아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [6]
The student addresses both sides of the argument but could further elaborate on why some people think it's too late to address environmental issues. They do, however, make a clear stance that they believe it is not too late to make a change.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay is generally well-organized, with clearly delineated paragraphs representing different aspects of the argument. However, it could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and smoother transitions between ideas.
Lexical Resource: [6]
The vocabulary used is quite varied and generally appropriate. Nevertheless, the student uses a few words and phrases somewhat oddly ('efficiency ways,' 'do not action to think about late'), suggesting a need for a better grasp on more complex vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [5]
While a range of sentence structures are used, there are several noticeable grammar mistakes ('the number of people are,' 'it could not to bring,' and 'if there are nothing to improve') and awkward phrasing choices that hinder full comprehension.
Overall: [5.75]
Comments:
The essay is generally competent, with a clear argument, a logical structure, and a decent range of vocabulary. However, it's held back by a number of grammatical errors and occasional awkwardness in phrasing. Further practice, along with focused grammar instruction, would likely lead to improvement.
Task Response: [6]
The student addresses both sides of the argument but could further elaborate on why some people think it's too late to address environmental issues. They do, however, make a clear stance that they believe it is not too late to make a change.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay is generally well-organized, with clearly delineated paragraphs representing different aspects of the argument. However, it could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and smoother transitions between ideas.
Lexical Resource: [6]
The vocabulary used is quite varied and generally appropriate. Nevertheless, the student uses a few words and phrases somewhat oddly ('efficiency ways,' 'do not action to think about late'), suggesting a need for a better grasp on more complex vocabulary.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [5]
While a range of sentence structures are used, there are several noticeable grammar mistakes ('the number of people are,' 'it could not to bring,' and 'if there are nothing to improve') and awkward phrasing choices that hinder full comprehension.
Overall: [5.75]
Comments:
The essay is generally competent, with a clear argument, a logical structure, and a decent range of vocabulary. However, it's held back by a number of grammatical errors and occasional awkwardness in phrasing. Further practice, along with focused grammar instruction, would likely lead to improvement.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and
Essay:
It is undeniable that human activities are having adverse impacts on both flora and fauna. While some people feel it is too late to reverse the damage caused, others argue that it is possible to rectify the situation through effective strategies. I subscribe to the latter viewpoint.
There's no doubt that modern lifestyles and technological advancements have resulted in significant harm to our ecosystem, driving many plant and animal species on the brink of extinction. This is primarily due to the destruction of natural habitats such as forests and wildlife areas to make way for human developments. Further exacerbating the issue is the disregard of many people for the environment, choosing convenience over conservation. These actions seem selfish, but they are an unfortunate reality in our modern society.
Conversely, there is a growing community of environmentalists who believe in the possibility of rectifying these misdeeds. They advocate for the use of eco-friendly products and alternative modes of transportation like electric cars to reduce our carbon footprint. Although these endeavours might not show immediate results, I am convinced that their cumulative impact would significantly improve the health of the environment in the long run. Thus, my stance is that it is never too late to make a positive change.
In conclusion, despite the negative impact of human activities on the environment, I believe with collective and consistent efforts, reversal of the damage is possible.
Word Count: 226
Essay translated in Korean:
인간의 활동이 식물과 동물에 악영향을 미치는 것은 부인할 수 없다. 일부는 이미 피해를 되돌릴 수 없다고 느끼는 반면, 다른 이들은 효과적인 전략을 통해 상황을 바로잡는 것이 가능하다고 주장한다. 나는 후자의 견해에 동의한다.
현대적인 생활방식과 기술의 발전으로 인해 우리의 생태계는 상당한 피해를 입고, 많은 식물과 동물 종이 멸종의 경계에 있다. 이는 주로 삼림과 야생 동물 서식지와 같은 자연 서식지가 인간의 발전을 위해 파괴되기 때문이다. 이 문제를 더욱 악화시키는 것은 편의를 선택하는 많은 사람들이 환경에 대해 무시하는 것이다. 이 행동들은 이기적으로 보일 수 있지만, 이는 우리 현대사회에서 안타까운 현실이다.
반대로, 미래를 바로잡을 가능성을 믿는 환경주의자 커뮤니티가 늘고 있다. 그들은 탄소 발자국을 줄이기 위해 친환경 제품과 전기 자동차와 같은 대체 운송 수단의 사용을 옹호한다. 이런 노력들이 바로 결과를 가져오지는 못할지라도, 나는 장기적으로 환경의 건강을 대폭 개선할 수 있을 것이라고 확신한다. 따라서 나의 입장은 긍정적인 변화를 만드는 데 너무 늦은 것이라는 것은 없다는 것이다.
결론적으로, 인간의 활동이 환경에 부정적인 영향을 미치지만, 나는 집단적이고 지속적인 노력으로 피해를 거꾸로 돌릴 수 있다고 믿는다.
Good expressions:
1. adverse impacts: 부정적 영향
2. brink of extinction: 멸종의 경계
3. disregard for the environment: 환경에 대한 무시
4. advocate for: ~을 옹호하다
5. carbon footprint: 탄소 발자국
6. cumulative impact: 누적 영향
7. make a positive change: 긍정적인 변화를 만들다
8. reversal of the damage: 피해를 되돌리다.
It is undeniable that human activities are having adverse impacts on both flora and fauna. While some people feel it is too late to reverse the damage caused, others argue that it is possible to rectify the situation through effective strategies. I subscribe to the latter viewpoint.
There's no doubt that modern lifestyles and technological advancements have resulted in significant harm to our ecosystem, driving many plant and animal species on the brink of extinction. This is primarily due to the destruction of natural habitats such as forests and wildlife areas to make way for human developments. Further exacerbating the issue is the disregard of many people for the environment, choosing convenience over conservation. These actions seem selfish, but they are an unfortunate reality in our modern society.
Conversely, there is a growing community of environmentalists who believe in the possibility of rectifying these misdeeds. They advocate for the use of eco-friendly products and alternative modes of transportation like electric cars to reduce our carbon footprint. Although these endeavours might not show immediate results, I am convinced that their cumulative impact would significantly improve the health of the environment in the long run. Thus, my stance is that it is never too late to make a positive change.
In conclusion, despite the negative impact of human activities on the environment, I believe with collective and consistent efforts, reversal of the damage is possible.
Word Count: 226
Essay translated in Korean:
인간의 활동이 식물과 동물에 악영향을 미치는 것은 부인할 수 없다. 일부는 이미 피해를 되돌릴 수 없다고 느끼는 반면, 다른 이들은 효과적인 전략을 통해 상황을 바로잡는 것이 가능하다고 주장한다. 나는 후자의 견해에 동의한다.
현대적인 생활방식과 기술의 발전으로 인해 우리의 생태계는 상당한 피해를 입고, 많은 식물과 동물 종이 멸종의 경계에 있다. 이는 주로 삼림과 야생 동물 서식지와 같은 자연 서식지가 인간의 발전을 위해 파괴되기 때문이다. 이 문제를 더욱 악화시키는 것은 편의를 선택하는 많은 사람들이 환경에 대해 무시하는 것이다. 이 행동들은 이기적으로 보일 수 있지만, 이는 우리 현대사회에서 안타까운 현실이다.
반대로, 미래를 바로잡을 가능성을 믿는 환경주의자 커뮤니티가 늘고 있다. 그들은 탄소 발자국을 줄이기 위해 친환경 제품과 전기 자동차와 같은 대체 운송 수단의 사용을 옹호한다. 이런 노력들이 바로 결과를 가져오지는 못할지라도, 나는 장기적으로 환경의 건강을 대폭 개선할 수 있을 것이라고 확신한다. 따라서 나의 입장은 긍정적인 변화를 만드는 데 너무 늦은 것이라는 것은 없다는 것이다.
결론적으로, 인간의 활동이 환경에 부정적인 영향을 미치지만, 나는 집단적이고 지속적인 노력으로 피해를 거꾸로 돌릴 수 있다고 믿는다.
Good expressions:
1. adverse impacts: 부정적 영향
2. brink of extinction: 멸종의 경계
3. disregard for the environment: 환경에 대한 무시
4. advocate for: ~을 옹호하다
5. carbon footprint: 탄소 발자국
6. cumulative impact: 누적 영향
7. make a positive change: 긍정적인 변화를 만들다
8. reversal of the damage: 피해를 되돌리다.
제출한 라이팅
It is observed that plants and animals are affected negatively by human. Some people believe it is too late to address this issue, while others think that can improve this phenomenon with efficiency ways. I agree both opinions, but I strongly agree the latter view more.
To begin with, there are numerous human activities harmful to animals and plants. Especially, since development technology for people’s convenience, following this, the massive environmental space was destroyed such as wildlife and forests. People desire to convenience lifestyle more and more, for this reason, people would develop the technology consistently. In addition, people do not think much about the others, it seems like selfish, but it is reality of today’s society. That is why, people will never give up their convenience, as a result, improving environment will be hard.
However, if people start to improve environment for plants and animals from now on, it might bring unexpected results. Currently, the number of people are trying to prevent and change the environment constantly. For instance, usage of eco-friendly products, usage of electric car use, all of efforts are making to improve environment. It could not to bring the results right now, but I believe those efforts will bring positive effects to animals and plants in the future. Subsequently, I would like to say, do not give up if there are nothing to improve. Because if people do not action to think about late, the country will not develop anymore.
In conclusion, although human activities could bring a lot of negative effects to plants and animals, but I think if people act for improving environment from now on, it will bring possibility of improvement environment.
To begin with, there are numerous human activities harmful to animals and plants. Especially, since development technology for people’s convenience, following this, the massive environmental space was destroyed such as wildlife and forests. People desire to convenience lifestyle more and more, for this reason, people would develop the technology consistently. In addition, people do not think much about the others, it seems like selfish, but it is reality of today’s society. That is why, people will never give up their convenience, as a result, improving environment will be hard.
However, if people start to improve environment for plants and animals from now on, it might bring unexpected results. Currently, the number of people are trying to prevent and change the environment constantly. For instance, usage of eco-friendly products, usage of electric car use, all of efforts are making to improve environment. It could not to bring the results right now, but I believe those efforts will bring positive effects to animals and plants in the future. Subsequently, I would like to say, do not give up if there are nothing to improve. Because if people do not action to think about late, the country will not develop anymore.
In conclusion, although human activities could bring a lot of negative effects to plants and animals, but I think if people act for improving environment from now on, it will bring possibility of improvement environment.
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