아이엘츠 스피킹
모범답안 5-8월호 출시
获得AI写作矫正 🔥
AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
  • Discussion

Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  • IELTS Writing Model Essay_Scorefactory.pdf

    11.8KB

    Download Now
  • 스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
    Evaluation

    Task Response: 8.0
    The student has effectively addressed the prompt and made their position clear in the introduction and conclusion. They have also provided supporting examples and built a substantial argument on both the positive and negatives regarding online resources and visiting museums.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 7.5
    The information and ideas in the essay are generally well-organized with clear relationships between sentences and paragraphs. However, some points could be developed and linked more effectively to increase coherence.

    Lexical Resource: 8.0
    There is a good range of vocabulary used appropriate to the task and ideas are well expressed. Occasional awkward word choices but it does not impede communication significantly.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7.0
    The essay demonstrates varied grammatical structures and a good command of English, but contains several minor errors and a few awkward or ungrammatical sentences.

    Overall: 7.6
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
    Essay:
    With the vast array of information about culture and history available online, some people argue that the existence of museums and art galleries has become redundant. While I can see this viewpoint holds some validity, I believe that these traditional venues for imparting knowledge on culture and history still have irreplaceable value.

    On one hand, the convenience and accessibility of online resources make it an attractive option for learning about history and culture. Online platforms can be accessed at any time and anywhere, saving individuals' time and money. Furthermore, online resources, like summarizing systems, can assist people in remembering and studying the wealth of information available, making it a practical method for knowledge acquisition.

    On the other hand, the sheer experience of being physically present in a museum or an art gallery is something that no online platform can replicate. Museums and galleries curate unique atmospheres reflecting their exhibits where individuals can witness the art and artifacts firsthand, definitely allowing a deeper level of appreciation and understanding. Additionally, the visual and sensory stimuli provided by direct interactions with these exhibits leave an indelible impression, leading to better retention of knowledge.

    In conclusion, while the accessibility of online resources cannot be denied, museums and art galleries offer an experiential learning that online platforms lack. Thus, I firmly support the notion that these physical venues remain pivotal in our learning and understanding of culture and history.

    Word count: 265

    Essay translated in Korean:

    문화와 역사에 대한 다양한 정보가 온라인에 존재함으로써, 일부 사람들은 박물관과 미술관의 존재가 불필요하게 되었다고 주장합니다. 이러한 관점이 어느 정도 타당성을 가지고 있다는 것은 이해합니다만, 저는 이러한 전통적인 지식 전달 장소들이 여전히 대체 불가능한 가치를 지니고 있다고 믿습니다.

    한편으로는, 온라인 자료의 편리성과 접근성이 역사와 문화를 배우는 데 있어 매력적인 선택지로 만듭니다. 온라인 플랫폼은 언제든 어디서든 접근이 가능하여 사람들의 시간과 돈을 절약합니다. 또한, 요약 시스템과 같은 온라인 자원은 사람들이 제공되는 정보량을 기억하고 공부하는 데 도움을 줄 수 있습니다, 이런 이유로 지식을 취득하는 효과적인 방법입니다.

    다른 한편으로는, 박물관이나 미술관에 실제로 찾아가는 경험은 어떤 온라인 플랫폼에서나 구현할 수 없는 것입니다. 박물관과 갤러리는 그들의 전시품을 반영하는 독특한 분위기를 연출하며, 개인들이 예술과 유물을 직접 관찰할 수 있게 합니다. 또한, 이러한 전시품들과의 직접적인 상호작용이 제공하는 시각적이고 감각적인 자극들은 지우기 어려운 인상을 남겨, 지식의 더 나은 기억을 보장합니다.

    결론적으로, 온라인 자원의 접근성은 부정할 수 없지만, 박물관과 미술관은 온라인 플랫폼이 부족한 체험적 학습을 제공합니다. 따라서, 이러한 물리적 장소들이 우리의 문화와 역사에 대한 배우고 이해하는 과정에서 여전히 결정적인 역할을 하는 것을 확실히 주장합니다.

    Good expressions:
    1. vast array of information - 다양한 정보
    2. irreplaceable value - 대체 불가능한 가치
    3. unique atmospheres - 독특한 분위기
    4. deeper level of appreciation and understanding - 더 깊은 이해와 감사
    5. sensory stimuli - 감각적인 자극
    6. indelible impression - 지울 수 없는 인상
    7. experiential learning - 체험적 학습
    8. pivotal in our learning - 우리의 학습에 있어 중추적인 역할을 하는
    제출한 라이팅
    People argue that since individuals can find information about culture and history online, museums and art galleries are unnecessary. This view should be considered from both perspectives, but my opinion leans toward disagreements outweigh agreements.

    On the one hand, utilizing online platforms, individuals can save both time and money. When people would like to visit museums and art galleries, they must invest time and money. Thus, if they intend to acquire knowledge of cultural and history, using online resources is more convenient. For example, when people use online resources for study history, they can do anytime they want. Additionally, people cannot remember everything they see, but online courses often have summarizing system, making it easier for individuals to remember and study on their own. Thus, studying culture and history through online system is reasonable.

    On the other hand, the impact of site cannot be ignored. Although technology already advanced considerably, there are significant differences between using the internet and experiencing in person. Individuals cannot experience the atmosphere a site by online. Museums and galleries typically create a mood suitable to their themes, allowing individuals to focus more on artworks and exhibits than on online pictures. Moreover, genuine pictures and online pictures also differ significantly. When people view exhibits in person, they tend to remember more than viewing pictures online. Thus, experiencing exhibits in person offers more benefits than viewing them online.

    In conclusion, although individuals can acquire various information through online, but I believe that sites provide meaningful experiences such as the atmosphere and scenery. Therefore, museums and art galleries are the most useful places to learn about culture and history.

    공유

    facebooktwitterpinterestbandkakao story
    퍼머링크
    30분 체험수업을 받아보세요!
    등록 부담은 제로
    没有权限 登录
    번역

    举报

    "님의 댓글"

    이 댓글을 신고 하시겠습니까?

    删除

    "님의 댓글"

    将把此评论.. 确定要删除吗?

    返回列表 😎