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  • Opinion

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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    Evaluation

    Task Response: 6
    The student addresses the question and presents a clear argument, but some points could be further elaborated for clarity. The main thesis could be stated more clearly for better task response.

    Coherence & Cohesion: 7
    The essay is well organized with clear transition phrases beginning many of the sentences which guide the reader through the essay, which show good coherence and cohesion. However, some sentences seem disjointed and do not immediately connect to the preceding or following content.

    Lexical Resource: 7
    The writer uses a diverse range of vocabulary and phrases to communicate their ideas which enhances the complexity of the argument. However, some word combinations appear awkward or overly complex, which can distract from the message.

    Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
    While the writer uses a wide range of grammatical structures and tenses, there are noticeable errors, such as subject-verb agreement, incorrect use of prepositions and congruence issues.

    Overall: 6.5
    The student show a solid understanding of the requirements for an IELTS task 2 writing response. However, there are areas of improvement, particularly in crafting more precise and cohesive sentences, and ensuring grammatical accuracy.
    스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
    Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
    Essay:
    It is often argued that the government has the obligation to fund universities in order to make higher education free for everyone. While this view may not be universally accepted, I believe that having equal educational opportunities is crucial for every student's life in university.

    Opponents of this idea often argue that channeling substantial financial resources towards universities could undermine other crucial sectors. Part of this belief stems from the fact that university education, unlike elementary, middle and high school, entails specialized study based on individual interest. Furthermore, some argue that society nowadays places more value in valuable work experience over extensive knowledge. As an example, in Korea, vocational high schools focusing on rapidly advancing industries are gaining popularity.

    However, it is important to note that the opportunity for advanced study must be courtesy of student's choice and not thwarted by financial limitations. The goals of every young person are distinct and diverse, and financially disadvantaged students should not be forced to abandon their dreams. Therefore, I believe that the government has the responsibility to support those who wish to proceed with higher education but are hindered by economic struggles.

    In conclusion, while there may be some contention regarding the necessity of university education and its sponsorship, we must not underestimate its importance. Ensuring no young individual is held back by financial limitations when planning their future is something we must strive for.

    Word count: 263 words

    Essay translated in Korean:

    종종 정부가 대학을 자금을 지원하여 고등 교육을 모두에게 무료로 만드는 책임이 있다는 주장이 있습니다. 이런 견해가 모두에게 받아들여지진 않겠지만, 모든 학생이 대학에서 교육을 평등하게 받을 수 있어야 한다고 믿습니다.

    이 아이디어를 반대하는 사람들은 종종 대학을 중요한 재정 자원을 파급시키면 기타 중요한 부문이 손해 봄을 주장합니다. 이런 믿음의 일부는 대학 교육이 죄, 중, 고등학교와 달리 개인의 관심에 따른 전문 연구를 의미하기 때문입니다. 또한, 요즘 사회에서는 광대한 학문 보다는 유용한 작업 경험에 더 가치를 둔다고 주장합니다. 예를 들어, 한국에서는 급속하게 진보하는 산업에 초점을 맞춘 직업 고등학교가 인기를 얻고 있습니다.

    그러나, 고등 교육 기회는 학생의 선택에 따라야 하며, 재정적 제약으로 방해 받지 않아야 한다는 점이 중요함을 인정해야 합니다. 모든 젊은 사람들의 목표는 독특하고 다양해야하며, 재정적으로 어려운 학생들은 꿈을 포기하지 않아야 합니다. 따라서 저는 정부가 고등 교육을 원하지만 경제적으로 어려움을 겪는 사람들을 지원하는 책임이 있음을 믿습니다.

    결론적으로, 대학 교육의 필수성과 후원에 대해 몇 가지 논쟁이 있을 수 있지만, 그 중요성을 저평가해서는 안됩니다. 미래를 계획할 때 재정적 한제로 젊은 사람을 방해 받지 않게 하는 것이 우리가 지향해야 할 목표입니다.

    Good expressions:
    1. It is often argued that - 종종 ~라는 주장이 있다
    2. places more value in - ~에 더 가치를 둔다
    3. undermined other crucial sectors - 다른 중요한 부문을 약화시킨다
    4. courtesy of student's choice - 학생의 선택에서 비롯된 것
    5. Financially disadvantaged students - 재정적으로 불리한 학생들
    6. contention regarding the necessity - 필요성에 대한 논란
    7. held back by financial limitations - 재정적 한계로 인해 제한 받다.
    제출한 라이팅
    It is often advocated that the government has the responsibility for supporting universities financially with opinions its validity. While many oppose this perspective, I am inclined to belief that it is essential for every student to have equal opportunities to enjoy their school life in universities. This essay will explore compelling arguments and suggest relevant examples to support my opinion.
    It is convincing that placing financial burden on the government can be rather negative for more imperative spheres to some degree primarily because learning in universities is kind of different academic experience from studying in elementary, middle, and high schools, requiring specialization in certain areas according to individual preferences. Additionally, supporters of this argument often believe that the community where we live and work has been transformed into the society requiring not wealth of deep knowledge but valuable working experience related to industry. For instance, in Korea, training high schools focused on rapidly developing industries has been popularized to students who have keen interests in starting work earlier than other teenagers.
    Although it may be logical to argue that the educational significance of university hasn’t widespread impact on young individual’s future compared to before, it is essential to acknowledge that the choice of continuous learning should be depended on desire of students, ensuring equal circumstance where none of them forgive their dreams. This is due to the fact that the goal of every young person must be varied. Moreover, it is worth noting that the government has the duty to take care of those who hesitate to decide to study further in higher institutions due to economy difficulties. Therefore, it is reasonable to assert that the government has to contribute to providing brighter future for next generations with a diverse range of educational options.
    In conclusion, there is disagreement concerning whether universities are a part of essential education system. This implies that this topic of debate requires comprehensive deliberation while talking into account additional facets outlined above. Nevertheless, it is pivotal that the importance of university education should not be overlooked. It is highly recommended that the confirmation of direction next ages step towards should not be deterred by any other constrains, especially the money.

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