아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
Some people believe that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect. Others think consuming domestic products is better. Discuss both these views andd give your own opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6
The essay mostly responds well to the task with both viewpoints being discussed.Whilst an opinion is present, it could be more clearly signposted. Furthermore, the paragraph breaks up the ideas arbitrarily, making it more difficult to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay has logical progression and cohesive devices were used relatively well. However, the organization of ideas could be better and the use of linking words could be more strategic.
Lexical Resource: 6.5
A range of vocabulary is used and there is evidence of attempts to use more complex vocabulary and idioms but with some inaccuracies. Some words are used inappropriately like "freshment" which should be "freshness", and there is repetition of the phrase "agricultural products".
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
There is a mix of complex and simple sentences, as well as successful subordination and coordination. However, there are some inaccuracies in articles, prepositions, agreement and tense usage. Also, wrong usage of capital letters is evident on the essay.
Overall: 6.1
Task Response: 6
The essay mostly responds well to the task with both viewpoints being discussed.Whilst an opinion is present, it could be more clearly signposted. Furthermore, the paragraph breaks up the ideas arbitrarily, making it more difficult to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
The essay has logical progression and cohesive devices were used relatively well. However, the organization of ideas could be better and the use of linking words could be more strategic.
Lexical Resource: 6.5
A range of vocabulary is used and there is evidence of attempts to use more complex vocabulary and idioms but with some inaccuracies. Some words are used inappropriately like "freshment" which should be "freshness", and there is repetition of the phrase "agricultural products".
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
There is a mix of complex and simple sentences, as well as successful subordination and coordination. However, there are some inaccuracies in articles, prepositions, agreement and tense usage. Also, wrong usage of capital letters is evident on the essay.
Overall: 6.1
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people believe that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect.
Others think consuming domestic products is better.
Discuss both these views andd give your own opinion.
Essay:
The ongoing debate about whether to purchase imported or domestic agricultural products is of considerable importance, owing primarily to their impact on consumers, farmers, and the national economy.
On the one hand, it can be argued that consuming domestically-produced agricultural goods offers significant advantages. Primarily, locally grown produce is frequently perceived to be fresher and more trustworthy, enhancing consumer preference for it over imported counterparts. This preference not only ensures the livelihood of local producers but also contributes to the government revenues by way of taxes levied on these domestic agricultural workers. For instance, in South Korea, local fruits and vegetables are favored over imports due chiefly to the freshness and perceived reliability of Korean farmers.
On the other hand, a contrasting viewpoint supports the purchase of imported agricultural products. The key advantage of this approach is that it fosters competition between foreign and local produce on the national market, leading to the quality enhancement and price reduction of the goods available. Consider the example of beef in South Korea; the significant import policy in the 2000s caused a decrease in overall beef prices and an improvement in the quality of locally-produced beef.
In conclusion, while the preference for domestic produce is understandable on account of freshness and reliability, the import of foreign products has its own merits in fostering competition and improving affordability.
Word count: 243
Essay translated in Korean:
수입 농산물과 국내 농산물 중 어떤 것을 구매할 것인지에 대한 지속적인 논란은 주로 그것들이 소비자, 농부, 그리고 국가 경제에 미치는 영향 때문에 중요하다.
한편으로는, 국산 농산물을 소비하는 것이 중요한 장점을 가지고 있다고 주장할 수 있다. 주로, 현지에서 재배된 생산물은 자주 신선하고 믿을 만하다는 인식을 가지고 있어, 수입품보다 이를 선호하는 소비자의 선호도를 높인다. 이러한 선호도는 현지 생산자의 생존을 보장할 뿐 아니라 농업 종사자에게 부과된 세금을 통해 정부의 세입에 기여한다. 예를 들어, 한국에서는 국산 과일과 야채가 신선도와 한국 농부의 신뢰도 때문에 수입품보다 선호된다.
다른 한편으로는, 수입 농산물을 구매하는 것을 지지하는 대조적인 견해가 있다. 이 접근법의 주요 장점은 외산과 국산 생산물 간의 국가 시장 경쟁을 촉진함으로써, 제품의 품질 향상과 가격 감소를 이끌어 낸다. 한국의 소고기를 예로 들어, 2000년대에 이루어진 대규모 수입 정책은 전체 소고기 가격의 하락과 국산 소고기의 품질 향상을 초래하였다.
결론적으로, 신선하고 믿을 수 있는 국산 생산물 선호는 이해할 수 있지만, 외산 제품의 수입은 경쟁을 조성하고 가격을 낮추는데 있어 그 자체의 장점을 가지고 있다.
Good expressions:
1. of considerable importance: 상당한 중요성을 가지고
2. fosters competition: 경쟁을 촉진한다
3. enhancing consumer preference: 소비자 선호도를 높인다
4. quality enhancement and price reduction: 품질 향상과 가격 감소
5. perceived reliability: 인식된 신뢰성
6. significant advantages: 중요한 장점
7. contributing to the government revenues: 정부의 세입에 기여하다.
The ongoing debate about whether to purchase imported or domestic agricultural products is of considerable importance, owing primarily to their impact on consumers, farmers, and the national economy.
On the one hand, it can be argued that consuming domestically-produced agricultural goods offers significant advantages. Primarily, locally grown produce is frequently perceived to be fresher and more trustworthy, enhancing consumer preference for it over imported counterparts. This preference not only ensures the livelihood of local producers but also contributes to the government revenues by way of taxes levied on these domestic agricultural workers. For instance, in South Korea, local fruits and vegetables are favored over imports due chiefly to the freshness and perceived reliability of Korean farmers.
On the other hand, a contrasting viewpoint supports the purchase of imported agricultural products. The key advantage of this approach is that it fosters competition between foreign and local produce on the national market, leading to the quality enhancement and price reduction of the goods available. Consider the example of beef in South Korea; the significant import policy in the 2000s caused a decrease in overall beef prices and an improvement in the quality of locally-produced beef.
In conclusion, while the preference for domestic produce is understandable on account of freshness and reliability, the import of foreign products has its own merits in fostering competition and improving affordability.
Word count: 243
Essay translated in Korean:
수입 농산물과 국내 농산물 중 어떤 것을 구매할 것인지에 대한 지속적인 논란은 주로 그것들이 소비자, 농부, 그리고 국가 경제에 미치는 영향 때문에 중요하다.
한편으로는, 국산 농산물을 소비하는 것이 중요한 장점을 가지고 있다고 주장할 수 있다. 주로, 현지에서 재배된 생산물은 자주 신선하고 믿을 만하다는 인식을 가지고 있어, 수입품보다 이를 선호하는 소비자의 선호도를 높인다. 이러한 선호도는 현지 생산자의 생존을 보장할 뿐 아니라 농업 종사자에게 부과된 세금을 통해 정부의 세입에 기여한다. 예를 들어, 한국에서는 국산 과일과 야채가 신선도와 한국 농부의 신뢰도 때문에 수입품보다 선호된다.
다른 한편으로는, 수입 농산물을 구매하는 것을 지지하는 대조적인 견해가 있다. 이 접근법의 주요 장점은 외산과 국산 생산물 간의 국가 시장 경쟁을 촉진함으로써, 제품의 품질 향상과 가격 감소를 이끌어 낸다. 한국의 소고기를 예로 들어, 2000년대에 이루어진 대규모 수입 정책은 전체 소고기 가격의 하락과 국산 소고기의 품질 향상을 초래하였다.
결론적으로, 신선하고 믿을 수 있는 국산 생산물 선호는 이해할 수 있지만, 외산 제품의 수입은 경쟁을 조성하고 가격을 낮추는데 있어 그 자체의 장점을 가지고 있다.
Good expressions:
1. of considerable importance: 상당한 중요성을 가지고
2. fosters competition: 경쟁을 촉진한다
3. enhancing consumer preference: 소비자 선호도를 높인다
4. quality enhancement and price reduction: 품질 향상과 가격 감소
5. perceived reliability: 인식된 신뢰성
6. significant advantages: 중요한 장점
7. contributing to the government revenues: 정부의 세입에 기여하다.
제출한 라이팅
It is a common belief that consuming agricultural products produced by domestic production is better due to reliablility and freshment.
However, there is a more persuasive argument that purchasing produce made by foreign farmers has more benefits when consumers go shopping for diverse products because both imports and domestic items compete with each other to occupy the share of a country's market more.
On the one hand, buying domestic produce has some advantages, the biggest one is purchasers can get more reliable and fresher agricultural products in grocery stores, which leads consumers to prefering domestic one than that of imported from overseas.
It also has another good effect on governments by government officials imposing more taxes on workers in agriculture.
it can make governments earn more tax revenues each year.
For example, In South Korea, the majority of koreans like to buy vegetables and fruits grown by korean producers more than imported ones considering better freshment and higher reliability of korean farmers.
Nevertheless, i strongly support the idea that importing produce from other countries are more beneficial to consumers in terms of competition with the two kind of products on a market.
Consumers can buy agricultural products more economically and affordably through domestic and imported goods competing with each other, which promotes lower prices of them and guarantees higher quality of vegetables and fruits.
Let's take an example of beef import in South Korea, the korean government implemented the policy that imports a great deal amount of beef In the 2000s, causing the total beef prices to be decreased and the quality of beef produced by koreans to be better.
However, there is a more persuasive argument that purchasing produce made by foreign farmers has more benefits when consumers go shopping for diverse products because both imports and domestic items compete with each other to occupy the share of a country's market more.
On the one hand, buying domestic produce has some advantages, the biggest one is purchasers can get more reliable and fresher agricultural products in grocery stores, which leads consumers to prefering domestic one than that of imported from overseas.
It also has another good effect on governments by government officials imposing more taxes on workers in agriculture.
it can make governments earn more tax revenues each year.
For example, In South Korea, the majority of koreans like to buy vegetables and fruits grown by korean producers more than imported ones considering better freshment and higher reliability of korean farmers.
Nevertheless, i strongly support the idea that importing produce from other countries are more beneficial to consumers in terms of competition with the two kind of products on a market.
Consumers can buy agricultural products more economically and affordably through domestic and imported goods competing with each other, which promotes lower prices of them and guarantees higher quality of vegetables and fruits.
Let's take an example of beef import in South Korea, the korean government implemented the policy that imports a great deal amount of beef In the 2000s, causing the total beef prices to be decreased and the quality of beef produced by koreans to be better.
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