아이엘츠 라이팅 AI 첨삭
- Discussion
Many companies offer their employees the opportunity to work from home. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home for the company. And give your own opinion.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [7.5] The student responds to the question in a clear way, creating a strong argument for and against working from home. There could be more development of these ideas, but overall the task is completed well.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7] The essay flows well overall and each paragraph is linked to the others. However, there are some sentences that could be better connected and smoothed out.
Lexical Resource: [8] The student has a strong vocabulary and uses synonyms effectively. They could improve by using more complex vocabulary and expressions.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7] The student displays a good command of grammar and sentence structure with only minor mistakes. However, they could improve by using more varied and complex sentence structures.
Overall: [7.4] This essay demonstrates a good understanding and execution of the task, with a clear argument and reasonable use of English. The student could improve by developing their ideas more deeply, using more complex vocabulary and sentence structures, and smoothing out the flow of their writing.
Task Response: [7.5] The student responds to the question in a clear way, creating a strong argument for and against working from home. There could be more development of these ideas, but overall the task is completed well.
Coherence & Cohesion: [7] The essay flows well overall and each paragraph is linked to the others. However, there are some sentences that could be better connected and smoothed out.
Lexical Resource: [8] The student has a strong vocabulary and uses synonyms effectively. They could improve by using more complex vocabulary and expressions.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [7] The student displays a good command of grammar and sentence structure with only minor mistakes. However, they could improve by using more varied and complex sentence structures.
Overall: [7.4] This essay demonstrates a good understanding and execution of the task, with a clear argument and reasonable use of English. The student could improve by developing their ideas more deeply, using more complex vocabulary and sentence structures, and smoothing out the flow of their writing.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Many companies offer their employees the opportunity to work from home.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home for the company.
And give your own opinion.
Essay:
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, an increasing number of companies have transitioned to a remote work setup for their employees. The global crisis has fueled contrasting views, with some stating disadvantages for companies and others emphasizing its potential benefits. Personally, I believe the perks for businesses from this growing trend outweigh the drawbacks.
Critics argue that remote work may lead to decreased motivation among employees, primarily due to the lack of a professionally stimulating environment. Office spaces are typically designed to foster collaboration, competition, and focus, contributing to the efficient realization of company goals. It is uncertain whether employees can maintain similar productivity levels when positioned outside of this conducive setting. To illustrate, my personal experience of trying to study at home in comparison to a dedicated space such as a library or school, was significantly less effective due to the absence of motivational stimuli.
Conversely, the practice of working from home can empower staff members with enhanced time management capabilities. In the modern era, the necessity for physical office spaces has begun to wane. Companies like Google, for instance, bestow employees with flexible work hours and the liberty to work from any location within their premises. These hourly fluidity and location independence can easily be accommodated at home. Therefore, the need for employees to commute to offices can be eliminated, and the extra time utilized more productively.
In conclusion, while remote work has its own set of challenges, the strategic benefits it can offer businesses far exceed these hindrances.
Word count: 267.
Essay translated in Korean:
코로나19 대유행 이후로 점점 더 많은 회사가 직원들에게 원격근무를 가능케하고 있다. 이 전세계적인 위기는 회사들에게 미치는 부정적인 영향에 대한 논조와 다른 사람들이 강조하는 잠재적인 이점 사이에서 상충하고 있다. 개인적으로, 저는 이런 추세가 기업에게 가져다주는 장점이 단점을 뛰어넘는다고 생각합니다.
Good expressions:
1. In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic - 코로나 19 대유행 이후로
2. strategically beneficial - 전략적으로 이롭다
3. accommodate at home - 집에서 수용하다
4. enhanced time management capabilities - 강화된 시간 관리 능력
5. a conducive setting - 유리한 환경
6. critics argue - 비평가들은 주장한다
7. outweigh the drawbacks - 단점을 뛰어넘다
8. efficiently realize company goals - 회사의 목표를 효율적으로 실현하다
9. personal experience - 개인적 경험
10. motivational stimuli - 동기 부여자극.
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, an increasing number of companies have transitioned to a remote work setup for their employees. The global crisis has fueled contrasting views, with some stating disadvantages for companies and others emphasizing its potential benefits. Personally, I believe the perks for businesses from this growing trend outweigh the drawbacks.
Critics argue that remote work may lead to decreased motivation among employees, primarily due to the lack of a professionally stimulating environment. Office spaces are typically designed to foster collaboration, competition, and focus, contributing to the efficient realization of company goals. It is uncertain whether employees can maintain similar productivity levels when positioned outside of this conducive setting. To illustrate, my personal experience of trying to study at home in comparison to a dedicated space such as a library or school, was significantly less effective due to the absence of motivational stimuli.
Conversely, the practice of working from home can empower staff members with enhanced time management capabilities. In the modern era, the necessity for physical office spaces has begun to wane. Companies like Google, for instance, bestow employees with flexible work hours and the liberty to work from any location within their premises. These hourly fluidity and location independence can easily be accommodated at home. Therefore, the need for employees to commute to offices can be eliminated, and the extra time utilized more productively.
In conclusion, while remote work has its own set of challenges, the strategic benefits it can offer businesses far exceed these hindrances.
Word count: 267.
Essay translated in Korean:
코로나19 대유행 이후로 점점 더 많은 회사가 직원들에게 원격근무를 가능케하고 있다. 이 전세계적인 위기는 회사들에게 미치는 부정적인 영향에 대한 논조와 다른 사람들이 강조하는 잠재적인 이점 사이에서 상충하고 있다. 개인적으로, 저는 이런 추세가 기업에게 가져다주는 장점이 단점을 뛰어넘는다고 생각합니다.
Good expressions:
1. In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic - 코로나 19 대유행 이후로
2. strategically beneficial - 전략적으로 이롭다
3. accommodate at home - 집에서 수용하다
4. enhanced time management capabilities - 강화된 시간 관리 능력
5. a conducive setting - 유리한 환경
6. critics argue - 비평가들은 주장한다
7. outweigh the drawbacks - 단점을 뛰어넘다
8. efficiently realize company goals - 회사의 목표를 효율적으로 실현하다
9. personal experience - 개인적 경험
10. motivational stimuli - 동기 부여자극.
제출한 라이팅
During and after the COVID pandemic, a large number of companies made workers work at home. Some people think that this discouraged employers and therefore had negative impacts on companies while others highlighted the advantages of doing jobs from home. In my opinion, the benefits this new trend of working has brought to companies are greater than loss. This essay will evaluate both sides of virtual working.
Some argue that working individually at home discourages employer's will to work because of the environment they are working. Companies are designed to allow co-workers to work collaboratively with an adequate amount of anxiety and competition to efficiently achieve the goals of the companies. Therefore, when workers are not in this specific environment, it is unsure whether they can perform well or not in other places. For me, it was hard to focus on studying at home compared to a library or a school, where many people compete and study at the same time because there were no means that motivate me to study.
On the other hand, it can also be said that working from house lets workers allocate time more efficiently. As time goes by, the purpose of using a company's building is disappearing. For instance, colleagues at Google work wherever they want to in the building, and their working hours are not fixed, but flexible. These can be carried out at home as well. Therefore, workers do not necessarily have to go to the main building of companies. Rather, they can use commuting time to do jobs that are helpful for companies.
To sum up, the new way of working - virtual working, both have good and bad aspects. Nonetheless, I think that the positive impacts that companies can expect is much greater than the disadvantages.
Some argue that working individually at home discourages employer's will to work because of the environment they are working. Companies are designed to allow co-workers to work collaboratively with an adequate amount of anxiety and competition to efficiently achieve the goals of the companies. Therefore, when workers are not in this specific environment, it is unsure whether they can perform well or not in other places. For me, it was hard to focus on studying at home compared to a library or a school, where many people compete and study at the same time because there were no means that motivate me to study.
On the other hand, it can also be said that working from house lets workers allocate time more efficiently. As time goes by, the purpose of using a company's building is disappearing. For instance, colleagues at Google work wherever they want to in the building, and their working hours are not fixed, but flexible. These can be carried out at home as well. Therefore, workers do not necessarily have to go to the main building of companies. Rather, they can use commuting time to do jobs that are helpful for companies.
To sum up, the new way of working - virtual working, both have good and bad aspects. Nonetheless, I think that the positive impacts that companies can expect is much greater than the disadvantages.
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