아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
Some people believe that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state. Do you agree or disagree with the above notion?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 8
The student has fully addressed all parts of the task. They have presented, extended and supported their ideas well by providing examples specific to their argument. They have shown a good understanding of the rubric and have given a clear answer in their conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is logically organized using a clear progression. Each paragraph develops a separate point, and linking words are used effectively, making the essay easy to follow. However, some points could be better connected for a more fluid argument.
Lexical Resource: 8
The student demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary. They have used less common vocabulary accurately and appropriately, but some word choices could have been more precise.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7.5
There is a mix of simple and complex structures, and conjunctions are used effectively to link ideas. Some errors are present but they do not impede understanding.
Overall: 7.6
Task Response: 8
The student has fully addressed all parts of the task. They have presented, extended and supported their ideas well by providing examples specific to their argument. They have shown a good understanding of the rubric and have given a clear answer in their conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is logically organized using a clear progression. Each paragraph develops a separate point, and linking words are used effectively, making the essay easy to follow. However, some points could be better connected for a more fluid argument.
Lexical Resource: 8
The student demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary. They have used less common vocabulary accurately and appropriately, but some word choices could have been more precise.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7.5
There is a mix of simple and complex structures, and conjunctions are used effectively to link ideas. Some errors are present but they do not impede understanding.
Overall: 7.6
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people believe that they should keep all the money they have earned and should not pay tax to the state.
Do you agree or disagree with the above notion?
Essay:
In this fast-paced world, there is an ongoing debate that individuals should retain all their earned income, thus exempting them from paying state taxes. I strongly disagree with this notion and will elaborate my views below.
The primary motive of levying taxes on income is to enable the government to improve the quality of its citizens’ lives through the allocation of tax gathered budgets. For instance, with these taxes, a country can upgrade outdated infrastructure such as hospitals and schools, directly impacting the quality of public welfare. A new hospital funded by taxes can offer cutting-edge healthcare facilities to the common man, resulting in better overall societal health. Additionally, tax-funded budgets are also in place to assure national security. An example would be South Korea, known for allocating substantial tax funds to national defense, including soldier training and weaponry.
However, some individuals argue they should retain all their income, claiming the high tax imposition is a significant burden. While this may be true to some extent, the value provided by the tax-funded services outweighs the burden.
In conclusion, while some may argue against paying taxes, believing their earnings are direct results of personal efforts, it is clear that the communal benefits and security provided through tax-funded budgets serve as an essential duty, making tax payment a necessary function of every citizen.
Word count: 234
Essay translated in Korean:
이 신속하게 변화하는 세상에서, 개인이 그들이 벌어들인 모든 소득을 보유해야하며, 따라서 국가 세금을 납부하는 것에서 면제되어야 한다는 논쟁이 계속되고 있다. 이 개념에 대해 나는 강하게 반대하며, 아래에서 나의 견해를 설명하겠다.
소득에 대한 세금을 부과하는 주요 동기는 정부가 세금으로 모은 예산을 배분함으로써 시민들의 생활 질을 개선하게 함이다. 예를 들어, 이런 세금으로 한 국가는 병원과 학교와 같은 낡은 인프라를 업그레이드 할 수 있으며, 이는 공공 복지의 질에 직접적인 영향을 미친다. 세금으로 지원된 새 병원은 일반인에게 최첨단 의료 시설을 제공할 수 있으며, 이로 인해 사회의 전반적인 건강이 개선된다. 또한, 세금으로 지원된 예산은 국가안보를 보장하기 위해 준비된다. 예를 들면, 국방에 대한 세금 기금을 상당히 많이 배정하는 대한민국이 있다.
그러나 일부 개인들은 그들이 모든 소득을 유지해야 한다고 주장하며, 높은 세금 부담이 큰 부담이라고 주장한다. 이것이 어느 정도까지는 사실일 수도 있지만, 세금 지원 서비스가 제공하는 가치는 부담을 상회한다.
결론적으로, 일부 사람들은 세금을 납부하는 것에 반대할 수 있지만, 그들의 수입이 개인적 노력의 직접적인 결과라고 믿을 수도 있지만, 세금 지원 예산을 통해 제공되는 공동의 편익과 보안이 필수적인 의무임이 분명하다. 따라서 모든 시민의 세금 납부는 필수적인 기능이다.
Good expressions:
1. ongoing debate : 계속되는 논쟁
2. elaborate my views : 나의 견해를 설명하다
3. direct results of personal efforts : 개인적 노력의 직접적인 결과
4. communal benefits and security : 공동의 편익과 보안
5. tax-funded budgets serve as an essential duty : 세금 지원 예산이 필수적인 의무를 수행하다
6. necessary function of every citizen : 모든 시민의 필수적인 기능
In this fast-paced world, there is an ongoing debate that individuals should retain all their earned income, thus exempting them from paying state taxes. I strongly disagree with this notion and will elaborate my views below.
The primary motive of levying taxes on income is to enable the government to improve the quality of its citizens’ lives through the allocation of tax gathered budgets. For instance, with these taxes, a country can upgrade outdated infrastructure such as hospitals and schools, directly impacting the quality of public welfare. A new hospital funded by taxes can offer cutting-edge healthcare facilities to the common man, resulting in better overall societal health. Additionally, tax-funded budgets are also in place to assure national security. An example would be South Korea, known for allocating substantial tax funds to national defense, including soldier training and weaponry.
However, some individuals argue they should retain all their income, claiming the high tax imposition is a significant burden. While this may be true to some extent, the value provided by the tax-funded services outweighs the burden.
In conclusion, while some may argue against paying taxes, believing their earnings are direct results of personal efforts, it is clear that the communal benefits and security provided through tax-funded budgets serve as an essential duty, making tax payment a necessary function of every citizen.
Word count: 234
Essay translated in Korean:
이 신속하게 변화하는 세상에서, 개인이 그들이 벌어들인 모든 소득을 보유해야하며, 따라서 국가 세금을 납부하는 것에서 면제되어야 한다는 논쟁이 계속되고 있다. 이 개념에 대해 나는 강하게 반대하며, 아래에서 나의 견해를 설명하겠다.
소득에 대한 세금을 부과하는 주요 동기는 정부가 세금으로 모은 예산을 배분함으로써 시민들의 생활 질을 개선하게 함이다. 예를 들어, 이런 세금으로 한 국가는 병원과 학교와 같은 낡은 인프라를 업그레이드 할 수 있으며, 이는 공공 복지의 질에 직접적인 영향을 미친다. 세금으로 지원된 새 병원은 일반인에게 최첨단 의료 시설을 제공할 수 있으며, 이로 인해 사회의 전반적인 건강이 개선된다. 또한, 세금으로 지원된 예산은 국가안보를 보장하기 위해 준비된다. 예를 들면, 국방에 대한 세금 기금을 상당히 많이 배정하는 대한민국이 있다.
그러나 일부 개인들은 그들이 모든 소득을 유지해야 한다고 주장하며, 높은 세금 부담이 큰 부담이라고 주장한다. 이것이 어느 정도까지는 사실일 수도 있지만, 세금 지원 서비스가 제공하는 가치는 부담을 상회한다.
결론적으로, 일부 사람들은 세금을 납부하는 것에 반대할 수 있지만, 그들의 수입이 개인적 노력의 직접적인 결과라고 믿을 수도 있지만, 세금 지원 예산을 통해 제공되는 공동의 편익과 보안이 필수적인 의무임이 분명하다. 따라서 모든 시민의 세금 납부는 필수적인 기능이다.
Good expressions:
1. ongoing debate : 계속되는 논쟁
2. elaborate my views : 나의 견해를 설명하다
3. direct results of personal efforts : 개인적 노력의 직접적인 결과
4. communal benefits and security : 공동의 편익과 보안
5. tax-funded budgets serve as an essential duty : 세금 지원 예산이 필수적인 의무를 수행하다
6. necessary function of every citizen : 모든 시민의 필수적인 기능
제출한 라이팅
Nowadays, some citizens complain that it is desirable for them not to pay taxes so as to save all their incomes. I strongly disagree with this point of view and then elucidate my opinion with examples.
I believe that the main reason for paying taxes is that government can lead enhancement of citizens’ life by making use of budgetary allocation from taxes. What I mean by this is that the society can refurbish outdated infrastructures such as hospitals or schools which can contribute to high quality of people’s lives. New hospitals, for instance, can provide up-to-date person centred healthcare to patients. Furthermore, the society can protect public from other countries’ invasion. Take Korea for example. The government allocate annual budgets to national defense expenditure like purchasing weapons or training soldiers. All of this are based on individuals’ tax duties.
Despite these arguments, some assert that they are eager to own all of their incomes. This is because the amount of taxes they pay is excessively burden to the public. Some nations force them to pay almost 50% of their salaries according to people’s financial status. Even though they earn a huge amount of money, such amount of tax can oppress the public.
All things considered, although some citizens believe that they should not pay taxes owing to their thoughts that incomes are earned by themselves without any governmental support, I strongly argue that it is a fundamental duty for the public to pay taxes, in terms of leading development of society and providing a sense of security from other countries.
I believe that the main reason for paying taxes is that government can lead enhancement of citizens’ life by making use of budgetary allocation from taxes. What I mean by this is that the society can refurbish outdated infrastructures such as hospitals or schools which can contribute to high quality of people’s lives. New hospitals, for instance, can provide up-to-date person centred healthcare to patients. Furthermore, the society can protect public from other countries’ invasion. Take Korea for example. The government allocate annual budgets to national defense expenditure like purchasing weapons or training soldiers. All of this are based on individuals’ tax duties.
Despite these arguments, some assert that they are eager to own all of their incomes. This is because the amount of taxes they pay is excessively burden to the public. Some nations force them to pay almost 50% of their salaries according to people’s financial status. Even though they earn a huge amount of money, such amount of tax can oppress the public.
All things considered, although some citizens believe that they should not pay taxes owing to their thoughts that incomes are earned by themselves without any governmental support, I strongly argue that it is a fundamental duty for the public to pay taxes, in terms of leading development of society and providing a sense of security from other countries.
공유
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