AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Discussion
Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6.5
The essay does a decent job of addressing the question, providing valid reasons to both agree and disagree with the statement. The introduction sets the context well, followed by main body paragraphs, with each presenting a separate argument for and against the topic. However, though the opinion leans towards disagreement, it needs to be more substantiated.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The information is logically organized and cohesive, with each paragraph addressing unique ideas. The use of appropriate linking words ("On the one hand", "on the other hand", "In conclusion") ensures smooth transitions between the ideas. The arguments could be more succinct and to the point, some sentences seem to be overstretched.
Lexical Resource: 6
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary but at times, the words used are inappropriate. There is a clear attempt to use complex vocabulary, however, it's unsuccessful at times which impacts overall understanding ("site impacts", "the site’s atmosphere").
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
There is a mixture of both simple and complex sentences, showing a good range of grammar. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors (e.g. "utilizing online", "watching in person") and awkward phrases, which indicate that the student could improve their command of the English language.
Overall: 6.5
Though the essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the subject and structure, errors in grammar and usage of vocabulary let it down. To improve, the student needs to focus on their grammar and vocabulary usage, and ensure all arguments are fully expanded and supported by strong examples.
Task Response: 6.5
The essay does a decent job of addressing the question, providing valid reasons to both agree and disagree with the statement. The introduction sets the context well, followed by main body paragraphs, with each presenting a separate argument for and against the topic. However, though the opinion leans towards disagreement, it needs to be more substantiated.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The information is logically organized and cohesive, with each paragraph addressing unique ideas. The use of appropriate linking words ("On the one hand", "on the other hand", "In conclusion") ensures smooth transitions between the ideas. The arguments could be more succinct and to the point, some sentences seem to be overstretched.
Lexical Resource: 6
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary but at times, the words used are inappropriate. There is a clear attempt to use complex vocabulary, however, it's unsuccessful at times which impacts overall understanding ("site impacts", "the site’s atmosphere").
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
There is a mixture of both simple and complex sentences, showing a good range of grammar. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors (e.g. "utilizing online", "watching in person") and awkward phrases, which indicate that the student could improve their command of the English language.
Overall: 6.5
Though the essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the subject and structure, errors in grammar and usage of vocabulary let it down. To improve, the student needs to focus on their grammar and vocabulary usage, and ensure all arguments are fully expanded and supported by strong examples.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Essay:
The proliferation of information about culture and history on the Internet has sparked a debate on whether traditional museums and art galleries have become obsolete. While there are merits to the online route, I vehemently disagree with the notion of complete replacement through virtual platforms.
The online method of acquiring knowledge has its undeniable advantages. People from any part of the world can access significant historical and cultural information, thus overcoming time and geographical barriers. The digital platform also has the benefit of a content compilation mechanism, which enables individuals to effectively digest and grasp the key points. However, this approach may deprive individuals of authenticity and dissipate the original feel that museums and art galleries impart.
Contrarily, the importance of experiencing culture and history in person, as provided by museums and art galleries, cannot be undermined. The ambience of these venues is curated to resonate with the themes of exhibitions, which fosters an environment of intense focus and absorption, often resulting in better memory retention. Real-time viewing, through its intricate details, elicits emotions that digital images may not. It is this sensorial experience that serves as the pillar of traditional learning outlets.
In conclusion, the advent of online resources has undeniably diversified the discovery of cultural and historical knowledge. However, the profound experiences imparted by museums and galleries align them as invaluable centers of learning, which, in my opinion, can never be entirely replaced by digital alternatives.
Word Count: 253
Essay translated in Korean:
인터넷에서 문화 및 역사 정보의 확산으로 전통적인 박물관과 미술관이 쓸모 없어졌는지에 대해 논란이 생겼습니다. 온라인 경로에 장점이 있지만, 가상 플랫폼을 통한 완전한 대체에 대해서는 강력하게 반대하고 있습니다.
지식을 획득하는 온라인 방법은 부인할 수 없는 이점들이 있습니다. 세계 어느 곳에서나 사람들이 중요한 역사적 및 문화적 정보에 접근할 수 있어, 시간적, 지리적 장벽을 극복하게 합니다. 디지털 플랫폼은 콘텐츠 컴파일 매커니즘의 이점도 있어 개인이 중요한 포인트를 효과적으로 이해하고 소화할 수 있습니다. 그러나 이 접근법은 개인이 박물관과 미술관에서 제공하는 진정성을 잃게 하고 원래의 느낌을 희석시킬 수 있습니다.
반대로, 박물관과 미술관이 제공하는 현장에서의 문화와 역사 경험의 중요성은 의심의 여지가 없습니다. 이러한 장소의 분위기는 전시회의 주제와 맞게 조성되어 있어, 강렬한 집중력과 모두가 자주 이어서 더 나은 기억 증강을 촉진하는 환경을 제공합니다. 실시간 시청은 세세한 디테일을 통해, 이러한 감정을 불러 일으키며 디지털 이미지가 가질 수 없습니다. 이런 실감나는 경험은 전통 학습 공간의 기둥이 됩니다.
결론적으로, 온라인 리소스의 출현은 역사와 문화 지식의 발견을 부정할 수 없이 다양화시켰습니다. 그러나, 박물관과 갤러리가 제공하는 깊은 경험은 그들을 배울 수 있는 중요한 센터로 배치하며, 제 생각으로는 디지털 대안으로 완전히 대체될 수는 없습니다.
Good expressions:
1. "any part of the world can access" - 세계 어느 곳에서나 접근할 수 있다.
2. "overcoming time and geographical barriers" - 시간적, 지리적 장벽을 극복하다.
3. "curated to resonate with the themes" - 주제와 울릴 수 있도록 고안되었다.
4. "environment of intense focus and absorption" - 강렬한 집중력과 흡수력의 환경.
5. "pillar of traditional learning outlets" - 전통적인 학습 출구의 기둥.
The proliferation of information about culture and history on the Internet has sparked a debate on whether traditional museums and art galleries have become obsolete. While there are merits to the online route, I vehemently disagree with the notion of complete replacement through virtual platforms.
The online method of acquiring knowledge has its undeniable advantages. People from any part of the world can access significant historical and cultural information, thus overcoming time and geographical barriers. The digital platform also has the benefit of a content compilation mechanism, which enables individuals to effectively digest and grasp the key points. However, this approach may deprive individuals of authenticity and dissipate the original feel that museums and art galleries impart.
Contrarily, the importance of experiencing culture and history in person, as provided by museums and art galleries, cannot be undermined. The ambience of these venues is curated to resonate with the themes of exhibitions, which fosters an environment of intense focus and absorption, often resulting in better memory retention. Real-time viewing, through its intricate details, elicits emotions that digital images may not. It is this sensorial experience that serves as the pillar of traditional learning outlets.
In conclusion, the advent of online resources has undeniably diversified the discovery of cultural and historical knowledge. However, the profound experiences imparted by museums and galleries align them as invaluable centers of learning, which, in my opinion, can never be entirely replaced by digital alternatives.
Word Count: 253
Essay translated in Korean:
인터넷에서 문화 및 역사 정보의 확산으로 전통적인 박물관과 미술관이 쓸모 없어졌는지에 대해 논란이 생겼습니다. 온라인 경로에 장점이 있지만, 가상 플랫폼을 통한 완전한 대체에 대해서는 강력하게 반대하고 있습니다.
지식을 획득하는 온라인 방법은 부인할 수 없는 이점들이 있습니다. 세계 어느 곳에서나 사람들이 중요한 역사적 및 문화적 정보에 접근할 수 있어, 시간적, 지리적 장벽을 극복하게 합니다. 디지털 플랫폼은 콘텐츠 컴파일 매커니즘의 이점도 있어 개인이 중요한 포인트를 효과적으로 이해하고 소화할 수 있습니다. 그러나 이 접근법은 개인이 박물관과 미술관에서 제공하는 진정성을 잃게 하고 원래의 느낌을 희석시킬 수 있습니다.
반대로, 박물관과 미술관이 제공하는 현장에서의 문화와 역사 경험의 중요성은 의심의 여지가 없습니다. 이러한 장소의 분위기는 전시회의 주제와 맞게 조성되어 있어, 강렬한 집중력과 모두가 자주 이어서 더 나은 기억 증강을 촉진하는 환경을 제공합니다. 실시간 시청은 세세한 디테일을 통해, 이러한 감정을 불러 일으키며 디지털 이미지가 가질 수 없습니다. 이런 실감나는 경험은 전통 학습 공간의 기둥이 됩니다.
결론적으로, 온라인 리소스의 출현은 역사와 문화 지식의 발견을 부정할 수 없이 다양화시켰습니다. 그러나, 박물관과 갤러리가 제공하는 깊은 경험은 그들을 배울 수 있는 중요한 센터로 배치하며, 제 생각으로는 디지털 대안으로 완전히 대체될 수는 없습니다.
Good expressions:
1. "any part of the world can access" - 세계 어느 곳에서나 접근할 수 있다.
2. "overcoming time and geographical barriers" - 시간적, 지리적 장벽을 극복하다.
3. "curated to resonate with the themes" - 주제와 울릴 수 있도록 고안되었다.
4. "environment of intense focus and absorption" - 강렬한 집중력과 흡수력의 환경.
5. "pillar of traditional learning outlets" - 전통적인 학습 출구의 기둥.
제출한 라이팅
People argue that since individuals can find out information of culture and history in online, museums and art galleries are unnecessary. This view should be given both agreements and disagreements, but my opinion leans toward disagreements outweigh agreements.
On the one hand, utilizing online, individuals can save their amount of time and money. When people would like to visit museums and art galleries, they should spend time and money. Thus, if they have intention of acquiring knowledge of cultural and history, using online is more trustworthy. For example, when people use online for study history, they can do anytime when they want. Additionally, people cannot remember all they watch, but online course has summarizing system, individuals can remember it easily and study on their own. Thus, studying culture and history by online system is reasonable.
On the other hand, it cannot be ignored of the site impacts. Although technology already developed numerously, there are big differences between using the internet and watching in person. individuals cannot experience of the site’s atmosphere by online. Since museums and galleries usually create the mood that suitable to their themes, individuals can concentrate on artworks and exhibits than pictures in online. Moreover, real pictures and the internet pictures also have massive differences. When people watched reality, they can remember more than pictures on display. Thus, watching exhibits in person has more benefits than online.
In conclusion, although individuals can acquire various information through online, but I believe that sites give meaningful information such as experience and scenery at the times. Therefore, museums and art galleries are the most useful places to learn knowledge about culture and history.
On the one hand, utilizing online, individuals can save their amount of time and money. When people would like to visit museums and art galleries, they should spend time and money. Thus, if they have intention of acquiring knowledge of cultural and history, using online is more trustworthy. For example, when people use online for study history, they can do anytime when they want. Additionally, people cannot remember all they watch, but online course has summarizing system, individuals can remember it easily and study on their own. Thus, studying culture and history by online system is reasonable.
On the other hand, it cannot be ignored of the site impacts. Although technology already developed numerously, there are big differences between using the internet and watching in person. individuals cannot experience of the site’s atmosphere by online. Since museums and galleries usually create the mood that suitable to their themes, individuals can concentrate on artworks and exhibits than pictures in online. Moreover, real pictures and the internet pictures also have massive differences. When people watched reality, they can remember more than pictures on display. Thus, watching exhibits in person has more benefits than online.
In conclusion, although individuals can acquire various information through online, but I believe that sites give meaningful information such as experience and scenery at the times. Therefore, museums and art galleries are the most useful places to learn knowledge about culture and history.
공유
返回列表 😎
