AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Discussion
In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? (0425)
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6.0
The writer addresses the topic, presenting several advantages and disadvantages. However, the points sometimes lack clarity and depth. Specifically, the introduction and conclusion paragraphs don't quite answer the prompt directly.
Coherence & Cohesion: 5.5
The information and ideas are organised but the use of cohesion markers ('for starters,' 'in addition') sometimes seem forced. The logical progression of arguments is not always clear. There are also attempts at giving examples but the connection to the main points is often unclear.
Lexical Resource: 6.0
The writer shows a decent range of vocabulary, but some expressions seem linguistically awkward and forced (i.e. "phenomena seem to be detrimental" or "trends seem to be disadvantageous"). Misuse of terms can confuse the reader ('keens to purchase').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 5.5
The writer demonstrates a range of structures. However, there are grammatical errors and incorrect sentences structures that hinder understanding. An example is "it is hard for customers to choose they eager to buy the products."
Overall: 5.75
The student presented a reasonable effort but lacks clarity in points and has several language inaccuracies. With improved accuracy in grammar and clearer argument development, the score could increase.
Task Response: 6.0
The writer addresses the topic, presenting several advantages and disadvantages. However, the points sometimes lack clarity and depth. Specifically, the introduction and conclusion paragraphs don't quite answer the prompt directly.
Coherence & Cohesion: 5.5
The information and ideas are organised but the use of cohesion markers ('for starters,' 'in addition') sometimes seem forced. The logical progression of arguments is not always clear. There are also attempts at giving examples but the connection to the main points is often unclear.
Lexical Resource: 6.0
The writer shows a decent range of vocabulary, but some expressions seem linguistically awkward and forced (i.e. "phenomena seem to be detrimental" or "trends seem to be disadvantageous"). Misuse of terms can confuse the reader ('keens to purchase').
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 5.5
The writer demonstrates a range of structures. However, there are grammatical errors and incorrect sentences structures that hinder understanding. An example is "it is hard for customers to choose they eager to buy the products."
Overall: 5.75
The student presented a reasonable effort but lacks clarity in points and has several language inaccuracies. With improved accuracy in grammar and clearer argument development, the score could increase.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? (0425)
Essay:
Urban city planners deliberately segregate specific facilities such as offices, schools, homes and shops into separate regions. This strategy, while having its merits and demerits, appears, to my mind, to outweigh the disadvantages in the long run.
Separation of facilities notably carries negative implications to city dwellers. The major downside is the inconvenience due to distance between these facilities leading to a longer commute time. This is further exacerbated with public transport inefficiencies. Moreover, a high level of competition among businesses in specified areas could make it difficult for customers to make choices, potentially leading to customer fatigue. For example, during a winter vacation with a friend, navigating towards our desired Chinese restaurant was difficult as the surrounding facilities were identical, reflecting limited city planning.
However, I feel that these inconveniences are ameliorated by the benefits. The essential advantage is that when shops are clustered, it becomes easier to compare goods and thus, make informed purchases. This was evident when I went shopping with my parents last summer to buy a skirt and having all options in one location simplified comparisons for us. Moreover, competition can stimulate businesses to improve their quality offering, translating to better choices for consumers.
In summation, despite the potential challenges faced by city dwellers due to the segregation of facilities, the advantages seem to outweigh the detriments, making it a sensible decision taken by urban planners.
Word count: 262
Essay translated in Korean:
도시 계획자들은 일부러 사무실, 학교, 가정, 상점과 같은 특정 시설을 별개의 지역으로 분리합니다. 이 전략은 장단점이 있지만, 제 생각에는 결국 단점을 상회한다고 보입니다.
시설 분리는 특히 도시 거주민들에게 부정적인 영향을 미칩니다. 주요한 단점은 이러한 시설들 사이의 거리로 인한 불편함과 더 긴 통근 시간입니다. 이는 대중 교통의 비효율성으로 더욱 악화됩니다. 더구나, 지정된 지역의 기업간의 고도의 경쟁은 고객이 선택하기 어렵게 만들 수 있어 고객 피로를 초래할 수 있습니다. 예를 들어, 친구와 함께 겨울 휴가를 보내면서 우리가 원하는 중국식당으로 찾아가는 것이 어렵었습니다. 주변 시설이 모두 똑같아 도시 계획이 제한된 것을 반영했습니다.
그러나 이러한 불편함은 이점으로 서서히 완화된다고 느낍니다. 본질적인 이점은 상점이 무리지어 있을 때 상품을 비교하고 그러므로 통찰력 있는 구매를 하는 것이 쉬워진다는 것입니다. 이것은 작년 여름에 부모님과 함께 치마를 사러 쇼핑 갔을 때 분명했습니다. 또한, 경쟁은 기업들이 그들의 품질을 높이는 자극을 줄 수 있습니다, 그러므로 고객들에게 더 나은 선택을 제공합니다.
결론적으로, 시설의 분리로 인해 도시 거주민들이 직면할 가능성이 있는 도전에도 불구하고, 이점이 단점을 상회하는 것으로 보이므로 도시 계획자들이 취한 합리적인 결정이라고 할 수 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. "deliberately segregate" - 고의적으로 분리하다
2. "potential challenges faced by city dwellers" - 도시 거주민들이 직면할 가능성 있는 도전
3. "competition can stimulate businesses" - 경쟁은 기업을 자극할 수 있다
4. "informed purchases" - 통찰력 있는 구매
5. "outweigh the detriments" - 단점을 상회하다
Urban city planners deliberately segregate specific facilities such as offices, schools, homes and shops into separate regions. This strategy, while having its merits and demerits, appears, to my mind, to outweigh the disadvantages in the long run.
Separation of facilities notably carries negative implications to city dwellers. The major downside is the inconvenience due to distance between these facilities leading to a longer commute time. This is further exacerbated with public transport inefficiencies. Moreover, a high level of competition among businesses in specified areas could make it difficult for customers to make choices, potentially leading to customer fatigue. For example, during a winter vacation with a friend, navigating towards our desired Chinese restaurant was difficult as the surrounding facilities were identical, reflecting limited city planning.
However, I feel that these inconveniences are ameliorated by the benefits. The essential advantage is that when shops are clustered, it becomes easier to compare goods and thus, make informed purchases. This was evident when I went shopping with my parents last summer to buy a skirt and having all options in one location simplified comparisons for us. Moreover, competition can stimulate businesses to improve their quality offering, translating to better choices for consumers.
In summation, despite the potential challenges faced by city dwellers due to the segregation of facilities, the advantages seem to outweigh the detriments, making it a sensible decision taken by urban planners.
Word count: 262
Essay translated in Korean:
도시 계획자들은 일부러 사무실, 학교, 가정, 상점과 같은 특정 시설을 별개의 지역으로 분리합니다. 이 전략은 장단점이 있지만, 제 생각에는 결국 단점을 상회한다고 보입니다.
시설 분리는 특히 도시 거주민들에게 부정적인 영향을 미칩니다. 주요한 단점은 이러한 시설들 사이의 거리로 인한 불편함과 더 긴 통근 시간입니다. 이는 대중 교통의 비효율성으로 더욱 악화됩니다. 더구나, 지정된 지역의 기업간의 고도의 경쟁은 고객이 선택하기 어렵게 만들 수 있어 고객 피로를 초래할 수 있습니다. 예를 들어, 친구와 함께 겨울 휴가를 보내면서 우리가 원하는 중국식당으로 찾아가는 것이 어렵었습니다. 주변 시설이 모두 똑같아 도시 계획이 제한된 것을 반영했습니다.
그러나 이러한 불편함은 이점으로 서서히 완화된다고 느낍니다. 본질적인 이점은 상점이 무리지어 있을 때 상품을 비교하고 그러므로 통찰력 있는 구매를 하는 것이 쉬워진다는 것입니다. 이것은 작년 여름에 부모님과 함께 치마를 사러 쇼핑 갔을 때 분명했습니다. 또한, 경쟁은 기업들이 그들의 품질을 높이는 자극을 줄 수 있습니다, 그러므로 고객들에게 더 나은 선택을 제공합니다.
결론적으로, 시설의 분리로 인해 도시 거주민들이 직면할 가능성이 있는 도전에도 불구하고, 이점이 단점을 상회하는 것으로 보이므로 도시 계획자들이 취한 합리적인 결정이라고 할 수 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. "deliberately segregate" - 고의적으로 분리하다
2. "potential challenges faced by city dwellers" - 도시 거주민들이 직면할 가능성 있는 도전
3. "competition can stimulate businesses" - 경쟁은 기업을 자극할 수 있다
4. "informed purchases" - 통찰력 있는 구매
5. "outweigh the detriments" - 단점을 상회하다
제출한 라이팅
There is an argument that centers on inclinations by which to have merits or demerits. Even though phenomena seem to be detrimental, in my opinion, I believe it truly overrides the disadvantages.
On the one hand, I highly believe that urban areas separating facilities have the disadvantages. For starters, It is inconvenient for residents to walk distance because there are a lot of public transports to take more commute time. In addition, competition can be very fierce for shops and other facilities in the same location. Therefore, it is hard for customers to choose they eager to buy the products. As a consequence, uncomfortable trends and excessive competitions will make people to be reluctant to live and come. Furthermore, less money will be generated. This is why, for example, when I met my friend to go the Chinese restaurant in last winter vacation, we saw everything looked alike. If we knew what public transportation operate to right way, we would not lose our way.
On the other hand, I thoroughly believe that planners incline to locate in particular areas have the advantages. Essentially speaking, It is easy to compare and choose the products someone keens to purchase so it can save times. An excellent illustration of this is, I went to shopping with my parents to buy a skirt in last summer. If there were not specific local district for shops, we could not compare the goods easily. On top of that, competing each other makes better quality. As a result, consumers will have benefits a lot. Last but not least, a lot of options make more favourtable outcomes for users.
In conclusion, although trends seem to be disadvantageous, in my point-of-view, I am convinced that it’s honestly greater than the drawback.
On the one hand, I highly believe that urban areas separating facilities have the disadvantages. For starters, It is inconvenient for residents to walk distance because there are a lot of public transports to take more commute time. In addition, competition can be very fierce for shops and other facilities in the same location. Therefore, it is hard for customers to choose they eager to buy the products. As a consequence, uncomfortable trends and excessive competitions will make people to be reluctant to live and come. Furthermore, less money will be generated. This is why, for example, when I met my friend to go the Chinese restaurant in last winter vacation, we saw everything looked alike. If we knew what public transportation operate to right way, we would not lose our way.
On the other hand, I thoroughly believe that planners incline to locate in particular areas have the advantages. Essentially speaking, It is easy to compare and choose the products someone keens to purchase so it can save times. An excellent illustration of this is, I went to shopping with my parents to buy a skirt in last summer. If there were not specific local district for shops, we could not compare the goods easily. On top of that, competing each other makes better quality. As a result, consumers will have benefits a lot. Last but not least, a lot of options make more favourtable outcomes for users.
In conclusion, although trends seem to be disadvantageous, in my point-of-view, I am convinced that it’s honestly greater than the drawback.
공유
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