아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Two parts
Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7]
The essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing both positive and negative aspects of multinational companies in developing countries. The writer provides examples and fully develops their arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. Each paragraph is clear, and ideas are logically organised, connected and sequenced. Transitions are used effectively to guide the reader through the writer's line of reasoning.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The writer displays a good range of vocabulary and uses collocations effectively. There are a few minor mistakes but these do not impede understanding. The usage of words like 'globalization', 'multinational', 'employments', and 'cultural heritage' shows a strong command of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
The essay shows a good grammatical range with correct usage of complex sentence structures. There are few minor errors e.g. 'multinational companies over the world' should be 'multinational companies all over the world', but these do not significantly detract from the overall quality of writing.
Overall: [7]
The essay achieves a strong score as it clearly addresses the task, presents clear, logically structured arguments, demonstrates a good vocabulary range and uses a variety of grammatical structures.
Task Response: [7]
The essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing both positive and negative aspects of multinational companies in developing countries. The writer provides examples and fully develops their arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. Each paragraph is clear, and ideas are logically organised, connected and sequenced. Transitions are used effectively to guide the reader through the writer's line of reasoning.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The writer displays a good range of vocabulary and uses collocations effectively. There are a few minor mistakes but these do not impede understanding. The usage of words like 'globalization', 'multinational', 'employments', and 'cultural heritage' shows a strong command of vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
The essay shows a good grammatical range with correct usage of complex sentence structures. There are few minor errors e.g. 'multinational companies over the world' should be 'multinational companies all over the world', but these do not significantly detract from the overall quality of writing.
Overall: [7]
The essay achieves a strong score as it clearly addresses the task, presents clear, logically structured arguments, demonstrates a good vocabulary range and uses a variety of grammatical structures.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Essay:
In the forefront of globalization, a rising number of multinational companies are paving their way into developing nations. The following discussions would unearth the potential benefits and drawbacks of this trend.
Major benefits derive from the ability of these corporations to stimulate economic growth and diversify available commodities. They constructively contribute to employment rates by bringing the prerequisite of a vast workforce. For instance, when these companies organically grow in foreign countries they inevitably require a substantial workforce, resulting in more jobs for locals. Additionally, the introduction of diversified products into local markets expands consumer choice. Evidence of this lies in South Korea, where the entry of luxury car brands like BMW and Audi has enabled locals to access products previously unavailable.
However, the increasing presence of multinationals could also lead to potential cultural erosion and destabilization of local businesses. The dominance of these brands often lures consumers away from local products, thus sabotaging local businesses. Moreover, the blending of foreign and local cultures in the process exposes unique cultural identities to potential dilution or even extinction, which could lead to the loss of local culture.
In conclusion, while multinational companies bring numerous economic benefits, they also pose threats to cultural uniqueness and local businesses. The key lies in striking a balance between encouraging foreign investments and preserving cultural heritage.
Word count: 224
Essay translated in Korean:
세계화의 전선에서, 많은 다국적 기업들이 개발 중인 국가로 길을 내비쳐 가고 있다. 이어지는 논의는 이러한 추세의 잠재적 이점과 단점을 밝혀낼 것이다.
주요 이점은 이러한 기업들이 경제 성장을 촉진하고 사용 가능한 상품을 다양화하는 능력에서 나온다. 그들은 넓은 노동력의 필요성으로 일자리를 창출함으로써 고용률에 건설적으로 기여한다. 예를 들어, 이 회사들이 외국에서 자연스럽게 성장하면서 그들은 상당한 노동력을 필요로 하므로, 현지 주민들에게 더 많은 일자리를 제공한다. 추가로, 다양한 제품을 현지 시장에 도입함으로써 소비자의 선택을 확대한다. BMW, Audi와 같은 고급 자동차 브랜드의 진입에 의해 한국 현지인들이 이전에는 이용할 수 없었던 제품을 이용하게 된 이 현상은 그 증거이다.
그러나, 다국적 기업의 증가는 문화적 침식과 현지 사업의 불안정성을 초래할 수도 있다. 이러한 브랜드의 지배력은 종종 현지 제품에서 소비자를 끌어낸다, 따라서 현지 사업을 훼손한다. 더구나, 이러한 과정에서 외국과 현지 문화가 혼합되면 고유한 문화적 정체성이 희석되거나 사라질 위험에 노출되며, 이로 인해 현지 문화가 소실될 수 있다.
결론적으로, 다국적 기업은 다수의 경제적 이점을 가져오지만, 문화적 독특성과 현지 사업에 위협을 미치기도 한다. 외국 투자를 장려하고 문화적 유산을 보존하는 것 사이에서 균형을 이루는 것이 핵심이다.
Good expressions:
1. In the forefront of globalization - 글로벌화의 최전선에서
2. pave their way into - ~로 길을 내비다
3. prerequisite of a vast workforce - 대규모 노동력의 필요조건
4. potential cultural erosion - 잠재적인 문화적 침식
5. striking a balance - 균형을 맞추다
6. preserving cultural heritage - 문화적 유산 보존
In the forefront of globalization, a rising number of multinational companies are paving their way into developing nations. The following discussions would unearth the potential benefits and drawbacks of this trend.
Major benefits derive from the ability of these corporations to stimulate economic growth and diversify available commodities. They constructively contribute to employment rates by bringing the prerequisite of a vast workforce. For instance, when these companies organically grow in foreign countries they inevitably require a substantial workforce, resulting in more jobs for locals. Additionally, the introduction of diversified products into local markets expands consumer choice. Evidence of this lies in South Korea, where the entry of luxury car brands like BMW and Audi has enabled locals to access products previously unavailable.
However, the increasing presence of multinationals could also lead to potential cultural erosion and destabilization of local businesses. The dominance of these brands often lures consumers away from local products, thus sabotaging local businesses. Moreover, the blending of foreign and local cultures in the process exposes unique cultural identities to potential dilution or even extinction, which could lead to the loss of local culture.
In conclusion, while multinational companies bring numerous economic benefits, they also pose threats to cultural uniqueness and local businesses. The key lies in striking a balance between encouraging foreign investments and preserving cultural heritage.
Word count: 224
Essay translated in Korean:
세계화의 전선에서, 많은 다국적 기업들이 개발 중인 국가로 길을 내비쳐 가고 있다. 이어지는 논의는 이러한 추세의 잠재적 이점과 단점을 밝혀낼 것이다.
주요 이점은 이러한 기업들이 경제 성장을 촉진하고 사용 가능한 상품을 다양화하는 능력에서 나온다. 그들은 넓은 노동력의 필요성으로 일자리를 창출함으로써 고용률에 건설적으로 기여한다. 예를 들어, 이 회사들이 외국에서 자연스럽게 성장하면서 그들은 상당한 노동력을 필요로 하므로, 현지 주민들에게 더 많은 일자리를 제공한다. 추가로, 다양한 제품을 현지 시장에 도입함으로써 소비자의 선택을 확대한다. BMW, Audi와 같은 고급 자동차 브랜드의 진입에 의해 한국 현지인들이 이전에는 이용할 수 없었던 제품을 이용하게 된 이 현상은 그 증거이다.
그러나, 다국적 기업의 증가는 문화적 침식과 현지 사업의 불안정성을 초래할 수도 있다. 이러한 브랜드의 지배력은 종종 현지 제품에서 소비자를 끌어낸다, 따라서 현지 사업을 훼손한다. 더구나, 이러한 과정에서 외국과 현지 문화가 혼합되면 고유한 문화적 정체성이 희석되거나 사라질 위험에 노출되며, 이로 인해 현지 문화가 소실될 수 있다.
결론적으로, 다국적 기업은 다수의 경제적 이점을 가져오지만, 문화적 독특성과 현지 사업에 위협을 미치기도 한다. 외국 투자를 장려하고 문화적 유산을 보존하는 것 사이에서 균형을 이루는 것이 핵심이다.
Good expressions:
1. In the forefront of globalization - 글로벌화의 최전선에서
2. pave their way into - ~로 길을 내비다
3. prerequisite of a vast workforce - 대규모 노동력의 필요조건
4. potential cultural erosion - 잠재적인 문화적 침식
5. striking a balance - 균형을 맞추다
6. preserving cultural heritage - 문화적 유산 보존
제출한 라이팅
Nowadays, due to a world of globalization, there is a growing number of multinational companies over the world. In this essay, I will examine both pros and cons of this, and then propose my conclusion.
There are several benefits of increasing number of multinational companies. The main merit is that they can create numerous employments. What I mean by this is that if the firms are set up in other countries, they can result in a whole range of jobs in there by hiring a horde of local people. Furthermore, it also enables people to buy unique items, which are not sold in their own countries. Take Korea for example, in the past, luxury cars like BMW and Audi were not imported to Korea. However, nowadays, people can buy them whenever they want. This can provide customers with wider opportunities.
Turning to another side of the argument, it is undeniable that the multinational companies have negative effects. This is because they can ruin the local market. In other words, if multinational items fascinate public, they are inclined to buy these, instead of their local products. Not only that, it can doom the unique identity of a culture. For instance, numerous multinational firms are set up in other countries, their own cultural heritages can be mixed with with foreign cultures, causing the loss of their own cultures.
To sum up, there are pros and cons of multinational companies, so you need to weigh up the pros of creating jobs and cons of evading own cultures. Personally, I believe that multinational companies have more benefits.
There are several benefits of increasing number of multinational companies. The main merit is that they can create numerous employments. What I mean by this is that if the firms are set up in other countries, they can result in a whole range of jobs in there by hiring a horde of local people. Furthermore, it also enables people to buy unique items, which are not sold in their own countries. Take Korea for example, in the past, luxury cars like BMW and Audi were not imported to Korea. However, nowadays, people can buy them whenever they want. This can provide customers with wider opportunities.
Turning to another side of the argument, it is undeniable that the multinational companies have negative effects. This is because they can ruin the local market. In other words, if multinational items fascinate public, they are inclined to buy these, instead of their local products. Not only that, it can doom the unique identity of a culture. For instance, numerous multinational firms are set up in other countries, their own cultural heritages can be mixed with with foreign cultures, causing the loss of their own cultures.
To sum up, there are pros and cons of multinational companies, so you need to weigh up the pros of creating jobs and cons of evading own cultures. Personally, I believe that multinational companies have more benefits.
공유
목록으로 돌아가기 😎
