아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Discussion
Some people travel to foreign countries during their vacations. Others think that it is better to travel within their home countries. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 8.5
The student responds to the task effectively. Both sides of the argument are discussed, while also providing the author's own opinion. Different reasons for each preference have been stated and explained fairly well.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7.5
The student has structured the essay well, with clear paragraphing and logical flow of ideas. However, there are a few instances where the transitions between paragraphs and sentences aren't quite as smooth or coherent as they could be.
Lexical Resource: 7.5
The student uses a range of vocabulary effectively to convey their arguments. However, the level of sophistication in the word choice could be improved. Some terms are more simplistic or repetitive.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7.5
There are some minor grammatical errors and sentence constructions could have been better. For example, "there are various places have attracted a lot of tourists" should be "there are various places that have attracted a lot of tourists".
Overall: 7.75
The student demonstrates good understanding of the essay question and is able to articulate their arguments well. However, there is room to improve in the areas of coherence & cohesion, lexical resource and grammatical range & accuracy.
Task Response: 8.5
The student responds to the task effectively. Both sides of the argument are discussed, while also providing the author's own opinion. Different reasons for each preference have been stated and explained fairly well.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7.5
The student has structured the essay well, with clear paragraphing and logical flow of ideas. However, there are a few instances where the transitions between paragraphs and sentences aren't quite as smooth or coherent as they could be.
Lexical Resource: 7.5
The student uses a range of vocabulary effectively to convey their arguments. However, the level of sophistication in the word choice could be improved. Some terms are more simplistic or repetitive.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7.5
There are some minor grammatical errors and sentence constructions could have been better. For example, "there are various places have attracted a lot of tourists" should be "there are various places that have attracted a lot of tourists".
Overall: 7.75
The student demonstrates good understanding of the essay question and is able to articulate their arguments well. However, there is room to improve in the areas of coherence & cohesion, lexical resource and grammatical range & accuracy.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people travel to foreign countries during their vacations.
Others think that it is better to travel within their home countries.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Essay:
The favored choice of vacation spots, whether domestic or foreign, remains a popular topic of discussion. While some individuals opt for the comfort of familiar terrain, others are pulled towards the thrill of exploring foreign lands. In the ensuing analysis, I will discuss reasons for both preferences, however, I personally resonate more with the international travel choice.
Tourism within our own borders holds a charm of its own. The ease of travel and the comfort of the language, culture, food, and environs is one of the most compelling reasons to opt for this choice. Familiar destinations offer a level of safety and accessibility that is hard to match. Moreover, local tourism serves as a mechanism to bolster national pride and put domestic economies on an upward trajectory. Some individuals prioritize these factors when considering vacation spots.
Conversely, international travel unravels a world of unique experiences and cultural richness. One is exposed to histories deeply embedded within ancient landmarks, foreign languages and diverse culinary experiences that are profoundly educational. Although domestic landscapes hold their own allure, international landmarks like the pyramids of Giza, the Eiffel Tower, or the Grand Canyon provide an unmatched magnificence. I endorse foreign travel for its accounts of priceless memories and experiences, although it's advised to prioritize safety and well-being while on such adventures.
In sum, even though domestic travel is safer and more familiar, the enlightening and sensational experiences international travel offers is unparalleled. Hence, I suggest embracing the opportunity to explore the world, at least once, if presented.
Word count: 264
Essay translated in Korean:
휴가 장소의 선호도는 국내여행과 해외여행으로 나뉘며, 이는 대중적인 토론 주제이다. 일부 individuals는 익숙한 지역의 편안함을 선택하는 반면, 다른 일부는 외국 땅을 탐구하는 흥분을 느끼고 있다. 계속된 분석에서, 나는 두 선택의 이유를 논의하겠지만, 개인적으로 나는 국제 여행 선택과 더 reson하게 느낀다.
국내 관광은 자체적인 매력을 지니고 있다. 여행의 편리성과 언어, 문화, 음식, 환경의 편안함은 이 선택을 위한 가장 설득력 있는 이유 중 하나다. 익숙한 목적지는 어렵지 않게 매칭 할 만한 안전성과 접근성을 제공한다. 또한, 국내 관광은 국가 자부심을 강화하고 국내 경제를 상승경로로 이끄는 메커니즘 역할을 한다. 일부 individuals는 휴가 장소를 고려할 때 이러한 요소를 우선시한다.
반면에, 해외여행은 독특한 경험과 문화적 부의 세계를 펼쳐준다. 고대 랜드마크에 깊이 묻혀있는 역사, 외국어, 다양한 미식 경험 등에 노출되며, 이는 교육적인 시간이 많다. 국내 풍경이 독특한 매력을 지니고 있지만, 기자의 피라미드, 에펠탑, 그랜드 캐년 등 국제 랜드마크는 행복과 경험을 제공한다. 비록 이와 같은 모험 중에는 안전과 건강을 우선시하는 것이 좋지만, 나는 그럼에도 불구하고 해외 여행을 추천한다.
요약하면, 국내 여행이 안전하고 친숙하지만, 해외여행이 제공하는 교육적이고 감각적인 경험은 더할 나위 없다. 따라서, 나는 세계를 탐험하는 기회가 주어지면, 적어도 한 번은 이를 받아들이는 것을 제안한다.
Good expressions:
1. Familiar destinations [익숙한 목적지]
2. Diverse culinary experiences [다양한 미식경험]
3. Bolster national pride [국가 자부심을 강화하다]
4. Unmatched magnificence [뛰어난 웅장함]
5. An upward trajectory [상승 궤도]
6. Profoundly educational [깊이 있게 교육적인]
7. Embrace the opportunity [기회를 받아들이다]
The favored choice of vacation spots, whether domestic or foreign, remains a popular topic of discussion. While some individuals opt for the comfort of familiar terrain, others are pulled towards the thrill of exploring foreign lands. In the ensuing analysis, I will discuss reasons for both preferences, however, I personally resonate more with the international travel choice.
Tourism within our own borders holds a charm of its own. The ease of travel and the comfort of the language, culture, food, and environs is one of the most compelling reasons to opt for this choice. Familiar destinations offer a level of safety and accessibility that is hard to match. Moreover, local tourism serves as a mechanism to bolster national pride and put domestic economies on an upward trajectory. Some individuals prioritize these factors when considering vacation spots.
Conversely, international travel unravels a world of unique experiences and cultural richness. One is exposed to histories deeply embedded within ancient landmarks, foreign languages and diverse culinary experiences that are profoundly educational. Although domestic landscapes hold their own allure, international landmarks like the pyramids of Giza, the Eiffel Tower, or the Grand Canyon provide an unmatched magnificence. I endorse foreign travel for its accounts of priceless memories and experiences, although it's advised to prioritize safety and well-being while on such adventures.
In sum, even though domestic travel is safer and more familiar, the enlightening and sensational experiences international travel offers is unparalleled. Hence, I suggest embracing the opportunity to explore the world, at least once, if presented.
Word count: 264
Essay translated in Korean:
휴가 장소의 선호도는 국내여행과 해외여행으로 나뉘며, 이는 대중적인 토론 주제이다. 일부 individuals는 익숙한 지역의 편안함을 선택하는 반면, 다른 일부는 외국 땅을 탐구하는 흥분을 느끼고 있다. 계속된 분석에서, 나는 두 선택의 이유를 논의하겠지만, 개인적으로 나는 국제 여행 선택과 더 reson하게 느낀다.
국내 관광은 자체적인 매력을 지니고 있다. 여행의 편리성과 언어, 문화, 음식, 환경의 편안함은 이 선택을 위한 가장 설득력 있는 이유 중 하나다. 익숙한 목적지는 어렵지 않게 매칭 할 만한 안전성과 접근성을 제공한다. 또한, 국내 관광은 국가 자부심을 강화하고 국내 경제를 상승경로로 이끄는 메커니즘 역할을 한다. 일부 individuals는 휴가 장소를 고려할 때 이러한 요소를 우선시한다.
반면에, 해외여행은 독특한 경험과 문화적 부의 세계를 펼쳐준다. 고대 랜드마크에 깊이 묻혀있는 역사, 외국어, 다양한 미식 경험 등에 노출되며, 이는 교육적인 시간이 많다. 국내 풍경이 독특한 매력을 지니고 있지만, 기자의 피라미드, 에펠탑, 그랜드 캐년 등 국제 랜드마크는 행복과 경험을 제공한다. 비록 이와 같은 모험 중에는 안전과 건강을 우선시하는 것이 좋지만, 나는 그럼에도 불구하고 해외 여행을 추천한다.
요약하면, 국내 여행이 안전하고 친숙하지만, 해외여행이 제공하는 교육적이고 감각적인 경험은 더할 나위 없다. 따라서, 나는 세계를 탐험하는 기회가 주어지면, 적어도 한 번은 이를 받아들이는 것을 제안한다.
Good expressions:
1. Familiar destinations [익숙한 목적지]
2. Diverse culinary experiences [다양한 미식경험]
3. Bolster national pride [국가 자부심을 강화하다]
4. Unmatched magnificence [뛰어난 웅장함]
5. An upward trajectory [상승 궤도]
6. Profoundly educational [깊이 있게 교육적인]
7. Embrace the opportunity [기회를 받아들이다]
제출한 라이팅
It is observed that some people prefer to go abroad for vacation, while others argue that domestic destinations are better. Both views can be persuasive, but I strongly agree with the former opinion.
To begin with, as numerous people are interested in travel at present, there are various places have attracted a lot of tourists around the world. Following this phenomenon, individuals choose to go on vacations to other countries. Travelling domestic has several benefits. Firstly, it is easy to access. Tourists do not need to spend a significant amount of time and effort due to close distance and convenient transportation. Additionally, safety is one of the most crucial factors in travel, and tourists should consider this when selecting destinations. Domestic travel is generally safer than traveling to other countries because tourists can seek help more easily if unexpected problems arise.Thus, some tourists prefer traveling domestically.
However, traveling abroad offers valuable experiences and unforgettable memories. Traveling foreign countries also has several benefits. Firstly, visitors can experience various cultures. Secondly, tourists can visit famous historical sites. While domestic travel is limited to natural landscapes and landmarks within one’s own country, there are numerous iconic landmarks and natural wonders around the world such as Grand Canyon, Eiffel tower and Tower bridge. These sites offer valuable experience that cannot be bought with money. That is why, I believe that individuals should travel abroad at least once in their lifetime.
In conclusion, although traveling domestically may be safer and more convenient, I believe that traveling abroad offer more precious experiences. Therefore, I encourage people to consider traveling abroad for vacation.
To begin with, as numerous people are interested in travel at present, there are various places have attracted a lot of tourists around the world. Following this phenomenon, individuals choose to go on vacations to other countries. Travelling domestic has several benefits. Firstly, it is easy to access. Tourists do not need to spend a significant amount of time and effort due to close distance and convenient transportation. Additionally, safety is one of the most crucial factors in travel, and tourists should consider this when selecting destinations. Domestic travel is generally safer than traveling to other countries because tourists can seek help more easily if unexpected problems arise.Thus, some tourists prefer traveling domestically.
However, traveling abroad offers valuable experiences and unforgettable memories. Traveling foreign countries also has several benefits. Firstly, visitors can experience various cultures. Secondly, tourists can visit famous historical sites. While domestic travel is limited to natural landscapes and landmarks within one’s own country, there are numerous iconic landmarks and natural wonders around the world such as Grand Canyon, Eiffel tower and Tower bridge. These sites offer valuable experience that cannot be bought with money. That is why, I believe that individuals should travel abroad at least once in their lifetime.
In conclusion, although traveling domestically may be safer and more convenient, I believe that traveling abroad offer more precious experiences. Therefore, I encourage people to consider traveling abroad for vacation.
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