아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
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This chart illustrates the most appealing courses by admission at Uk undergraduate school in 2007 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7]
The student has clearly addressed the task requirement by identifying the main trends, changes and comparisons. However, some figures are provided without any clear analysis or context which can make it slightly difficult to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay is logically organized, and the ideas are sequenced in a clear and consistent way. However, the transitional phrases used are sometimes incorrect or awkward, such as “Again it is more than 2 fold.”
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student has used a range of vocabulary to express different ideas about the graphs. Yet, they should have diversified their language when expressing increase and decrease.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
The use of verb tenses is generally accurate. However, there are a few grammatical errors and incorrect sentence structures, such as "this course maintained the most unpopular trend" and "psychology holds the second most popular course constantly".
Overall: [6.75]
The essay covers the key information shown in the bar chart but the student should focus on improving their sentence structure and the accuracy of their grammar and vocabulary use.
Task Response: [7]
The student has clearly addressed the task requirement by identifying the main trends, changes and comparisons. However, some figures are provided without any clear analysis or context which can make it slightly difficult to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7]
The essay is logically organized, and the ideas are sequenced in a clear and consistent way. However, the transitional phrases used are sometimes incorrect or awkward, such as “Again it is more than 2 fold.”
Lexical Resource: [7]
The student has used a range of vocabulary to express different ideas about the graphs. Yet, they should have diversified their language when expressing increase and decrease.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
The use of verb tenses is generally accurate. However, there are a few grammatical errors and incorrect sentence structures, such as "this course maintained the most unpopular trend" and "psychology holds the second most popular course constantly".
Overall: [6.75]
The essay covers the key information shown in the bar chart but the student should focus on improving their sentence structure and the accuracy of their grammar and vocabulary use.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
This chart illustrates the most appealing courses by admission at Uk undergraduate school in 2007 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Essay:
The chart provided portrays the popularity of various undergraduate courses in UK higher education institutions for the years 2007 and 2014. The parameters used include the number of admissions for each course.
Observably, the intake of students in 2014 shows an increase when compared to 2007, with the smallest recorded number of admissions being 50,000, more than double the previous minimum number in 2007. Law was notably the most sought-after course among students in 2007, with approximately 85,000 admissions. But by 2014, there was a paradigm shift as Nursing became the preferred choice among the majority. Conversely, Computer Science appeared to hold steady as the least popular course across both years, with no significant increase or decrease in student admissions. This maintains a steady continuity for this subject in both years.
In comparison, both Psychology and Design courses showed a noticeable and positive change in popularity. Psychology remained the second most popular course in 2014 despite an increase of over 10,000 students while Design, in the fourth ranking position in both years, saw a growth of approximately 30,000 admissions over the 7 year period.
In conclusion, while some courses fluctuated in popularity between 2007 and 2014, others maintained consistent rankings in both years.
Word count: 212
Essay translated in Korean:
제공된 차트는 2007년과 2014년의 영국 고등 교육 기관에서 다양한 학부 과정의 인기도를 보여줍니다. 사용된 매개 변수는 각 과정에 대한 입학 수를 포함합니다.
옹긋봤을 때, 2014년의 학생 수용량이 2007년에 비해 증가하였으며 가장 적은 입학 수가 50,000명으로 2007년의 최소 수보다 두 배 이상이었습니다. 법은 2007년에 학생들 사이에서 가장 많이 찾는 과정이었으며 입학생은 대략 85,000명이었습니다. 하지만 2014년에는 대다수의 학생들이 선호하는 선택으로 간호가 패러다임을 전환했습니다. 반면, 컴퓨터 과학은 두 연도 동안 가장 인기가 없는 과정으로 보일 것이고 학생들의 입학 수가 별로 증가하지 않거나 감소하지 않은 채로 유지되었습니다. 이것은 두 해 동안 이 과목에 대한 안정적인 연속성을 유지합니다.
비교적으로, 심리학과 디자인 과정은 인기도에서 눈에 띄는 긍정적인 변화를 보였습니다. 심리학은 10,000명 이상의 학생 수가 증가했음에도 불구하고 2014년에 두 번째로 가장 인기 있는 과정이었으며, 디자인은 두 해 동안 네 번째 순위를 유지했지만 7년 동안 약 30,000명의 입학생이 늘었습니다.
결론적으로, 일부 과정은 2007년과 2014년 사이에 인기도가 변했지만 다른 과정은 두 해 동안 일관된 순위를 유지하였습니다.
Good expressions:
1. paradigm shift: 패러다임 전환
2. maintained consistent rankings: 일관된 순위를 유지하다
3. noticeable and positive change : 눈에 띄는 긍정적 변화
4. the intake of students : 학생 수용량
5. preferred choice : 선호하는 선택.
The chart provided portrays the popularity of various undergraduate courses in UK higher education institutions for the years 2007 and 2014. The parameters used include the number of admissions for each course.
Observably, the intake of students in 2014 shows an increase when compared to 2007, with the smallest recorded number of admissions being 50,000, more than double the previous minimum number in 2007. Law was notably the most sought-after course among students in 2007, with approximately 85,000 admissions. But by 2014, there was a paradigm shift as Nursing became the preferred choice among the majority. Conversely, Computer Science appeared to hold steady as the least popular course across both years, with no significant increase or decrease in student admissions. This maintains a steady continuity for this subject in both years.
In comparison, both Psychology and Design courses showed a noticeable and positive change in popularity. Psychology remained the second most popular course in 2014 despite an increase of over 10,000 students while Design, in the fourth ranking position in both years, saw a growth of approximately 30,000 admissions over the 7 year period.
In conclusion, while some courses fluctuated in popularity between 2007 and 2014, others maintained consistent rankings in both years.
Word count: 212
Essay translated in Korean:
제공된 차트는 2007년과 2014년의 영국 고등 교육 기관에서 다양한 학부 과정의 인기도를 보여줍니다. 사용된 매개 변수는 각 과정에 대한 입학 수를 포함합니다.
옹긋봤을 때, 2014년의 학생 수용량이 2007년에 비해 증가하였으며 가장 적은 입학 수가 50,000명으로 2007년의 최소 수보다 두 배 이상이었습니다. 법은 2007년에 학생들 사이에서 가장 많이 찾는 과정이었으며 입학생은 대략 85,000명이었습니다. 하지만 2014년에는 대다수의 학생들이 선호하는 선택으로 간호가 패러다임을 전환했습니다. 반면, 컴퓨터 과학은 두 연도 동안 가장 인기가 없는 과정으로 보일 것이고 학생들의 입학 수가 별로 증가하지 않거나 감소하지 않은 채로 유지되었습니다. 이것은 두 해 동안 이 과목에 대한 안정적인 연속성을 유지합니다.
비교적으로, 심리학과 디자인 과정은 인기도에서 눈에 띄는 긍정적인 변화를 보였습니다. 심리학은 10,000명 이상의 학생 수가 증가했음에도 불구하고 2014년에 두 번째로 가장 인기 있는 과정이었으며, 디자인은 두 해 동안 네 번째 순위를 유지했지만 7년 동안 약 30,000명의 입학생이 늘었습니다.
결론적으로, 일부 과정은 2007년과 2014년 사이에 인기도가 변했지만 다른 과정은 두 해 동안 일관된 순위를 유지하였습니다.
Good expressions:
1. paradigm shift: 패러다임 전환
2. maintained consistent rankings: 일관된 순위를 유지하다
3. noticeable and positive change : 눈에 띄는 긍정적 변화
4. the intake of students : 학생 수용량
5. preferred choice : 선호하는 선택.
제출한 라이팅
This chart illustrates the most appealing courses by admission at Uk undergraduate school in 2007 and 2014.
Overall, we can notice that the total number of admissions have been increased in 2014 compared to 2007. While, In 2007, the lowest number apart from 0 was 20,000, It changed to 50,000. Again it is more than 2 fold.
First of all, in 2007, Law was the most popular course which accounted for 85000 approximately. However, reaching 2014, the trend switched. Nursing became the preference course for the majority of students. On the other hand, computer science shows a reverse trend with the law course. This course maintained the most unpopular trend in 2007 and 2014 both. Furthermore the figures of each year seem not changed. It shows a plateau level.
Looking at the psychology and design, its rankings haven’t changed. Psychology holds the second most popular course constantly and design ranked as fourth of both years. However, the figure of each course has increased in 2014. While Psychology commenced at 80,000, it reached slightly more than 10,000 in 2014. Design experienced an upward trend either. It grew to 100,000 approximately from 70,000.
Overall, we can notice that the total number of admissions have been increased in 2014 compared to 2007. While, In 2007, the lowest number apart from 0 was 20,000, It changed to 50,000. Again it is more than 2 fold.
First of all, in 2007, Law was the most popular course which accounted for 85000 approximately. However, reaching 2014, the trend switched. Nursing became the preference course for the majority of students. On the other hand, computer science shows a reverse trend with the law course. This course maintained the most unpopular trend in 2007 and 2014 both. Furthermore the figures of each year seem not changed. It shows a plateau level.
Looking at the psychology and design, its rankings haven’t changed. Psychology holds the second most popular course constantly and design ranked as fourth of both years. However, the figure of each course has increased in 2014. While Psychology commenced at 80,000, it reached slightly more than 10,000 in 2014. Design experienced an upward trend either. It grew to 100,000 approximately from 70,000.
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