아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 8
The essay fully addresses the topic and presents a clear and thoughtful response to the question. The points made are relevant, and fully developed with clear examples.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay holds together fairly well, with effective use of linking words, such as 'while,' 'on the contrary,' and 'in conclusion.' However, some of the ideas could be expressed more coherently and organized more logically.
Lexical Resource: 8
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with variety in word choice and minimal repetition. However, there is room for a wider array of expressions and idiomatic phrases.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
The essay displays a good amount of grammatical complexity and varied sentence structures, with few grammatical errors. Some sentences could be further condensed for more concise expression.
Overall: 7.75
The essay is well-written, addressing the topic directly and providing balanced views. There's still room for improvement in terms of more natural language usage and smoother organization of ideas. The final score is an average of the four individual scores, rounded to the nearest half-band.
Task Response: 8
The essay fully addresses the topic and presents a clear and thoughtful response to the question. The points made are relevant, and fully developed with clear examples.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay holds together fairly well, with effective use of linking words, such as 'while,' 'on the contrary,' and 'in conclusion.' However, some of the ideas could be expressed more coherently and organized more logically.
Lexical Resource: 8
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with variety in word choice and minimal repetition. However, there is room for a wider array of expressions and idiomatic phrases.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 8
The essay displays a good amount of grammatical complexity and varied sentence structures, with few grammatical errors. Some sentences could be further condensed for more concise expression.
Overall: 7.75
The essay is well-written, addressing the topic directly and providing balanced views. There's still room for improvement in terms of more natural language usage and smoother organization of ideas. The final score is an average of the four individual scores, rounded to the nearest half-band.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Essay:
As some individuals attribute success largely to luck, it is true that fortune holds a certain sway in the journey towards success. However, I hold the stance that hard work and determination play a more significant role in reaching life goals than relying solely upon the winds of fate.
While there are those who consider luck as the main driver in reaching their ambitions, it often serves more as a comfort during tiresome endeavors, helping to alleviate stress in challenging periods. The belief in luck can also instill self-confidence by attributing the completion of tough tasks to fortunate circumstances. For instance, a student who does well on a challenging test may feel that they were lucky in their efforts.
Nonetheless, I am a staunch advocate for the preeminence of tenacity and hard work in achieving objectives. Relying purely on luck while neglecting the necessary effort often leads to disappointment. Many students, for example, tend to focus on success stories and outcomes without considering the hard work behind such accomplishments. This lack of acknowledgment often results in unmet expectations, which they attribute to being unlucky. A person's earnest efforts are the true driving force behind achieving their goals, which in retrospect, might seem like good 'luck'.
To sum up, while a sense of luck has its place in goal attainment, I insist that effort and hard work take precedence in a successful journey. Sole dependence on luck without devoting adequate effort often proves ineffective.
Word count: 260
Essay translated in Korean:
일부 사람들이 성공을 크게 운이라고 돌리는 것에 동의하여, 운이 성공으로 가는 여정에 어느 정도의 규제를 가지고 있다는 것은 사실이다. 그러나 나는 행운에 완전히 의지하기보다는 노력과 결단력이 목표를 달성하는 데 더 중요한 역할을 한다고 주장한다.
운이 그들의 야망을 이루는 주요 구동기라고 생각하는 사람들이 있지만, 종종 피곤한 노력 중에 위안으로 더 많이 사용되어 도전적인 시기에 스트레스를 완화하는 데 도움이 된다. 운에 대한 믿음은 도전적인 작업을 완성하게 된 행운의 상황에 기여함으로써 자신감을 심어줄 수 있다. 예를 들어, 어려운 시험에서 잘하는 학생은 그들의 노력이 행운이었을 수 있다고 느낄 것이다.
그럼에도 불구하고, 나는 목표를 달성하는데 있어 끈기와 열심히 일하는 것의 우선성에 대해 열렬한 지지자다. 필요한 노력을 방치하는 동안 순전히 행운에 의존하는 것은 종종 실망으로 이어진다. 많은 학생들이 예를 들어, 성공 이야기와 결과에만 초점을 맞추는데, 이런 성과 뒤에 숨겨진 노력을 생각하지 않는다. 이러한 사실을 인정하지 않は 자주 목표를 달성하지 못하는 결과를 가져오는데, 이것을 운 없이 있다고 생각한다. 사람들의 진정한 노력이 그들의 목표를 달성하는 진정한 구동력이며, 이는 회고 점에서 '행운'처럼 보일 수 있다.
결론적으로, 행운이 목표 달성에 어느 정도의 장소를 가진다면, 나는 노력과 힘든 일이 성공적인 여정에서 우선적인 역할을 한다고 주장한다. 적절한 노력을 기울이지 않는 순수한 행운에만 의존하는 것은 종종 비효율적이다.
Good expressions:
1. winds of fate - 운명의 풍향
2. alleviate stress - 스트레스 완화
3. unmet expectations - 달성되지 못한 기대
4. take precedence - 우선하다
5. proves ineffective - 비효율적으로 판명되다
As some individuals attribute success largely to luck, it is true that fortune holds a certain sway in the journey towards success. However, I hold the stance that hard work and determination play a more significant role in reaching life goals than relying solely upon the winds of fate.
While there are those who consider luck as the main driver in reaching their ambitions, it often serves more as a comfort during tiresome endeavors, helping to alleviate stress in challenging periods. The belief in luck can also instill self-confidence by attributing the completion of tough tasks to fortunate circumstances. For instance, a student who does well on a challenging test may feel that they were lucky in their efforts.
Nonetheless, I am a staunch advocate for the preeminence of tenacity and hard work in achieving objectives. Relying purely on luck while neglecting the necessary effort often leads to disappointment. Many students, for example, tend to focus on success stories and outcomes without considering the hard work behind such accomplishments. This lack of acknowledgment often results in unmet expectations, which they attribute to being unlucky. A person's earnest efforts are the true driving force behind achieving their goals, which in retrospect, might seem like good 'luck'.
To sum up, while a sense of luck has its place in goal attainment, I insist that effort and hard work take precedence in a successful journey. Sole dependence on luck without devoting adequate effort often proves ineffective.
Word count: 260
Essay translated in Korean:
일부 사람들이 성공을 크게 운이라고 돌리는 것에 동의하여, 운이 성공으로 가는 여정에 어느 정도의 규제를 가지고 있다는 것은 사실이다. 그러나 나는 행운에 완전히 의지하기보다는 노력과 결단력이 목표를 달성하는 데 더 중요한 역할을 한다고 주장한다.
운이 그들의 야망을 이루는 주요 구동기라고 생각하는 사람들이 있지만, 종종 피곤한 노력 중에 위안으로 더 많이 사용되어 도전적인 시기에 스트레스를 완화하는 데 도움이 된다. 운에 대한 믿음은 도전적인 작업을 완성하게 된 행운의 상황에 기여함으로써 자신감을 심어줄 수 있다. 예를 들어, 어려운 시험에서 잘하는 학생은 그들의 노력이 행운이었을 수 있다고 느낄 것이다.
그럼에도 불구하고, 나는 목표를 달성하는데 있어 끈기와 열심히 일하는 것의 우선성에 대해 열렬한 지지자다. 필요한 노력을 방치하는 동안 순전히 행운에 의존하는 것은 종종 실망으로 이어진다. 많은 학생들이 예를 들어, 성공 이야기와 결과에만 초점을 맞추는데, 이런 성과 뒤에 숨겨진 노력을 생각하지 않는다. 이러한 사실을 인정하지 않は 자주 목표를 달성하지 못하는 결과를 가져오는데, 이것을 운 없이 있다고 생각한다. 사람들의 진정한 노력이 그들의 목표를 달성하는 진정한 구동력이며, 이는 회고 점에서 '행운'처럼 보일 수 있다.
결론적으로, 행운이 목표 달성에 어느 정도의 장소를 가진다면, 나는 노력과 힘든 일이 성공적인 여정에서 우선적인 역할을 한다고 주장한다. 적절한 노력을 기울이지 않는 순수한 행운에만 의존하는 것은 종종 비효율적이다.
Good expressions:
1. winds of fate - 운명의 풍향
2. alleviate stress - 스트레스 완화
3. unmet expectations - 달성되지 못한 기대
4. take precedence - 우선하다
5. proves ineffective - 비효율적으로 판명되다
제출한 라이팅
It is clear that some people believe in the role of luck in achieving goals. While I agree that people may seek luck to attain success, I disagree that relying solely on luck without making an effort is sufficient for goal accomplishment.
Many individuals often hope for luck to help them reach their objectives as it provides a sense of relief and reduces stress during challenging times. Some rely on luck while studying or working towards their goals. They attribute their success in difficult situations to luck, which in turn gives them the confidence to pursue further goals. This belief in luck can serve as a motivation to work or study diligently. For instance, students who perform well on exams may attribute their success to luck, feeling surprised at their achievement.
On the contrary, I firmly believe that individuals must exert effort to achieve their goals. Simply wishing for luck without putting in the necessary hard work or study is unlikely to lead to success. Many students nowadays read success stories and focus only on the outcomes, wishing for luck in their exams. Ultimately, they may be disappointed with their results and attribute it to the absence of luck. Effort plays a crucial role in realizing one's goals and contributes to improved performance. Those who diligently work towards their objectives are more likely to achieve success, which can be perceived as luck.
In conclusion, while I acknowledge that individuals may seek luck while striving to accomplish their goals, I maintain the belief that genuine effort is essential for reaching targets. Merely relying on luck without working towards one's goals is often insufficient for success.
Many individuals often hope for luck to help them reach their objectives as it provides a sense of relief and reduces stress during challenging times. Some rely on luck while studying or working towards their goals. They attribute their success in difficult situations to luck, which in turn gives them the confidence to pursue further goals. This belief in luck can serve as a motivation to work or study diligently. For instance, students who perform well on exams may attribute their success to luck, feeling surprised at their achievement.
On the contrary, I firmly believe that individuals must exert effort to achieve their goals. Simply wishing for luck without putting in the necessary hard work or study is unlikely to lead to success. Many students nowadays read success stories and focus only on the outcomes, wishing for luck in their exams. Ultimately, they may be disappointed with their results and attribute it to the absence of luck. Effort plays a crucial role in realizing one's goals and contributes to improved performance. Those who diligently work towards their objectives are more likely to achieve success, which can be perceived as luck.
In conclusion, while I acknowledge that individuals may seek luck while striving to accomplish their goals, I maintain the belief that genuine effort is essential for reaching targets. Merely relying on luck without working towards one's goals is often insufficient for success.
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