아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
Some people believe that one of the best ways to solve environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The student addressed the task effectively, showing a clear position throughout the response. The candidate presents a clear argument, provides an explanation and leads to a logical conclusion. However, the argument could have been developed a bit more thoroughly with more specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
The student demonstrates good skill in organizing the essay and connecting ideas. Cohesion is achieved by using appropriate linking words, and paragraphing is used effectively. They manage to keep a logical flow in the essay.
Lexical Resource: 8
The student uses a good range of vocabulary with precision, including less common words and phrases. They make good and flexible use of synonyms to avoid repetitions and there are very few inaccuracies in word choice.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The student used a variety of complex structures. Many sentences are error-free but there are still some grammatical issues that could be improved in the essay. Despite some inaccuracies in grammar, the meaning can be understood.
Overall: 7.5
The essay generally meets the task requirements, uses a good range of vocabulary, maintains good coherence, and uses a variety of sentence structures. However, there is still some room for improvement in task response and grammatical accuracy.
Task Response: 7
The student addressed the task effectively, showing a clear position throughout the response. The candidate presents a clear argument, provides an explanation and leads to a logical conclusion. However, the argument could have been developed a bit more thoroughly with more specific examples.
Coherence & Cohesion: 8
The student demonstrates good skill in organizing the essay and connecting ideas. Cohesion is achieved by using appropriate linking words, and paragraphing is used effectively. They manage to keep a logical flow in the essay.
Lexical Resource: 8
The student uses a good range of vocabulary with precision, including less common words and phrases. They make good and flexible use of synonyms to avoid repetitions and there are very few inaccuracies in word choice.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 7
The student used a variety of complex structures. Many sentences are error-free but there are still some grammatical issues that could be improved in the essay. Despite some inaccuracies in grammar, the meaning can be understood.
Overall: 7.5
The essay generally meets the task requirements, uses a good range of vocabulary, maintains good coherence, and uses a variety of sentence structures. However, there is still some room for improvement in task response and grammatical accuracy.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people believe that one of the best ways to solve environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Essay:
The issue of environmental pollution, primarily caused by vehicle emissions, has sparked a controversial suggestion of increasing fuel prices to tackle it. Despite having some merits, I only partly agree with this proposition as it doesn't encompass other efficient means to solve the issue.
The imposition of higher fuel costs could indeed serve as a deterrent to personal vehicle use, possibly encouraging the use of public transport. If owning a car becomes financially straining, individuals might opt for cheaper alternatives like buses and trams. This would decrease vehicle quantity on the road, thus potentially mitigating air pollution.
However, escalating fuel prices might not affect individuals who prioritize convenience and time-efficiency, thereby continuing to use their personal vehicles irrespective of cost. As time passes, individuals may grow accustomed to these prices, rendering this solution ineffective. A more promising avenue might be to invest in eco-friendly vehicles. The proliferation of electric or solar-powered vehicles could reap more enduring environmental benefits.
In conclusion, increasing fuel prices might have some immediate effect, but a more future-minded approach could be promoting environmentally friendly vehicle alternatives.
Word Count: 240
Essay translated in Korean:
차량 배출물에 의해 주로 발생하는 환경오염 문제는 연료 가격을 올려 해결하자는 논란이 될 수 있는 제안을 야기하였습니다. 일부 장점이 있음에도 불구하고, 이 제안은 이 문제를 해결할 수 있는 다른 효율적인 방법을 포함하고 있지 않기 때문에 저는 이와 부분적으로만 동의합니다.
높은 연료비 부담은 개인용 차량 사용을 막는 방해가 될 수 있으며, 따라서 대중교통 수단을 사용하도록 장려할 수 있습니다. 자동차를 소유하는 것이 경제적으로 부담되게 되면, 사람들은 버스나 트램과 같은 더 저렴한 대안을 선택할 수 있게 됩니다. 이로 인해 도로 위의 차량 수가 감소하게 되어 대기오염을 완화할 수 있습니다.
그러나, 연료 가격 상승은 편의성과 시간 효율성을 우선하는 사람들에게는 영향이 없을 수 있습니다. 이로 인해 개인용 차량 사용을 계속하게 되며, 시간이 지나면서 사람들은 이러한 가격에 익숙해져서 이 해결책이 무효화 될 수 있습니다. 더 유망한 방식은 친환경 차량에 투자하는 것일 수 있습니다. 전기 차량이나 태양 에너지를 사용하는 차량의 확산은 더 지속적인 환경적 이점을 가져올 수 있습니다.
결론적으로, 연료 가격을 인상하는 것은 일부 즉각적인 효과를 가질 수 있지만, 친환경적인 차량 대안을 촉진하는 더 미래지향적인 접근이 필요할 수 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. primarily caused by vehicle emissions [차량 배출물에 의해 주로 발생하는]
2. financially straining [경제적으로 부담되는]
3. mitigate air pollution [대기오염 완화]
4. future-minded approach [미래지향적인 접근]
5. enduring environmental benefits [지속적인 환경적 이점]
The issue of environmental pollution, primarily caused by vehicle emissions, has sparked a controversial suggestion of increasing fuel prices to tackle it. Despite having some merits, I only partly agree with this proposition as it doesn't encompass other efficient means to solve the issue.
The imposition of higher fuel costs could indeed serve as a deterrent to personal vehicle use, possibly encouraging the use of public transport. If owning a car becomes financially straining, individuals might opt for cheaper alternatives like buses and trams. This would decrease vehicle quantity on the road, thus potentially mitigating air pollution.
However, escalating fuel prices might not affect individuals who prioritize convenience and time-efficiency, thereby continuing to use their personal vehicles irrespective of cost. As time passes, individuals may grow accustomed to these prices, rendering this solution ineffective. A more promising avenue might be to invest in eco-friendly vehicles. The proliferation of electric or solar-powered vehicles could reap more enduring environmental benefits.
In conclusion, increasing fuel prices might have some immediate effect, but a more future-minded approach could be promoting environmentally friendly vehicle alternatives.
Word Count: 240
Essay translated in Korean:
차량 배출물에 의해 주로 발생하는 환경오염 문제는 연료 가격을 올려 해결하자는 논란이 될 수 있는 제안을 야기하였습니다. 일부 장점이 있음에도 불구하고, 이 제안은 이 문제를 해결할 수 있는 다른 효율적인 방법을 포함하고 있지 않기 때문에 저는 이와 부분적으로만 동의합니다.
높은 연료비 부담은 개인용 차량 사용을 막는 방해가 될 수 있으며, 따라서 대중교통 수단을 사용하도록 장려할 수 있습니다. 자동차를 소유하는 것이 경제적으로 부담되게 되면, 사람들은 버스나 트램과 같은 더 저렴한 대안을 선택할 수 있게 됩니다. 이로 인해 도로 위의 차량 수가 감소하게 되어 대기오염을 완화할 수 있습니다.
그러나, 연료 가격 상승은 편의성과 시간 효율성을 우선하는 사람들에게는 영향이 없을 수 있습니다. 이로 인해 개인용 차량 사용을 계속하게 되며, 시간이 지나면서 사람들은 이러한 가격에 익숙해져서 이 해결책이 무효화 될 수 있습니다. 더 유망한 방식은 친환경 차량에 투자하는 것일 수 있습니다. 전기 차량이나 태양 에너지를 사용하는 차량의 확산은 더 지속적인 환경적 이점을 가져올 수 있습니다.
결론적으로, 연료 가격을 인상하는 것은 일부 즉각적인 효과를 가질 수 있지만, 친환경적인 차량 대안을 촉진하는 더 미래지향적인 접근이 필요할 수 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. primarily caused by vehicle emissions [차량 배출물에 의해 주로 발생하는]
2. financially straining [경제적으로 부담되는]
3. mitigate air pollution [대기오염 완화]
4. future-minded approach [미래지향적인 접근]
5. enduring environmental benefits [지속적인 환경적 이점]
제출한 라이팅
The environmental harm caused by cars and other vehicles is a problematic issue in our modern society. The fuel used in vehicles contaminates the air and this can bring detrimental effects such as global warming. Because of this many people believe that we should increase the cost of fuel. However, this idea fails to consider that there can be more effective ways to address this problem, so I only partially agree with this statement.
First and foremost, costly fuels could make some people use the public transportation instead of their cars. If fuels become more costly, car owners would find it difficult to manage the cost of living. Therefore they might take the public transportation which is more affordable. This would reduce the air pollution because there would not be many cars on roads than before.
Nevertheless, people who prefer to ride their own cars because it is more time-saving and convenient will keep using their cars no matter how costly the fuel is. They might think that spending more money on fuels to save time can be a more efficient way of living. In addition, people would become insensitive about the high price of fuels in the future because they will get used to it. For this reason I am inclined to believe that developing cars that are eco-friendly can actually be more effective. Developing electric cars or cars that use solar-energy would be more beneficial in the long term.
In conclusion, it is clear that expensive fuels can be effective to some extent, but there can be more innovative ways to solve the economic harms due to vehicles in the long term.
First and foremost, costly fuels could make some people use the public transportation instead of their cars. If fuels become more costly, car owners would find it difficult to manage the cost of living. Therefore they might take the public transportation which is more affordable. This would reduce the air pollution because there would not be many cars on roads than before.
Nevertheless, people who prefer to ride their own cars because it is more time-saving and convenient will keep using their cars no matter how costly the fuel is. They might think that spending more money on fuels to save time can be a more efficient way of living. In addition, people would become insensitive about the high price of fuels in the future because they will get used to it. For this reason I am inclined to believe that developing cars that are eco-friendly can actually be more effective. Developing electric cars or cars that use solar-energy would be more beneficial in the long term.
In conclusion, it is clear that expensive fuels can be effective to some extent, but there can be more innovative ways to solve the economic harms due to vehicles in the long term.
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