아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Discussion
Nowadays, in many countries chemicals are used to produce and preserve food. Do the advantages of this trend overweigh the disadvantages?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses the question and presents a clear position throughout the response. The main ideas are adequately presented, developed, and supported.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
Information and ideas are logically organized. The essay demonstrates an appropriate usage of cohesive devices and paragraphing. However, a further expansion could have been made on the third paragraph.
Lexical Resource: 8
The essay has used a good range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. There is also a use of less common words or phrases that express ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and they are generally error-free. There is a good control of structures, although the complexity is not varied.
Overall: 7.4
Task Response: 7
The essay addresses the question and presents a clear position throughout the response. The main ideas are adequately presented, developed, and supported.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
Information and ideas are logically organized. The essay demonstrates an appropriate usage of cohesive devices and paragraphing. However, a further expansion could have been made on the third paragraph.
Lexical Resource: 8
The essay has used a good range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. There is also a use of less common words or phrases that express ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and they are generally error-free. There is a good control of structures, although the complexity is not varied.
Overall: 7.4
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Nowadays, in many countries chemicals are used to produce and preserve food.
Do the advantages of this trend overweigh the disadvantages?
Essay:
The increasing use of chemicals in processing and preserving food has become a pervasive trend globally. This essay will discuss both the merits and the demerits of this phenomenon, concluding that the advantages significantly outdo the downsides.
The major criticism associated with the use of chemical food additives is the potential harm they could inflict on human health. An excessive intake of these substances can potentially lead to life-threatening conditions such as cancer and diabetes. Therefore, it is suggested by some health experts that the consumption of food with a high concentration of additives must be curtailed to maintain and promote good health.
On the flip side, it is worth acknowledging the benefits that come with using synthetic preservatives. Most notable is the extended shelf life of products, resulting from the potent antimicrobial properties of these ingredients. Take, for instance, the numerous grocery items that can be kept fresh for prolonged periods due to the bounty of incorporated preservatives. This feature ensures that consumers have access to a vast spectrum of fresh and unspoiled meals at any given time. Moreover, this convenience and diversity in food options account for the growing acceptance and use of chemical preservatives.
In conclusion, despite some potential health concerns associated with chemical food additives, their increasing incorporation into food processing and preservation is justified by the enhanced shelf life of groceries and the convenience they offer to consumers.
Word count: 260
Essay translated in Korean:
세계적으로 식품 가공 및 보존에 화학물질을 사용하는 것이 증가하는 추세가 되었습니다. 이 논문에서는 이러한 현상의 장점과 단점을 모두 논의하고, 장점이 단점을 크게 앞선다는 결론을 내리겠습니다.
화학적 식품 첨가물 사용에 대한 주요한 비판은 그것들이 인간의 건강에 가할 수 있는 잠재적인 해를 중심으로 합니다. 이러한 물질을 과도하게 섭취하면 암이나 당뇨병과 같은 치명적인 사태로 이어질 수 있습니다. 따라서 일부 건강 전문가들은 첨가물 함유량이 높은 음식의 섭취를 줄여 건강을 유지하고 증진시켜야 한다고 제안합니다.
반면에, 합성 보존제를 사용함으로써 얻을 수 있는 이점도 인정할 만한 가치가 있습니다. 가장 주목할 만한 것은 이러한 성분들의 강력한 항미생물 특성으로 인한 제품의 유통기한이 연장된다는 점입니다. 예를 들어, 다수의 식료품 항목은 포함된 보존제의 풍성함에 의해 오랜 시간 동안 신선하게 유지될 수 있습니다. 이 특성은 소비자가 언제든지 신선하고 손상되지 않은 식사를 다양하게 즐길 수 있도록 합니다. 또한, 이러한 편리함과 음식 옵션의 다양성은 화학적 보존제의 사용이 점점 증가하는 이유입니다.
결론적으로, 화학적 식품 첨가물과 관련된 일부 잠재적인 건강 문제에 대해 조심스러움에도 불구하고, 식품 가공 및 보존에 그들의 증가하는 통합은 식료품의 향상된 유통기한과 소비자에게 제공하는 편의성로 인해 정당화됩니다.
Good expressions:
1. pervasive trend - 만연하는 추세
2. potential harm - 잠재적인 해
3. curtailed - 줄이다
4. potent antimicrobial properties - 강력한 항미생물 특성
5. bounty of incorporated preservatives - 포함된 보존제의 풍성함
6. vast spectrum - 광범위한 스펙트럼
7. growing acceptance – 점점 인정받는 것.
The increasing use of chemicals in processing and preserving food has become a pervasive trend globally. This essay will discuss both the merits and the demerits of this phenomenon, concluding that the advantages significantly outdo the downsides.
The major criticism associated with the use of chemical food additives is the potential harm they could inflict on human health. An excessive intake of these substances can potentially lead to life-threatening conditions such as cancer and diabetes. Therefore, it is suggested by some health experts that the consumption of food with a high concentration of additives must be curtailed to maintain and promote good health.
On the flip side, it is worth acknowledging the benefits that come with using synthetic preservatives. Most notable is the extended shelf life of products, resulting from the potent antimicrobial properties of these ingredients. Take, for instance, the numerous grocery items that can be kept fresh for prolonged periods due to the bounty of incorporated preservatives. This feature ensures that consumers have access to a vast spectrum of fresh and unspoiled meals at any given time. Moreover, this convenience and diversity in food options account for the growing acceptance and use of chemical preservatives.
In conclusion, despite some potential health concerns associated with chemical food additives, their increasing incorporation into food processing and preservation is justified by the enhanced shelf life of groceries and the convenience they offer to consumers.
Word count: 260
Essay translated in Korean:
세계적으로 식품 가공 및 보존에 화학물질을 사용하는 것이 증가하는 추세가 되었습니다. 이 논문에서는 이러한 현상의 장점과 단점을 모두 논의하고, 장점이 단점을 크게 앞선다는 결론을 내리겠습니다.
화학적 식품 첨가물 사용에 대한 주요한 비판은 그것들이 인간의 건강에 가할 수 있는 잠재적인 해를 중심으로 합니다. 이러한 물질을 과도하게 섭취하면 암이나 당뇨병과 같은 치명적인 사태로 이어질 수 있습니다. 따라서 일부 건강 전문가들은 첨가물 함유량이 높은 음식의 섭취를 줄여 건강을 유지하고 증진시켜야 한다고 제안합니다.
반면에, 합성 보존제를 사용함으로써 얻을 수 있는 이점도 인정할 만한 가치가 있습니다. 가장 주목할 만한 것은 이러한 성분들의 강력한 항미생물 특성으로 인한 제품의 유통기한이 연장된다는 점입니다. 예를 들어, 다수의 식료품 항목은 포함된 보존제의 풍성함에 의해 오랜 시간 동안 신선하게 유지될 수 있습니다. 이 특성은 소비자가 언제든지 신선하고 손상되지 않은 식사를 다양하게 즐길 수 있도록 합니다. 또한, 이러한 편리함과 음식 옵션의 다양성은 화학적 보존제의 사용이 점점 증가하는 이유입니다.
결론적으로, 화학적 식품 첨가물과 관련된 일부 잠재적인 건강 문제에 대해 조심스러움에도 불구하고, 식품 가공 및 보존에 그들의 증가하는 통합은 식료품의 향상된 유통기한과 소비자에게 제공하는 편의성로 인해 정당화됩니다.
Good expressions:
1. pervasive trend - 만연하는 추세
2. potential harm - 잠재적인 해
3. curtailed - 줄이다
4. potent antimicrobial properties - 강력한 항미생물 특성
5. bounty of incorporated preservatives - 포함된 보존제의 풍성함
6. vast spectrum - 광범위한 스펙트럼
7. growing acceptance – 점점 인정받는 것.
제출한 라이팅
In the modern world, it has become common in various areas around the world to use food additives for manufacturing and storing products. This essay will argue that the benefits of the products outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin with, chemical substances used in nutrition have a negative effect on our physical health. Too much chemical may damage our bodies and cause dangerous diseases such as cancer or diabetes. Some food experts say that we should reduce the use of preservatives that make food look artificial. For this reason, it may be a better option to avoid foods that contain too many preservatives to stay healthy.
On the other hand, the expiry date of most products has increased due to the synthetic ingredient. The reason for this is that these ingredients contain elements that protect food against the induction of fungi or bacteria. For instance, foods in most supermarkets and grocery stores are packaged with huge amount of nutritional supplements so that they can be served longer. As a result, customers are able to eat variety of meals without any concern. Furthermore, these products not only make it easier for people to purchase them, but also provide a wide range of choices.
In conclusion, there are a lot of arguments about the addition of chemicals to foods or products. Some of them believe that it can have a negative impact. However, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because the products can be kept for a long time for customers and it is convenient to buy large amounts without any worries.
To begin with, chemical substances used in nutrition have a negative effect on our physical health. Too much chemical may damage our bodies and cause dangerous diseases such as cancer or diabetes. Some food experts say that we should reduce the use of preservatives that make food look artificial. For this reason, it may be a better option to avoid foods that contain too many preservatives to stay healthy.
On the other hand, the expiry date of most products has increased due to the synthetic ingredient. The reason for this is that these ingredients contain elements that protect food against the induction of fungi or bacteria. For instance, foods in most supermarkets and grocery stores are packaged with huge amount of nutritional supplements so that they can be served longer. As a result, customers are able to eat variety of meals without any concern. Furthermore, these products not only make it easier for people to purchase them, but also provide a wide range of choices.
In conclusion, there are a lot of arguments about the addition of chemicals to foods or products. Some of them believe that it can have a negative impact. However, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because the products can be kept for a long time for customers and it is convenient to buy large amounts without any worries.
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