AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Discussion
Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [5]
The essay addresses the task directly, presenting two opposing views and the writer's own opinion. However, while the arguments for both city and country living are somewhat explored, the writer's own opinion is not clearly stated or strongly defended.
Coherence & Cohesion: [5]
While the essay has a generally logical progression, there are times when the essay lacks structure and clarity. For instance, within several sentences, their meanings are obscured because proper linking words aren't fully utilized, which disrupts the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource: [6]
The keyword range that is used reveals a reasonable familiarity with subject-specific words, however, there are several misused terms and awkward phrasing throughout the essay, causing reader confusion.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy:[5]
There's a reasonable variety of complex sentences used, although with a number of basic and avoidable mistakes. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect use of plurals and articles, and inconsistency in verb tenses.
Overall: [5.25]
This essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the task but fails to deliver it effectively due to confusion in expression, a lack of structure, and avoidable grammatical mistakes. There is room for improvement in all areas.
Task Response: [5]
The essay addresses the task directly, presenting two opposing views and the writer's own opinion. However, while the arguments for both city and country living are somewhat explored, the writer's own opinion is not clearly stated or strongly defended.
Coherence & Cohesion: [5]
While the essay has a generally logical progression, there are times when the essay lacks structure and clarity. For instance, within several sentences, their meanings are obscured because proper linking words aren't fully utilized, which disrupts the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource: [6]
The keyword range that is used reveals a reasonable familiarity with subject-specific words, however, there are several misused terms and awkward phrasing throughout the essay, causing reader confusion.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy:[5]
There's a reasonable variety of complex sentences used, although with a number of basic and avoidable mistakes. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect use of plurals and articles, and inconsistency in verb tenses.
Overall: [5.25]
This essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the task but fails to deliver it effectively due to confusion in expression, a lack of structure, and avoidable grammatical mistakes. There is room for improvement in all areas.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Essay:
There is a perennial debate if children are better off growing up in the bustling environs of a city or the serene locales of the countryside. Both areas offer unique benefits to the upbringing of the young ones, though I tend to lean towards the countryside as a more suitable location for child-rearing.
Supporting urban upbringing, people argue the city presents more opportunities for children. The city offers a plethora of educational and social facilities that enable children to cultivate a well-rounded personality. For instance, cities like Seoul, with their expansive school networks, provide children with a competitive edge for university entrance exams and potential job opportunities.
On the contrary, proponents of countryside living argue the rural environment offers a healthier and safer life for toddlers. The lack of pollutants and low crime rate are conditions that favor physical well-being and security of children. Studies demonstrate that countryside areas report lower levels of fine particulate matter compared to cities. Additionally, the crime rates in rural areas are significantly less, indicating a safer environment for children.
In conclusion, although city living offers educational and social benefits, the tranquil countryside provides an environment that promotes health and safety. Therefore, I believe that countryside living is more preferable for nurturing children.
Word count: 218
Essay translated in Korean:
어린이를 도시의 번잡한 환경에서 키우는 것이 더 좋은지, 시골의 평온한 장소에서 키우는 것이 더 적합한지에 대한 논쟁이 끊이지 않습니다. 두 환경 모두 어린이들의 성장에 독특한 이점을 제공하지만, 저는 어린이를 기르기 위해 시골 환경이 더 적합하다고 생각합니다.
도시에서 어린이를 키우는 것을 지지하는 사람들은 도시가 어린이에게 더 많은 기회를 제공한다고 주장합니다. 도시는 어린이들이 다방면의 인격을 형성할 수 있게 하는 교육 및 사회 시설을 풍부하게 제공합니다. 예를 들어, 서울과 같은 도시는 넓은 학교 네트워크를 통해 어린이들에게 대학 입학 시험 및 잠재적인 직업 기회에 대한 경쟁력을 제공합니다.
반대로, 시골 생활의 지지자들은 시골 환경이 어린이들에게 더 건강하고 안전한 삶을 제공한다고 주장합니다. 오염물질의 부족과 범죄율의 낮음은 어린이들의 신체적 건강과 안전을 즐길 수 있는 조건입니다. 연구에 따르면, 시골 지역은 도시에 비해 미세 먼지 수준이 낮다고 보고하고 있습니다. 또한 시골 지역의 범죄율은 훨씬 낮아, 어린이들에게 더 안전한 환경을 지시하고 있다.
결론적으로, 도시 생활이 교육적이고 사회적 이점을 제공하더라도, 평온한 시골은 건강과 안전을 증진하는 환경을 제공합니다. 따라서, 나는 어린이를 기르기 위해 시골 생활이 더 바람직하다고 믿습니다.
Good expressions:
1. Perennial debate - 끊임없는 논란
2. Expansive school networks - 넓은 학교 네트워크
3. Competitive edge - 경쟁력
4. Physical well-being - 신체적 건강
5. Tranquil countryside - 평온한 시골
There is a perennial debate if children are better off growing up in the bustling environs of a city or the serene locales of the countryside. Both areas offer unique benefits to the upbringing of the young ones, though I tend to lean towards the countryside as a more suitable location for child-rearing.
Supporting urban upbringing, people argue the city presents more opportunities for children. The city offers a plethora of educational and social facilities that enable children to cultivate a well-rounded personality. For instance, cities like Seoul, with their expansive school networks, provide children with a competitive edge for university entrance exams and potential job opportunities.
On the contrary, proponents of countryside living argue the rural environment offers a healthier and safer life for toddlers. The lack of pollutants and low crime rate are conditions that favor physical well-being and security of children. Studies demonstrate that countryside areas report lower levels of fine particulate matter compared to cities. Additionally, the crime rates in rural areas are significantly less, indicating a safer environment for children.
In conclusion, although city living offers educational and social benefits, the tranquil countryside provides an environment that promotes health and safety. Therefore, I believe that countryside living is more preferable for nurturing children.
Word count: 218
Essay translated in Korean:
어린이를 도시의 번잡한 환경에서 키우는 것이 더 좋은지, 시골의 평온한 장소에서 키우는 것이 더 적합한지에 대한 논쟁이 끊이지 않습니다. 두 환경 모두 어린이들의 성장에 독특한 이점을 제공하지만, 저는 어린이를 기르기 위해 시골 환경이 더 적합하다고 생각합니다.
도시에서 어린이를 키우는 것을 지지하는 사람들은 도시가 어린이에게 더 많은 기회를 제공한다고 주장합니다. 도시는 어린이들이 다방면의 인격을 형성할 수 있게 하는 교육 및 사회 시설을 풍부하게 제공합니다. 예를 들어, 서울과 같은 도시는 넓은 학교 네트워크를 통해 어린이들에게 대학 입학 시험 및 잠재적인 직업 기회에 대한 경쟁력을 제공합니다.
반대로, 시골 생활의 지지자들은 시골 환경이 어린이들에게 더 건강하고 안전한 삶을 제공한다고 주장합니다. 오염물질의 부족과 범죄율의 낮음은 어린이들의 신체적 건강과 안전을 즐길 수 있는 조건입니다. 연구에 따르면, 시골 지역은 도시에 비해 미세 먼지 수준이 낮다고 보고하고 있습니다. 또한 시골 지역의 범죄율은 훨씬 낮아, 어린이들에게 더 안전한 환경을 지시하고 있다.
결론적으로, 도시 생활이 교육적이고 사회적 이점을 제공하더라도, 평온한 시골은 건강과 안전을 증진하는 환경을 제공합니다. 따라서, 나는 어린이를 기르기 위해 시골 생활이 더 바람직하다고 믿습니다.
Good expressions:
1. Perennial debate - 끊임없는 논란
2. Expansive school networks - 넓은 학교 네트워크
3. Competitive edge - 경쟁력
4. Physical well-being - 신체적 건강
5. Tranquil countryside - 평온한 시골
제출한 라이팅
It is common believe that growing up children in rural is helpful for adolescentes’s life. However, there is a more persuasive argument that countryside is more suit for raising children. This is because living in rural is more better for children’s health.
On the one hand, people think that living in cities have positives for children since children can get information about their studies such as entrance examination . For example, the highest number of children live in one of cities in Seoul therefore the young can quickly share the information how to study well, which school can give high-quality lectures. Since this advantages, children have advantages about choosing university, and this merits can help children entrance the university or get a job easily.
Nevertheless, countryside have more important factors that are helpful for children’s life. In fact, healthy life is the most essential for the younger. Although living in rural can be difficult to access the information that children make capable, this is safe for children because of low crime and pure nature. For instance, research shows that the percentage of fine dust is far more low in countryside than cities. Furthermore, the proportion of offenses in rural also lower that those of in cities. Therefore parents can grow their children more safely and healthy.
To sum up, while it is apparent that there is opinion that living in cities make more advantages for children’s study and their future life, it is undeniable that rural can give circumstances that make health and safe.
On the one hand, people think that living in cities have positives for children since children can get information about their studies such as entrance examination . For example, the highest number of children live in one of cities in Seoul therefore the young can quickly share the information how to study well, which school can give high-quality lectures. Since this advantages, children have advantages about choosing university, and this merits can help children entrance the university or get a job easily.
Nevertheless, countryside have more important factors that are helpful for children’s life. In fact, healthy life is the most essential for the younger. Although living in rural can be difficult to access the information that children make capable, this is safe for children because of low crime and pure nature. For instance, research shows that the percentage of fine dust is far more low in countryside than cities. Furthermore, the proportion of offenses in rural also lower that those of in cities. Therefore parents can grow their children more safely and healthy.
To sum up, while it is apparent that there is opinion that living in cities make more advantages for children’s study and their future life, it is undeniable that rural can give circumstances that make health and safe.
공유
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