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  • Opinion

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coaching. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: [7]
    The essay gives a clear answer to the question in the introduction, consistently maintaining the argument throughout the essay. Arguments are developed and extended with relevant examples.

    Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
    The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, although the sentences could sometimes be better linked together and the conclusion could be slightly more detailed.

    Lexical Resource: [7]
    The essay has a good range of vocabulary and is able to discuss the topic with words of varied complexity and specificity. Also, good use of topic-specific vocabulary is observed.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
    There is a good use of a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several errors which are repeated throughout the essay – misuse of articles and prepositions, and incorrect verb forms.

    Overall: [6.5]
    Analyzing the points for each criteria, the overall band score can be considered as 6.5. The candidate needs to work on sentence linking, grammar, and conclusion construction for a higher score.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coaching. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
    Essay:
    In the advanced digital era, online coaching services have witnessed a sharp surge in demand. I am inclined to agree that online coaching outstrips traditional in-person coaching largely due to the time efficiency and the ease of accessing proficient mentors.

    Firstly, the principal advantage that online coaching affords is time-saving convenience. Traditional coaching often necessitates commuting and getting prepared, all of which eats into valuable time. Online coaching, on the other hand, eradicates these issues. For example, in metropolises where traffic congestion is rife, learners are opting for online coaching to bypass time spent in transit. Preparing oneself for an online session takes significantly less time compared to in-person classes, hence making it the more appealing choice.

    Secondly, online coaching renders the task of connecting with adept mentors, regardless of their geographic location, simpler. In this digitized world, distance ceases to remain an obstacle, allowing individuals to participate in classes conducted by renowned professionals from different countries. For instance, globally acclaimed institutions such as Harvard have launched online courses, enabling students worldwide to benefit from their expertise without the challenges of residing abroad.

    In a nutshell, I assert that the benefits of online coaching programs in the contemporary high-tech era, particularly those relating to time efficiency and access to excellent mentors, considerably outnumber those of conventional in-person coaching.

    Word count: 260

    Essay translated in Korean:
    디지털 시대에, 온라인 코칭 서비스에 대한 수요는 급격히 증가하고 있다. 시간 효율성과 능숙한 멘토에게 쉽게 접근할 수 있는 능력으로 볼 때, 온라인 코칭이 전통적인 대면 코칭을 뛰어넘는다고 나는 주장하고 싶다.

    Firstly, [첫째로]
    Secondly, [둘째로]
    In a nutshell, [요약하자면]

    Good expressions:
    1. sharp surge in demand [수요가 급격히 증가하다]
    2. time efficiency [시간 효율성]
    3. eradicates these issues [이 문제들을 제거하다]
    4. ceases to remain an obstacle [장애물이 되지 않다]
    5. considerably outnumber [상당히 많다]
    제출한 라이팅
    Nowadays, the demand for online mentorship programs has gained enormous popularity amongst individuals in this high-tech era. I firmly believe that online coaching is better than the in-person mentoring because of saving time and accessing to great coaches.
    Initially, time-saving is a significant option that online coaching services brings for society. Attending in-person class takes time due to need for transport and prepare themselves which virtues plans don’t require. For instance, attending in online classes in big cities have gained popularity because of avoiding people to get stuck in traffic and waste much time. Preparing themselves for virtues plans takes just a few minutes; however, in-person classes need much more time. So, people choose on-line programs that seems reasonable idea for saving time.
    Moreover, online services create accessibility to great coaches easier and possible. People from around the globe can connect with world best mentors. The matter of distance is not a barrier in this digital world since People with just a phone or laptop can attend classes of best mentors even from different countries. for example, famous universities around the world like Harvard even create an online plan for education which students from around the globe can attend without thinking about the problems of living abroad.
    In conclusion, I totally agree that online programs have numerous plus points in these high-tech era that help people to save more time and access to great mentors easily.

    공유

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