아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
Some people believe that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect. Others think consuming domestic products is better. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay responds to the task by discussing both views. The points are presented clearly and supported by examples. However, the response to the negative side of consuming imported goods could have been discussed more exhaustively.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Ideas are logically ordered and well-explained, helping the essay flow smoothly from one point to another. However, the inconsistent use of paragraphing for different points can confuse the reader at times, leading to some lapses in coherence.
Lexical Resource: 7
The writer uses a wide range of vocabulary effectively to express precise meanings. Few spelling mistakes or incorrect word choices have been made, which does not significantly hinder understanding.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The candidate uses complex sentences and attempts to use a range of grammar structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as incorrect use of articles and inconsistency in verb tense.
Overall: 6.5
The essay is generally well-written and the arguments are well-developed. However, there are some weaknesses in coherence and grammatical accuracy that need to be addressed to improve the score.
Task Response: 7
The essay responds to the task by discussing both views. The points are presented clearly and supported by examples. However, the response to the negative side of consuming imported goods could have been discussed more exhaustively.
Coherence & Cohesion: 6
Ideas are logically ordered and well-explained, helping the essay flow smoothly from one point to another. However, the inconsistent use of paragraphing for different points can confuse the reader at times, leading to some lapses in coherence.
Lexical Resource: 7
The writer uses a wide range of vocabulary effectively to express precise meanings. Few spelling mistakes or incorrect word choices have been made, which does not significantly hinder understanding.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The candidate uses complex sentences and attempts to use a range of grammar structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as incorrect use of articles and inconsistency in verb tense.
Overall: 6.5
The essay is generally well-written and the arguments are well-developed. However, there are some weaknesses in coherence and grammatical accuracy that need to be addressed to improve the score.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people believe that purchasing imported agricultural products has a positive effect.
Others think consuming domestic products is better.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Essay:
The debate over the consumption of imported versus domestic agricultural products is a salient one, often centering on the aspects of freshness, reliability, and economic impact.
Foremost, proponents of buying local agricultural goods argue that domestically produced items ensure more reliability and freshness. Their contention is that consumers can trust the quality of these items because they are often grown under the observance of familiar farming practices and don't also have to endure long shipping exposures, therefore retaining more freshness. An additional advantage suggested is the potential economic boost to the local economies. Higher taxes on domestic farmers could lead to increased local revenue. The example in South Korea, where many citizens prefer their local agricultural products due to perceived better freshness and reliability, underscores this view.
On the contrary, others perceive the import of agricultural produce as a more favorable choice. The crux of their argument is competition-led affordability and quality. They suggest that having both imported and domestic goods vying for market share promotes lower prices. The stimulus of competition can also drive an increase in product quality. South Korea's beef export policy in the 2000s exemplifies this, as the introduction of large import quantities led to decreased beef prices and better local beef quality.
In conclusion, both standpoints bring valuable considerations to the table, and the choice might ultimately be individual consumer preferences.
Word count: 254
Essay translated in Korean:
수입 농산물 대 국내 농산물의 소비에 관한 논쟁은 신선도, 신뢰성, 경제적 영향의 관점에서 중요합니다.
우선, 국내 농산물 구매의 찬성자들은 국내에서 생산된 물품이 더 신뢰성이 있고 신선하다고 주장합니다. 이들은 이러한 물품의 품질을 신뢰할 수 있다고 주장하는데, 이는 익숙한 농업 관행의 감독하에 자라나며 긴 운송 시간을 겪지 않아 더 많은 신선도를 유지한다고 생각하기 때문입니다. 추가적인 장점으로는 현지 경제에 미치는 긍정적인 영향을 제안합니다. 국내 농부에 대한 높은 세금은 지역 수입을 늘릴 수 있습니다. 대한민국에서 많은 시민들이 더 나은 신선도와 신뢰성 때문에 현지 농산물을 선호하는 예시가 이를 부각시킵니다.
반면, 일부는 농산물 수입이 더 나은 선택이라고 생각합니다. 그들의 주장의 핵심은 경쟁에 의한 합리적인 가격과 품질입니다. 그들은 수입과 국내 상품이 모두 시장 점유율을 놓고 경쟁하면서 가격이 낮아진다고 주장합니다. 경쟁 자극은 또한 제품 품질 상승을 이끌어낼 수 있습니다. 한국의 2000년대 쇠고기 수출 정책이 이런 예로서, 대량 수입이 도입되면서 쇠고기의 가격이 내려가고 국내 쇠고기의 품질이 향상되었습니다.
결론적으로, 두 입장 모두 소비자의 개인적인 선택이 결정적일 수 있다는 점을 고려하면 이번 논쟁에는 중요한 고려사항을 제공합니다.
Good expressions:
1. A salient one [중요한 것]
2. Familiar farming practices [익숙한 농업 관행]
3. Vying for market share [시장 점유율을 놓고 경쟁하는]
4. Competition-led affordability [경쟁에 의해 가능한 가격]
5. Stimulus of competition [경쟁의 자극]
6. Valuable considerations [진지한 고려사항]
7. Individual consumer preferences [개별 소비자의 선호도]
The debate over the consumption of imported versus domestic agricultural products is a salient one, often centering on the aspects of freshness, reliability, and economic impact.
Foremost, proponents of buying local agricultural goods argue that domestically produced items ensure more reliability and freshness. Their contention is that consumers can trust the quality of these items because they are often grown under the observance of familiar farming practices and don't also have to endure long shipping exposures, therefore retaining more freshness. An additional advantage suggested is the potential economic boost to the local economies. Higher taxes on domestic farmers could lead to increased local revenue. The example in South Korea, where many citizens prefer their local agricultural products due to perceived better freshness and reliability, underscores this view.
On the contrary, others perceive the import of agricultural produce as a more favorable choice. The crux of their argument is competition-led affordability and quality. They suggest that having both imported and domestic goods vying for market share promotes lower prices. The stimulus of competition can also drive an increase in product quality. South Korea's beef export policy in the 2000s exemplifies this, as the introduction of large import quantities led to decreased beef prices and better local beef quality.
In conclusion, both standpoints bring valuable considerations to the table, and the choice might ultimately be individual consumer preferences.
Word count: 254
Essay translated in Korean:
수입 농산물 대 국내 농산물의 소비에 관한 논쟁은 신선도, 신뢰성, 경제적 영향의 관점에서 중요합니다.
우선, 국내 농산물 구매의 찬성자들은 국내에서 생산된 물품이 더 신뢰성이 있고 신선하다고 주장합니다. 이들은 이러한 물품의 품질을 신뢰할 수 있다고 주장하는데, 이는 익숙한 농업 관행의 감독하에 자라나며 긴 운송 시간을 겪지 않아 더 많은 신선도를 유지한다고 생각하기 때문입니다. 추가적인 장점으로는 현지 경제에 미치는 긍정적인 영향을 제안합니다. 국내 농부에 대한 높은 세금은 지역 수입을 늘릴 수 있습니다. 대한민국에서 많은 시민들이 더 나은 신선도와 신뢰성 때문에 현지 농산물을 선호하는 예시가 이를 부각시킵니다.
반면, 일부는 농산물 수입이 더 나은 선택이라고 생각합니다. 그들의 주장의 핵심은 경쟁에 의한 합리적인 가격과 품질입니다. 그들은 수입과 국내 상품이 모두 시장 점유율을 놓고 경쟁하면서 가격이 낮아진다고 주장합니다. 경쟁 자극은 또한 제품 품질 상승을 이끌어낼 수 있습니다. 한국의 2000년대 쇠고기 수출 정책이 이런 예로서, 대량 수입이 도입되면서 쇠고기의 가격이 내려가고 국내 쇠고기의 품질이 향상되었습니다.
결론적으로, 두 입장 모두 소비자의 개인적인 선택이 결정적일 수 있다는 점을 고려하면 이번 논쟁에는 중요한 고려사항을 제공합니다.
Good expressions:
1. A salient one [중요한 것]
2. Familiar farming practices [익숙한 농업 관행]
3. Vying for market share [시장 점유율을 놓고 경쟁하는]
4. Competition-led affordability [경쟁에 의해 가능한 가격]
5. Stimulus of competition [경쟁의 자극]
6. Valuable considerations [진지한 고려사항]
7. Individual consumer preferences [개별 소비자의 선호도]
제출한 라이팅
It is common belief that consuming agriculture products produced by domestic production is better due to reliabliliby and freshment.
However, there is a more persuasive argument that purchasing produce made by importers has more benefits when consumers go shopping for diverse products because both imports and domestic items compete with each other to occupy the share of a country's market more.
On the one hand, buying domestic produce has some advantages, the biggest one is purchasers can get more reliable and fresh agricultural products in grocery stores, which leads consumers to prefering domestic one than that of imported from overseas.
It also has another good effect on governments by government officials imposing more taxes on workers in agriculture.
it can make governments earn more tax revenues each year.
For example, In South Korea, the majority of koreans like to buy vegetables and fruits grown by korean producers more than imported ones considering better freshment and higher reliability of korean farmers.
Nevertheless, i strongly support the idea that importing produce from other countries are more beneficial to consumers in terms of competition with the two kind of products on a market.
Consumers can buy agricultural products more economically and affordably through domestic and imported goods competing with each other, which promotes lower prices of them and guarantees higher quality of vegetables and fruits.
Let's take an example of beef export in South Korea, the korean government implemented the policy that imports a great deal amount of beef In the 2000s, causing the total beef prices to be decreased and the quality of beef produced by koreans to be better.
However, there is a more persuasive argument that purchasing produce made by importers has more benefits when consumers go shopping for diverse products because both imports and domestic items compete with each other to occupy the share of a country's market more.
On the one hand, buying domestic produce has some advantages, the biggest one is purchasers can get more reliable and fresh agricultural products in grocery stores, which leads consumers to prefering domestic one than that of imported from overseas.
It also has another good effect on governments by government officials imposing more taxes on workers in agriculture.
it can make governments earn more tax revenues each year.
For example, In South Korea, the majority of koreans like to buy vegetables and fruits grown by korean producers more than imported ones considering better freshment and higher reliability of korean farmers.
Nevertheless, i strongly support the idea that importing produce from other countries are more beneficial to consumers in terms of competition with the two kind of products on a market.
Consumers can buy agricultural products more economically and affordably through domestic and imported goods competing with each other, which promotes lower prices of them and guarantees higher quality of vegetables and fruits.
Let's take an example of beef export in South Korea, the korean government implemented the policy that imports a great deal amount of beef In the 2000s, causing the total beef prices to be decreased and the quality of beef produced by koreans to be better.
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