아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [5.0]
The student competently addressed the topic and presented a clear argument against the idea that online coaching is superior. However, the argument could have been better supported with relevant examples and more detailed elaborations.
Coherence & Cohesion: [5.0]
The essay follows a logical structure from the introduction to the conclusion. However, some arguments are not developed in full and there are a few abrupt transitions that disturb the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource: [6.0]
The student shows a reasonable range of vocabulary. There might be a few awkward word choices but, at most places, the sentences are clear and the vocabulary appropriately used.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [4.5]
Sentences are somewhat grammatically correct with a few instances of bad grammar. It is clear the writer has some understanding of complex structures, however, there is still a significant amount of errors present in sentence structures and tense usage.
Overall: [5.125]
Task Response: [5.0]
The student competently addressed the topic and presented a clear argument against the idea that online coaching is superior. However, the argument could have been better supported with relevant examples and more detailed elaborations.
Coherence & Cohesion: [5.0]
The essay follows a logical structure from the introduction to the conclusion. However, some arguments are not developed in full and there are a few abrupt transitions that disturb the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource: [6.0]
The student shows a reasonable range of vocabulary. There might be a few awkward word choices but, at most places, the sentences are clear and the vocabulary appropriately used.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [4.5]
Sentences are somewhat grammatically correct with a few instances of bad grammar. It is clear the writer has some understanding of complex structures, however, there is still a significant amount of errors present in sentence structures and tense usage.
Overall: [5.125]
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Essay:
In recent times, digital coaching services have experienced a surge in demand, leading some individuals to consider online mentorship superior to traditional in-person coaching. However, I'm inclined to disagree due to reasons like personal effectiveness and the reliability of online tools.
One of the primary reasons for the surge in online coaching services is the diminishing level of self-confidence and diligence amongst people. In today's fast-paced world, individuals often feel bombarded with various expectations and aspirations, making it overwhelming and causing a loss of focus. However, choosing a specific goal and devoting consistent effort towards it is a better approach. In doing so, individuals adopt the position of being their own 'coach', maximizing their potential.
Additionally, the reliability of online coaching services can be questionable. The needs of every individual seeking self-improvement are multifaceted and unique to their personality and life experiences. Hence, a one-size-fits-all approach, often promoted by online coaching, falls short in considering these individual differences. There may also be an argument concerning the unique resources provided by online services. However, a firm believe in oneself complemented by diligent practice often outdoes any externally provided resources; as evidenced by the successes of numerous figures who had no form of coaching.
In conclusion, the growing demand for online coaching services does not necessarily negate the value of an individual being their own self-coach. It is vital not to conflate popularity with effectiveness.
Word count: 262
Essay translated in Korean:
최근들어 디지털 코칭 서비스는 고객의 수요가 급증하면서 일부 개인들은 온라인 멘토링을 기 traditional한 오프라인 코칭보다 우수하다고 생각합니다. 그러나 개인의 효율성과 온라인 도구의 신뢰성과 같은 이유로 나는 이에 동의하지 않습니다.
온라인 코칭 서비스의 수요가 급증하는 주요 이유 중 하나는 사람들 사이에 자신감과 근면함이 줄어들고 있다는 것입니다. 빠른 속도로 변화하는 오늘날의 세상에서는 개인들이 다양한 기대와 포부에 대한 과도한 압박을 느끼며 초점을 잃는다는 것이다. 그러나 특정한 목표를 선택하고 그것에 일관되게 노력하는 것이 더 나은 방법이다. 이렇게 하면 개인들은 자신의 '코치'의 위치를 점하게 되어 그들의 잠재력을 극대화한다.
더불어 온라인 코칭 서비스의 신뢰성은 의심의 여지가 있다. 자기 개발을 추구하는 모든 개인의 필요성은 그들의 성격과 생활 경험에 고유하며 다재다능하다. 따라서 온라인 코칭이 종종 홍보하는 원 사이즈가 모두에게 맞는 접근법은 이러한 개인 차이를 고려하지 못하는 경향이 있다. 또한 온라인 서비스에서 제공하는 독특한 자원에 대한 논란이 있을 수 있다. 그러나 자기 자신을 확신하고 부지런히 연습하는 것은 종종 외부에서 제공되는 어떤 자원보다 오히려 뛰어나다. 이는 어떤 형태의 코칭도 없던 수많은 인물들의 성공이 증명하고 있다.
결론적으로, 온라인 코칭 서비스에 대한 수요가 증가하는 것은 반드시 개인이 자신의 셀프 코치의 가치를 부정하지는 않는다. 인기와 효과성을 혼동해서는 안된다는 점이 중요하다.
Good expressions:
1. "I'm inclined to disagree" - 나는 이견이 있습니다.
2. "a firm believe in oneself" - 자신에 대한 확고한 믿음
3. "conflate popularity with effectiveness" - 효과성과 인기성을 혼동하다.
In recent times, digital coaching services have experienced a surge in demand, leading some individuals to consider online mentorship superior to traditional in-person coaching. However, I'm inclined to disagree due to reasons like personal effectiveness and the reliability of online tools.
One of the primary reasons for the surge in online coaching services is the diminishing level of self-confidence and diligence amongst people. In today's fast-paced world, individuals often feel bombarded with various expectations and aspirations, making it overwhelming and causing a loss of focus. However, choosing a specific goal and devoting consistent effort towards it is a better approach. In doing so, individuals adopt the position of being their own 'coach', maximizing their potential.
Additionally, the reliability of online coaching services can be questionable. The needs of every individual seeking self-improvement are multifaceted and unique to their personality and life experiences. Hence, a one-size-fits-all approach, often promoted by online coaching, falls short in considering these individual differences. There may also be an argument concerning the unique resources provided by online services. However, a firm believe in oneself complemented by diligent practice often outdoes any externally provided resources; as evidenced by the successes of numerous figures who had no form of coaching.
In conclusion, the growing demand for online coaching services does not necessarily negate the value of an individual being their own self-coach. It is vital not to conflate popularity with effectiveness.
Word count: 262
Essay translated in Korean:
최근들어 디지털 코칭 서비스는 고객의 수요가 급증하면서 일부 개인들은 온라인 멘토링을 기 traditional한 오프라인 코칭보다 우수하다고 생각합니다. 그러나 개인의 효율성과 온라인 도구의 신뢰성과 같은 이유로 나는 이에 동의하지 않습니다.
온라인 코칭 서비스의 수요가 급증하는 주요 이유 중 하나는 사람들 사이에 자신감과 근면함이 줄어들고 있다는 것입니다. 빠른 속도로 변화하는 오늘날의 세상에서는 개인들이 다양한 기대와 포부에 대한 과도한 압박을 느끼며 초점을 잃는다는 것이다. 그러나 특정한 목표를 선택하고 그것에 일관되게 노력하는 것이 더 나은 방법이다. 이렇게 하면 개인들은 자신의 '코치'의 위치를 점하게 되어 그들의 잠재력을 극대화한다.
더불어 온라인 코칭 서비스의 신뢰성은 의심의 여지가 있다. 자기 개발을 추구하는 모든 개인의 필요성은 그들의 성격과 생활 경험에 고유하며 다재다능하다. 따라서 온라인 코칭이 종종 홍보하는 원 사이즈가 모두에게 맞는 접근법은 이러한 개인 차이를 고려하지 못하는 경향이 있다. 또한 온라인 서비스에서 제공하는 독특한 자원에 대한 논란이 있을 수 있다. 그러나 자기 자신을 확신하고 부지런히 연습하는 것은 종종 외부에서 제공되는 어떤 자원보다 오히려 뛰어나다. 이는 어떤 형태의 코칭도 없던 수많은 인물들의 성공이 증명하고 있다.
결론적으로, 온라인 코칭 서비스에 대한 수요가 증가하는 것은 반드시 개인이 자신의 셀프 코치의 가치를 부정하지는 않는다. 인기와 효과성을 혼동해서는 안된다는 점이 중요하다.
Good expressions:
1. "I'm inclined to disagree" - 나는 이견이 있습니다.
2. "a firm believe in oneself" - 자신에 대한 확고한 믿음
3. "conflate popularity with effectiveness" - 효과성과 인기성을 혼동하다.
제출한 라이팅
Nowadays, the coaching services are getting more common amongst individuals and the desire for online coaching programs enhances significantly. It is believed that online coaching is more important than the in-person coach. I think this idea is unjustifiable and I disagree with it.
First and foremost, the desire for online coaching is increasing because the lack of self-confidence and diligent in people. In my view, society are bombing with various ideas and purposes in this modern era, so people become more confused and they lost in many ideal futures which they can have. However, they ought to choose one specific goal and be more hard-working. In this way they can be focused on their own purpose and be their own coach.
Moreover, some online coach programs are not trustworthy and their schedules do not work for people. Individuals are seeking for better life are not the same and they have different personality and life, so online coaching do not consider these differences.
Some might argue that online coaching services have essential and unique information that helps everybody to be success; however, I think the important factor leading to success in just practice and self believe. Great man and woman did not access any coach, they believed in themselves and work hard until they achieve their goal.
In conclusion, growing the desire for online coaching services does not mean the person cannot able to lead itself because of above mentioned reasons.
First and foremost, the desire for online coaching is increasing because the lack of self-confidence and diligent in people. In my view, society are bombing with various ideas and purposes in this modern era, so people become more confused and they lost in many ideal futures which they can have. However, they ought to choose one specific goal and be more hard-working. In this way they can be focused on their own purpose and be their own coach.
Moreover, some online coach programs are not trustworthy and their schedules do not work for people. Individuals are seeking for better life are not the same and they have different personality and life, so online coaching do not consider these differences.
Some might argue that online coaching services have essential and unique information that helps everybody to be success; however, I think the important factor leading to success in just practice and self believe. Great man and woman did not access any coach, they believed in themselves and work hard until they achieve their goal.
In conclusion, growing the desire for online coaching services does not mean the person cannot able to lead itself because of above mentioned reasons.
공유
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