아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Discussion
Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 8
The essay discusses both points of view as per the question prompt. It provides strong, relevant arguments for both perspectives, and takes a clear position in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
The essay shows logical progression of ideas and each paragraph has clear focus. The linkers are also appropriately and variedly used.
Lexical Resource: 8
The student has shown a good grasp of vocabulary with appropriate usage of complex words/phrases. They've also demonstrated the ability to discuss the topic in a nuanced way.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 9
The candidate uses a wide range of structures with flexibility. Errors are rare and the meaning is clear.
Overall: 8.25
The IELTS Band Score is rounded down to the nearest half band, so the overall Band Score is 8. The essay is well-structured with good use of vocabulary and complex sentence structures. The arguments are clear, relevant, and fully developed. Few grammatical mistakes can improve to perfect the writing.
Task Response: 8
The essay discusses both points of view as per the question prompt. It provides strong, relevant arguments for both perspectives, and takes a clear position in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
The essay shows logical progression of ideas and each paragraph has clear focus. The linkers are also appropriately and variedly used.
Lexical Resource: 8
The student has shown a good grasp of vocabulary with appropriate usage of complex words/phrases. They've also demonstrated the ability to discuss the topic in a nuanced way.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 9
The candidate uses a wide range of structures with flexibility. Errors are rare and the meaning is clear.
Overall: 8.25
The IELTS Band Score is rounded down to the nearest half band, so the overall Band Score is 8. The essay is well-structured with good use of vocabulary and complex sentence structures. The arguments are clear, relevant, and fully developed. Few grammatical mistakes can improve to perfect the writing.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and
Essay:
The debate over whether there are still possible solutions to save our endangered ecosystem or if it is too late, is an ongoing one. This essay focuses on both these perspectives, while drawing attention towards the necessity of timely intervention to mitigate the consequences.
The argument, which suggests that we have crossed the point of no return, hinges on the fact that human activities such as plastic dumping and deforestation have wreaked havoc on the environment. The extensive use of plastic has led to the obliteration of countless species, and the proliferation of such materials across the globe seems like an impossible crisis to control. Deforestation and poaching activities, on the other hand, have driven multiple species to extinction, and these species cannot be restored regardless of our efforts to reverse the damage.
On the other hand, there is a conviction held by some that viable solutions exist to improve our ecosystem. Stricter laws and regulations on disposal of waste can be implemented globally to significantly reduce pollution. Reserved territories for wildlife and prohibiting development in these areas can help restore and protect our ecosystems. Although resurrecting extinct species is beyond reach, consistent diligence towards protecting our forests and wildlife can surely prevent endangered species from going extinct.
In conclusion, despite the monumental challenges we face, it appears beneficial for humanity to tirelessly attempt to salvage and protect our rapidly deteriorating ecosystem.
Word count: 260
Essay translated in Korean:
우리의 멸종 위기 생태계를 구할 수 있는 가능한 해결책이 아직 있거나 이미 너무 늦었다는 논쟁은 계속되고 있다. 이 논문은 두 가지 관점에 초점을 맞추면서 결과를 완화하기 위한 적시의 개입의 필요성에 주목한다.
점점 반환할 수 없는 시점을 넘어선 것이라는 주장은, 플라스틱 처리와 삼림 벌목과 같은 인간 활동이 환경에 대해 초래한 피해에 기초하고 있다. 플라스틱의 광범위한 사용은 수많은 종의 멸망을 초래하였고, 이러한 재료가 전 세계적으로 빠르게 확산되는 것은 거의 통제 불능으로 보인다. 한편, 삼림 벌목과 포획 활동은 여러 종을 멸종으로 몰아넣었고, 이러한 종은 피해를 뒤집기 위해 우리가 노력해도 복원할 수 없다.
그러나, 일부 사람들은 우리 생태계를 개선할 수 있는 타당한 해결책들이 존재한다는 확신을 가지고 있다. 폐기물 처리에 대한 보다 엄격한 법률 및 규정을 전 세계적으로 시행하면 오염을 크게 줄일 수 있다. 야생동물을 위한 보호 지역을 지정하고 이러한 지역에서의 개발을 금지함으로써 우리의 생태계를 회복하고 보호할 수 있다. 멸종한 종을 되살려내는 것은 범위를 초월하지만, 우리의 숲과 야생동물을 보호하기 위해 지속적인 열의는 분명히 멸종 위기에 처한 종을 멸종시키는 것을 막을 수 있다.
결론적으로, 우리가 직면하는 거대한 도전에도 불구하고, 인류가 빠르게 악화되고 있는 우리 생태계를 구하고 보호하기 위해 지속적으로 노력하는 것이 유익해 보인다.
Good expressions:
1. Necessity of timely intervention - 적시의 개입의 필요성
2. Impossible crisis to control - 거의 통제 불능으로 보인다.
3. Stricter laws and regulations - 보다 엄격한 법률 및 규정
4. Rapidly deteriorating ecosystem - 빠르게 악화되고 있는 우리 생태계
The debate over whether there are still possible solutions to save our endangered ecosystem or if it is too late, is an ongoing one. This essay focuses on both these perspectives, while drawing attention towards the necessity of timely intervention to mitigate the consequences.
The argument, which suggests that we have crossed the point of no return, hinges on the fact that human activities such as plastic dumping and deforestation have wreaked havoc on the environment. The extensive use of plastic has led to the obliteration of countless species, and the proliferation of such materials across the globe seems like an impossible crisis to control. Deforestation and poaching activities, on the other hand, have driven multiple species to extinction, and these species cannot be restored regardless of our efforts to reverse the damage.
On the other hand, there is a conviction held by some that viable solutions exist to improve our ecosystem. Stricter laws and regulations on disposal of waste can be implemented globally to significantly reduce pollution. Reserved territories for wildlife and prohibiting development in these areas can help restore and protect our ecosystems. Although resurrecting extinct species is beyond reach, consistent diligence towards protecting our forests and wildlife can surely prevent endangered species from going extinct.
In conclusion, despite the monumental challenges we face, it appears beneficial for humanity to tirelessly attempt to salvage and protect our rapidly deteriorating ecosystem.
Word count: 260
Essay translated in Korean:
우리의 멸종 위기 생태계를 구할 수 있는 가능한 해결책이 아직 있거나 이미 너무 늦었다는 논쟁은 계속되고 있다. 이 논문은 두 가지 관점에 초점을 맞추면서 결과를 완화하기 위한 적시의 개입의 필요성에 주목한다.
점점 반환할 수 없는 시점을 넘어선 것이라는 주장은, 플라스틱 처리와 삼림 벌목과 같은 인간 활동이 환경에 대해 초래한 피해에 기초하고 있다. 플라스틱의 광범위한 사용은 수많은 종의 멸망을 초래하였고, 이러한 재료가 전 세계적으로 빠르게 확산되는 것은 거의 통제 불능으로 보인다. 한편, 삼림 벌목과 포획 활동은 여러 종을 멸종으로 몰아넣었고, 이러한 종은 피해를 뒤집기 위해 우리가 노력해도 복원할 수 없다.
그러나, 일부 사람들은 우리 생태계를 개선할 수 있는 타당한 해결책들이 존재한다는 확신을 가지고 있다. 폐기물 처리에 대한 보다 엄격한 법률 및 규정을 전 세계적으로 시행하면 오염을 크게 줄일 수 있다. 야생동물을 위한 보호 지역을 지정하고 이러한 지역에서의 개발을 금지함으로써 우리의 생태계를 회복하고 보호할 수 있다. 멸종한 종을 되살려내는 것은 범위를 초월하지만, 우리의 숲과 야생동물을 보호하기 위해 지속적인 열의는 분명히 멸종 위기에 처한 종을 멸종시키는 것을 막을 수 있다.
결론적으로, 우리가 직면하는 거대한 도전에도 불구하고, 인류가 빠르게 악화되고 있는 우리 생태계를 구하고 보호하기 위해 지속적으로 노력하는 것이 유익해 보인다.
Good expressions:
1. Necessity of timely intervention - 적시의 개입의 필요성
2. Impossible crisis to control - 거의 통제 불능으로 보인다.
3. Stricter laws and regulations - 보다 엄격한 법률 및 규정
4. Rapidly deteriorating ecosystem - 빠르게 악화되고 있는 우리 생태계
제출한 라이팅
While some people argue that humans are past the point of taking actions to address severe ecosystem issues, others insist that there are effective measures to alleviate this problem. Both views will be discussed, and I believe the latter view is more persuasive.
To begin with, some argue that it is unnecessary to take action to improve this situation. First of all, people have consistently discarded enormous quantities of plastic waste, resulting in the massive death of plant and animal species. As the plastic rubbish accumulates in wildlife and destroys plant habitats, it has already spread widely across the world, making it impossible to manage entirely. Moreover, a wide range of plant and animal species have become extinct due to deforestation and poaching. It is not possible to reproduce species that have already been eliminated, even with significant development efforts.
However, there are ways to mitigate this problem. First and foremost, governments worldwide can cooperate and impose strict regulations on the disposal of dump trash. This can lead to a reduction in rubbish, causing a revival of the ecosystem and preventing further environmental destruction. Additionally, by designating wildlife reserves and development-restricted areas, people can restore destroyed wildlife and forests. While it is impossible to bring back once-extinct species, consistent efforts to protect plants and animals can save endangered species.
In conclusion, although there are challenges that may seem insurmountable, there are also several ways to prevent pollution and protect the ecosystem. Therefore, humans should make constant efforts to tackle these issues.
To begin with, some argue that it is unnecessary to take action to improve this situation. First of all, people have consistently discarded enormous quantities of plastic waste, resulting in the massive death of plant and animal species. As the plastic rubbish accumulates in wildlife and destroys plant habitats, it has already spread widely across the world, making it impossible to manage entirely. Moreover, a wide range of plant and animal species have become extinct due to deforestation and poaching. It is not possible to reproduce species that have already been eliminated, even with significant development efforts.
However, there are ways to mitigate this problem. First and foremost, governments worldwide can cooperate and impose strict regulations on the disposal of dump trash. This can lead to a reduction in rubbish, causing a revival of the ecosystem and preventing further environmental destruction. Additionally, by designating wildlife reserves and development-restricted areas, people can restore destroyed wildlife and forests. While it is impossible to bring back once-extinct species, consistent efforts to protect plants and animals can save endangered species.
In conclusion, although there are challenges that may seem insurmountable, there are also several ways to prevent pollution and protect the ecosystem. Therefore, humans should make constant efforts to tackle these issues.
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