아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Etc
The chart below shows student numbers attending a language school in London between 1987 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 15 words
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7]
The student has responded well to the task, providing a clear summary of the data and making relevant comparisons. However, there's no clear conclusion which could give a better ending note to the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay shows good use of cohesion, but there are some minor errors in presentation of details and logical organization. For instance, the student could have grouped languages with similar trends together and provided a clearer sequencing.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student demonstrated good command of academic language with vocabulary pertinent to discussions of trends. However, variation in language could be greater.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
The essay displays adequate range of grammatical structures. There are a few errors, such as "it start" should be "it started", but they do not significantly impact comprehension.
Overall: [6.75]
The student writer has performed well in most aspects but there's scope for improving coherence and cohesion, and grammatical accuracy.
Task Response: [7]
The student has responded well to the task, providing a clear summary of the data and making relevant comparisons. However, there's no clear conclusion which could give a better ending note to the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay shows good use of cohesion, but there are some minor errors in presentation of details and logical organization. For instance, the student could have grouped languages with similar trends together and provided a clearer sequencing.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student demonstrated good command of academic language with vocabulary pertinent to discussions of trends. However, variation in language could be greater.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
The essay displays adequate range of grammatical structures. There are a few errors, such as "it start" should be "it started", but they do not significantly impact comprehension.
Overall: [6.75]
The student writer has performed well in most aspects but there's scope for improving coherence and cohesion, and grammatical accuracy.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
The chart below shows student numbers attending a language school in London between 1987 and 2017.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 15 words
Essay:
The given chart provides an overview of student enrolment in five different language courses offered in a London-based language school for the period 1987 through 2017, indicating fluctuations in popularity over the three decades. The data shows distinct divergent patterns between the studied languages.
In 1987, Mexican emerged as the most favored subject with around 65 learners, undergoing a gentle increase until 1997 and then steadying off. Conversely, the number of students studying European languages initially rivaled that of Mexican but showed a steep decline post-1997, rendering it the fourth most appealing option by 2017.
Chinese and Japanese courses followed a similar trajectory, but with a clear separation. Beginning from a lower base of students in 1987, about 30 for Chinese and less for Japanese, both these languages witnessed a drastic surge in popularity starting in 1997. By 2017, Chinese overtook European to become the second most popular language, whereas Japanese, despite growing consistently, ranked only as the fourth most attractive language.
In conclusion, though most languages exhibited an increase in student numbers over the 30-year period, European languages bucked the trend and demonstrated a considerable decrease in popularity.
Word count: 186 words
Essay translated in Korean:
주어진 차트는 1987년에서 2017년까지 런던의 언어 학교에서 제공하는 다섯 가지 다른 언어 과정에 등록한 학생 수에 대한 개요를 제공하며, 세 대에 걸친 인기도의 변동을 나타냅니다. 데이터는 연구된 언어 간에 확연한 다중 패턴을 보여줍니다.
1987년에, 멕시코어는 약 65명의 학습자로 가장 선호되는 과목으로 등장했는데, 이는 1997년까지 서서히 증가하여 그 이후에는 안정화 되었습니다. 반면, 유럽어 학습하는 학생 수는 초기에는 멕시코어와 경쟁하였지만 1997년 이후로 극도로 떨어져 2017년에는 네 번째로 매력적인 옵션으로 만들었습니다.
중국어와 일본어 과정은 비슷한 발전을 보였지만, 분명히 구별되었습니다. 중국어는 1987년에 약 30명, 일본어는 더 적은 수의 학생에서 시작해, 1997년부터 각각이 인기도에서 급격한 상승세를 보였습니다. 2017년까지 중국어는 유럽어를 제치고 두 번째로 인기 있는 언어가 되었고, 반면 일본어는 일관되게 성장했지만, 네 번째로 가장 매력적인 언어로만 순위되었습니다.
결론적으로, 대부분의 언어는 30년 기간 동안 학생 수가 증가하는 반면, 유럽어는 인기도에서 상당한 하락을 보여 트렌드를 무너뜨렸습니다.
Good expressions:
1. a distinct divergent pattern (확연한 다중 패턴)
2. a gentle increase (부드러운 증가)
3. witnessed a drastic surge (급격한 상승을 목격했습니다)
4. exhibited an increase (증가를 보였습니다)
5. bucked the trend (트렌드를 무너뜨렸다)
The given chart provides an overview of student enrolment in five different language courses offered in a London-based language school for the period 1987 through 2017, indicating fluctuations in popularity over the three decades. The data shows distinct divergent patterns between the studied languages.
In 1987, Mexican emerged as the most favored subject with around 65 learners, undergoing a gentle increase until 1997 and then steadying off. Conversely, the number of students studying European languages initially rivaled that of Mexican but showed a steep decline post-1997, rendering it the fourth most appealing option by 2017.
Chinese and Japanese courses followed a similar trajectory, but with a clear separation. Beginning from a lower base of students in 1987, about 30 for Chinese and less for Japanese, both these languages witnessed a drastic surge in popularity starting in 1997. By 2017, Chinese overtook European to become the second most popular language, whereas Japanese, despite growing consistently, ranked only as the fourth most attractive language.
In conclusion, though most languages exhibited an increase in student numbers over the 30-year period, European languages bucked the trend and demonstrated a considerable decrease in popularity.
Word count: 186 words
Essay translated in Korean:
주어진 차트는 1987년에서 2017년까지 런던의 언어 학교에서 제공하는 다섯 가지 다른 언어 과정에 등록한 학생 수에 대한 개요를 제공하며, 세 대에 걸친 인기도의 변동을 나타냅니다. 데이터는 연구된 언어 간에 확연한 다중 패턴을 보여줍니다.
1987년에, 멕시코어는 약 65명의 학습자로 가장 선호되는 과목으로 등장했는데, 이는 1997년까지 서서히 증가하여 그 이후에는 안정화 되었습니다. 반면, 유럽어 학습하는 학생 수는 초기에는 멕시코어와 경쟁하였지만 1997년 이후로 극도로 떨어져 2017년에는 네 번째로 매력적인 옵션으로 만들었습니다.
중국어와 일본어 과정은 비슷한 발전을 보였지만, 분명히 구별되었습니다. 중국어는 1987년에 약 30명, 일본어는 더 적은 수의 학생에서 시작해, 1997년부터 각각이 인기도에서 급격한 상승세를 보였습니다. 2017년까지 중국어는 유럽어를 제치고 두 번째로 인기 있는 언어가 되었고, 반면 일본어는 일관되게 성장했지만, 네 번째로 가장 매력적인 언어로만 순위되었습니다.
결론적으로, 대부분의 언어는 30년 기간 동안 학생 수가 증가하는 반면, 유럽어는 인기도에서 상당한 하락을 보여 트렌드를 무너뜨렸습니다.
Good expressions:
1. a distinct divergent pattern (확연한 다중 패턴)
2. a gentle increase (부드러운 증가)
3. witnessed a drastic surge (급격한 상승을 목격했습니다)
4. exhibited an increase (증가를 보였습니다)
5. bucked the trend (트렌드를 무너뜨렸다)
제출한 라이팅
This chart illustrates the number of pupils in 5 different categorized languages between 1987 to 2017. Overall, while almost all subjects show an upward trend, European show a downward trend solely.
First, Mexican is observed as the most popular language among 6 different languages. at the beginning, it started at 65 approximately and rose gradually til 1997. Since 1997 the fluctuation has become marginal. On the other hand European languages show a reverse trend with Mexican. It held a second position in 1987 and hit the highest number of students in 1997. However it declined steeply from 1997 and ranked 4th appealing languages in school.
Chinese ranked as the third position and it has a similar trend with Japanese. It start at 30 in 1987 and it rose steeply since 1997. In 2017 it reached roughly 60 as a second most popular subject. Even though Japanese has a similar trend with Chinese, it is always below Chinese as the 4th most attractive language.
First, Mexican is observed as the most popular language among 6 different languages. at the beginning, it started at 65 approximately and rose gradually til 1997. Since 1997 the fluctuation has become marginal. On the other hand European languages show a reverse trend with Mexican. It held a second position in 1987 and hit the highest number of students in 1997. However it declined steeply from 1997 and ranked 4th appealing languages in school.
Chinese ranked as the third position and it has a similar trend with Japanese. It start at 30 in 1987 and it rose steeply since 1997. In 2017 it reached roughly 60 as a second most popular subject. Even though Japanese has a similar trend with Chinese, it is always below Chinese as the 4th most attractive language.
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