아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Discussion
Human activities have a negative impact on plants and animals around toe world. Some people think it is too late do anything, while others believe actions can be taken to improve the situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6
The writer has addressed the question on both sides of the argument. They explore what has led to the environmental decline, the impact of human activities, and suggest some measures to address the issues. However, some points lack clarity and the writer's personal opinion is not explicitly presented.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and paragraphs are appropriately organized. There is a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is not consistent resulting in lack of clarity in some places.
Lexical Resource: 7
The writer uses a variety of language accurately. There is a good range of vocabulary and phrases but at times the use of certain words seems forced and impedes the clarity of the message.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are awkwardly constructed which may cause difficulty for the reader.
Overall: 6.25
This score was calculated by adding all the individual scores and dividing by 4. The student demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and possesses a good vocabulary range but needs to work on sentence construction and grammatical accuracy. Also, a more explicit presentation of their personal opinion could improve the Task Response score.
Task Response: 6
The writer has addressed the question on both sides of the argument. They explore what has led to the environmental decline, the impact of human activities, and suggest some measures to address the issues. However, some points lack clarity and the writer's personal opinion is not explicitly presented.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and paragraphs are appropriately organized. There is a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is not consistent resulting in lack of clarity in some places.
Lexical Resource: 7
The writer uses a variety of language accurately. There is a good range of vocabulary and phrases but at times the use of certain words seems forced and impedes the clarity of the message.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are awkwardly constructed which may cause difficulty for the reader.
Overall: 6.25
This score was calculated by adding all the individual scores and dividing by 4. The student demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and possesses a good vocabulary range but needs to work on sentence construction and grammatical accuracy. Also, a more explicit presentation of their personal opinion could improve the Task Response score.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Human activities have a negative impact on plants and animals around toe world. Some people think it is too late do anything, while others believe actions can be taken to improve the situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Essay:
The debate over whether it is too late to mitigate the deleterious effects of human activities on the environment is one that continues to engross many. This discourse hinges on the extent of damage already dealt and whether any subsequent efforts can essentially reverse this.
One school of thought posits that the depth of despoliation caused by human activities such as deforestation, technology-induced pollution, and territorial encroachment on wildlife habitats, has spiraled beyond a point of return. This belief is hinged on the pace of our technological advances that, while beneficial to us, often sacrifices the equilibrium of the natural realm. Genetic engineering, for instance, although beneficial in some respects, poses serious threats to biodiversity and natural ecosystems.
On the other hand, optimists believe progress need not be shackled to the degradation of the environment. They argue that with the proper policies and societal awareness, damage to natural habitats can be reversed and the balance restored. Pursuits in technology, some argue, could be redirected towards environmentally friendly solutions and innovations. To affect such desired change, systemic shifts in governmental policies and education focusing on environmental preservation are paramount.
In conclusion, while human developments have undoubtedly had adverse effects on the environment, I believe it is not too late for restorative actions to be taken. With the right balance between human progress and environmental stewardiness, we could chart a more sustainable course for the planet.
Word Count: 256
Essay Translated in Korean:
환경에 대한 인간의 활동이 악영향을 미친다면 조치를 취할 때가 이미 늦었는지 아니면 아직 뭔가를 할 수 있는지에 대한 논쟁은 계속되고 있습니다. 이 논의는 이미 입힌 피해의 정도와 그 이후의 어떤 노력이 이를 기본적으로 되돌릴 수 있는지에 관한 것입니다.
기술 발전 속도는 인간에게 이롭기는 하지만, 자연의 균형을 희생하는 경향이 있습니다. 유전 공학의 경우, 일부에서는 이로움이 있지만, 생물다양성과 자연 생태계에 심각한 위협을 가하고 있습니다.
다른 한편에서는, 적절한 정책과 사회의 인식이 있으면 자연 서식지에 가한 피해를 되돌릴 수 있고 균형을 복원할 수 있다고 말합니다. 기술 추구가 환경 친화적인 해결책과 혁신으로 재지향 될 수 있다는 주장이 있습니다.
결론적으로, 인간의 발전이 환경에Undoubtedly, human developments have undoubtedly had adverse effects on our environment, butI 클래스 believe it is not too late for restorative actions to be taken. With the right balance between human progress and environmental stewardliness, we could chart a more sustainable path for the planet.
Good expressions:
1. deleterious effects - 악영향
2. engross many - 많은 사람들을 사로잡다
3. extent of damage - 피해의 정도
4. deforestation - 삼림 벌채
5. territory encroachment - 영토 침략
6. genetic engineering - 유전 공학
7. systemic shifts - 체계적인 변화
8. environmental preservation - 환경 보존
9. biodiversity - 생물 다양성
10. environmentally friendly solutions - 환경 친화적인 해결책.
The debate over whether it is too late to mitigate the deleterious effects of human activities on the environment is one that continues to engross many. This discourse hinges on the extent of damage already dealt and whether any subsequent efforts can essentially reverse this.
One school of thought posits that the depth of despoliation caused by human activities such as deforestation, technology-induced pollution, and territorial encroachment on wildlife habitats, has spiraled beyond a point of return. This belief is hinged on the pace of our technological advances that, while beneficial to us, often sacrifices the equilibrium of the natural realm. Genetic engineering, for instance, although beneficial in some respects, poses serious threats to biodiversity and natural ecosystems.
On the other hand, optimists believe progress need not be shackled to the degradation of the environment. They argue that with the proper policies and societal awareness, damage to natural habitats can be reversed and the balance restored. Pursuits in technology, some argue, could be redirected towards environmentally friendly solutions and innovations. To affect such desired change, systemic shifts in governmental policies and education focusing on environmental preservation are paramount.
In conclusion, while human developments have undoubtedly had adverse effects on the environment, I believe it is not too late for restorative actions to be taken. With the right balance between human progress and environmental stewardiness, we could chart a more sustainable course for the planet.
Word Count: 256
Essay Translated in Korean:
환경에 대한 인간의 활동이 악영향을 미친다면 조치를 취할 때가 이미 늦었는지 아니면 아직 뭔가를 할 수 있는지에 대한 논쟁은 계속되고 있습니다. 이 논의는 이미 입힌 피해의 정도와 그 이후의 어떤 노력이 이를 기본적으로 되돌릴 수 있는지에 관한 것입니다.
기술 발전 속도는 인간에게 이롭기는 하지만, 자연의 균형을 희생하는 경향이 있습니다. 유전 공학의 경우, 일부에서는 이로움이 있지만, 생물다양성과 자연 생태계에 심각한 위협을 가하고 있습니다.
다른 한편에서는, 적절한 정책과 사회의 인식이 있으면 자연 서식지에 가한 피해를 되돌릴 수 있고 균형을 복원할 수 있다고 말합니다. 기술 추구가 환경 친화적인 해결책과 혁신으로 재지향 될 수 있다는 주장이 있습니다.
결론적으로, 인간의 발전이 환경에Undoubtedly, human developments have undoubtedly had adverse effects on our environment, butI 클래스 believe it is not too late for restorative actions to be taken. With the right balance between human progress and environmental stewardliness, we could chart a more sustainable path for the planet.
Good expressions:
1. deleterious effects - 악영향
2. engross many - 많은 사람들을 사로잡다
3. extent of damage - 피해의 정도
4. deforestation - 삼림 벌채
5. territory encroachment - 영토 침략
6. genetic engineering - 유전 공학
7. systemic shifts - 체계적인 변화
8. environmental preservation - 환경 보존
9. biodiversity - 생물 다양성
10. environmentally friendly solutions - 환경 친화적인 해결책.
제출한 라이팅
It has been an enigmatic quandary as to whether plants and animals still can be preserved by human endeavors. However, it is evident that the environment was already destroyed by people and it would not change before. The scope and breadth of highly developed genetic engineering technology and the destruction of wild species’ habitats are two paragons that reflect my point precisely.
To begin with, a destroyed environment is a crucial problem in modern society. In contemporary society, where individuals are still developing technologies to enhance their lifestyles, a lot of nature and animals have been losing their habitats. Those improved technologies, such as artificial intelligent systems, abundant waste landfilled, and massively constructed apartments, not only provide a lot of conveniences but also provide abundant benefits. Additionally, with enhanced technologies, people can initiate much more fast everything than ever before. However, in spite of those benefits, it is negatively affecting the environment. I believe that protecting the environment is seemingly impossible because people who are awash in highly developed genetic engineering technology would not stop using that.
To improve technology, people spend a lot of time. Nowadays, more and more individuals prefer to initiate much more fast. Such a tendency negatively impacts a natural species. Already destroyed nature seemingly would not recover by individual’s force. Therefore, the government should do something to recover nature in the world. The government should operate educational sessions to realize on alert that people have to do something to improve natural life and should make a public advertisement to know the problems of nature in the world.
At first glance, it may seem like people can take actions to protect the environment, but even with the highly developed genetic engineering technology, it is too late to do anything to asve animals and plants. In conclusion, the governmenet have to make a province aggressively.
To begin with, a destroyed environment is a crucial problem in modern society. In contemporary society, where individuals are still developing technologies to enhance their lifestyles, a lot of nature and animals have been losing their habitats. Those improved technologies, such as artificial intelligent systems, abundant waste landfilled, and massively constructed apartments, not only provide a lot of conveniences but also provide abundant benefits. Additionally, with enhanced technologies, people can initiate much more fast everything than ever before. However, in spite of those benefits, it is negatively affecting the environment. I believe that protecting the environment is seemingly impossible because people who are awash in highly developed genetic engineering technology would not stop using that.
To improve technology, people spend a lot of time. Nowadays, more and more individuals prefer to initiate much more fast. Such a tendency negatively impacts a natural species. Already destroyed nature seemingly would not recover by individual’s force. Therefore, the government should do something to recover nature in the world. The government should operate educational sessions to realize on alert that people have to do something to improve natural life and should make a public advertisement to know the problems of nature in the world.
At first glance, it may seem like people can take actions to protect the environment, but even with the highly developed genetic engineering technology, it is too late to do anything to asve animals and plants. In conclusion, the governmenet have to make a province aggressively.
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