아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
Some people think the technology makes life complex, so we should make the life simpler without using the technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 6
The essay adequately addresses the question, presenting an argument both for the usefulness and drawbacks of technology. The writer takes a balanced stance and provides coherent arguments to support this position. However, the introduction does not clearly present the thesis of the essay, and the conclusion could be strengthened.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is well-organized, and the candidate uses paragraphing effectively. The ideas are logically sequenced, and there are clear cohesive links between most sentences. However, some sentences are overly long and sometimes confusing which affects the overall clarity of the message.
Lexical Resource: 6
The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, and the meaning is generally clear. However, some wordings are awkward or inappropriate ("pour cats and dogs", "wrapping everything around technology") and the misuse of certain idiomatic expressions detract from the overall impression of the language level.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 5
The writer demonstrates understanding of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are frequent punctuation, grammatical, and syntactical errors. It appears that some of these errors may be due to typing in haste or lack of proofreading.
Overall: 6
Overall, this essay demonstrates a satisfactory understanding of the task. The students' language capability is commendable, although further improvement in the areas of grammar and vocabulary accuracy is needed. The student also needs to work on creating a clearer thesis statement and summarizing key points in the conclusion more effectively.
Task Response: 6
The essay adequately addresses the question, presenting an argument both for the usefulness and drawbacks of technology. The writer takes a balanced stance and provides coherent arguments to support this position. However, the introduction does not clearly present the thesis of the essay, and the conclusion could be strengthened.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The essay is well-organized, and the candidate uses paragraphing effectively. The ideas are logically sequenced, and there are clear cohesive links between most sentences. However, some sentences are overly long and sometimes confusing which affects the overall clarity of the message.
Lexical Resource: 6
The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, and the meaning is generally clear. However, some wordings are awkward or inappropriate ("pour cats and dogs", "wrapping everything around technology") and the misuse of certain idiomatic expressions detract from the overall impression of the language level.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 5
The writer demonstrates understanding of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are frequent punctuation, grammatical, and syntactical errors. It appears that some of these errors may be due to typing in haste or lack of proofreading.
Overall: 6
Overall, this essay demonstrates a satisfactory understanding of the task. The students' language capability is commendable, although further improvement in the areas of grammar and vocabulary accuracy is needed. The student also needs to work on creating a clearer thesis statement and summarizing key points in the conclusion more effectively.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Some people think the technology makes life complex, so we should make the life simpler without using the technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Essay:
In today's fast-paced world, technology has undoubtedly seeped into every aspect of our lives, a reality which elicits a multitude of viewpoints. I believe that while technology has immensely simplified many facets of our existence, its excessive usage also complicates life by shifting focus away from human connection.
With the advent of technology, the world has witnessed unprecedented advancements. Our daily life is enveloped in technological aspects - the initial part of the day starts with us consulting our smartphones for weather updates, employing GPS for locomotion, or turning to the internet for a multitude of purposes from restaurant recommendations to real-time information on varied subjects. The ability to translate complex languages is an example that epitomizes the simplicity that technology brings to our lives.
On the other side of the coin, technology’s extensive usage is also leading to an erosion of human interaction as people prefer virtual experiences over physical ones. Children, for instance, are fixated on their gadgets, forgoing the quintessential physical activities of their age. Many people's reliance on GPS to locate even nearby stores is an indication of how technology can perplex life by diminishing human capabilities.
In conclusion, while technology plays an undeniable role in simplifying our lives to an extent, it can also lead to complications when its usage becomes excessive. The key lies in creating a mindful balance between embracing technology and retaining human connections.
Word count: 251
Essay translated in Korean:
오늘날의 분주한 세상에서 기술은 의심할 여지 없이 우리 생활의 모든 면에 스며들어, 다양한 견해를 불러일으키고 있습니다. 저는 기술이 우리 생활의 많은 면을 대단히 단순화시키는 한편, 그 과도한 사용은 인간간의 연결에서 주목을 이동시켜 생활을 복잡하게 만든다고 믿습니다.
기술의 출현으로 인해 세상은 전례 없는 발전을 목격했습니다. 우리의 일상생활은 기술적 측면에 포장되어있습니다 - 하루의 시작부터 스마트폰으로 날씨 업데이트를 확인하고, GPS를 이용하여 이동하거나, 식당 추천부터 다양한 주제에 대한 실시간 정보 제공에 이르기까지 인터넷을 이용한다는 사실이 그 예입니다. 복잡한 언어를 번역할 수 있는 능력은 기술이 우리 생활에 가져다주는 간편함을 대표하는 예시입니다.
반면에, 기술의 대량 사용은 사람들이 물리적인 경험보다 가상 경험을 선호함으로써 인간 상호작용이 훼손되고 있음을 보여줍니다. 예를 들어, 아이들은 그들의 기기에 집착하고 있으며, 그들의 연령에 필수적인 신체 활동을 방기하고 있습니다. 많은 사람들이 근처 상점의 위치조차 GPS에 의존하는 것은 기술이 인간 능력을 약화시킴으로써 생활을 어렵게 만들 수 있는 방법을 나타냅니다.
결론적으로, 기술이 우리 생활을 어느 정도 단순화하는 데에 부인할 수 없는 역할을 하는 동안, 그 사용이 과도해지면 복잡성도 초래할 수 있습니다. 핵심은 기술을 수용하고 인간 연결을 유지하는 사이에 신중한 균형을 만드는 것에 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. seeped into every aspect - 모든 면에 스며들다.
2. unprecedented advancements - 전례 없는 발전.
3. enveloped in technological aspects - 기술적 측면에 포장되어 있다.
4. erosion of human interaction - 인간 상호작용의 훼손.
5. mindful balance - 신중한 균형.
In today's fast-paced world, technology has undoubtedly seeped into every aspect of our lives, a reality which elicits a multitude of viewpoints. I believe that while technology has immensely simplified many facets of our existence, its excessive usage also complicates life by shifting focus away from human connection.
With the advent of technology, the world has witnessed unprecedented advancements. Our daily life is enveloped in technological aspects - the initial part of the day starts with us consulting our smartphones for weather updates, employing GPS for locomotion, or turning to the internet for a multitude of purposes from restaurant recommendations to real-time information on varied subjects. The ability to translate complex languages is an example that epitomizes the simplicity that technology brings to our lives.
On the other side of the coin, technology’s extensive usage is also leading to an erosion of human interaction as people prefer virtual experiences over physical ones. Children, for instance, are fixated on their gadgets, forgoing the quintessential physical activities of their age. Many people's reliance on GPS to locate even nearby stores is an indication of how technology can perplex life by diminishing human capabilities.
In conclusion, while technology plays an undeniable role in simplifying our lives to an extent, it can also lead to complications when its usage becomes excessive. The key lies in creating a mindful balance between embracing technology and retaining human connections.
Word count: 251
Essay translated in Korean:
오늘날의 분주한 세상에서 기술은 의심할 여지 없이 우리 생활의 모든 면에 스며들어, 다양한 견해를 불러일으키고 있습니다. 저는 기술이 우리 생활의 많은 면을 대단히 단순화시키는 한편, 그 과도한 사용은 인간간의 연결에서 주목을 이동시켜 생활을 복잡하게 만든다고 믿습니다.
기술의 출현으로 인해 세상은 전례 없는 발전을 목격했습니다. 우리의 일상생활은 기술적 측면에 포장되어있습니다 - 하루의 시작부터 스마트폰으로 날씨 업데이트를 확인하고, GPS를 이용하여 이동하거나, 식당 추천부터 다양한 주제에 대한 실시간 정보 제공에 이르기까지 인터넷을 이용한다는 사실이 그 예입니다. 복잡한 언어를 번역할 수 있는 능력은 기술이 우리 생활에 가져다주는 간편함을 대표하는 예시입니다.
반면에, 기술의 대량 사용은 사람들이 물리적인 경험보다 가상 경험을 선호함으로써 인간 상호작용이 훼손되고 있음을 보여줍니다. 예를 들어, 아이들은 그들의 기기에 집착하고 있으며, 그들의 연령에 필수적인 신체 활동을 방기하고 있습니다. 많은 사람들이 근처 상점의 위치조차 GPS에 의존하는 것은 기술이 인간 능력을 약화시킴으로써 생활을 어렵게 만들 수 있는 방법을 나타냅니다.
결론적으로, 기술이 우리 생활을 어느 정도 단순화하는 데에 부인할 수 없는 역할을 하는 동안, 그 사용이 과도해지면 복잡성도 초래할 수 있습니다. 핵심은 기술을 수용하고 인간 연결을 유지하는 사이에 신중한 균형을 만드는 것에 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. seeped into every aspect - 모든 면에 스며들다.
2. unprecedented advancements - 전례 없는 발전.
3. enveloped in technological aspects - 기술적 측면에 포장되어 있다.
4. erosion of human interaction - 인간 상호작용의 훼손.
5. mindful balance - 신중한 균형.
제출한 라이팅
Technology today has become a major part of our life without it there is not a minute of the day which can be spent other than the time you are sleeping, although, the over usage of technology is making people's life very complex and hard to go around. Each of these has its own advantages and their disadvantages which I will illustrate separately and then give my point of view.
Firstly, without technology nothing goes around in the world today.Each and everything today is wrapped around technology such as, from starting of our day when we wake up we check our mobile phones about the weather whether if it is going to pour cats and dogs or else if it going to be very sunny, then we use GPS to travel from one location to another known or unknown places without it we all will be lost. The internet helps us out in every way from suggesting to us the best movies and restaurants around us to giving us up to date information on any topic which we are interested in any other topics. It even helps us to translate manuscripts and languages from native sources to the ones which we can understand.
Secondly, the over usage of technology has made people forget to have a human bond and connection with others, folk are more interested in watching videos of places than going out and check out the places. For instance, even kids these days have their own personal mobile phones, mac books. Children are not getting enough physical exercise and are sticking their faces inside the gadgets and are becoming couch potatoes. People can't even find the location of nearby stores without the help of GPS.
In conclusion , I reiterate, that without the use of technology we all will be lost nevertheless, we will also be lost without human connection and bonding directly rather than through social media. Everyone should have their own limits and their own rules about how long should they allocate the time for usage of gadgets and have a real bond and to go out play, take a hike, trek
Firstly, without technology nothing goes around in the world today.Each and everything today is wrapped around technology such as, from starting of our day when we wake up we check our mobile phones about the weather whether if it is going to pour cats and dogs or else if it going to be very sunny, then we use GPS to travel from one location to another known or unknown places without it we all will be lost. The internet helps us out in every way from suggesting to us the best movies and restaurants around us to giving us up to date information on any topic which we are interested in any other topics. It even helps us to translate manuscripts and languages from native sources to the ones which we can understand.
Secondly, the over usage of technology has made people forget to have a human bond and connection with others, folk are more interested in watching videos of places than going out and check out the places. For instance, even kids these days have their own personal mobile phones, mac books. Children are not getting enough physical exercise and are sticking their faces inside the gadgets and are becoming couch potatoes. People can't even find the location of nearby stores without the help of GPS.
In conclusion , I reiterate, that without the use of technology we all will be lost nevertheless, we will also be lost without human connection and bonding directly rather than through social media. Everyone should have their own limits and their own rules about how long should they allocate the time for usage of gadgets and have a real bond and to go out play, take a hike, trek
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