AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Problem and Solution
Drug abuse is an increasing problem in modern times. Discuss some reasons behind this and suggest ways it can be hindered.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6
The essay addresses the task by presenting some reasons behind the drug abuse issue and possible solutions. Further development of main ideas and arguments could be improved.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is generally well-organised and there is a clear progression of ideas, even though some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and links between ideas are sometimes missing.
Lexical Resource: 7
Good range of vocabulary is used with some collocation errors (e.g. "got to use" instead of "began to use", "spoilt his movie career perfectly" instead of "destroyed his movie career completely").
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors, misplaced modifiers and incorrect use of articles.
Overall: 6.25
The writer has shown good skills overall, although there are some noticeable errors. With proper correction of grammatical mistakes and enhancement of cohesion within the text, the essay could achieve a higher score.
Task Response: 6
The essay addresses the task by presenting some reasons behind the drug abuse issue and possible solutions. Further development of main ideas and arguments could be improved.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay is generally well-organised and there is a clear progression of ideas, even though some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and links between ideas are sometimes missing.
Lexical Resource: 7
Good range of vocabulary is used with some collocation errors (e.g. "got to use" instead of "began to use", "spoilt his movie career perfectly" instead of "destroyed his movie career completely").
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors, misplaced modifiers and incorrect use of articles.
Overall: 6.25
The writer has shown good skills overall, although there are some noticeable errors. With proper correction of grammatical mistakes and enhancement of cohesion within the text, the essay could achieve a higher score.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Drug abuse is an increasing problem in modern times.
Discuss some reasons behind this and suggest ways it can be hindered.
Essay:
It is an undeniable fact that the increasing incidence of drug abuse is a troubling trend in today's society. As this problem continues to surge, it becomes imperative to delve into the underlying reasons for this upsurge and reflect on the possible preventative measures that can be instituted.
The allure of experimentation is one prevalent cause for the escalating numbers of drug abusers. It is largely influenced by the conduct of popular celebrities who, unfortunately, fall into the trap of substance misuse. As these figures serve as role models for the public, their behavior inevitably influences societal perceptions and actions. For instance, when a renowned actor was found abusing illicit pills, his actions spawned a wave of imitation, resulting in an ephemeral spike in drug usage amongst his followers.
To stifle this issue, increasing the regulatory control over harmful substances should be an immediate course of action, complemented by intensified public awareness campaigns. Authorities must take stringent steps to limit the spread of such drugs and crack down on any instances of smuggling. For instance, in recent years, US officials have amped up their war against this silent epidemic, using documentaries and campaigns to foster knowledge about the inherent risks associated with drug abuse. It is expected that such measures will fruitfully lead to a decline in drug use over time.
In conclusion, while factors such as celebrity influence could contribute to the increase in drug abuse, we can combat this issue by enforcing stricter regulatory control and widespread education on this menace to society.
Word count: 269
Essay translated in Korean:
오늘날 사회에서 약물 남용의 증가 현상은 부인할 수 없는 사실이며, 이 문제가 계속해서 확산되면서 이러한 증가의 근본 원인을 파악하고 가능한 예방 방안을 모색하는 것이 절실해진다.
일반 소비자의 약물 남용률이 높아지는 주요 원인 중 하나는 인기 있는 연예인들이 불행히도 약물 남용의 함정에 빠지게 되면서 대중에게 모범을 보여주는 이들의 행동이 사회적 인식과 행동에 불가피하게 영향을 줄 수밖에 없다. 예를 들어, 유명한 배우가 불법 알약을 남용하는 것으로 밝혀졌을 때, 그의 행동은 그의 팬들 사이에서 단기간 약물 사용률의 급증을 초래하였다.
이 문제를 해결하기 위해 해로운 물질에 대한 규제 강화를 즉시 취해야 하며, 공공 의식 확산 캠페인을 강화해야 한다. 당국은 이러한 약물의 확산을 제한하고 밀수 사례를 단속하는 엄격한 조치를 취해야 한다. 예를 들어, 최근 몇 년 동안 미국 공무원들은 다큐멘터리와 캠페인을 통해 약물 남용과 관련된 고유한 위험에 대한 지식을 증진하는 데 힘을 쏟았다. 이러한 조치가 시간이 지남에 따라 약물 사용의 감소를 가져올 것으로 기대된다.
결론적으로, 연예인의 영향력 등의 요인이 약물 남용의 증가에 기여할 수 있지만, 우리는 엄격한 규제 강화와 이 문제에 대한 널리 퍼진 교육을 통해 이 문제를 해결할 수 있다.
Good expressions:
1. undeniably fact - 부인할 수 없는 사실
2. delve into - ~을 탐구하다
3. prevalent cause - 널리 퍼진 원인
4. spawned a wave of imitation - 모방의 물결을 일으키다
5. stifle this issue - 이 문제를 진압하다
6. stringent steps - 엄격한 조치
7. inherent risks - 고유한 위험
8. foster knowledge - 지식을 증진시키다
9. wide-spread education - 널리 퍼진 교육
10. menace to society - 사회에 대한 위협
It is an undeniable fact that the increasing incidence of drug abuse is a troubling trend in today's society. As this problem continues to surge, it becomes imperative to delve into the underlying reasons for this upsurge and reflect on the possible preventative measures that can be instituted.
The allure of experimentation is one prevalent cause for the escalating numbers of drug abusers. It is largely influenced by the conduct of popular celebrities who, unfortunately, fall into the trap of substance misuse. As these figures serve as role models for the public, their behavior inevitably influences societal perceptions and actions. For instance, when a renowned actor was found abusing illicit pills, his actions spawned a wave of imitation, resulting in an ephemeral spike in drug usage amongst his followers.
To stifle this issue, increasing the regulatory control over harmful substances should be an immediate course of action, complemented by intensified public awareness campaigns. Authorities must take stringent steps to limit the spread of such drugs and crack down on any instances of smuggling. For instance, in recent years, US officials have amped up their war against this silent epidemic, using documentaries and campaigns to foster knowledge about the inherent risks associated with drug abuse. It is expected that such measures will fruitfully lead to a decline in drug use over time.
In conclusion, while factors such as celebrity influence could contribute to the increase in drug abuse, we can combat this issue by enforcing stricter regulatory control and widespread education on this menace to society.
Word count: 269
Essay translated in Korean:
오늘날 사회에서 약물 남용의 증가 현상은 부인할 수 없는 사실이며, 이 문제가 계속해서 확산되면서 이러한 증가의 근본 원인을 파악하고 가능한 예방 방안을 모색하는 것이 절실해진다.
일반 소비자의 약물 남용률이 높아지는 주요 원인 중 하나는 인기 있는 연예인들이 불행히도 약물 남용의 함정에 빠지게 되면서 대중에게 모범을 보여주는 이들의 행동이 사회적 인식과 행동에 불가피하게 영향을 줄 수밖에 없다. 예를 들어, 유명한 배우가 불법 알약을 남용하는 것으로 밝혀졌을 때, 그의 행동은 그의 팬들 사이에서 단기간 약물 사용률의 급증을 초래하였다.
이 문제를 해결하기 위해 해로운 물질에 대한 규제 강화를 즉시 취해야 하며, 공공 의식 확산 캠페인을 강화해야 한다. 당국은 이러한 약물의 확산을 제한하고 밀수 사례를 단속하는 엄격한 조치를 취해야 한다. 예를 들어, 최근 몇 년 동안 미국 공무원들은 다큐멘터리와 캠페인을 통해 약물 남용과 관련된 고유한 위험에 대한 지식을 증진하는 데 힘을 쏟았다. 이러한 조치가 시간이 지남에 따라 약물 사용의 감소를 가져올 것으로 기대된다.
결론적으로, 연예인의 영향력 등의 요인이 약물 남용의 증가에 기여할 수 있지만, 우리는 엄격한 규제 강화와 이 문제에 대한 널리 퍼진 교육을 통해 이 문제를 해결할 수 있다.
Good expressions:
1. undeniably fact - 부인할 수 없는 사실
2. delve into - ~을 탐구하다
3. prevalent cause - 널리 퍼진 원인
4. spawned a wave of imitation - 모방의 물결을 일으키다
5. stifle this issue - 이 문제를 진압하다
6. stringent steps - 엄격한 조치
7. inherent risks - 고유한 위험
8. foster knowledge - 지식을 증진시키다
9. wide-spread education - 널리 퍼진 교육
10. menace to society - 사회에 대한 위협
제출한 라이팅
it is true that the number of contemporary people using illegal drugs are increasing recently, and a growing number of people are realizing the risks of drug abuse.
While this is a serious problem to society of the world, it can solved with governments strengthening the regulations on the illegal drugs and making more campaigns to raise the awareness of the serverity of taking restricted drugs without prescription.
The main reason of the rising usage of illegal drugs is a kind of curiosity about the addictive drugs, which results from celebrities addicted to illegal drugs.
The public tend to emulate famous singers and movie stars who are well known for their songs and films, which leads to ordinary people indulging in the addicted drugs which celebrities used.
Let's take an example of a famous American movie star who once had taken illegal pills with adverse effects.
He had taken a kind of illegal drug and he spoilt his movie career perfectly.
Not only that, many people got to use the same as the majority of Americans learned about it.
Nevertheless, i strongly support that the problem can be resolved by governments making policies on the illegal drugs and informing the public about the threat of the drug addiction through public campaigns.
Authorities which regulate and oversee the distributed drugs should limit the drug use more thoroughly and tkae stricter action for the smuggled medicines.
In the US, municipal officals have tried hard to combat the drug addiction for recent years.
They produced more documentaries and campaigns about the illegal drugs, which allowed many citizens to know how risky the drugs really are.
Furthermore, experts in the dristribution of drugs stated it makes the drug abuse gradually reduced, and the usage of the addictive drugs will be going down in the future.
While this is a serious problem to society of the world, it can solved with governments strengthening the regulations on the illegal drugs and making more campaigns to raise the awareness of the serverity of taking restricted drugs without prescription.
The main reason of the rising usage of illegal drugs is a kind of curiosity about the addictive drugs, which results from celebrities addicted to illegal drugs.
The public tend to emulate famous singers and movie stars who are well known for their songs and films, which leads to ordinary people indulging in the addicted drugs which celebrities used.
Let's take an example of a famous American movie star who once had taken illegal pills with adverse effects.
He had taken a kind of illegal drug and he spoilt his movie career perfectly.
Not only that, many people got to use the same as the majority of Americans learned about it.
Nevertheless, i strongly support that the problem can be resolved by governments making policies on the illegal drugs and informing the public about the threat of the drug addiction through public campaigns.
Authorities which regulate and oversee the distributed drugs should limit the drug use more thoroughly and tkae stricter action for the smuggled medicines.
In the US, municipal officals have tried hard to combat the drug addiction for recent years.
They produced more documentaries and campaigns about the illegal drugs, which allowed many citizens to know how risky the drugs really are.
Furthermore, experts in the dristribution of drugs stated it makes the drug abuse gradually reduced, and the usage of the addictive drugs will be going down in the future.
공유
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