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the graph below gives the information about consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 8
The essay adequately addresses all parts of the task. The introduction presents a clear overview of the graph, and the main features are reported, with data to support them. Trends are clearly identified and comparisons made.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
The essay is logically organized, with clear introductory and concluding statements, and cohesive devices used effectively to transition from one point to next. The information is presented in a logical and clear manner.
Lexical Resource: 8
The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow the essay to be communicated clearly. Terminologies like "plummeted", "ascended dramatically", "surpassed", and "stable" are good examples of the different words used to express change.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 9
A wide range of grammatical constructions is used correctly. There is an accurate use of complex sentences and varied sentence structures, which provide a good variety of grammar for this task.
Overall: 8.25
In total, the essay is well-written. All aspects of the task are fulfilled, with clear and precise descriptions. The essay is well-coordinated and uses a variety of suitable vocabulary and grammatical structures. As a result, the overall score is 8.25.
Task Response: 8
The essay adequately addresses all parts of the task. The introduction presents a clear overview of the graph, and the main features are reported, with data to support them. Trends are clearly identified and comparisons made.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
The essay is logically organized, with clear introductory and concluding statements, and cohesive devices used effectively to transition from one point to next. The information is presented in a logical and clear manner.
Lexical Resource: 8
The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow the essay to be communicated clearly. Terminologies like "plummeted", "ascended dramatically", "surpassed", and "stable" are good examples of the different words used to express change.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 9
A wide range of grammatical constructions is used correctly. There is an accurate use of complex sentences and varied sentence structures, which provide a good variety of grammar for this task.
Overall: 8.25
In total, the essay is well-written. All aspects of the task are fulfilled, with clear and precise descriptions. The essay is well-coordinated and uses a variety of suitable vocabulary and grammatical structures. As a result, the overall score is 8.25.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
the graph below gives the information about consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparions where relevant.
Essay:
The line graph elucidates the consumption patterns of three distinct spreads: margarine, low fat & reduced spread, and butter across a span of 26 years from 1981 through 2007, with quantities in grams being the unit of measurement.
The initial decade saw butter taking the lead as the most popular spread, though, by 1991, it was eclipsed in popularity by margarine. A major shift occurred mid-way when a fresh category, that of low fat & reduced spreads was introduced in 1996, concluding the period as the most widely consumed spread in the year of 2007.
A deeper analysis of the graph reveals a descending pattern in butter consumption that began from 1986 and extended till 2007, plummeting from 160 grams to 50 grams. Whilst margarine kept a steady graph between 80 and 100 grams from 1981 to 2001, a sharp decline to 40 grams is observed in the following years. On contrary, the onset of low fat and reduced spreads in 1996 with a mere 10 grams consumption surged exponentially, catching up with margarine by 2001, with it becoming the spread of choice in subsequent years.
In conclusion, while butter enjoyed the dominant status initially, the preferences shifted towards margarine and ultimately towards low fat & reduced spreads by the end of the period.
Word count: 211
Essay translated in Korean:
선 그래프는 1981년부터 2007년까지의 26년 동안 마가린, 저지방 및 감량 스프레드, 버터 세 가지 스프레드의 소비 패턴을 설명합니다. 그래프에서는 그램을 단위로 양을 측정합니다.
첫 10년 동안 버터가 가장 인기 있는 스프레드였지만, 1991년에 마가린이 이를 앞질렀습니다. 중요한 변화는 1996년 저지방 및 감량 스프레드라는 새로운 카테고리가 도입되면서 일어났고, 이것이 2007년에 가장 널리 소비된 스프레드였습니다.
그래프를 더 자세히 분석해 보면 1986년부터 2007년까지 버터 소비량이 160그램에서 50그램으로 급격히 감소하는 하락세를 보입니다. 1981년에서 2001년까지 마가린은 80그램과 100그램 사이에서 꾸준했지만, 이후 몇 년 동안에는 40그램으로 급격히 감소하였습니다. 반면에 1996년에 10그램의 소비량으로 시작한 저지방 및 감량 스프레드는 기하급수적으로 증가하여 2001년에 마가린과 동등한 수준에 이르렀고, 이후에는 가장 선호하는 스프레드가 되었습니다.
결론적으로, 초기에는 버터가 주도적인 지위를 차지했지만, 기간이 지남에 따라 마가린으로, 그리고 마침내 저지방 & 감량 스프레드로 선호도가 이동하였습니다.
Good expressions:
1. elucidates the consumption patterns - 소비 패턴을 명확히 설명합니다
2. a span of 26 years - 26년의 범위
3. a sharper decline - 더욱 급격한 하락
4. a mere - 단지
5. surged exponentially - 기하급수적으로 증가하다
6. spread of choice - 선호하는 스프레드
The line graph elucidates the consumption patterns of three distinct spreads: margarine, low fat & reduced spread, and butter across a span of 26 years from 1981 through 2007, with quantities in grams being the unit of measurement.
The initial decade saw butter taking the lead as the most popular spread, though, by 1991, it was eclipsed in popularity by margarine. A major shift occurred mid-way when a fresh category, that of low fat & reduced spreads was introduced in 1996, concluding the period as the most widely consumed spread in the year of 2007.
A deeper analysis of the graph reveals a descending pattern in butter consumption that began from 1986 and extended till 2007, plummeting from 160 grams to 50 grams. Whilst margarine kept a steady graph between 80 and 100 grams from 1981 to 2001, a sharp decline to 40 grams is observed in the following years. On contrary, the onset of low fat and reduced spreads in 1996 with a mere 10 grams consumption surged exponentially, catching up with margarine by 2001, with it becoming the spread of choice in subsequent years.
In conclusion, while butter enjoyed the dominant status initially, the preferences shifted towards margarine and ultimately towards low fat & reduced spreads by the end of the period.
Word count: 211
Essay translated in Korean:
선 그래프는 1981년부터 2007년까지의 26년 동안 마가린, 저지방 및 감량 스프레드, 버터 세 가지 스프레드의 소비 패턴을 설명합니다. 그래프에서는 그램을 단위로 양을 측정합니다.
첫 10년 동안 버터가 가장 인기 있는 스프레드였지만, 1991년에 마가린이 이를 앞질렀습니다. 중요한 변화는 1996년 저지방 및 감량 스프레드라는 새로운 카테고리가 도입되면서 일어났고, 이것이 2007년에 가장 널리 소비된 스프레드였습니다.
그래프를 더 자세히 분석해 보면 1986년부터 2007년까지 버터 소비량이 160그램에서 50그램으로 급격히 감소하는 하락세를 보입니다. 1981년에서 2001년까지 마가린은 80그램과 100그램 사이에서 꾸준했지만, 이후 몇 년 동안에는 40그램으로 급격히 감소하였습니다. 반면에 1996년에 10그램의 소비량으로 시작한 저지방 및 감량 스프레드는 기하급수적으로 증가하여 2001년에 마가린과 동등한 수준에 이르렀고, 이후에는 가장 선호하는 스프레드가 되었습니다.
결론적으로, 초기에는 버터가 주도적인 지위를 차지했지만, 기간이 지남에 따라 마가린으로, 그리고 마침내 저지방 & 감량 스프레드로 선호도가 이동하였습니다.
Good expressions:
1. elucidates the consumption patterns - 소비 패턴을 명확히 설명합니다
2. a span of 26 years - 26년의 범위
3. a sharper decline - 더욱 급격한 하락
4. a mere - 단지
5. surged exponentially - 기하급수적으로 증가하다
6. spread of choice - 선호하는 스프레드
제출한 라이팅
The line graph states the amount of consumption of margarine, Low fat & reduced spread and butter over 26 years from 1981 to 2007. Units are measured in grams.
Overall, it is clear that butter was the most popular spread for the first 10 years of the period in question. However, the consumption of margarine surpassed in 1991. New spread type, Low fat & reduced spreads introduced in 1996 and its consumption was the highest one in the final year.
Looking at the graph more closely, a downward trend was seen in the consumption of butter from 1986 to 2007. The amount of butter intake was 160 grams at the beginning, but it plummeted to 50 grams in the last year. The pattern of consumption of margarine was relatively stable from 1981 to 2001, showing the grams of intake was between 80 grams and 100 grams. Nevertheless, it dipped notably, falling to 40 grams in subsequent years.
On the other hand, the consumption of low fat and reduced spreads, new kinds of spreads, started in 1996 at 10 grams. Furthermore, the amount of intake ascended dramatically and tied with the consumption of margarine in 2001. Low fat and reduced spreads had the biggest amount of grams afterwards.
Overall, it is clear that butter was the most popular spread for the first 10 years of the period in question. However, the consumption of margarine surpassed in 1991. New spread type, Low fat & reduced spreads introduced in 1996 and its consumption was the highest one in the final year.
Looking at the graph more closely, a downward trend was seen in the consumption of butter from 1986 to 2007. The amount of butter intake was 160 grams at the beginning, but it plummeted to 50 grams in the last year. The pattern of consumption of margarine was relatively stable from 1981 to 2001, showing the grams of intake was between 80 grams and 100 grams. Nevertheless, it dipped notably, falling to 40 grams in subsequent years.
On the other hand, the consumption of low fat and reduced spreads, new kinds of spreads, started in 1996 at 10 grams. Furthermore, the amount of intake ascended dramatically and tied with the consumption of margarine in 2001. Low fat and reduced spreads had the biggest amount of grams afterwards.
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