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The chart below shows information about student enrolments at three different English language schools for the year 2017.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [6]
The student has addressed the task well and provided detailed comparisons between the three academies. The response clearly highlights change over time, addressing the main features however, the task's statistics are not used as effectively as they could be. For example, the student did not provide specific figures to substantiate their points.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The student has effectively used cohesive devices ("First of all", "Secondly", "Looking at") and has followed a logical paragraphing structure. However, the connections between ideas could be clearer, and there is some repetition of phrases which impacts the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student has demonstrated a good range of vocabulary. Terms such as "fluctuations", "appealing", "unpopular", "preference", "sustainably", "downward trend" and "consistently" show the capacity to use vocabulary for precise effect. However, the word choice in some places is awkward or incorrect such as "academies have changed throughout a year".
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
The student has made attempts to create complex sentence structures and used a range of grammatical structures with mixed accuracy. Errors such as "3 academies have experienced some fluctuations" (should be "each of the three academies") and "the figures for each academies" (should be "each academy") affect the overall clarity.
Overall: [6.25]
The student has met the requirements of the task and demonstrated a clear understanding of the data. However, there is room for improvement in terms of grammatical accuracy, task response precision and improving cohesion.
Task Response: [6]
The student has addressed the task well and provided detailed comparisons between the three academies. The response clearly highlights change over time, addressing the main features however, the task's statistics are not used as effectively as they could be. For example, the student did not provide specific figures to substantiate their points.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The student has effectively used cohesive devices ("First of all", "Secondly", "Looking at") and has followed a logical paragraphing structure. However, the connections between ideas could be clearer, and there is some repetition of phrases which impacts the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student has demonstrated a good range of vocabulary. Terms such as "fluctuations", "appealing", "unpopular", "preference", "sustainably", "downward trend" and "consistently" show the capacity to use vocabulary for precise effect. However, the word choice in some places is awkward or incorrect such as "academies have changed throughout a year".
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
The student has made attempts to create complex sentence structures and used a range of grammatical structures with mixed accuracy. Errors such as "3 academies have experienced some fluctuations" (should be "each of the three academies") and "the figures for each academies" (should be "each academy") affect the overall clarity.
Overall: [6.25]
The student has met the requirements of the task and demonstrated a clear understanding of the data. However, there is room for improvement in terms of grammatical accuracy, task response precision and improving cohesion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
The chart below shows information about student enrolments at three different English language schools for the year 2017.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150.
Essay:
The given table demonstrates the enrolment numbers for the year 2017 at three English language centres, namely; New Zealand Center for Language (NZCL), Mayfair School of English (MSE), and Best Communication English Academy (BCEA).
In general, there was a fluctuation in the number of students enrolled in the aforementioned schools, with each one undergoing a variety of trends throughout the year. The BCEA started the year with a high number of enrolments in January and February, marking it as the preferred choice among students. Nevertheless, their popularity witnessed a dramatic decline beginning from May, making it the least popular academy for learning English by the end of the year.
On the other hand, NZCL maintained its position as the second most appealing academy for learners early in the year. Despite experiencing a steady drop in enrolments from September, it managed to remain at the top of the popularity chart. MSE initially lagged behind the other two centres with the lowest student enrolment numbers. Although, it observed a consistent increase in student admissions throughout the year, ultimately occupying the second largest share of student enrolments by year end.
In conclusion, each language academy experienced different trends in student enrolments during 2017. Whilst some saw a drop in popularity, others witnessed an upward trend, making each institution's journey unique in its own way.
Word count: 220
Essay translated in Korean:
주어진 표는 2017년에 뉴질랜드어 학습센터 (NZCL), 메이페어 영어학교 (MSE), 베스트 커뮤니케이션 영어 아카데미 (BCEA)라는 세 영어 언어 센터에서의 등록 인원을 보여줍니다.
일반적으로, 세 학교의 학생 등록 수에는 변동이 있었으며, 각각이 연간 다양한 추세를 겪었습니다. BCEA는 1월과 2월에 높은 등록률을 보여 학생들 사이에서 선호도가 높았지만, 5월부터는 인기가 급격히 하락하여 연말에는 가장 인기없는 학원으로 꼽혔습니다.
반면에 NZCL은 년 초에 학습자들 사이에서 두 번째로 인기있는 아카데미로 자리매김했습니다. 9월부터 등록률이 꾸준히 하락했지만, 인기 차트의 최상위에 머무르는 데 성공했습니다. MSE는 초기에 다른 두 센터보다 학생 등록 수가 가장 적었습니다. 그러나 연간 내내 학생 등록 수가 꾸준히 증가하여 연말에는 학생 등록 수에서 두 번째로 큰 비율을 차지했습니다.
결론적으로, 각 언어 아카데미는 2017년 동안 학생 등록에 대해 다른 추세를 겪었습니다. 일부는 인기가 하락했지만 다른 일부는 상승세를 보였으며, 각 기관이 겪은 여정은 각자의 방식으로 독특했습니다.
Good expressions:
1. witnessed a dramatic decline - 급격한 하락을 겪었다
2. remained at the top of the popularity chart - 인기 차트의 최상위에 머무르다
3. observed a consistent increase - 꾸준한 증가를 보였다
4. occupying the second largest share - 두 번째로 큰 비율을 차지하다
5. each institution's journey unique in its own way - 각 기관의 여정은 각자의 방식으로 독특하다
The given table demonstrates the enrolment numbers for the year 2017 at three English language centres, namely; New Zealand Center for Language (NZCL), Mayfair School of English (MSE), and Best Communication English Academy (BCEA).
In general, there was a fluctuation in the number of students enrolled in the aforementioned schools, with each one undergoing a variety of trends throughout the year. The BCEA started the year with a high number of enrolments in January and February, marking it as the preferred choice among students. Nevertheless, their popularity witnessed a dramatic decline beginning from May, making it the least popular academy for learning English by the end of the year.
On the other hand, NZCL maintained its position as the second most appealing academy for learners early in the year. Despite experiencing a steady drop in enrolments from September, it managed to remain at the top of the popularity chart. MSE initially lagged behind the other two centres with the lowest student enrolment numbers. Although, it observed a consistent increase in student admissions throughout the year, ultimately occupying the second largest share of student enrolments by year end.
In conclusion, each language academy experienced different trends in student enrolments during 2017. Whilst some saw a drop in popularity, others witnessed an upward trend, making each institution's journey unique in its own way.
Word count: 220
Essay translated in Korean:
주어진 표는 2017년에 뉴질랜드어 학습센터 (NZCL), 메이페어 영어학교 (MSE), 베스트 커뮤니케이션 영어 아카데미 (BCEA)라는 세 영어 언어 센터에서의 등록 인원을 보여줍니다.
일반적으로, 세 학교의 학생 등록 수에는 변동이 있었으며, 각각이 연간 다양한 추세를 겪었습니다. BCEA는 1월과 2월에 높은 등록률을 보여 학생들 사이에서 선호도가 높았지만, 5월부터는 인기가 급격히 하락하여 연말에는 가장 인기없는 학원으로 꼽혔습니다.
반면에 NZCL은 년 초에 학습자들 사이에서 두 번째로 인기있는 아카데미로 자리매김했습니다. 9월부터 등록률이 꾸준히 하락했지만, 인기 차트의 최상위에 머무르는 데 성공했습니다. MSE는 초기에 다른 두 센터보다 학생 등록 수가 가장 적었습니다. 그러나 연간 내내 학생 등록 수가 꾸준히 증가하여 연말에는 학생 등록 수에서 두 번째로 큰 비율을 차지했습니다.
결론적으로, 각 언어 아카데미는 2017년 동안 학생 등록에 대해 다른 추세를 겪었습니다. 일부는 인기가 하락했지만 다른 일부는 상승세를 보였으며, 각 기관이 겪은 여정은 각자의 방식으로 독특했습니다.
Good expressions:
1. witnessed a dramatic decline - 급격한 하락을 겪었다
2. remained at the top of the popularity chart - 인기 차트의 최상위에 머무르다
3. observed a consistent increase - 꾸준한 증가를 보였다
4. occupying the second largest share - 두 번째로 큰 비율을 차지하다
5. each institution's journey unique in its own way - 각 기관의 여정은 각자의 방식으로 독특하다
제출한 라이팅
This table illustrates the total number of pupil admission in 3 different English language schools. Distinguished by New zealand center for language, Mayfair school of english and best communication.
Overall, 3 academies have experienced some fluctuations and the figures for each academies have changed throughout a year.
First of all, BCEA has been the preference for the majority of students who want to learn English in January and february. However since May the figure for BCEA has declined rapidly and became the most unpopular academy.
Secondly, While NZCL have held the second most appealing academy for pupils initially, the popularity has declined sustainably from september. Even though this academy has a downward trend they keep the 1st place of popularity.
Looking at the MSE, The number of this center was the lowest among the three centers. But the figure for enrolment increased consistently throughout the one year and held the second biggest position for student number.
Overall, 3 academies have experienced some fluctuations and the figures for each academies have changed throughout a year.
First of all, BCEA has been the preference for the majority of students who want to learn English in January and february. However since May the figure for BCEA has declined rapidly and became the most unpopular academy.
Secondly, While NZCL have held the second most appealing academy for pupils initially, the popularity has declined sustainably from september. Even though this academy has a downward trend they keep the 1st place of popularity.
Looking at the MSE, The number of this center was the lowest among the three centers. But the figure for enrolment increased consistently throughout the one year and held the second biggest position for student number.
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