아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Discussion
Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The student clearly provides his personal stance and discusses both perspectives on the issue. However, specific examples or claims to fully justify and explain each view are somewhat lacking.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The ideas are logically organized and transitions are used. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted due to awkward sentence structuring. Further, the essay could benefit from better cohesion between the paragraphs and a more effective linking of ideas.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student demonstrates a range of vocabulary including complex words. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and several words are repeated throughout the essay. For example, 'universe' and 'planet' are used repetitively without any synonyms used as variations.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
While the student shows a range of grammatical constructions, there are consistent errors in the essay, such as the misuse of 'for' and 'to' in sentence structures. Additionally, there are missing articles and incorrect verb tenses. Spelling errors are scattered throughout the essay, weakening the overall output.
Overall: 6.25
The essay generally addresses the task, but struggles with fluency and coherence due to grammatical inaccuracies and lack of a broad vocabulary. To improve, the student might benefit from refining their grammar, working on vocabulary diversification, and focusing more on clarity in their arguments.
Task Response: 7
The student clearly provides his personal stance and discusses both perspectives on the issue. However, specific examples or claims to fully justify and explain each view are somewhat lacking.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The ideas are logically organized and transitions are used. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted due to awkward sentence structuring. Further, the essay could benefit from better cohesion between the paragraphs and a more effective linking of ideas.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student demonstrates a range of vocabulary including complex words. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and several words are repeated throughout the essay. For example, 'universe' and 'planet' are used repetitively without any synonyms used as variations.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
While the student shows a range of grammatical constructions, there are consistent errors in the essay, such as the misuse of 'for' and 'to' in sentence structures. Additionally, there are missing articles and incorrect verb tenses. Spelling errors are scattered throughout the essay, weakening the overall output.
Overall: 6.25
The essay generally addresses the task, but struggles with fluency and coherence due to grammatical inaccuracies and lack of a broad vocabulary. To improve, the student might benefit from refining their grammar, working on vocabulary diversification, and focusing more on clarity in their arguments.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Essay:
There's a burgeoning debate regarding the allocation of governmental funds towards exploring extraterrestrial life versus addressing terrestrial issues. This essay will discuss both views, followed by my viewpoint.
On one side, advocates for space exploration believe it holds boundless potential and economic gains. Amid progressive complications such as energy shortages, food scarcity, and pollutants, they stress the significance of venturing into the unknown despite the considerable costs involved. The belief is that understanding outer space may provide innovative solutions to these problems, thereby heralding a new age of prosperity and advancement.
Conversely, critics emphasize that our limited resources should primarily benefit our species. As an example, the funding reserved for space exploration in the US over a decade was significantly higher than that allocated to social welfare. Critics argue for a more immediate and practical use of funds – aiding the less fortunate, boosting health services, and enhancing our infrastructure. Given that space exploration is a long-term, result-uncertain project, meeting urgent societal challenges remains their priority.
In conclusion, while the quest for life beyond Earth is a curiosity-driven endeavor, I firmly believe that our immediate concerns on Earth need more attention. We must primarily invest in solutions for the world we inhabit, ensuring that our limited resources better the lives of the global populace.
Word count: 250
Essay translation in Korean:
정부의 자금 배분에 대한 논란이 커지고 있습니다: 외계 생명체 탐사에 투자할 것인지, 지구상의 문제 해결에 투자할 것인지에 대한 것입니다. 이 에세이에서는 두 가지 견해에 대해 논의한 후, 제 견해를 밝히겠습니다.
한편으로는, 우주 탐사의 지지자들은 그것이 무한한 잠재력과 경제적 이익을 가져다 줄 것이라고 믿습니다. 에너지 부족, 식량 부족, 오염 등 대두되는 복잡한 문제들 가운데, 그들은 상당한 비용이 든다 하더라도 알려지지 않은 것을 탐구하는 것의 중요성을 강조합니다. 이해는 우주를 이해함으로써 이런 문제들에 대한 혁신적인 해결책을 제공하게 될 것이며, 이는 새로운 번영과 발전의 시대를 앞당길 것이라는 믿음입니다.
그와 대조적으로, 비판적인 입장에서는 제한된 우리의 자원이 주로 우리 종에게 혜택을 줘야 한다는 것을 강조합니다. 예를 들어, 미국에서 지난 10년 동안 우주탐사에 예약된 자금은 사회 복지에 할당된 것보다 훨씬 많았습니다. 비평가들은 자금의 더 실용적이고 즉각적인 사용을 주장합니다 - 덜 운 좋은 사람들을 돕고, 건강 서비스를 강화하며, 우리의 인프라를 향상시키는 것. 우주탐사가 장기적이고 결과가 불확실한 프로젝트인 것을 고려하면, 그들의 우선순위는 급한 사회적 도전 과제를 만나는 것입니다.
결론적으로, 지구 밖의 생명에 대한 탐구는 호기심이 주도하는 과정이지만, 저는 지구상의 즉각적인 고민들이 더 많은 관심을 필요로 한다고 확고히 믿습니다. 우리는 먼저 우리가 거주하는 세상에 대한 해결책에 투자해야 하며, 제한된 자원이 전 세계 인구의 삶을 개선하는 데 사용되도록 해야 합니다.
Good expressions:
1. "boundless potential and economic gains" - 무한한 잠재력과 경제적 이익
2. "heralding a new age of prosperity and advancement" - 새로운 번영과 발전의 시대를 앞당기는
3. "meeting urgent societal challenges remains their priority" - 급한 사회적 도전 과제를 만나는 것이 그들의 우선순위가 남아있다
4. "invest in solutions for the world we inhabit" - 우리가 거주하는 세상에 대한 해결책에 투자
5. "better the lives of the global populace" - 전 세계 인구의 삶을 개선하다
There's a burgeoning debate regarding the allocation of governmental funds towards exploring extraterrestrial life versus addressing terrestrial issues. This essay will discuss both views, followed by my viewpoint.
On one side, advocates for space exploration believe it holds boundless potential and economic gains. Amid progressive complications such as energy shortages, food scarcity, and pollutants, they stress the significance of venturing into the unknown despite the considerable costs involved. The belief is that understanding outer space may provide innovative solutions to these problems, thereby heralding a new age of prosperity and advancement.
Conversely, critics emphasize that our limited resources should primarily benefit our species. As an example, the funding reserved for space exploration in the US over a decade was significantly higher than that allocated to social welfare. Critics argue for a more immediate and practical use of funds – aiding the less fortunate, boosting health services, and enhancing our infrastructure. Given that space exploration is a long-term, result-uncertain project, meeting urgent societal challenges remains their priority.
In conclusion, while the quest for life beyond Earth is a curiosity-driven endeavor, I firmly believe that our immediate concerns on Earth need more attention. We must primarily invest in solutions for the world we inhabit, ensuring that our limited resources better the lives of the global populace.
Word count: 250
Essay translation in Korean:
정부의 자금 배분에 대한 논란이 커지고 있습니다: 외계 생명체 탐사에 투자할 것인지, 지구상의 문제 해결에 투자할 것인지에 대한 것입니다. 이 에세이에서는 두 가지 견해에 대해 논의한 후, 제 견해를 밝히겠습니다.
한편으로는, 우주 탐사의 지지자들은 그것이 무한한 잠재력과 경제적 이익을 가져다 줄 것이라고 믿습니다. 에너지 부족, 식량 부족, 오염 등 대두되는 복잡한 문제들 가운데, 그들은 상당한 비용이 든다 하더라도 알려지지 않은 것을 탐구하는 것의 중요성을 강조합니다. 이해는 우주를 이해함으로써 이런 문제들에 대한 혁신적인 해결책을 제공하게 될 것이며, 이는 새로운 번영과 발전의 시대를 앞당길 것이라는 믿음입니다.
그와 대조적으로, 비판적인 입장에서는 제한된 우리의 자원이 주로 우리 종에게 혜택을 줘야 한다는 것을 강조합니다. 예를 들어, 미국에서 지난 10년 동안 우주탐사에 예약된 자금은 사회 복지에 할당된 것보다 훨씬 많았습니다. 비평가들은 자금의 더 실용적이고 즉각적인 사용을 주장합니다 - 덜 운 좋은 사람들을 돕고, 건강 서비스를 강화하며, 우리의 인프라를 향상시키는 것. 우주탐사가 장기적이고 결과가 불확실한 프로젝트인 것을 고려하면, 그들의 우선순위는 급한 사회적 도전 과제를 만나는 것입니다.
결론적으로, 지구 밖의 생명에 대한 탐구는 호기심이 주도하는 과정이지만, 저는 지구상의 즉각적인 고민들이 더 많은 관심을 필요로 한다고 확고히 믿습니다. 우리는 먼저 우리가 거주하는 세상에 대한 해결책에 투자해야 하며, 제한된 자원이 전 세계 인구의 삶을 개선하는 데 사용되도록 해야 합니다.
Good expressions:
1. "boundless potential and economic gains" - 무한한 잠재력과 경제적 이익
2. "heralding a new age of prosperity and advancement" - 새로운 번영과 발전의 시대를 앞당기는
3. "meeting urgent societal challenges remains their priority" - 급한 사회적 도전 과제를 만나는 것이 그들의 우선순위가 남아있다
4. "invest in solutions for the world we inhabit" - 우리가 거주하는 세상에 대한 해결책에 투자
5. "better the lives of the global populace" - 전 세계 인구의 삶을 개선하다
제출한 라이팅
In recent years, exploring the universe has become in common. It is a common belief that many countries should invest their budget to study for other planets. However, there is a more persuasive arguement that the money should be use for addressing a lot of issues on earth. In this essay, I will deal with both views before my opinion.
On the one hand, proponents of spending money for universe exploring assert that it can bring unlimited abilities and potential profits for human. In modern era, mankind has faced a number of problem such as energy, food, pollution, which is hard to solve. That's why they argue the importance of other planets even though astronomical cost is needed to study the unknown world,
On the other hand, opponents insist that we should use our limited fund for human being. For instance, We need to support many people who are in need. As searching for life on the universe is a long-term assignment and cannot see the outcome, we should pay for our urgent social problem first. According to the statistics in US, the money we spent for investing the universe during a decade was great larger than for social welfare such as saving the people who were in famines, supporting the medical system, making social infrastrure.
To sum up, while seeking for life on other planets is crucial field to dig into, I firmly beileve that to solve problems we faced now is much important and significant. If we use the fund for people who are in need, instead of using up the research, it is more efficient and valuable.
On the one hand, proponents of spending money for universe exploring assert that it can bring unlimited abilities and potential profits for human. In modern era, mankind has faced a number of problem such as energy, food, pollution, which is hard to solve. That's why they argue the importance of other planets even though astronomical cost is needed to study the unknown world,
On the other hand, opponents insist that we should use our limited fund for human being. For instance, We need to support many people who are in need. As searching for life on the universe is a long-term assignment and cannot see the outcome, we should pay for our urgent social problem first. According to the statistics in US, the money we spent for investing the universe during a decade was great larger than for social welfare such as saving the people who were in famines, supporting the medical system, making social infrastrure.
To sum up, while seeking for life on other planets is crucial field to dig into, I firmly beileve that to solve problems we faced now is much important and significant. If we use the fund for people who are in need, instead of using up the research, it is more efficient and valuable.
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