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- Opinion
Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The student responds well to the task. They've presented a clear opinion and supported it with relevant examples. However, some ideas, like politicians committing suicide, are stated rather broadly and would need more clarification for a higher score.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is logically organized with coherent paragraphs and clear topic sentences. However, the writer could have been clearer in their transition between ideas and their introduction and conclusion could have been more succinct and cohesive.
Lexical Resource: 7
The student has demonstrated a good range of vocabulary. However, there are some instances of awkward word choice, like "rudiment right". The correct phrase is “fundamental rights”.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The student has demonstrated a good control of grammar with varied sentence structures. Some minor mistakes are present, such as "Many politicians offence sexual crimes", which should be "many politicians commit sexual offenses." Other than these few instances, the essay is generally accurate.
Overall: 7
The student's essay is competent and hits many of the necessary points. With a bit more practice in polishing grammar and maintaining cohesiveness throughout their writing, they could score higher.
Task Response: 7
The student responds well to the task. They've presented a clear opinion and supported it with relevant examples. However, some ideas, like politicians committing suicide, are stated rather broadly and would need more clarification for a higher score.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is logically organized with coherent paragraphs and clear topic sentences. However, the writer could have been clearer in their transition between ideas and their introduction and conclusion could have been more succinct and cohesive.
Lexical Resource: 7
The student has demonstrated a good range of vocabulary. However, there are some instances of awkward word choice, like "rudiment right". The correct phrase is “fundamental rights”.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The student has demonstrated a good control of grammar with varied sentence structures. Some minor mistakes are present, such as "Many politicians offence sexual crimes", which should be "many politicians commit sexual offenses." Other than these few instances, the essay is generally accurate.
Overall: 7
The student's essay is competent and hits many of the necessary points. With a bit more practice in polishing grammar and maintaining cohesiveness throughout their writing, they could score higher.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree
제출한 라이팅
Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Nowadays, there is a discourse arguing that mass media like newspapers should secure politicians’ private lives. I strongly disagree with this point of view and in this essay, I will elucidate my opinion with examples.
There are many benefits of showcasing the politicians’ lives in newspapers. I believe the main one is that it can serve as a potent deterrent to embezzlement. What I mean by this is that if they try to embezzle bribe behind the public, hordes of newspaper reporters watch them, and this can be a great way to prevent capital crime. Furthermore, it can force politicians to live transparently. Take Korea for example. Many politicians offence sexual crimes using their authorities behind the people, and if it is uncovered/unveiled, some of them suicide so as not to have an impact on their political camp/party/agenda. In this case, if they feel a sense of fear that they are monitored by the public, they cannot do anything, related to crime.
Having said that, some people assert that they must be protected as human beings and maintain their fundamental rights. are also human and their private lives should be protected. This is because of human’s basic right. In other words, they also insist that it is obviously illegal conduct because it evades one’s private life. Thus, the politicians cannot strike a balance between their lives and professions, so that they cannot focus on their tasks/duties actively/efficiently.
In conclusion, although there is an argument that the mass media should guarantee politicians’ daily lives due to the human’s rudiment right, personally, I strongly believe that monitoring their private lives is advisible/recommendable way/method to prevent power abuse and sexual scandals.
Nowadays, there is a discourse arguing that mass media like newspapers should secure politicians’ private lives. I strongly disagree with this point of view and in this essay, I will elucidate my opinion with examples.
There are many benefits of showcasing the politicians’ lives in newspapers. I believe the main one is that it can serve as a potent deterrent to embezzlement. What I mean by this is that if they try to embezzle bribe behind the public, hordes of newspaper reporters watch them, and this can be a great way to prevent capital crime. Furthermore, it can force politicians to live transparently. Take Korea for example. Many politicians offence sexual crimes using their authorities behind the people, and if it is uncovered/unveiled, some of them suicide so as not to have an impact on their political camp/party/agenda. In this case, if they feel a sense of fear that they are monitored by the public, they cannot do anything, related to crime.
Having said that, some people assert that they must be protected as human beings and maintain their fundamental rights. are also human and their private lives should be protected. This is because of human’s basic right. In other words, they also insist that it is obviously illegal conduct because it evades one’s private life. Thus, the politicians cannot strike a balance between their lives and professions, so that they cannot focus on their tasks/duties actively/efficiently.
In conclusion, although there is an argument that the mass media should guarantee politicians’ daily lives due to the human’s rudiment right, personally, I strongly believe that monitoring their private lives is advisible/recommendable way/method to prevent power abuse and sexual scandals.
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