AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Discussion
People can live and work anywhere they want because of improved communication technology and transport. What are the advantages and disadvantges of this development?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7]
The candidate addressed the task adequately, providing relevant examples and bringing out both advantages and disadvantages of the topic. However, the thesis statement in the introduction could have been stronger and more specific as this forms the basis of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay is structured with clear paragraphs, each outlining different points. However, there is a lack of cohesive devices and clarity in ideas, particularly in the disadvantages paragraph.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The essay demonstrates a good command of vocabulary and a good effort to use varied language. However, there are certain phrases that are incorrectly used like 'with just a bottom' and 'overuse the technology' which should be 'at the push of a button' and 'overuse of technology' respectively.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
There is some complex sentence structure and the language control is quite good. However, some sentences are incorrectly formed, example 'there are several drawbacks this issue', and there are minor errors that could be avoided with a careful re-read.
Overall: [6.5]
Overall, the essay meets the task fairly well, with a balanced discussion and appropriate examples. However grammar errors, lexical choices, and lack of cohesiveness may hinder the reader's understanding. The conclusion could also be improved to summarize the essay more effectively.
Task Response: [7]
The candidate addressed the task adequately, providing relevant examples and bringing out both advantages and disadvantages of the topic. However, the thesis statement in the introduction could have been stronger and more specific as this forms the basis of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay is structured with clear paragraphs, each outlining different points. However, there is a lack of cohesive devices and clarity in ideas, particularly in the disadvantages paragraph.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The essay demonstrates a good command of vocabulary and a good effort to use varied language. However, there are certain phrases that are incorrectly used like 'with just a bottom' and 'overuse the technology' which should be 'at the push of a button' and 'overuse of technology' respectively.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
There is some complex sentence structure and the language control is quite good. However, some sentences are incorrectly formed, example 'there are several drawbacks this issue', and there are minor errors that could be avoided with a careful re-read.
Overall: [6.5]
Overall, the essay meets the task fairly well, with a balanced discussion and appropriate examples. However grammar errors, lexical choices, and lack of cohesiveness may hinder the reader's understanding. The conclusion could also be improved to summarize the essay more effectively.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
People can live and work anywhere they want because of improved communication technology and transport. What are the advantages and disadvantges of this development?
Essay:
The advancements in the realms of communication technology and transport have broadened the horizons for individuals to work or reside in any part of the globe. While this development presents its unique advantages, it also has a share of drawbacks.
On the bright side, this rise in technology has exponentially increased the convenience in our lives. High-speed internet allows professionals to collaborate seamlessly on projects regardless of their locations. Moreover, improved transport systems have revolutionized the distribution of goods, enabling individuals to acquire essentials without geographic constraint. This paradigm shift to digital mechanisms has optimized the use of time, thereby accelerating our skill development further.
However, along with these boons comes a set of bane. As technology permeates every aspect of our lives, we are continuously exposing ourselves to potential threats. Our dependence on advanced technology also inadvertently increases the risk of being monitored or exploited. Additionally, the susceptibility of technology misuse by unscrupulous entities is another perpetual concern, which necessitates the need for a robust cyber security framework.
In conclusion, although the advancements in technology and transportation have empowered individuals with unprecedented opportunities, it comes tangled with challenges. Hence, awareness and cautious utilization of these advancements are pivotal to ensuring safety.
Word count: 200
Essay translated in Korean:
통신 기술과 교통 분야의 급격한 발전으로 인해 개인들은 전 세계 어느 곳에서든지 일하거나 거주할 수 있는 가능성이 크게 넓어졌다. 이러한 발전은 독특한 이점을 제공하는 한편, 일부 단점도 가지고 있다.
이 기술의 발전은 우리의 삶에서 편리함이 기하급수적으로 증가했다. 고속 인터넷을 통해 전문가들은 위치에 상관없이 프로젝트에 원활하게 협업할 수 있다. 또한, 개선된 교통 시스템은 상품의 분배를 혁신적으로 혁신적으로 만들어, 개인들이 지리적 제약 없이 필수품을 획득할 수 있게 했다. 이러한 디지털 메커니즘으로의 패러다임 변화는 시간을 최적화하고, 스킬 개발을 더욱 가속화시킨다.
그러나 이러한 이점들과 함께 일련의 문제점이 따라온다. 기술이 우리의 삶의 모든 면에 침투하면서, 우리는 계속해서 잠재적인 위협에 노출되고 있다. 고급 기술에 대한 의존도가 증가함에 따라, 모니터링이나 착취의 위험도 증가한다. 불량한 엔티티에 의한 기술의 악용 가능성은 다른 끊임없는 우려로, 튼튼한 사이버 보안 프레임워크가 필요하다.
결론적으로, 기술과 교통의 발전은 개인에게 전례 없는 기회를 제공하는 한편, 도전과 얽혀 있다. 따라서, 이러한 발전에 대한 인식과 신중한 활용은 안전을 보장하는 데 중요하다.
Good expressions:
1. Broadened the horizons - 가능성을 넓히다
2. Revolutionized the distribution of goods - 상품 분배를 혁신하다
3. Paradigm shift - 패러다임 변화
4. Unprecedented opportunities - 전례 없는 기회
5. Pivotal to ensuring safety - 안전을 보장하는 데 중추적인 역할을 한다.
The advancements in the realms of communication technology and transport have broadened the horizons for individuals to work or reside in any part of the globe. While this development presents its unique advantages, it also has a share of drawbacks.
On the bright side, this rise in technology has exponentially increased the convenience in our lives. High-speed internet allows professionals to collaborate seamlessly on projects regardless of their locations. Moreover, improved transport systems have revolutionized the distribution of goods, enabling individuals to acquire essentials without geographic constraint. This paradigm shift to digital mechanisms has optimized the use of time, thereby accelerating our skill development further.
However, along with these boons comes a set of bane. As technology permeates every aspect of our lives, we are continuously exposing ourselves to potential threats. Our dependence on advanced technology also inadvertently increases the risk of being monitored or exploited. Additionally, the susceptibility of technology misuse by unscrupulous entities is another perpetual concern, which necessitates the need for a robust cyber security framework.
In conclusion, although the advancements in technology and transportation have empowered individuals with unprecedented opportunities, it comes tangled with challenges. Hence, awareness and cautious utilization of these advancements are pivotal to ensuring safety.
Word count: 200
Essay translated in Korean:
통신 기술과 교통 분야의 급격한 발전으로 인해 개인들은 전 세계 어느 곳에서든지 일하거나 거주할 수 있는 가능성이 크게 넓어졌다. 이러한 발전은 독특한 이점을 제공하는 한편, 일부 단점도 가지고 있다.
이 기술의 발전은 우리의 삶에서 편리함이 기하급수적으로 증가했다. 고속 인터넷을 통해 전문가들은 위치에 상관없이 프로젝트에 원활하게 협업할 수 있다. 또한, 개선된 교통 시스템은 상품의 분배를 혁신적으로 혁신적으로 만들어, 개인들이 지리적 제약 없이 필수품을 획득할 수 있게 했다. 이러한 디지털 메커니즘으로의 패러다임 변화는 시간을 최적화하고, 스킬 개발을 더욱 가속화시킨다.
그러나 이러한 이점들과 함께 일련의 문제점이 따라온다. 기술이 우리의 삶의 모든 면에 침투하면서, 우리는 계속해서 잠재적인 위협에 노출되고 있다. 고급 기술에 대한 의존도가 증가함에 따라, 모니터링이나 착취의 위험도 증가한다. 불량한 엔티티에 의한 기술의 악용 가능성은 다른 끊임없는 우려로, 튼튼한 사이버 보안 프레임워크가 필요하다.
결론적으로, 기술과 교통의 발전은 개인에게 전례 없는 기회를 제공하는 한편, 도전과 얽혀 있다. 따라서, 이러한 발전에 대한 인식과 신중한 활용은 안전을 보장하는 데 중요하다.
Good expressions:
1. Broadened the horizons - 가능성을 넓히다
2. Revolutionized the distribution of goods - 상품 분배를 혁신하다
3. Paradigm shift - 패러다임 변화
4. Unprecedented opportunities - 전례 없는 기회
5. Pivotal to ensuring safety - 안전을 보장하는 데 중추적인 역할을 한다.
제출한 라이팅
It is believed that since development of technology, people can do everywhere what they want. I think that this view has both merits and demerits.
To begin with, there are several benefits. Individuals can lead convenient lifestyles. Advanced communication technology and transportation enable them to work from anywhere and disregard distance. For instance, people can address company projects anywhere, thanks to the widespread availability of the internet. Additionally, individuals can obtain all necessary items when they needed. With developed technology and transportation, even without physically moving, they can acquire essential goods around the place. Furthermore, through digital platforms, items located at a distance, it can be quickly delivered. Compared to the past, individuals can use their time more efficiently, thereby, enhancing their skills during the given time.
However, there are also several drawbacks this issue. Firstly, security is vulnerable. As technology advances, various functions can be accessed with just a bottom. Moreover, due to the prevalence of cameras, people can be monitored everywhere, making it easier to make mistakes and encounter dangerous situations. Additionally, some individuals may overuse this technology. Since, society always includes criminals, it is essential to prevent overuse the technology. Thus, usage of advanced technology can make individuals vulnerable to criminals, necessitating awareness of how to avoid becoming victims of crime.
In conclusion, while improved technology and transportation offer both merits and demerits, the drawbacks have more significant negative effects than the benefits. Thus, people must always prevent crime.
To begin with, there are several benefits. Individuals can lead convenient lifestyles. Advanced communication technology and transportation enable them to work from anywhere and disregard distance. For instance, people can address company projects anywhere, thanks to the widespread availability of the internet. Additionally, individuals can obtain all necessary items when they needed. With developed technology and transportation, even without physically moving, they can acquire essential goods around the place. Furthermore, through digital platforms, items located at a distance, it can be quickly delivered. Compared to the past, individuals can use their time more efficiently, thereby, enhancing their skills during the given time.
However, there are also several drawbacks this issue. Firstly, security is vulnerable. As technology advances, various functions can be accessed with just a bottom. Moreover, due to the prevalence of cameras, people can be monitored everywhere, making it easier to make mistakes and encounter dangerous situations. Additionally, some individuals may overuse this technology. Since, society always includes criminals, it is essential to prevent overuse the technology. Thus, usage of advanced technology can make individuals vulnerable to criminals, necessitating awareness of how to avoid becoming victims of crime.
In conclusion, while improved technology and transportation offer both merits and demerits, the drawbacks have more significant negative effects than the benefits. Thus, people must always prevent crime.
공유
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