아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Opinion
When it comes to architectural design, some argue that functionality should be more important than aesthetics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7]
The essay addressed the prompt well, giving reasons for prioritizing functionality in architecture. The conclusion also deflects from the prompt but manages to remain on topic by recognizing the importance of aesthetics in building design.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay demonstrated a logical progression of ideas and cohesion. However, some arguments were hard to follow due to vague expressions and a lack of specific examples. Also, there are several incoherent sentences that can be confusing for the reader.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The vocabulary is varied and some less common terms are used. However, in an attempt to sound academic, the author has used terminology (like "enigmatic quandary") inappropriately at times.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
Grammar in the essay is generally accurate but there are occasional punctuation errors and sentence fragments. Some of the sentences require better structuring, and the student needs to work on the use of articles.
Overall: [6.5]
The student shows good understanding and has attempted to use a broad lexical and grammatical range. However, they should focus more on the clarity of their arguments and accurate use of complex vocabulary and grammar.
Task Response: [7]
The essay addressed the prompt well, giving reasons for prioritizing functionality in architecture. The conclusion also deflects from the prompt but manages to remain on topic by recognizing the importance of aesthetics in building design.
Coherence & Cohesion: [6]
The essay demonstrated a logical progression of ideas and cohesion. However, some arguments were hard to follow due to vague expressions and a lack of specific examples. Also, there are several incoherent sentences that can be confusing for the reader.
Lexical Resource: [7]
The vocabulary is varied and some less common terms are used. However, in an attempt to sound academic, the author has used terminology (like "enigmatic quandary") inappropriately at times.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [6]
Grammar in the essay is generally accurate but there are occasional punctuation errors and sentence fragments. Some of the sentences require better structuring, and the student needs to work on the use of articles.
Overall: [6.5]
The student shows good understanding and has attempted to use a broad lexical and grammatical range. However, they should focus more on the clarity of their arguments and accurate use of complex vocabulary and grammar.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
When it comes to architectural design, some argue that functionality should be more important than aesthetics. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Essay:
The aspect of architectural design is a topic stirring up much debate, particularly when it comes to determining the priority of functionality over aesthetics. In my opinion, while aesthetics carry significant weight, I firmly believe that functionality reigns supreme.
One pertinent argument supporting functionality as being paramount is the critical necessity of safety in construction. In the face of increasing instances of natural disasters such as earthquakes and tsunamis, there is an amplified demand for fortified buildings that can offer secure environments for residents. The need for safety-centric construction has birthed innovative architectural materials and building methods, remarkably enhancing their durability and robustness.
Furthermore, the rapid progression of our modern lifestyle necessitates the incorporation of enhanced facilities within the buildings themselves. A shift in preferences, propelled by the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic, means that individuals are now more inclined towards having recreational facilities like fitness centers and cinemas within their residential structures. This helps eliminate the need for venturing outside, satisfying the contemporary wish for indoor living and convenience.
That being said, I am of the considered belief that a judicious balance between functionality and aesthetics leads to an optimal architecture design. Buildings that are functionally sound, yet aesthetically pleasing, cater efficiently to our evolving lifestyle needs. Conclusively, the simultaneous adherence to both facets of design should be embraced.
Word count: 260
Essay translated in Korean:
건축 디자인의 측면은 기능성과 미학 중 어떤 것이 우선 순위를 차지하는지 결정할 때 특히 논란의 여지가 많은 주제입니다. 제 생각에는, 미학이 중요한 가중치를 가지고 있지만, 기능성이 최우선이라고 확신합니다.
기능성이 지배적인 이유를 뒷받침하는 한 가지 주요한 논거는 건설에서 안전이 중요하다는 비판적인 필요성입니다. 지진과 쓰나미와 같은 자연 재해의 증가로, 거주민들에게 안전한 환경을 제공할 수 있는 강화된 건물에 대한 수요가 증가하고 있습니다. 이러한 안전 중심의 건축에는 혁신적인 건축 자재와 건축 방법이 탄생하여 내구성과 견고함을 뛰어나게 했습니다.
게다가, 현대 생활의 빠른 진전은 건물 내부에 향상된 시설을 포함하도록 요구합니다. 코로나19 팬데믹의 도래로 인해, 개인은 이제 피트니스 센터나 영화관과 같은 편의 시설이 거주 구조 내에 있는 것을 선호하게 되어, 실내 생활과 편의를 위해 외부로 나가는 필요성을 제거하는데 도움이 됩니다.
그럼에도 불구하고, 제 생각에는 기능성과 미학 사이의 현명한 균형이 최적의 건축 디자인으로 이어집니다. 기능적으로 완전하면서도 미적으로 매력적인 건물들은 우리의 변화하는 생활 스타일 요구에 효과적으로 대응할 수 있습니다. 결국, 디자인의 두 측면에 동시에 부합하려는 것이 품절해야 합니다.
Good expressions:
1. stirring up much debate - 많은 논란을 불러일으키다
2. reigns supreme - 최고다
3. amplified demand - 증폭된 수요
4. judicious balance - 현명한 균형
5. cater efficiently - 효과적으로 대응하다
6. simultaneous adherence - 동시적인 고수
7. be embraced - 받아들여져야 한다.
The aspect of architectural design is a topic stirring up much debate, particularly when it comes to determining the priority of functionality over aesthetics. In my opinion, while aesthetics carry significant weight, I firmly believe that functionality reigns supreme.
One pertinent argument supporting functionality as being paramount is the critical necessity of safety in construction. In the face of increasing instances of natural disasters such as earthquakes and tsunamis, there is an amplified demand for fortified buildings that can offer secure environments for residents. The need for safety-centric construction has birthed innovative architectural materials and building methods, remarkably enhancing their durability and robustness.
Furthermore, the rapid progression of our modern lifestyle necessitates the incorporation of enhanced facilities within the buildings themselves. A shift in preferences, propelled by the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic, means that individuals are now more inclined towards having recreational facilities like fitness centers and cinemas within their residential structures. This helps eliminate the need for venturing outside, satisfying the contemporary wish for indoor living and convenience.
That being said, I am of the considered belief that a judicious balance between functionality and aesthetics leads to an optimal architecture design. Buildings that are functionally sound, yet aesthetically pleasing, cater efficiently to our evolving lifestyle needs. Conclusively, the simultaneous adherence to both facets of design should be embraced.
Word count: 260
Essay translated in Korean:
건축 디자인의 측면은 기능성과 미학 중 어떤 것이 우선 순위를 차지하는지 결정할 때 특히 논란의 여지가 많은 주제입니다. 제 생각에는, 미학이 중요한 가중치를 가지고 있지만, 기능성이 최우선이라고 확신합니다.
기능성이 지배적인 이유를 뒷받침하는 한 가지 주요한 논거는 건설에서 안전이 중요하다는 비판적인 필요성입니다. 지진과 쓰나미와 같은 자연 재해의 증가로, 거주민들에게 안전한 환경을 제공할 수 있는 강화된 건물에 대한 수요가 증가하고 있습니다. 이러한 안전 중심의 건축에는 혁신적인 건축 자재와 건축 방법이 탄생하여 내구성과 견고함을 뛰어나게 했습니다.
게다가, 현대 생활의 빠른 진전은 건물 내부에 향상된 시설을 포함하도록 요구합니다. 코로나19 팬데믹의 도래로 인해, 개인은 이제 피트니스 센터나 영화관과 같은 편의 시설이 거주 구조 내에 있는 것을 선호하게 되어, 실내 생활과 편의를 위해 외부로 나가는 필요성을 제거하는데 도움이 됩니다.
그럼에도 불구하고, 제 생각에는 기능성과 미학 사이의 현명한 균형이 최적의 건축 디자인으로 이어집니다. 기능적으로 완전하면서도 미적으로 매력적인 건물들은 우리의 변화하는 생활 스타일 요구에 효과적으로 대응할 수 있습니다. 결국, 디자인의 두 측면에 동시에 부합하려는 것이 품절해야 합니다.
Good expressions:
1. stirring up much debate - 많은 논란을 불러일으키다
2. reigns supreme - 최고다
3. amplified demand - 증폭된 수요
4. judicious balance - 현명한 균형
5. cater efficiently - 효과적으로 대응하다
6. simultaneous adherence - 동시적인 고수
7. be embraced - 받아들여져야 한다.
제출한 라이팅
It has been an enigmatic quandary when it comes to architectural design, some people say that functionality should be more crucial than aesthetics. Nowadays, it is true that functionality is more important rather than design. while history and literature provide us with numerous examples, the scope and breadth of a pinpoint of function abilities are paragons that reverberate such them.
Firstly, In modern societies where many developed buildings are constructed, more and more individuals prefer to live in safe places. Nowadays, a range of natural disasters, including earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions have been threatening human lives. Therefore, people tend to protect themselves safely. These trends led to changes in building architecture materials are much more durable than a decade ago, and building methods have become safer.
Secondly, the development of not only architectural methods but also convenient facilities such as fitness centers, movie cinemas, and swimming pools have been improved to satisfy residents' belief that they do not go outside to get something. With the advent of the COVID pandemic, modern individuals have not been preferable to go outside. more and more people prefer to conclude everything in their lived building.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that both functionality and aesthetics are crucial elements in architectural design. Buildings should be designed to fulfill their functional requirements while also being visually pleasing. The integration of functionality and aesthetics can result in buildings that are not only practical but also aesthetically appealing. Therefore, it is essential to give equal importance to both aspects when designing buildings.
Firstly, In modern societies where many developed buildings are constructed, more and more individuals prefer to live in safe places. Nowadays, a range of natural disasters, including earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions have been threatening human lives. Therefore, people tend to protect themselves safely. These trends led to changes in building architecture materials are much more durable than a decade ago, and building methods have become safer.
Secondly, the development of not only architectural methods but also convenient facilities such as fitness centers, movie cinemas, and swimming pools have been improved to satisfy residents' belief that they do not go outside to get something. With the advent of the COVID pandemic, modern individuals have not been preferable to go outside. more and more people prefer to conclude everything in their lived building.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that both functionality and aesthetics are crucial elements in architectural design. Buildings should be designed to fulfill their functional requirements while also being visually pleasing. The integration of functionality and aesthetics can result in buildings that are not only practical but also aesthetically appealing. Therefore, it is essential to give equal importance to both aspects when designing buildings.
공유
목록으로 돌아가기 😎
