AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Discussion
Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the environment, others maintain that the major profit is the development of world business. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7]
The student has clearly presented both sides of the argument, and has given their own opinion. However, the reasoning and support for their opinion could have been expanded.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7.5]
There is cohesion between paragraphs, and each one presents a clear idea relating to the task. The student uses an appropriate range of cohesive devices and punctuation. However, not all sentences make clear points and interrupt the ease of reading.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student shows a good range of vocabulary and demonstrates knowledge of collocations and idiomatic expressions. However, some minor errors have occurred, for example "business massive effects on world business", which have an impact on meaning.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, with varying degrees of complexity. Some errors occur, such as "on aspects of world business" which should have been "on the aspects of world business". The meaning is mostly preserved despite these mistakes.
Overall: [7.12]
The student has done fairly well in presenting a balanced view, but needs to be more attentive to grammar details, and providing more substantial support for their opinion.
Task Response: [7]
The student has clearly presented both sides of the argument, and has given their own opinion. However, the reasoning and support for their opinion could have been expanded.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7.5]
There is cohesion between paragraphs, and each one presents a clear idea relating to the task. The student uses an appropriate range of cohesive devices and punctuation. However, not all sentences make clear points and interrupt the ease of reading.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student shows a good range of vocabulary and demonstrates knowledge of collocations and idiomatic expressions. However, some minor errors have occurred, for example "business massive effects on world business", which have an impact on meaning.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7]
The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, with varying degrees of complexity. Some errors occur, such as "on aspects of world business" which should have been "on the aspects of world business". The meaning is mostly preserved despite these mistakes.
Overall: [7.12]
The student has done fairly well in presenting a balanced view, but needs to be more attentive to grammar details, and providing more substantial support for their opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the environment, others maintain that the major profit is the development of world business. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Essay:
International collaboration is believed by some to yield major advantages for the environment, while others insist that the most significant gain is in the advancement of global commerce. Both viewpoints carry considerable weight, but in my perspective, the economic benefit holds a greater edge over the environmental aspect.
Certainly, international cooperation offers significant benefits to the environment. With the onset of new eras and technological advancements, countries can work collaboratively with others to bring about positive societal changes, notably in the environmental sphere. Global collaboration allows countries to mitigate the negative effects of climate change and promote a greener society. For instance, collective efforts to shift towards eco-friendly products can significantly reduce harmful impacts on flora and fauna aggravated by rising sea levels.
However, the impact of international collaboration on global business is more pronounced. The ability to extend business connections internationally can have substantial effects on world commerce. For example, the global availability of specific products, notwithstanding enormous distances like London to Seoul, eliminates geographical limitations. Furthermore, business collaboration initiates rapid technological advancements, such as that in computers, smartphones, and artificial intelligence, making life more convenient.
In conclusion, although environmental benefits from international cooperation are important, I believe global businesses, due to their capacity to rapidly transform lives and shape future societies, stand at the forefront of international collaboration.
Word count: 263
Essay translated in Korean:
국제협력은 일부 사람들에게는 환경에 대한 주요 이점을 제공한다고 믿어지는 반면, 다른 사람들은 글로벌 상업 발전이 가장 중요한 이익이라고 주장합니다. 두 가지 견해 모두 상당한 가중치를 가지지만, 내 관점에서는 경제적 이익이 환경적 측면에 더 큰 우위를 가지고 있습니다.
확실히, 국제 협력은 환경에 큰 이점을 제공합니다. 새로운 시대와 기술 발전에 대비하여, 국가들은 환경 분야에서 특히 주목할만한 긍정적인 사회 변화를 가져오기 위해 다른 국가들과 협력적으로 작업할 수 있습니다. 글로벌 협력은 국가들이 기후 변화의 부정적 영향을 완화하고 더 녹색적인 사회를 촉진할 수 있게 합니다. 예를 들어, 친환경 제품으로 전환하기 위한 집단적 노력은 해수면 상승에 따른 식물와 동물에 대한 해로운 영향을 크게 줄일 수 있습니다.
그러나 국제 협력이 세계 비즈니스에 미치는 영향은 더욱 두드러집니다. 비즈니스 연결을 국제적으로 확장할 수 있는 능력은 세계 상거래에 상당한 영향을 미칠 수 있습니다. 예를 들어, 특정 제품이 해외 어디에서나 사용 가능함으로써, 런던에서 서울처럼 거대한 거리라도 지리적 제한을 없앨 수 있습니다. 또한, 비즈니스 협력은 컴퓨터, 스마트폰, 인공 지능과 같은 빠른 기술 발전을 이끌어, 생활을 더 편리하게 합니다.
결론적으로, 국제 협력으로 인한 환경적 이점은 중요하지만, 빠르게 삶을 변화시키고 미래 사회를 형성하는 데있어 글로벌 사업이 국제 협력의 중심에 서 있다고 믿습니다.
Good expressions:
1. stands at the forefront: 중심에 서다
2. mitigates the negative effects: 부정적 영향을 완화하다
3. eliminates geographical limitations: 지리적 제한을 없애다
4. rapid technological advancements: 빠른 기술 발전
5. shape future societies: 미래 사회를 형성하다
6. carry considerable weight: 상당한 가중치를 가지다
7. offers significant benefits: 중요한 이점을 제공하다
8. allows countries to: 국가들이 ~할 수 있게한다
9. pronounced impact: 두드러진 영향
10. extend business connections: 비즈니스 연결을 확장하다
International collaboration is believed by some to yield major advantages for the environment, while others insist that the most significant gain is in the advancement of global commerce. Both viewpoints carry considerable weight, but in my perspective, the economic benefit holds a greater edge over the environmental aspect.
Certainly, international cooperation offers significant benefits to the environment. With the onset of new eras and technological advancements, countries can work collaboratively with others to bring about positive societal changes, notably in the environmental sphere. Global collaboration allows countries to mitigate the negative effects of climate change and promote a greener society. For instance, collective efforts to shift towards eco-friendly products can significantly reduce harmful impacts on flora and fauna aggravated by rising sea levels.
However, the impact of international collaboration on global business is more pronounced. The ability to extend business connections internationally can have substantial effects on world commerce. For example, the global availability of specific products, notwithstanding enormous distances like London to Seoul, eliminates geographical limitations. Furthermore, business collaboration initiates rapid technological advancements, such as that in computers, smartphones, and artificial intelligence, making life more convenient.
In conclusion, although environmental benefits from international cooperation are important, I believe global businesses, due to their capacity to rapidly transform lives and shape future societies, stand at the forefront of international collaboration.
Word count: 263
Essay translated in Korean:
국제협력은 일부 사람들에게는 환경에 대한 주요 이점을 제공한다고 믿어지는 반면, 다른 사람들은 글로벌 상업 발전이 가장 중요한 이익이라고 주장합니다. 두 가지 견해 모두 상당한 가중치를 가지지만, 내 관점에서는 경제적 이익이 환경적 측면에 더 큰 우위를 가지고 있습니다.
확실히, 국제 협력은 환경에 큰 이점을 제공합니다. 새로운 시대와 기술 발전에 대비하여, 국가들은 환경 분야에서 특히 주목할만한 긍정적인 사회 변화를 가져오기 위해 다른 국가들과 협력적으로 작업할 수 있습니다. 글로벌 협력은 국가들이 기후 변화의 부정적 영향을 완화하고 더 녹색적인 사회를 촉진할 수 있게 합니다. 예를 들어, 친환경 제품으로 전환하기 위한 집단적 노력은 해수면 상승에 따른 식물와 동물에 대한 해로운 영향을 크게 줄일 수 있습니다.
그러나 국제 협력이 세계 비즈니스에 미치는 영향은 더욱 두드러집니다. 비즈니스 연결을 국제적으로 확장할 수 있는 능력은 세계 상거래에 상당한 영향을 미칠 수 있습니다. 예를 들어, 특정 제품이 해외 어디에서나 사용 가능함으로써, 런던에서 서울처럼 거대한 거리라도 지리적 제한을 없앨 수 있습니다. 또한, 비즈니스 협력은 컴퓨터, 스마트폰, 인공 지능과 같은 빠른 기술 발전을 이끌어, 생활을 더 편리하게 합니다.
결론적으로, 국제 협력으로 인한 환경적 이점은 중요하지만, 빠르게 삶을 변화시키고 미래 사회를 형성하는 데있어 글로벌 사업이 국제 협력의 중심에 서 있다고 믿습니다.
Good expressions:
1. stands at the forefront: 중심에 서다
2. mitigates the negative effects: 부정적 영향을 완화하다
3. eliminates geographical limitations: 지리적 제한을 없애다
4. rapid technological advancements: 빠른 기술 발전
5. shape future societies: 미래 사회를 형성하다
6. carry considerable weight: 상당한 가중치를 가지다
7. offers significant benefits: 중요한 이점을 제공하다
8. allows countries to: 국가들이 ~할 수 있게한다
9. pronounced impact: 두드러진 영향
10. extend business connections: 비즈니스 연결을 확장하다
제출한 라이팅
Some people argue that improved environment is the major profit of international cooperation, while others contend that developed world business is the main. Both views are sufficiently persuasive, but my opinion leans toward the latter view than the former view.
On the one hand, as eras change and development of technology, all nations can be cooperative with other nations in the world. This brings various positive effects on current society, especially, environmental benefits markedly emerge. First of all, governments can recover the worse Earth due to global warming through cooperation. For instance, currently, various environments such as plants and animals are damaging from rising surface of the sea, resulting in making coherence policies, governments try to change their nation’s spending culture such as engaging eco-friendly products. Thus, countries’ major cooperation is in the environment.
On the other hand, there are numerous effects on aspects of world business. To create various connections, it is possible to expand the business to abroad, so international business massive effects on world business. For instance, if someone wants to get own country’s products, they can get everywhere, even if the longest distance such as London to Seoul. It means that products are not limitation, it is available everywhere. Additionally, as business cooperation in abroad, world’s developments are rapidly increasing. For example, developing various technologies such as computer, smartphone and artificial intelligent throughout many nations’ cooperation, leading to more convenience society. Therefore, International cooperation through business possessed the biggest part of current society and individual’s daily life.
In conclusion, while the environment also plays a crucial role in part of international cooperation, but I believe that world businesses can change individuals’ life and the future as soon as possible. Thus, world business is the most important part of international cooperation.
On the one hand, as eras change and development of technology, all nations can be cooperative with other nations in the world. This brings various positive effects on current society, especially, environmental benefits markedly emerge. First of all, governments can recover the worse Earth due to global warming through cooperation. For instance, currently, various environments such as plants and animals are damaging from rising surface of the sea, resulting in making coherence policies, governments try to change their nation’s spending culture such as engaging eco-friendly products. Thus, countries’ major cooperation is in the environment.
On the other hand, there are numerous effects on aspects of world business. To create various connections, it is possible to expand the business to abroad, so international business massive effects on world business. For instance, if someone wants to get own country’s products, they can get everywhere, even if the longest distance such as London to Seoul. It means that products are not limitation, it is available everywhere. Additionally, as business cooperation in abroad, world’s developments are rapidly increasing. For example, developing various technologies such as computer, smartphone and artificial intelligent throughout many nations’ cooperation, leading to more convenience society. Therefore, International cooperation through business possessed the biggest part of current society and individual’s daily life.
In conclusion, while the environment also plays a crucial role in part of international cooperation, but I believe that world businesses can change individuals’ life and the future as soon as possible. Thus, world business is the most important part of international cooperation.
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