아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Discussion
We are surrounded by all kinds of advertising, which significantly influence our lives. Do the positive effects of advertising outweigh its negative effects?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay adequately addresses the task, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the balance between the positive and negative effects could be better. The writer has clearly favored the negative impacts, and thus the treatment of the topic seems slightly one-sided.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is logically organised and the arguments are coherent. There are clear linking words and phrases throughout the essay, which guide the reader and enhance the flow of ideas. But, the paragraphing can be improved, particularly in the second body paragraph where multiple ideas are crammed.
Lexical Resource: 7
Some degree of sophistication in vocabulary use is shown, with words and phrases like 'immensely', 'prevalence', 'commercial flood', 'impulsive consumption', 'misunderstandings', 'obstacles', etc used accurately. However, these lexis can still be upgraded to a more academic level.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The writer demonstrates a good control over complex grammatical structures. However, there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward structures like "stop advertisements from pop-upping". Moreover, more variety in sentence structure can improve this area.
Overall: 7
The essay adequately addresses the task with a clear position, solid reasoning and good examples. However, there is some unevenness in the treatment of the topic, a scope to improve the paragraphing and occasional issues with grammar and vocabulary. Hence, an overall band score of 7 seems appropriate.
Task Response: 7
The essay adequately addresses the task, presenting a clear opinion and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the balance between the positive and negative effects could be better. The writer has clearly favored the negative impacts, and thus the treatment of the topic seems slightly one-sided.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is logically organised and the arguments are coherent. There are clear linking words and phrases throughout the essay, which guide the reader and enhance the flow of ideas. But, the paragraphing can be improved, particularly in the second body paragraph where multiple ideas are crammed.
Lexical Resource: 7
Some degree of sophistication in vocabulary use is shown, with words and phrases like 'immensely', 'prevalence', 'commercial flood', 'impulsive consumption', 'misunderstandings', 'obstacles', etc used accurately. However, these lexis can still be upgraded to a more academic level.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The writer demonstrates a good control over complex grammatical structures. However, there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward structures like "stop advertisements from pop-upping". Moreover, more variety in sentence structure can improve this area.
Overall: 7
The essay adequately addresses the task with a clear position, solid reasoning and good examples. However, there is some unevenness in the treatment of the topic, a scope to improve the paragraphing and occasional issues with grammar and vocabulary. Hence, an overall band score of 7 seems appropriate.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
We are surrounded by all kinds of advertising, which significantly influence our lives. Do the positive effects of advertising outweigh its negative effects?
Essay:
In the digital era, the exposure to myriad advertisements through diverse forms of media is unprecedented, with a significant impact on our daily lives. The extent of these influences is expansive, encompassing both positive and negative aspects.
On the one hand, the presence of advertising offers substantial advantages to both corporations and consumers. Owing to online platforms, advertisers have the ability to craft and disseminate their commercials swiftly, directly swaying product demand and corporate profits. Additionally, consumers enjoy benefits too; advertisements provide them with information about a variety of products, aiding efficient decision-making and saving valuable time.
On the other hand, the omnipresence of advertising can trigger certain adverse outcomes. Many consumers, inundated by a tension of advertisements, may experience impulsive purchasing and a sense of discontentment and exhaustion. Many advertisements often deficient in truthfulness, compel people to quit planned purchases and dissipate their money unwisely. The overabundance of promotions can make consumers feel bombarded, hampering their online experience. As such, many opt to block ads across platforms, even at an additional cost, a trend that could potentially stagnate the advertising industry.
In conclusion, although technology and the internet have transformed advertising into a more streamlined process, the inundation of advertisements has repercussions which cannot be overlooked. Specifically, the negative aspects seem to weigh heavier than the benefits offered.
Word count: 224
Essay translated in Korean:
디지털 시대에는 다양한 형태의 미디어를 통한 수많은 광고가 앞서지며, 우리의 일상 생활에 중대한 영향을 미치고 있다. 이러한 영향력은 긍정적인 측면과 부정적인 측면을 모두 아우르는 광범위하다.
한편으로는 광고의 존재는 기업과 소비자 모두에게 상당한 이점을 제공한다. 온라인 플랫폼 덕분에 광고주는 광고를 신속히 제작하고 전파하는 능력을 갖게 되어, 제품 수요와 기업의 이익에 직접적인 영향을 준다. 또한 소비자도 이점을 누린다; 광고는 다양한 제품에 대한 정보를 제공하므로 효율적인 의사결정을 하고 귀중한 시간을 절약하는데 도움을 준다.
그러나 광고의 공포는 일부 부정적인 결과를 초래할 수 있다. 광고 홍수에 빠진 많은 소비자들은 충동적 구매와 불만감, 피로감을 경험할 수 있다. 많은 광고들은 진실성이 부족해 계획된 구매를 포기하고 돈을 헤프게 쓰도록 사람들을 강요한다. 프로모션의 과잉은 소비자들로 하여금 폭탄을 맞은 것처럼 느끼게 하며, 그들의 온라인 경험을 방해할 수 있다. 따라서, 많은 사람들은 플랫폼 전반에 걸쳐 광고를 차단하는 옵션을 선택하며, 추가 비용이 든다 하더라도 선택하는 추세로, 이는 광고 산업의 정체를 초래할 수 있다.
결론적으로, 기술과 인터넷은 광고를 더욱 효율적인 과정으로 변화시켰지만, 광고의 홍수는 무시할 수 없는 영향을 미친다. 특히, 부정적인 측면이 제공되는 혜택보다 더 무거워 보인다.
Good expressions:
1. exposure to myriad advertisements: 수많은 광고에 노출
2. craft and disseminate: 제작하고 전파하다
3. impulsive purchasing and a sense of discontentment and exhaustion: 충동적 구매와 불만감, 피로감
4. dissipate their money unwisely: 돈을 헤프게 내다
5. potential stagnation of the advertising industry: 광고 산업의 잠재적 정체.
In the digital era, the exposure to myriad advertisements through diverse forms of media is unprecedented, with a significant impact on our daily lives. The extent of these influences is expansive, encompassing both positive and negative aspects.
On the one hand, the presence of advertising offers substantial advantages to both corporations and consumers. Owing to online platforms, advertisers have the ability to craft and disseminate their commercials swiftly, directly swaying product demand and corporate profits. Additionally, consumers enjoy benefits too; advertisements provide them with information about a variety of products, aiding efficient decision-making and saving valuable time.
On the other hand, the omnipresence of advertising can trigger certain adverse outcomes. Many consumers, inundated by a tension of advertisements, may experience impulsive purchasing and a sense of discontentment and exhaustion. Many advertisements often deficient in truthfulness, compel people to quit planned purchases and dissipate their money unwisely. The overabundance of promotions can make consumers feel bombarded, hampering their online experience. As such, many opt to block ads across platforms, even at an additional cost, a trend that could potentially stagnate the advertising industry.
In conclusion, although technology and the internet have transformed advertising into a more streamlined process, the inundation of advertisements has repercussions which cannot be overlooked. Specifically, the negative aspects seem to weigh heavier than the benefits offered.
Word count: 224
Essay translated in Korean:
디지털 시대에는 다양한 형태의 미디어를 통한 수많은 광고가 앞서지며, 우리의 일상 생활에 중대한 영향을 미치고 있다. 이러한 영향력은 긍정적인 측면과 부정적인 측면을 모두 아우르는 광범위하다.
한편으로는 광고의 존재는 기업과 소비자 모두에게 상당한 이점을 제공한다. 온라인 플랫폼 덕분에 광고주는 광고를 신속히 제작하고 전파하는 능력을 갖게 되어, 제품 수요와 기업의 이익에 직접적인 영향을 준다. 또한 소비자도 이점을 누린다; 광고는 다양한 제품에 대한 정보를 제공하므로 효율적인 의사결정을 하고 귀중한 시간을 절약하는데 도움을 준다.
그러나 광고의 공포는 일부 부정적인 결과를 초래할 수 있다. 광고 홍수에 빠진 많은 소비자들은 충동적 구매와 불만감, 피로감을 경험할 수 있다. 많은 광고들은 진실성이 부족해 계획된 구매를 포기하고 돈을 헤프게 쓰도록 사람들을 강요한다. 프로모션의 과잉은 소비자들로 하여금 폭탄을 맞은 것처럼 느끼게 하며, 그들의 온라인 경험을 방해할 수 있다. 따라서, 많은 사람들은 플랫폼 전반에 걸쳐 광고를 차단하는 옵션을 선택하며, 추가 비용이 든다 하더라도 선택하는 추세로, 이는 광고 산업의 정체를 초래할 수 있다.
결론적으로, 기술과 인터넷은 광고를 더욱 효율적인 과정으로 변화시켰지만, 광고의 홍수는 무시할 수 없는 영향을 미친다. 특히, 부정적인 측면이 제공되는 혜택보다 더 무거워 보인다.
Good expressions:
1. exposure to myriad advertisements: 수많은 광고에 노출
2. craft and disseminate: 제작하고 전파하다
3. impulsive purchasing and a sense of discontentment and exhaustion: 충동적 구매와 불만감, 피로감
4. dissipate their money unwisely: 돈을 헤프게 내다
5. potential stagnation of the advertising industry: 광고 산업의 잠재적 정체.
제출한 라이팅
Modern people, nowadays, are immensely affected by numerous advertisements in various ways. I believe this trend causes negative impacts than conversely aspects.
In today’s world, people can observe numerous advertisements from vibrant media including Television, Internet, and applications they utilize on their smartphones. These commercials lead to several benefits to both companies and individuals. First of all, with the advanced Internet, promotion providers can easily create and convey commercials to directly impact their sales volume and profits. Furthermore, consumers are also helped to make informed decisions and time saving purchases by watching advertisements.
Nevertheless, I contend that with the prevalence of the commercial flood, many purchasers sometimes experience impulsive consumption and a sense of dissatisfaction and tiredness. Commercial-makers tend to add exaggerated or fake explanations in their advertisements to attract the publics’ attention. These misunderstandings push individuals to spend their money unwisely unlike their purchase plans. In addition, the excessive amount of promotions make consumers feel like a nuisance and obstacles on the way of their watching or searching process on the Internet. Consequently, many modern buyers stop advertisements from pop-upping in their social media accounts, Youtube, streaming services, and web pages with even paying services. This phenomenon discourage consumers to watch their commercial films and leads to potential stagnation of advertisement industry.
To conclude, with the development of the Internet and technology, the means of creating and transmitting advertisements can be easier and more efficient. However, I believe overwhelmed amount of commercial impact on both product providers and consumers negatively.
In today’s world, people can observe numerous advertisements from vibrant media including Television, Internet, and applications they utilize on their smartphones. These commercials lead to several benefits to both companies and individuals. First of all, with the advanced Internet, promotion providers can easily create and convey commercials to directly impact their sales volume and profits. Furthermore, consumers are also helped to make informed decisions and time saving purchases by watching advertisements.
Nevertheless, I contend that with the prevalence of the commercial flood, many purchasers sometimes experience impulsive consumption and a sense of dissatisfaction and tiredness. Commercial-makers tend to add exaggerated or fake explanations in their advertisements to attract the publics’ attention. These misunderstandings push individuals to spend their money unwisely unlike their purchase plans. In addition, the excessive amount of promotions make consumers feel like a nuisance and obstacles on the way of their watching or searching process on the Internet. Consequently, many modern buyers stop advertisements from pop-upping in their social media accounts, Youtube, streaming services, and web pages with even paying services. This phenomenon discourage consumers to watch their commercial films and leads to potential stagnation of advertisement industry.
To conclude, with the development of the Internet and technology, the means of creating and transmitting advertisements can be easier and more efficient. However, I believe overwhelmed amount of commercial impact on both product providers and consumers negatively.
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