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The chart below shows the percentage of males and females who regularly participate in sport on a weekly basis. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150 words
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: 7
The essay clearly illustrates the differences between male and female participation in different sports, satisfying the prompt requirements. The student also makes comparisons where necessary, but there's a lack of deeper insight or analysis in the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The paragraphs are logically ordered, and ideas are clearly connected. However, more cohesive devices could be used for a better flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student uses a mix of simple and complex language accurately; however, the vocabulary range could be broadened, with more varied and engaging language utilised.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The grammar used is generally good, with a range of sentence structures used accurately. However there is a small number of errors, such as "the percentage of men is 6-fold of women’s participation," which could have been accurately put as "the percentage of men's participation is only a sixth of women's".
Overall: 6.5
The essay generally satisfies the requirement of the task with logical and clear points, although the depth of discussion and the range of vocabulary could be improved. Grammatical errors need to be reduced.
Task Response: 7
The essay clearly illustrates the differences between male and female participation in different sports, satisfying the prompt requirements. The student also makes comparisons where necessary, but there's a lack of deeper insight or analysis in the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion: 7
The paragraphs are logically ordered, and ideas are clearly connected. However, more cohesive devices could be used for a better flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource: 6
The student uses a mix of simple and complex language accurately; however, the vocabulary range could be broadened, with more varied and engaging language utilised.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: 6
The grammar used is generally good, with a range of sentence structures used accurately. However there is a small number of errors, such as "the percentage of men is 6-fold of women’s participation," which could have been accurately put as "the percentage of men's participation is only a sixth of women's".
Overall: 6.5
The essay generally satisfies the requirement of the task with logical and clear points, although the depth of discussion and the range of vocabulary could be improved. Grammatical errors need to be reduced.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
The chart below shows the percentage of males and females who regularly participate in sport on a weekly basis.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150 words
Essay:
The graph under consideration provides data about the participation rates of men and women in different sports on a weekly basis. The x-axis denotes various sports, while percentages of participants are encapsulated on the y-axis.
Delving into the specifics, Tennis is observed to be the solitary sport with almost balanced preferences among males and females; with a slight female dominance of just over 30%. On the other hand, group sports exhibit the greatest disparity between genders. In this category, women overwhelmingly outnumber men with approximately a 65% participation rate as opposed to a meagre under 10% male participation, a staggering six times lesser ratio.
Similarly, Football and Cycling reflect considerable gaps in participation rates between males and females. In Football, nearly 70% of participation is made up by men, contrasting with just around 30% of female participants. The trend in Cycling is analogous with the male participation doubling that of the females. Interestingly, Swimming reverses the male-dominance trend, proven popular with females as roughly 40%, double that of the male participants, engage in this sport. Jogging follows a similar trail with women oddly less intrigued in this activity than men.
In summary, majority of sports portrayed in the graph are more popular among males, with a few exceptions like tennis and swimming where females lead the participation percentages.
Word count: 250
Essay translated in Korean:
고려하고있는 그래프는 주간 기준으로 다른 종목에서 남성과 여성의 참여율에 대한 데이터를 제공합니다. X 축은 다양한 운동을 나타내며, 참가자의 비율은 y 축에 포함되어 있습니다.
세부 사항을 살펴보면, 테니스는 남성과 여성 사이에서 거의 균형이 잡힌 선호도를 가진 유일한 스포츠로 관찰되며, 여성의 독점은 약간만 30% 이상입니다. 반면, 그룹 스포츠는 성별 간에 가장 큰 차이를 보입니다. 이 카테고리에서 여성은 대략 65%의 참여율로 남성을 압도적으로 앞선 반면, 남성 참여는 미미한 10% 미만이라는 놀라운 6 배 더 낮은 비율입니다.
마찬가지로, 축구와 사이클링은 남성과 여성 사이의 참여율에서 상당한 차이를 보여줍니다. 축구에서는 남성이 대략 70%의 참여를 이루는 반면, 여성 참가자는 대략 30%에 불과합니다. 사이클링의 추세는 남성 참여가 여성의 참여를 두 배로하는 것과 유사합니다. 흥미롭게도, 수영은 남성이 선호하는 추세를 뒤집어, 대략 40%, 남성 참여자의 두 배가 이 스포츠에 참여함으로써 여성에게 인기가 있음을 입증합니다. 조깅은 여성이 남자들보다이 활동에 덜 흥미있는 비슷한 트레일을 따릅니다.
결론적으로, 그래프에 표시된 대부분의 스포츠는 남성들 사이에서 더 인기가 있으며, 여성이 참여 비율을 이끄는 테니스와 수영처럼 몇 가지 예외가 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. Delving into the specifics - 세부 사항을 살펴보면,
2. Staggering six times lesser ratio - 놀라운 6 배 더 낮은 비율
3. Engage in this sport - 이 스포츠에 참여합니다.
4. Portrayed in the graph - 그래프에 표시된
The graph under consideration provides data about the participation rates of men and women in different sports on a weekly basis. The x-axis denotes various sports, while percentages of participants are encapsulated on the y-axis.
Delving into the specifics, Tennis is observed to be the solitary sport with almost balanced preferences among males and females; with a slight female dominance of just over 30%. On the other hand, group sports exhibit the greatest disparity between genders. In this category, women overwhelmingly outnumber men with approximately a 65% participation rate as opposed to a meagre under 10% male participation, a staggering six times lesser ratio.
Similarly, Football and Cycling reflect considerable gaps in participation rates between males and females. In Football, nearly 70% of participation is made up by men, contrasting with just around 30% of female participants. The trend in Cycling is analogous with the male participation doubling that of the females. Interestingly, Swimming reverses the male-dominance trend, proven popular with females as roughly 40%, double that of the male participants, engage in this sport. Jogging follows a similar trail with women oddly less intrigued in this activity than men.
In summary, majority of sports portrayed in the graph are more popular among males, with a few exceptions like tennis and swimming where females lead the participation percentages.
Word count: 250
Essay translated in Korean:
고려하고있는 그래프는 주간 기준으로 다른 종목에서 남성과 여성의 참여율에 대한 데이터를 제공합니다. X 축은 다양한 운동을 나타내며, 참가자의 비율은 y 축에 포함되어 있습니다.
세부 사항을 살펴보면, 테니스는 남성과 여성 사이에서 거의 균형이 잡힌 선호도를 가진 유일한 스포츠로 관찰되며, 여성의 독점은 약간만 30% 이상입니다. 반면, 그룹 스포츠는 성별 간에 가장 큰 차이를 보입니다. 이 카테고리에서 여성은 대략 65%의 참여율로 남성을 압도적으로 앞선 반면, 남성 참여는 미미한 10% 미만이라는 놀라운 6 배 더 낮은 비율입니다.
마찬가지로, 축구와 사이클링은 남성과 여성 사이의 참여율에서 상당한 차이를 보여줍니다. 축구에서는 남성이 대략 70%의 참여를 이루는 반면, 여성 참가자는 대략 30%에 불과합니다. 사이클링의 추세는 남성 참여가 여성의 참여를 두 배로하는 것과 유사합니다. 흥미롭게도, 수영은 남성이 선호하는 추세를 뒤집어, 대략 40%, 남성 참여자의 두 배가 이 스포츠에 참여함으로써 여성에게 인기가 있음을 입증합니다. 조깅은 여성이 남자들보다이 활동에 덜 흥미있는 비슷한 트레일을 따릅니다.
결론적으로, 그래프에 표시된 대부분의 스포츠는 남성들 사이에서 더 인기가 있으며, 여성이 참여 비율을 이끄는 테니스와 수영처럼 몇 가지 예외가 있습니다.
Good expressions:
1. Delving into the specifics - 세부 사항을 살펴보면,
2. Staggering six times lesser ratio - 놀라운 6 배 더 낮은 비율
3. Engage in this sport - 이 스포츠에 참여합니다.
4. Portrayed in the graph - 그래프에 표시된
제출한 라이팅
This chart illustrates the percentages of males and females who regularly participate in sports weekly. The horizontal axis represents a subject of sports and the Y-axis shows participation percentages .
Overall, besides tennis, almost all sports show a big difference by genders.
First of all, tennis observed similar preferences from males and females. 30% of males enjoy tennis and the percentage for females is slightly more than male’s.
Group sports have the biggest gap from genders. While approximately
65% women enjoy group sports, under 10% men participate in it. It means the percentage of men is 6-fold of women’s participation.
Football and Cycling also have a huge gap between males and females. Almost 70% male play football, however roughly 30% of women play in it. In cycling the proportion of males is almost doubled with female’s.
Swimming is an appealing sport for females. while slightly more than 20% of males enjoy swimming, 40% of females enjoy swimming. It is almost doubled. When it comes to jogging, this trend is reversed.
Overall, besides tennis, almost all sports show a big difference by genders.
First of all, tennis observed similar preferences from males and females. 30% of males enjoy tennis and the percentage for females is slightly more than male’s.
Group sports have the biggest gap from genders. While approximately
65% women enjoy group sports, under 10% men participate in it. It means the percentage of men is 6-fold of women’s participation.
Football and Cycling also have a huge gap between males and females. Almost 70% male play football, however roughly 30% of women play in it. In cycling the proportion of males is almost doubled with female’s.
Swimming is an appealing sport for females. while slightly more than 20% of males enjoy swimming, 40% of females enjoy swimming. It is almost doubled. When it comes to jogging, this trend is reversed.
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