AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
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Mr. Barrett has adversited for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Battett. In yout letter suggest how you could help her and say why you would like to do this work
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The student does a sufficient job in addressing the task, proposing how they could help Mrs. Barrett with her house chores and taking care of her pet. However, the persuasion of their potential skills and suitability for the job could be enhanced further.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
Ideas are generally sequenced logically and there is a clear progression throughout the letter. Some points, particularly about the writer's inability to work on Mondays, could be better integrated.
Lexical Resource: 7
A wide range of vocabulary is used, however some spelling mistakes (e.g. "laundary", "vaccum") and incorrect noun usage (e.g. "profession worker" instead of "professional worker") detract from the score.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors ("I am unable to every Monday", "I did take care" instead of "I used to take care").
Overall: 7
The student demonstrates a satisfactory level of ability. To improve, they should focus on eliminating minor spelling and grammar mistakes, and better structure their arguments to effectively present their suitability for the job.
Task Response: 7
The student does a sufficient job in addressing the task, proposing how they could help Mrs. Barrett with her house chores and taking care of her pet. However, the persuasion of their potential skills and suitability for the job could be enhanced further.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
Ideas are generally sequenced logically and there is a clear progression throughout the letter. Some points, particularly about the writer's inability to work on Mondays, could be better integrated.
Lexical Resource: 7
A wide range of vocabulary is used, however some spelling mistakes (e.g. "laundary", "vaccum") and incorrect noun usage (e.g. "profession worker" instead of "professional worker") detract from the score.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors ("I am unable to every Monday", "I did take care" instead of "I used to take care").
Overall: 7
The student demonstrates a satisfactory level of ability. To improve, they should focus on eliminating minor spelling and grammar mistakes, and better structure their arguments to effectively present their suitability for the job.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Mr. Barrett has adversited for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Battett. In yout letter suggest how you could help her and say why you would like to do this work
Essay:
Dear Mrs Barrett,
Greetings! My name is Min Oh and I am reaching out in response to the advertisement for a part-time house help during the summer that was put up in the Halifax public library.
My interest in applying lies in the opportunity to help manage your household chores and take responsibility for your dog. I've always harbored an affinity for pets but was unable to have any due to my mom's allergy to animal fur. Hence, taking care of your pet feels like an unexpected bonus and I assure you, your dog would be in reliable hands.
In addition to this, my five years of experience in various household chores would help in ensuring your home stays just as you wish. I have practiced skills in laundry, vacuuming, watering plants during my summer vacations right from my middle school years. These experiences have equipped me to aptly handle the various chores around the house.
However, I would not be able to provide my services on Mondays as I am enrolled in an English Institute to enhance my language skills during the next summer. Nevertheless, I am confident that this commitment will not diminish my ability to perform productively for the rest of the week.
I appreciate your consideration and I am truly looking forward to the possibility of working with you this coming summer.
Yours sincerely,
Min Oh
Word count: 223
Essay translated in Korean:
바렛트 여사님,
인사드립니다! 제 이름은 민 오이고 하발팩 공공 도서관에 게시된 여름동안의 알바를 찾고 있는 광고를 보고 연락 드립니다.
제가 지원하게 된 이유는 집안일을 도와드리고 가정 반려견을 돌봐드릴 수 있는 기회가 있다는 것입니다. 예쁜 애완 동물은 항상 좋아했지만, 어머니가 동물의 털에 알레르기가 있어서 키울 수 없었습니다. 그러므로, 반려견을 돌볼 수 있는 것은 예상치 못한 보너스처럼 느껴지고, 반려견은 제 믿음직한 손에 맡겨질 것이라고 장담드립니다.
이 외에도, 저는 5년 동안의 다양한 집안일 경험이 있어서, 집을 원하는 대로 유지할 수 있도록 도울 수 있습니다. 저는 중학교 때부터 방학 동안 세탁, 진공청소, 식물 물주기 등 다양한 집안일을 배워왔습니다. 이러한 경험은 저에게 집에서 다양한 집안일을 충분히 다룰 수 있는 능력을 주었습니다.
하지만, 다음 여름에 영어 실력을 향상시키기 위해서 영어 학원에 다니고 있어서 월요일에는 제 서비스를 제공하지 못하게 됩니다. 그러나 이러한 사항이 전 주 중 나머지 날에 생산적으로 활동하는 능력을 감소시키지는 않을 것이라는 점을 확신드립니다.
저의 지원을 고려해 주셔서 감사합니다. 오는 여름, 귀하와 함께 일할 수 있는 가능성을 고대하고 있습니다.
감사합니다,
민 오
Good expressions:
1. reaching out in response to [응답하다]
2. harbored an affinity for [~에 대한 친근감을 품다]
3. equipped me to aptly handle [적절히 다룰 수 있도록 갖추다]
4. diminish my ability to perform productively [생산적으로 활동하는 능력을 감소시키다]
5. truly looking forward to the possibility [진정으로 ~ 가능성을 기대하다]
Dear Mrs Barrett,
Greetings! My name is Min Oh and I am reaching out in response to the advertisement for a part-time house help during the summer that was put up in the Halifax public library.
My interest in applying lies in the opportunity to help manage your household chores and take responsibility for your dog. I've always harbored an affinity for pets but was unable to have any due to my mom's allergy to animal fur. Hence, taking care of your pet feels like an unexpected bonus and I assure you, your dog would be in reliable hands.
In addition to this, my five years of experience in various household chores would help in ensuring your home stays just as you wish. I have practiced skills in laundry, vacuuming, watering plants during my summer vacations right from my middle school years. These experiences have equipped me to aptly handle the various chores around the house.
However, I would not be able to provide my services on Mondays as I am enrolled in an English Institute to enhance my language skills during the next summer. Nevertheless, I am confident that this commitment will not diminish my ability to perform productively for the rest of the week.
I appreciate your consideration and I am truly looking forward to the possibility of working with you this coming summer.
Yours sincerely,
Min Oh
Word count: 223
Essay translated in Korean:
바렛트 여사님,
인사드립니다! 제 이름은 민 오이고 하발팩 공공 도서관에 게시된 여름동안의 알바를 찾고 있는 광고를 보고 연락 드립니다.
제가 지원하게 된 이유는 집안일을 도와드리고 가정 반려견을 돌봐드릴 수 있는 기회가 있다는 것입니다. 예쁜 애완 동물은 항상 좋아했지만, 어머니가 동물의 털에 알레르기가 있어서 키울 수 없었습니다. 그러므로, 반려견을 돌볼 수 있는 것은 예상치 못한 보너스처럼 느껴지고, 반려견은 제 믿음직한 손에 맡겨질 것이라고 장담드립니다.
이 외에도, 저는 5년 동안의 다양한 집안일 경험이 있어서, 집을 원하는 대로 유지할 수 있도록 도울 수 있습니다. 저는 중학교 때부터 방학 동안 세탁, 진공청소, 식물 물주기 등 다양한 집안일을 배워왔습니다. 이러한 경험은 저에게 집에서 다양한 집안일을 충분히 다룰 수 있는 능력을 주었습니다.
하지만, 다음 여름에 영어 실력을 향상시키기 위해서 영어 학원에 다니고 있어서 월요일에는 제 서비스를 제공하지 못하게 됩니다. 그러나 이러한 사항이 전 주 중 나머지 날에 생산적으로 활동하는 능력을 감소시키지는 않을 것이라는 점을 확신드립니다.
저의 지원을 고려해 주셔서 감사합니다. 오는 여름, 귀하와 함께 일할 수 있는 가능성을 고대하고 있습니다.
감사합니다,
민 오
Good expressions:
1. reaching out in response to [응답하다]
2. harbored an affinity for [~에 대한 친근감을 품다]
3. equipped me to aptly handle [적절히 다룰 수 있도록 갖추다]
4. diminish my ability to perform productively [생산적으로 활동하는 능력을 감소시키다]
5. truly looking forward to the possibility [진정으로 ~ 가능성을 기대하다]
제출한 라이팅
Dear Mrs Barrett,
I am writing this letter to express that I am interested in summer job for your house chores. I came across your advertisement for summer job at the halifax public libary. I think that is a great opportunity for me. This is because I have a plenty of time in next summer and I can play with your dog. To be honest, I love pet but I couldn’t raise any pet because my mom has allergy to animals fur so, I surely take care of your dog rather than others. Additionallly, I have had some experience about house chores such as laundary, vaccum, watering plants, take care of pet and so on over 5 years. I did take care of some house work every summer vacation after middle school.
I am pretty sure that I am a profession worker for this job.
I am just telling you that I am unable to every Monday because I should go to English institute. Recently, I am planning to improve my english in next summer.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
Min Oh
I am writing this letter to express that I am interested in summer job for your house chores. I came across your advertisement for summer job at the halifax public libary. I think that is a great opportunity for me. This is because I have a plenty of time in next summer and I can play with your dog. To be honest, I love pet but I couldn’t raise any pet because my mom has allergy to animals fur so, I surely take care of your dog rather than others. Additionallly, I have had some experience about house chores such as laundary, vaccum, watering plants, take care of pet and so on over 5 years. I did take care of some house work every summer vacation after middle school.
I am pretty sure that I am a profession worker for this job.
I am just telling you that I am unable to every Monday because I should go to English institute. Recently, I am planning to improve my english in next summer.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
Min Oh
공유
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