AI IELTS Writing AI Correction
- Problem and Solution
Tourists damage many historical places, making them harder to preserve. What are some of the reasons for this? Suggest some ways to resolve this problem.
스코어팩토리 AI가 에세이를 평가하였습니다.
Evaluation
Task Response: [6]
The essay meets the requirements of the task and attempts to provide reasons for the problem and suggests some solutions. However, it could show a more clear overall opinion about the topic, leading to a more detailed explanation of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion: [5]
The essay is logically organized and provides clear progression of ideas. The writer uses some coherent devices to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some parts of the essay are somewhat unclear and can lead to confusion.
Lexical Resource: [6]
The range of vocabulary used by the writer is adequate. However, there are some repeated words and phrases, like 'historical places', 'people', and 'tourists'. The essay could benefit from more lexical variation and more accurate word choice.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [5]
The writer uses a variety of sentence structures and displays some complexity in their language. Yet, there are several noticeable grammatical errors throughout the essay and poor control of verb tenses leading to confusion.
Overall: [5.5]
This essay meets the basic requirements of IELTS Writing Task 2 but would benefit from a more accurate use of language and more consideration of coherence and cohesion. With more practice and attention to detail, the writer could certainly improve their skills.
Task Response: [6]
The essay meets the requirements of the task and attempts to provide reasons for the problem and suggests some solutions. However, it could show a more clear overall opinion about the topic, leading to a more detailed explanation of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion: [5]
The essay is logically organized and provides clear progression of ideas. The writer uses some coherent devices to link sentences and paragraphs. However, some parts of the essay are somewhat unclear and can lead to confusion.
Lexical Resource: [6]
The range of vocabulary used by the writer is adequate. However, there are some repeated words and phrases, like 'historical places', 'people', and 'tourists'. The essay could benefit from more lexical variation and more accurate word choice.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy: [5]
The writer uses a variety of sentence structures and displays some complexity in their language. Yet, there are several noticeable grammatical errors throughout the essay and poor control of verb tenses leading to confusion.
Overall: [5.5]
This essay meets the basic requirements of IELTS Writing Task 2 but would benefit from a more accurate use of language and more consideration of coherence and cohesion. With more practice and attention to detail, the writer could certainly improve their skills.
스코어팩토리 AI가 작성한 모범답안입니다.
Tourists damage many historical places, making them harder to preserve.
What are some of the reasons for this?
Suggest some ways to resolve this problem.
Essay:
The increasing ubiquity of tourism to historically significant locations has resulted in widespread damage, challenging preservation efforts. Countless factors contribute to this issue, yet it's not irreparable, and numerous solutions can halt this concerning trend.
In the context of globalisation, the international tourist population has ballooned, with historical sites and monuments fueling this growth. Accessibility of information regarding these sites online has fueled curiosity, leading to increased foot traffic. Unfortunately, this surge in tourism often leads to inadvertent damage. Many visitors have a persistent tendency to physically interact with artifacts, disregard privacy boundaries, disturb serenity by making excessive noise, and even scrap away parts of structures for keepsakes. The uniqueness and cultural relevancy of these historical sites spark peoples' interest, inadvertently causing harm to these delicate artifacts over time.
However, several proactive steps can be taken to mitigate the issue. Firstly, comprehensive guidelines regarding acceptable behaviour within the premise should be clearly communicated to tourists before entry. Such preventative measures can safeguard these structures from further harm. Secondly, a more effective security apparatus should be introduced within these sites to monitor and regulate the tourists' activities, creating a deterrent against potential vandalism. Finally, public awareness campaigns can be launched to educate tourists about the importance of preserving our cultural heritage, and the ethical ways to appreciate it without causing harm.
In conclusion, such remedial actions could stem the detrimental impacts of tourism on historical sites, provided they are implemented comprehensively and stringently.
Word count: 258 words
Essay translated in Korean:
역사적으로 중요한 위치에 대한 관광의 증가는 널리 퍼진 피해를 야기해 보존 노력을 어렵게 하고 있다. 이 문제에 기여하는 요인은 수없이 많지만, 이 문제가 불가능한 것은 아니며, 여러 해결책이 이 우려스러운 경향을 막을 수 있다.
글로벌화의 맥락에서, 국제적인 관광객의 수는 역사적인 장소와 기념물이 이 성장을 촉진하면서 불어났다. 이러한 사이트에 대한 온라인 정보의 접근성은 호기심을 불러일으켜 발자취를 늘렸다. 불행히도, 이런 관광의 급증은 종종 무심코 피해를 야기한다. 많은 방문객들은 유물과 물리적으로 상호작용을 꾸준히 실천하고, 사적인 경계를 무시하고, 과도한 소음으로 평온을 깨뜨리고, 심지어 기념품을 보관하기 위해 구조물의 일부를 긁어내는 경향이 있다. 이런 역사적인 장소들의 독특함과 문화적 관련성은 사람들의 호기심을 자극하여 점차 이런 섬세한 유물에 해를 끼치게 된다.
그러나 이런 문제를 완화하기 위해 몇 가지 적극적인 방법을 취할 수 있다. 첫째, 사전에 관광객들에게 예비적으로 행동 지침을 명확하게 전달하는 것이다. 이런 예방적 방안은 이런 구조물들을 더 이상의 피해로부터 보호할 수 있다. 둘째, 이런 사이트 내에 좀 더 효과적인 보안 체계를 도입해 관광객들의 활동을 감시하고 규제함으로써 잠재적인 훼손을 막는 방파제를 만드는 것이다. 마지막으로, 문화유산 보존의 중요성과 피해 없이 이를 감상하는 윤리적 방법에 대해 관광객들을 교육하기 위해 공공 인식 캠페인을 시작할 수 있다.
결론적으로, 이런 치료 조치들은 역사적인 장소에 관광의 해로운 영향을 억제할 수 있을 것이다, 전방위적이고 엄격하게 구현된다면.
Good expressions:
1. 'Countless factors contribute' - 수없는 요인들이 기여한다
2. 'In the context of globalisation' - 글로벌화의 맥락에서
3. 'Inadvertent damage' - 무심코 피해
4. 'Comprehensive guidelines' - 종합적인 가이드라인
5. 'Effective security apparatus' - 효과적인 보안 장치
6. 'Regulate the tourists' activities' - 관광객의 활동을 규제하다
7. 'Public awareness campaigns' - 공공 인식 캠페인
8. 'Detrimental impacts of tourism' - 관광의 해로운 영향들
9. 'Implemented comprehensively and stringently' - 전방위적이고 엄격하게 구현된다
The increasing ubiquity of tourism to historically significant locations has resulted in widespread damage, challenging preservation efforts. Countless factors contribute to this issue, yet it's not irreparable, and numerous solutions can halt this concerning trend.
In the context of globalisation, the international tourist population has ballooned, with historical sites and monuments fueling this growth. Accessibility of information regarding these sites online has fueled curiosity, leading to increased foot traffic. Unfortunately, this surge in tourism often leads to inadvertent damage. Many visitors have a persistent tendency to physically interact with artifacts, disregard privacy boundaries, disturb serenity by making excessive noise, and even scrap away parts of structures for keepsakes. The uniqueness and cultural relevancy of these historical sites spark peoples' interest, inadvertently causing harm to these delicate artifacts over time.
However, several proactive steps can be taken to mitigate the issue. Firstly, comprehensive guidelines regarding acceptable behaviour within the premise should be clearly communicated to tourists before entry. Such preventative measures can safeguard these structures from further harm. Secondly, a more effective security apparatus should be introduced within these sites to monitor and regulate the tourists' activities, creating a deterrent against potential vandalism. Finally, public awareness campaigns can be launched to educate tourists about the importance of preserving our cultural heritage, and the ethical ways to appreciate it without causing harm.
In conclusion, such remedial actions could stem the detrimental impacts of tourism on historical sites, provided they are implemented comprehensively and stringently.
Word count: 258 words
Essay translated in Korean:
역사적으로 중요한 위치에 대한 관광의 증가는 널리 퍼진 피해를 야기해 보존 노력을 어렵게 하고 있다. 이 문제에 기여하는 요인은 수없이 많지만, 이 문제가 불가능한 것은 아니며, 여러 해결책이 이 우려스러운 경향을 막을 수 있다.
글로벌화의 맥락에서, 국제적인 관광객의 수는 역사적인 장소와 기념물이 이 성장을 촉진하면서 불어났다. 이러한 사이트에 대한 온라인 정보의 접근성은 호기심을 불러일으켜 발자취를 늘렸다. 불행히도, 이런 관광의 급증은 종종 무심코 피해를 야기한다. 많은 방문객들은 유물과 물리적으로 상호작용을 꾸준히 실천하고, 사적인 경계를 무시하고, 과도한 소음으로 평온을 깨뜨리고, 심지어 기념품을 보관하기 위해 구조물의 일부를 긁어내는 경향이 있다. 이런 역사적인 장소들의 독특함과 문화적 관련성은 사람들의 호기심을 자극하여 점차 이런 섬세한 유물에 해를 끼치게 된다.
그러나 이런 문제를 완화하기 위해 몇 가지 적극적인 방법을 취할 수 있다. 첫째, 사전에 관광객들에게 예비적으로 행동 지침을 명확하게 전달하는 것이다. 이런 예방적 방안은 이런 구조물들을 더 이상의 피해로부터 보호할 수 있다. 둘째, 이런 사이트 내에 좀 더 효과적인 보안 체계를 도입해 관광객들의 활동을 감시하고 규제함으로써 잠재적인 훼손을 막는 방파제를 만드는 것이다. 마지막으로, 문화유산 보존의 중요성과 피해 없이 이를 감상하는 윤리적 방법에 대해 관광객들을 교육하기 위해 공공 인식 캠페인을 시작할 수 있다.
결론적으로, 이런 치료 조치들은 역사적인 장소에 관광의 해로운 영향을 억제할 수 있을 것이다, 전방위적이고 엄격하게 구현된다면.
Good expressions:
1. 'Countless factors contribute' - 수없는 요인들이 기여한다
2. 'In the context of globalisation' - 글로벌화의 맥락에서
3. 'Inadvertent damage' - 무심코 피해
4. 'Comprehensive guidelines' - 종합적인 가이드라인
5. 'Effective security apparatus' - 효과적인 보안 장치
6. 'Regulate the tourists' activities' - 관광객의 활동을 규제하다
7. 'Public awareness campaigns' - 공공 인식 캠페인
8. 'Detrimental impacts of tourism' - 관광의 해로운 영향들
9. 'Implemented comprehensively and stringently' - 전방위적이고 엄격하게 구현된다
제출한 라이팅
It is observed that since the number of historical areas is damaged by many tourists, preservation is hard. There are some reasons why this phenomenon occurs, but there also some solutions to tackle this issue.
To begin with, as generation is developed, population of tourist is going to increase. Also, individuals can easily acquire information about historical places and cultures with social media and the Internet. With these, many tourists traveled to country for visiting famous historical places, and some issues occur. Firstly, tourists tend to record their unique moments. People usually visit famous places for not only experience it in person but record with picture or video. For this reason, despite the warning, they act inappropriate behavior such as touching, taking a picture, and making a noise. Additionally, since feature of all historical areas are different depend on countries, normally people interested in objects or have a curiosity, and touching it. That is why, tourists damaged many historical places.
There are some solutions to address. Firstly, administer should notice before entered to historical place. If visitors recognize what behaviors should not allow in place, it would be prevented from damage. Secondly, historical building should be enforced security. Since monitoring is not working well, many tourists did not recognize their behavior. Thus, if security increased more, people will be carefully. Lastly, making the campaign. Campaign influenced various effects on society. If people inform to preservation of cultural properties by campaign, visitors will remind it easily.
In conclusion, due to the number of visitor’s wrong behavior a lot of historical places damaged. Thus, local people should try to preserve their historical areas with those solutions.
To begin with, as generation is developed, population of tourist is going to increase. Also, individuals can easily acquire information about historical places and cultures with social media and the Internet. With these, many tourists traveled to country for visiting famous historical places, and some issues occur. Firstly, tourists tend to record their unique moments. People usually visit famous places for not only experience it in person but record with picture or video. For this reason, despite the warning, they act inappropriate behavior such as touching, taking a picture, and making a noise. Additionally, since feature of all historical areas are different depend on countries, normally people interested in objects or have a curiosity, and touching it. That is why, tourists damaged many historical places.
There are some solutions to address. Firstly, administer should notice before entered to historical place. If visitors recognize what behaviors should not allow in place, it would be prevented from damage. Secondly, historical building should be enforced security. Since monitoring is not working well, many tourists did not recognize their behavior. Thus, if security increased more, people will be carefully. Lastly, making the campaign. Campaign influenced various effects on society. If people inform to preservation of cultural properties by campaign, visitors will remind it easily.
In conclusion, due to the number of visitor’s wrong behavior a lot of historical places damaged. Thus, local people should try to preserve their historical areas with those solutions.
공유
back to list 😎
