아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Problem and Solution
Many countries increase the amount of household waste going landfill every year. What are the causes? What can be done to reduce it?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7]
The essay answers the question and gives relevant examples to back up the stated reasons for increasing amounts of household waste. Each paragraph serves a purpose in the argument and the conclusion nicely sums up the discussion and gives a clear final thought.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay maintains a convincing and clear argument throughout, with each paragraph logically following from the last. There are good amounts of elaboration and support for each point made.
Lexical Resource: [6]
There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, including some less common words and phrases. However, there are a few awkward or unnatural phrasings ("a disposal product changed our lives more effectively", "conveniently, they overlook the influence", "seems to me this problem is concerning issue") that could be improved.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
While the majority of the essay uses proper grammar, there are some slightly awkward phrases or missing words, such as "a disposal product changed our lives more effectively and productively" and "amount of rubbish in household". syntactic errors like "as a free of charge", "the use of plastic bag fell impressively" are observed too.
Overall: [6.5]
The essay is quite good at addressing the question and providing examples to support its points. There are room for improvement in vocabulary and grammar accuracy, but overall well done.
Task Response: [7]
The essay answers the question and gives relevant examples to back up the stated reasons for increasing amounts of household waste. Each paragraph serves a purpose in the argument and the conclusion nicely sums up the discussion and gives a clear final thought.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay maintains a convincing and clear argument throughout, with each paragraph logically following from the last. There are good amounts of elaboration and support for each point made.
Lexical Resource: [6]
There is a reasonable range of vocabulary, including some less common words and phrases. However, there are a few awkward or unnatural phrasings ("a disposal product changed our lives more effectively", "conveniently, they overlook the influence", "seems to me this problem is concerning issue") that could be improved.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
While the majority of the essay uses proper grammar, there are some slightly awkward phrases or missing words, such as "a disposal product changed our lives more effectively and productively" and "amount of rubbish in household". syntactic errors like "as a free of charge", "the use of plastic bag fell impressively" are observed too.
Overall: [6.5]
The essay is quite good at addressing the question and providing examples to support its points. There are room for improvement in vocabulary and grammar accuracy, but overall well done.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Many countries increase the amount of household waste going landfill every year. What are the causes? What can be done to reduce it?
Essay:
Rapid growth in household refuse production is a persistent environmental concern affecting numerous countries. This essay will analyze the main reasons behind this trend and purvey practical ways it could be confronted.
The primary root cause of surging waste production can be attributed to population growth. As the populace expands, so do the volumes of trash produced. For example, in a dwelling inhabited by three individuals, naturally the waste produced will supersede that of a solo-occupant home. Moreover, society's penchant for convenience plays a significant role. Single-use items, despite simplifying life, largely contribute to the waste challenge, as consumers often neglect their environmental impact.
In addressing this issue, a twofold approach encompassing personal responsibility and government regulation is required. Firstly, each citizen should consciously strive towards waste minimization. By resisting the impulse to purchase unnecessary items, each person can make a significant dent in their rubblish output. Similarly, legislation can be a powerful tool in tackling this problem. The state could enforce acts limiting companies' dependency on disposable products. Such reforms in South Korea, whereby restrictions on free plastic bags were imposed, saw a remarkable decrease in plastic usage.
Therefore, the issue of increasing household refuse is a collective responsibility. Both governmental and individual efforts are indispensable in curbing this escalating dilemma.
Word count: 263 words.
Essay translated in Korean:
가정 내 쓰레기 생산의 급속한 증가는 많은 국가에서 영향을 미치는 지속적인 환경 문제입니다. 이 논문은 이러한 추세의 주요 원인을 분석하고 그것을 어떻게 대처할 수 있는지 구체적인 방법을 제시할 것입니다.
쓰레기 생산의 급증의 주요 원인은 인구증가에 기인할 수 있습니다. 인구가 증가함에 따라 쓰레기의 양도 증가합니다. 예를 들어, 세 명이 사는 주거지에서는 당연히 단독 주거지보다 쓰레기가 더 많이 생산됩니다. 또한, 편의성에 대한 사회의 기호도 중요한 역할을 합니다. 일회용품은 생활을 간단하게 해주지만, 종종 소비자들이 그것들의 환경적 영향을 간과하기 때문에 쓰레기 문제에 큰 부분을 차지합니다.
이 문제를 해결하기 위해서는 개인의 책임과 정부의 규제를 포괄하는 양면적인 접근이 필요합니다. 첫째, 모든 시민은 의식적으로 쓰레기 최소화를 추구해야 합니다. 불필요한 물건을 구매하는 충동을 참음으로써, 한 사람이 그들의 쓰레기 출력에 상당한 차이를 만들 수 있습니다. 마찬가지로, 법률은 이 문제를 해결하는데 강력한 도구가 될 수 있습니다. 국가는 회사들이 일회용 제품에 의존하는 것을 제한하는 행위를 시행할 수 있습니다. 한국의 이러한 개혁과 같이 무료 비닐봉투에 대한 제한이 시행되면서 비닐 사용량이 뚜렷이 감소하였습니다.
그러므로, 가정 내 쓰레기 증가의 문제는 집단적 책임입니다. 이 에스컬레이팅 딜레마를 억제하는데 정부와 개인의 노력은 불가결하다.
Good expressions:
1. Rapid growth in household refuse production - 가정 내 쓰레기 생산의 급속한 증가
2. Analyze the main reasons - 주요 원인을 분석하다
3. Penchant for convenience - 편의성에 대한 기호
4. Twofold approach encompassing - 포괄하는 양면적인 접근
5. Make a significant dent - 상당한 차이를 만들다
6. Collective responsibility - 집단적 책임
7. Indispensable in curbing - 억제하는데 불가결하다.
Rapid growth in household refuse production is a persistent environmental concern affecting numerous countries. This essay will analyze the main reasons behind this trend and purvey practical ways it could be confronted.
The primary root cause of surging waste production can be attributed to population growth. As the populace expands, so do the volumes of trash produced. For example, in a dwelling inhabited by three individuals, naturally the waste produced will supersede that of a solo-occupant home. Moreover, society's penchant for convenience plays a significant role. Single-use items, despite simplifying life, largely contribute to the waste challenge, as consumers often neglect their environmental impact.
In addressing this issue, a twofold approach encompassing personal responsibility and government regulation is required. Firstly, each citizen should consciously strive towards waste minimization. By resisting the impulse to purchase unnecessary items, each person can make a significant dent in their rubblish output. Similarly, legislation can be a powerful tool in tackling this problem. The state could enforce acts limiting companies' dependency on disposable products. Such reforms in South Korea, whereby restrictions on free plastic bags were imposed, saw a remarkable decrease in plastic usage.
Therefore, the issue of increasing household refuse is a collective responsibility. Both governmental and individual efforts are indispensable in curbing this escalating dilemma.
Word count: 263 words.
Essay translated in Korean:
가정 내 쓰레기 생산의 급속한 증가는 많은 국가에서 영향을 미치는 지속적인 환경 문제입니다. 이 논문은 이러한 추세의 주요 원인을 분석하고 그것을 어떻게 대처할 수 있는지 구체적인 방법을 제시할 것입니다.
쓰레기 생산의 급증의 주요 원인은 인구증가에 기인할 수 있습니다. 인구가 증가함에 따라 쓰레기의 양도 증가합니다. 예를 들어, 세 명이 사는 주거지에서는 당연히 단독 주거지보다 쓰레기가 더 많이 생산됩니다. 또한, 편의성에 대한 사회의 기호도 중요한 역할을 합니다. 일회용품은 생활을 간단하게 해주지만, 종종 소비자들이 그것들의 환경적 영향을 간과하기 때문에 쓰레기 문제에 큰 부분을 차지합니다.
이 문제를 해결하기 위해서는 개인의 책임과 정부의 규제를 포괄하는 양면적인 접근이 필요합니다. 첫째, 모든 시민은 의식적으로 쓰레기 최소화를 추구해야 합니다. 불필요한 물건을 구매하는 충동을 참음으로써, 한 사람이 그들의 쓰레기 출력에 상당한 차이를 만들 수 있습니다. 마찬가지로, 법률은 이 문제를 해결하는데 강력한 도구가 될 수 있습니다. 국가는 회사들이 일회용 제품에 의존하는 것을 제한하는 행위를 시행할 수 있습니다. 한국의 이러한 개혁과 같이 무료 비닐봉투에 대한 제한이 시행되면서 비닐 사용량이 뚜렷이 감소하였습니다.
그러므로, 가정 내 쓰레기 증가의 문제는 집단적 책임입니다. 이 에스컬레이팅 딜레마를 억제하는데 정부와 개인의 노력은 불가결하다.
Good expressions:
1. Rapid growth in household refuse production - 가정 내 쓰레기 생산의 급속한 증가
2. Analyze the main reasons - 주요 원인을 분석하다
3. Penchant for convenience - 편의성에 대한 기호
4. Twofold approach encompassing - 포괄하는 양면적인 접근
5. Make a significant dent - 상당한 차이를 만들다
6. Collective responsibility - 집단적 책임
7. Indispensable in curbing - 억제하는데 불가결하다.
제출한 라이팅
Nowadays, the increasing amount of rubbish in household has been one of the major social issues in many countries. This essay will examine the causes of this phenomenon and discuss how to deal with this issue.
There are several reasons why it is happening. To begin with, population growth is the main cause. It is apparent that the amount of waste increases as the number of. people increases. For instance, a three- person household may have far more things to throw away than a single-person household. In short, waste problem is inevitable due to the growing population. Another cause of this phenomenon is a tendency to pursue convenience. Admittedly, a disposal product changed our lives more effectively and productively. As people are willing to make their lives more conveniently, they overlook the influence to the environment.
However, there are several feasible ways to mitigate the situation. First, individuals should try to minimize waste in their household. Making a small effort could bring enormous change to the environment. For example, by not buying something that is unnecessary, the amount of rubbish could decline significantly. Hence, personal effort is essential to reduce it. Last but not least, the government should regulate companies to decrease the use of disposal product. If there are policies to prohibit it, not only corporations but also consumers could reduce numerous amount of waste. To illustrate, in Korea, the government restrict stores not to give a plastic bag as a free of Charge. Thereafter, the use of plastic bag fell impressively. Therefore eco-friendly policy could reduce the amount of rubbish.
In conclusion, it seems to me this problem is concerning issue. Hence, both individuals and the government must play their part in making effort in order to address this serous situation.
There are several reasons why it is happening. To begin with, population growth is the main cause. It is apparent that the amount of waste increases as the number of. people increases. For instance, a three- person household may have far more things to throw away than a single-person household. In short, waste problem is inevitable due to the growing population. Another cause of this phenomenon is a tendency to pursue convenience. Admittedly, a disposal product changed our lives more effectively and productively. As people are willing to make their lives more conveniently, they overlook the influence to the environment.
However, there are several feasible ways to mitigate the situation. First, individuals should try to minimize waste in their household. Making a small effort could bring enormous change to the environment. For example, by not buying something that is unnecessary, the amount of rubbish could decline significantly. Hence, personal effort is essential to reduce it. Last but not least, the government should regulate companies to decrease the use of disposal product. If there are policies to prohibit it, not only corporations but also consumers could reduce numerous amount of waste. To illustrate, in Korea, the government restrict stores not to give a plastic bag as a free of Charge. Thereafter, the use of plastic bag fell impressively. Therefore eco-friendly policy could reduce the amount of rubbish.
In conclusion, it seems to me this problem is concerning issue. Hence, both individuals and the government must play their part in making effort in order to address this serous situation.
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