon the foundations of the Industrial Revolution's technological advances, the line between local and global problems has increasingly become blurred. Take for example the fluctuating prices of the American dollar and oil, global commodities that have a ripple effect across the world. The far-reaching influence of these products prompts governments globally to shape their economic strategies in response, highlighting how intertwined we are in this global framework.
Further highlighting the importance of global awareness, we have to take into account the immense potential for societies to share similar issues, learning from each other's experiences. A noteworthy comparison can be drawn between the societal issues in Japan and Korea. Japan, being an early developed nation, faced declining fertility rates and increasing unemployment issues - much like those faced by European nations. Fast forward to today, Korea, in its progressive march towards development, is also grappling with these problems. Consequently, understanding the trajectory of others can equip us to better predict and navigate our own societal challenges.
In conclusion, being attuned to international events and issues is quintessential, not just for acknowledging our interconnected world but also for learning from others' experiences, as we are part of this global ecosystem.
Word count: 257
Essay translated in Korean:
일부 개인들은 우리의 일상생활에 직접적인 영향을 미치지 않는 국제 이벤트와 사안이 우리에게 없다고 주장 할 수 있지만, 저는 그 반대를 주장하고 싶습니다. 테크놀로지가 발전 한 시대에서, 세계는 상당히 상호 연결되어 있으며, 글로벌 문제는 불가피하게 영향을 미칩니다.
산업혁명의 기술 발전을 기반으로 한 국내 및 국제 문제 사이의 대척점은 점점 안개 속으로 사라지고 있습니다. 세계적인 상품인 미국 달러 및 원유 가격 등의 변동을 예로 들 수 있습니다. 이러한 제품의 장기적인 영향으로 인해 정부는 그에 대한 전략을 모든 정부가 변경하는 것에 대한 대안을 형성하여 얼마나 우리가 이 글로벌 구조에 얽혀 있는지 보여줍니다.
일본과 한국 사회에서 겪는 문제 비교가 중요한 사례는 글로벌 인식의 중요성을 강조합니다. 일찌감치 발전한 나라인 일본은 출산율 하락과 실업 문제에 직면했습니다. 에폭 에서 그들이 마주하고 있는 문제이며 현재 한국은 급속하게 발전하면서 이러한 문제에 직면하고 있습니다.
결론적으로, 국제 이벤트 및 문제에 순응을 이해하는 것은 불만이 아닙니다. 우리는 각각의 경험을 배우고, 글로벌 생태계의 한 부분이기 때문에 이를 이해하는 것이 필수적입니다.
Good expressions:
1. ripple effect - 파장, 연쇄 반응
2. far-reaching influence - 장기적인 영향
3. trajectory of others - 타인의 행적, 방향성
4. attuned to - 에 순응하는
5. quintessential - 본질적인
제출한 라이팅
It is a common belief that we don't need to be concerned about international affairs because they don't exert an impact on our daily lives directly.
However, i firmly believe that it is necessary for us to have an interest in international concerns as well as domestic ones, because nearly all the countries of the world have gradually been connected with one another with technological development, and the worldwide issues might have a direct effect on countries which their issues don't affect at the present.
The differences between international and domestic problems has increasingly blurred as scientific technology continues to advance since the Industrial Revolution of the UK, which leads to a specific problem resulting from diverse reasons.
For example, The fluctuated prices of American dollars and crude oil have great influences on people from all over the world, most of governments enact economic policies accordingly.
On top of that, we need to prevent the international issues and try to learn the events of the globe thoroughly because we someday could suffer from the problems in the same way.
Let's take examples of japanese society compared to modern kokrean society.
Japanese social members from the past have undergone the issues including lower fertility rate and higher unemployment rate as they belonged to the advanced society as other European developed countries experienced.
but now, Koreans have started to experience the similar phenomena japan has suffered over the last decade, which has brought about sudden changes to the korea's society as well.
However, i firmly believe that it is necessary for us to have an interest in international concerns as well as domestic ones, because nearly all the countries of the world have gradually been connected with one another with technological development, and the worldwide issues might have a direct effect on countries which their issues don't affect at the present.
The differences between international and domestic problems has increasingly blurred as scientific technology continues to advance since the Industrial Revolution of the UK, which leads to a specific problem resulting from diverse reasons.
For example, The fluctuated prices of American dollars and crude oil have great influences on people from all over the world, most of governments enact economic policies accordingly.
On top of that, we need to prevent the international issues and try to learn the events of the globe thoroughly because we someday could suffer from the problems in the same way.
Let's take examples of japanese society compared to modern kokrean society.
Japanese social members from the past have undergone the issues including lower fertility rate and higher unemployment rate as they belonged to the advanced society as other European developed countries experienced.
but now, Koreans have started to experience the similar phenomena japan has suffered over the last decade, which has brought about sudden changes to the korea's society as well.
공유
back to list 😎
