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모범답안 5-8월호 출시
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  • Discussion

Some people say that students should not be exposed to teacher’s opinions on social and political issues in the classroom. Others, however, think that it is helpful for students to hear various perspectives.Discuss both these views and give your opio

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    Evaluation:

    Task Response: 6
    The essay generally addresses the task. It presents both sides of the argument, although the personal viewpoint is not clear until the concluding paragraph. The student's arguments are relevant and supported with examples. However, the paragraph about the benefits of learning about social and political issues could be developed more.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 6
    Ideas follow logically from one to another and there is a clear overall progression, but the essay can be challenging to follow at times due to unusual word choices and sentence structures. The use of linking words and phrases is evident but some of the connections between ideas are unclear.

    Lexical Resource: 6
    There is a good range of vocabulary used, even though there are errors in word choice and usage. Collocation errors and inappropriate term of phrases contribute to confusion in some spots.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 5
    There is a mix of simple and complex structures used in the essay, but the student makes several notable grammatical errors that obstruct understanding. These errors include incorrect use of articles, problems with subject-verb agreement and awkward sentence constructions.

    Overall: 6
    The student’s essay does meet the task demand with minor deviances. They show an effort to connect ideas and use diverse vocabulary, although these efforts are sometimes hampered by inaccuracies and unclear expression. Similarly, while the student attempts to use a variety of grammatical structures, there are enough errors present to distract from the overall meaning.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    Some people say that students should not be exposed to teacher’s opinions on social and political issues in the classroom. Others, however, think that it is helpful for students to hear various perspectives.Discuss both these views and give your opio
    Essay:
    The debate over whether social and political issues should be discussed in schools is a contentious one. Some argue that students should not be subject to teacher’s perspectives, while others believe understanding different viewpoints is critical to their education.

    On one hand, classroom instruction is typically centered on core academic subjects like mathematics, languages, and science. Introducing social and political issues may complicate this focus, potentially causing confusion among students. Given that these subjects are often provocative, they could overshadow other areas of study. Additionally, as students are in their formative years, they may struggle to process these complex issues maturely, leading to unforeseen consequences. Furthermore, discussing these potentially contentious topics may expose students to harmful aspects of society, like inappropriate social media behavior or political misconduct.

    On the other hand, as society evolves, providing students with a rounded education, including exposure to diverse experiences, is essential. In a digital age, teenagers have access to ample information at a rapid pace. Introducing social and political issues in a controlled environment like a school can help arm students with the knowledge to navigate these topics responsibly. Moreover, dealing with these issues firsthand can broaden a student's perspective and contribute to their overall growth.

    In conclusion, despite potential complications that arise from discussing social and political issues in schools, I believe it is beneficial for students. The exposure to diverse perspectives can aid in their maturity and understanding of the world around them.

    Word count: 262

    Essay translated in Korean:

    학교에서 사회와 정치 문제를 논의해야 하는지에 대한 논쟁은 분쟁의 여지가 있습니다. 일부는 학생들이 교사들의 견해에 영향을 받아서는 안된다고 주장하며, 다른 일부는 다양한 견해를 이해하는 것이 학생들의 교육에 중요하다고 믿습니다.

    한편으로는 교실 수업은 일반적으로 수학, 언어, 과학과 같은 핵심 학문과목을 중심으로 이루어집니다. 사회와 정치 문제를 도입하면 이에 혼란이 생길 가능성이 있습니다. 이러한 주제들은 때때로 선동적이기 때문에 다른 학문 분야보다 우선시 될 수 있습니다. 또한, 학생들이 성장하는 중이기 때문에 이러한 복잡한 문제들을 성숙하게 처리하는데 어려움을 겪을 수 있으며, 이로 인해 예상치 못한 결과가 발생할 수 있습니다. 또한, 이러한 분쟁의 여지가 있는 주제를 논의함으로써 학생들은 부적절한 소셜미디어 행동이나 정치적 비행과 같은 사회의 해로운 측면들에 노출될 수 있습니다.

    다른 한편으로는 사회가 발전함에 따라, 학생들에게 다양한 경험을 포함한 교육을 제공하는 것이 필수적입니다. 디지털 시대에는 청소년들이 빠른 속도로 많은 정보를 접할 수 있습니다. 학교와 같은 통제 가능한 환경에서 사회와 정치 문제를 소개함으로써 학생들이 이러한 주제들을 책임감 있게 다루는 데 필요한 지식을 갖추는 데 도움이 될 수 있습니다. 또한, 이러한 문제를 직접 다루게 되면 학생들의 시야를 넓히고 총체적인 성장에 기여할 수 있습니다.

    결론적으로, 학교에서 사회와 정치 문제를 논의함으로 인한 잠재적인 문제점들에도 불구하고, 이는 학생들에게 유익하다고 믿습니다. 다양한 관점에 노출되는 것은 그들의 성숙함과 주변 세상에 대한 이해에 도움이 될 수 있습니다.

    Good expressions:

    1. "contentious one" - 분쟁의 여지가 있는
    2. "core academic subjects" - 핵심 학문과목
    3. "foreseen consequences" - 예상치 못한 결과
    4. "controlled environment" - 통제 가능한 환경
    5. "broaden a student's perspective" - 학생들의 시야를 넓히다.
    제출한 라이팅
    Some people argue that social and political trends should not be able to students by school, while others contend that various views could be helpful for students. Both views can be persuasive, but I partly agree with the latter opinion.

    To begin with, school is the place, where study the basic subjects such as mathematics, languages, science, and sociology. However, if their study significantly related to social and political to students could be confused to what is the priority. Since social and political issues are provocative, this could be prioritized than other subjects. Also, students are still growing up, it is likely to lose of control themselves, and they could act unpredictively. Additionally, social, and political issues can be dangerous to students. As known as, those are various situations, such as rubbish political world, wrong behavior in social media. Thus, it is inappropriate to teenager.

    On the other hand, as eras changed, to improve level of education, students have to get various experiences early. Nowadays, teenagers can access society through the internet as possible as quickly. Therefore, if they realize issues about social and political in advance, it will be prevented to wrong behavior in school. Moreover, various experience helps growth of students. Individuals can learn and study through various experiences. If social and political issues are suffered from students who did not experience, they would get more difficulties. Thus, various experiences will have positive effects in the future.

    In conclusion, while there are some negative impacts on learning social and political issues in school, I believe that due to those learning also experience, students can grow up through it. That is why, students should encourage various experiences.

    공유

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